How to angel?

Aliza could feel everything around her. Her eyes were closed, but she didn't need to look to see. She felt the small creatures crawling in the ground. She felt the life of the trees and the plants surrounding her. She heard everything too. A leaf that hit the ground two miles away. A little stream of water that ran somewhere through the forest. When she was really concentrating, she could even feel Dean and Sam walking around in the bunker beneath her feet.

That was what she needed to focus on. The bunker. She pictured the room in her head. The books on the shelves, the lights on the table and the empty beer bottles laying around. She saw the place so clearly, she imagined herself being there. She imagined Dean's face when she would appear right in front of him.

Without noticing, her wings carried her to the place. Only somehow she bumped into a wall on her way there. Aliza fell back on her butt, her wings making way for her.

'Auch,' she proclaimed.

Dean and Sam looked up at where she was lying. Dean couldn't help but chuckle.

'Were you trying to sneak up on us?' he said with a big smile.

Aliza took Dean's hand and hoisted herself back up on her feet. 'Maybe.'

Sam shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and leaned against the wall.

'How are you doing? Being an angel and all.'

Aliza let her fingers trail over her forehead where she had hit the wall. There was no bump. It wasn't even painful anymore. Angels feel less and heal faster, she stated.

'It's difficult. Like suddenly trying to do a top sport level without ever having practiced. Cas is asking too much of me.'

Dean looked at her wings as he spoke. 'He is doing his best to help you. And the angels. By the way, why can we see your wings, but not of any other angel?'

'That is because Aliza had yet to learn how to hide them. It's a skill she will quickly learn,' Castiel said seconds after he arrived in the room. Instead of bumping into a wall, he appeared exactly where he wanted to. Next to Aliza.

'Well I can't wait! These things are heavier than they look,' Aliza complained.

Cas chuckled and stroked the wings at the base. Aliza looked shocked. A sudden weird feeling went all through her.

'What the hell was that?' she asked Cas, eyes big and full of horror.

Cas tipped his head to the side, his smile never leaving his face. 'Wings are very special for an angel. They are personal. They are also more sensitive for sexual tension.'

'OKAY! I'm leaving!'

Aliza spun on her heels and started for the door. Her wings were not ready to transport her correctly, but they could lift her off the ground. She took a leap into the air and flew to the door of the basement. Her shoes made a satisfying clink! Sound when they hit the steel floor at the top of the stairs, and she smiled when she opened the door.

Once outside she continued her training. That first time she could stop Castiel from walking at her. However, she couldn't do it again. It must have been the heat of the moment that made her so strong.

A lot of things bothered her about being an angel. She kept searching her skin for the familiar marks that made her who she was. There used to be a biting mark in her left calf from when a werewolf bit her. For a complete month she had waited for the change to come. She should have transformed at the full moon, but she didn't. That was the real moment she believed she wasn't human. John Winchester yelling it in her face was enough to believe in fairytales as a kid, but actually escaping from turning into a Lycanthrope convinced her she wasn't normal.

She also used to miss a chip out of her earlobe. The moment that happened she couldn't recall, but it was weird to have flesh grown back where it wasn't supposed to be.

But by far the weirdest thing, were her eyes. She had never liked her mismatching eye colors, but suddenly seeing this intense blue color freaked her out even more. She always liked the green-grey eye better, and hoped her eyes would turn that color. But no, she was an angel now. Angels needed perfect eyes.

She was so lost in her inner debates, that she didn't hear Cas appear behind her.

'I am sorry, that was inappropriate,' he said softly.

Aliza spun around to face him. She figured he had needed those ten minutes since she left the bunker to figure out why she was upset.

'It's okay Cas. Just…not in front of the boys,' she said, feeling a little awkward.

Cas smiled again as he walked up to her. They stared into each other's eyes for a while.

'Your eyes are beautiful. Yet, I liked it better when they were different. It made you more special,' Cas said while stroking her jaw with his fingers.

'They were weird because I was weird. Part angel, part human. Now there is no human left in me. I'm full angel,' she said, withholding the sadness.

Cas noticed her mood and stroked her hair lovingly. Aliza closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling for a while.

'You are not exactly the same as other angels. You are still more human than us,' he told her.

She raised an eyebrow. 'In what way?'

Cas lowered his hand and stared off into the distance. 'You were born on this earth, not in heaven. Up until now, you have lived a mortal life. You don't have to follow God's word. You are different in many ways. But most important, you are bound to one vessel. You see, I am not the person you see. The person you see-,'

'Is Jimmy, yes I remember,' Aliza cut in, not in the mood to talk about her collage teacher.

Cas looked at her for a moment, but read her face. 'But you…this is you. This is your face, your voice, your body.'

Aliza crossed her arms. 'But then how can I be an angel? How would my 'true form' look?'

Cas shrugged. 'No idea. You are new. This never happened before. It's only a guess. My guess, was to see this face, but then the same size as us, with massive wings that would spread across a city.'

Aliza looked a little uneasy. She tugged on her sleeve. Cas read her and moved in closer.

'Honestly, I think it is exciting. You are once again a mystery to be solved. Or not to be solved,' he told her with a smile of affection.

Aliza couldn't help but smile as well, looking at his happy face. She giggled and gave him a playful push on his arm. Cas hesitated for a moment, his arms moving up and down. Then he decided to go for it and hug her. Cas pulling her in his arms was the best feeling in the world. Before, he was this magnificent being that stood high above her. She always felt that tension she had felt since she figured out what she was. Angels were supposed to be her enemies, and finding one should be her death. But now she was one of them. And hugging Castiel in this moment wasn't like hugging the person above you. It was warm and meaningful.

Aliza stiffened when she felt his hands stroking her wings again. It was a feathery touch – pun intended – and it send goosebumps all over her body. She coughed uneasily.

'I will learn you to hide them. You must before you face the other angels,' he said, tickling her neck with his lips.

'If wings are so personal, is it like…walking around naked?' Aliza asked, feeling awkward about the things.

Cas chuckled. 'No, not really. Wings are also a sign of power. But it is best to hide them. It will lessen the complications.'

'Yeah, I bet we already have enough,' Aliza said while rolling her eyes. She let Cas go and faced him again.

'Do you really think I can lead an army of angels?' She asked desperately.

Cas avoided her eyes. He looked out into the forest when he thought about his answer.

'The Heavenly Fire you took makes you stronger than any other angel, even archangels. Metatron doesn't stand a chance in a battle against you at full power.'

Aliza started pacing. 'That is not what I mean. I do not care about firepower. I mean: do you think the angels will listen to me? Even when they know what I am?'

Cas looked over his shoulder, but his eyes were still cast to the ground. 'What you were.'

Aliza was so frustrated by his reply, that she pulled on her power and pushed him away. Cas was so taken aback that he fell onto the mossy ground. He looked up with big eyes.

'Stop giving me sideways answers! No angel is going to follow a Nephilim that "stole" the Heavenly Fire and became a useless freaking bird that can't fly! Honestly, I am not strong. I don't even know how to control this shit. You are the proof of that, laying there on the floor. I didn't mean to topple you over, but it happened. And when I face Metatron, I intend to destroy him but instead I'll tickle him!'

Cas pushed himself back to his feet. Some leafs clung to his clothing so he brushed them off. After he was clean of dirt, he placed a firm hand on Aliza's shoulder, forcing her to look at him.

'Stop this. This insecurity is the reason your powers aren't working the way you want it. The strongest angels that ever existed gave you their powers and you show them your back. I can see you never wanted to be an angel, but I didn't have another choice. The world would not have been better with the angel locked up in heaven and you dead. Now, you need to embrace it. Aliza, you are an angel, no longer a Nephilim. The other angels will follow you if you convince them you are worth following. I loved you as a Nephilim and now I love you as an angel. But you have to be the best version of the angel you can be,' Castiel said.

There was a lump in her throat after that speech. She looked down and back up. She breathed a couple of times deeply.

'You're right,' she finally said.

Cas gave her a slight smile. 'After all of that, we can finally be together. There will always be problems, always big responsibilities. But we will face all of it together.'

Aliza was in a moment of strength. His speech had encouraged her to pick up the training and try harder than possible. Cas tried to sooth her with his kind words, but now wasn't the time to be emotional.

'Alright. Let's do this.'

The warehouse they were standing in was surprisingly livingly. It was supposed to be an abandoned storage place, but this time of the year it was sheltering a large group of angels. The place looked like a true company. There were computers running on GPS systems or following news sites. There were actually angels doing paperwork and writing Word documents. Aliza had to try very hard to get that smirk of her face; it was all just kind of hilarious to her. But if she would walk in here with an opening like: 'did you use the grammar check?' no one was going to take her serious.

It didn't take long before people started noticing the two of them walking in. Several curious faces peeked over their screens to see the intruder. All the chatter and typing noises died away. Aliza tried very hard not to seem intimidated, but she did swallow loudly. In her head it was so loud that the people across the street could hear it.

The first thought that ran through Aliza's head was 'thank god I learned how to hide my wings in time. Please don't pop back up…' Cas and Aliza had practiced two days straight to get those things out of sight. At one point she just wished them to be gone so badly it suddenly happened. Cas was so happy he squealed out of that they continued the normal training and didn't stop until either Aliza or Cas begged for mercy. They could heal each other, so they could go pretty far with the fighting. Aliza enjoyed the fighting practice. She got a similar rush to the one she had when they were fighting in Crowley's dungeon, yet this had different reasons. Cas wasn't portraying the crap of her life this time. This time she just enjoyed playing with her boyfriend. At some points it could get quite hot…

Finally a woman came up to Cas and Aliza. She had dark shoulder-length hair and a slim pointed face.

'Castiel. You have returned,' she said fondly. There was a twinkle of happiness in her eyes at seeing him again.

Aliza didn't like her.

'We have, Hannah,' he replied with a smile. 'And now is the time to strike.'

Hannah looked taken aback. 'Castiel, where is this suddenly coming from? You told us to do more research-,'

He held up his hand and she instantly silenced. 'There is no need any longer. We have the power and the plan.'

An adult male stood up from his chair. 'We don't have the power. That is the whole problem.'

Cas looked over at the male angel – or female, never know what is inside – and then scanned the faces in the room.

'We have Aliza. She is going to lead us to victory.'

This was the moment all the faces turned to her. She tried to restrain herself from fumbling with her hair.

'Hi.'

The angels kept staring at her like she was an insignificant speck of dust.

'Who is she then?' Hannah finally asked Cas. Her eyes kept inspecting Aliza, searching for anything special.

'Aliza is a newfound angel with incredible strength. I have seen it myself. She has the spirit and the mindset to defeat Metatron and open the gates,' Cas said full of pride.

'How is she newfound? Where have you been?' the man that spoke earlier asked.

Aliza's eyes looked over to Cas. 'She just became an angel,' Cas told them seriously.

Some of them gasped, others stared in horror. Hannah took a step back.

'Castiel! What kind of abomination have you brought here?' she said with a look of disgust.

Aliza started to heat up inside. She wanted so badly to strike the bitch down. Nothing about Hannah was likeable or even acceptable. The only reason to hold back was because Cas trusted her. And the angels weren't going to cheer for her if she killed an ally.

However, Aliza didn't need to do anything. Cas took a step forward towards Hannah. His posture was threatening.

'You do not get to speak to her like that! Aliza is the best and strongest person in this room! It doesn't matter that she was a Nephilim, she is still-,'

Then, hell broke loose.

'A Nephilim!' they all screamed in surprise, disgust and anger. They all started shouting at Cas and Aliza, and more to each other. Cas tried to calm them down, but he couldn't get the upper hand. He tried to silence them with force, but also that didn't work.

'Okay SHUT UP!' Aliza yelled at the top of her lungs, which she now found to be even stronger than before her transformation.

Somehow it worked. They all turned quiet and stared at her. There was still anger in their looks, but also curiosity.

Cautiously, she took a couple of steps further into the room. She scanned the faces of the angels, but decided to turn to one. Hannah.

'No secret there, I used to be a Nephilim. A mistake. A mistake, made by an angel! I didn't ask to be like this, but you people screwed up! And now you did it again. Humans trust angels to guard heaven and bring them to the afterlife. But what is happening? You guys fight each other like some bickering children! You are hundreds of years old, and yet you can't even do the one thing God asked you to? The one thing the humans ask you to?'

There was a deafening silence. No soul dared to say something. Some angry stares changed into ashamed looks. Hannah however, still looked like she was ready to pull the hairs out of Aliza's skull. For her own entertainment, Aliza decided to stand even closer to Hannah.

'And now here we are. The big alliance that is going to kick Metatron's ass and restore heaven the way it was. And what are you people doing? More bickering! Quit the shit and do what you should do! And if you guys only act when a leader tells you to, then you better follow me and Castiel.'

Hannah breathed through her nose. Aliza could have sworn steam came out.

'And why should we follow you?'

Aliza gave her a wicked smile. 'I might be a Nephilim, but I am the only goddamn soul that does something.'

There were some gasps at her choice of words, but then they were completely silent again. They just stared. Aliza rolled her eyes. Now she saw what kind of mindless followers angels were. All you have to do, it gain their respect.

And slowly, she started to gain it.

Cas placed a hand on her shoulder. 'Aliza will not stand alone. I will remain at her side at all times. Together, we can…how did you say it? Kick Metatron's ass,' he said, proud of himself. Aliza smiled at his adorableness.

'So,' Aliza started. She looked around, at this point deliberately ignoring Hannah. 'Can you set our little disagreement aside and follow us?'

There were a couple of heartbeats were nothing happened, and Aliza feared they would attack the two of them. But then one angel who still sat, stood up.

'I will follow you.'

Aliza gave the angel a kind smile. Then the next stood.

'I will follow you.'

And the next, and the next and so on. Every angel had spoken and said to follow Aliza and Cas. Every angel, except Hannah. Hannah stared at Cas.

'How could you do something like this? Why do you trust her?' she asked desperately.

Cas looked down at Aliza and placed his arm around her shoulders. He pulled her close into his chest.

'Because, hell, I fell in love with an Nephilim and now I'm paying the price.'

There was a stupid grin plastered to his face. Aliza felt a little offended, but to be honest, she thought it was the smartest thing to say. She poked him in his ribs with her elbow, trying not to show how emotional she could get over that little thing.

Hannah clearly didn't approve of their relationship, but hey, who cares. At least she seemed to calm down and see reason.

'Fine. If you think this is the way Castiel, then I will follow you. Both of you,' Hannah said.

Both looked back at her. Cas retracted his arm.

'Thank you Hannah,' he honestly said. He was just happy to not lose any of his followers. And so was Aliza. With a little bit of luck, they could stop Metatron.

'Okay, since that is settled,' Aliza began while moving over to a whiteboard to start lecturing, 'here is the plan.'

Metatron sat behind his desk. His type machine stood in front of him with a blank page ready to be written. But he wasn't going to write anything down.

A knock on the door startled the angel from his thoughts. After a moment one of his most loyal followers came in. He stopped in front of the vintage desk and waited until he was permitted to speak. This was one of the things that annoyed Metatron about angels. There was not a speck of specialness in them. They were soldiers, born to follow. Or at least, that is what they made themselves think. Metatron was the living proof that an angel could lead, even when he wasn't destined to be a leader. There was another example, but he despised the idiot in a trenchcoat too much to give him much thought.

Metatron waved for the angel to tell the news.

'My lord. We have spotted a group of Castiel's followers. They were aiming for the door to heaven. None of them succeeded to come in,' the angel reported.

Metatron took the glasses from his nose and carefully put them on the desk. Then he leaned forward, entangling his fingers as he leaned them on the hard wood.

'No one? Then why do I feel someone's presence in heaven?' he said patiently.

The angel looked frantically for an answer. 'M-my lord?'

Metatron chose his words carefully. 'If no one entered, then why is Castiel in heaven?'

Before the angel could come up with a response, he was grabbed by his throat and pulled back against another person. A shiny angel blade was pressed against his throat. The other hand had a firm grip on his shoulder. Castiel poked his head over the angel his shoulder, bringing his lips to his ear.

'Do not move, or you will die,' he said through his teeth.

Metatron didn't even rise from his chair. 'Castiel. What an absolute pleasure…no wait. It really isn't.'

The angel in the trenchcoat looked at the scribe of God. 'Metatron. You will listen to me, or he will die.'

Metatron simply chuckled. 'You think I care? Castiel, I thought you knew me better than that.'

With a snap of Metatron's hand, the angel's neck snapped and he fell to the floor. There was a blinding light and deafening sound. When they stopped, there was a print of his wings branded into the floor. Cas watched helplessly. He hated to watch a brother or sister die.

Cas looked back up at Metatron. The small guy had an evil smirk on his face.

'Oh come on! You couldn't have honestly thought that was a solid plan.'

Metatron felt something snake around his neck. It were fingers, that slid against his skin, until the full hand was in place and started squeezing. Metatron's eyes popped open in surprise.

You're right, that wasn't the full plan,' the voice from the person behind him spoke. The voice was feminine, and very calm.

'Y-you were dead,' Metatron said with difficulty.

Aliza chuckled in his ear and looked up at Castiel for a moment. 'No silly. Do you really think I would pray to you without a good plan? Honey, have you seen Muriel around lately?'

Metatron looked up at Cas, because he couldn't see Aliza's face. 'You killed him.'

'No, I stole his grace. Then he killed himself.'

Metatron decided to try at breaking free. He placed a hand over hers and tried to burn her with his angelic power. Her skin was supposed to bubble and burn. Instead, nothing happened.

Aliza placed her other hand over his, and started sending waves of power into him. It build up to static electricity and it gave Metatron a big shock. He shook his hand violently.

'No, no you can't do that! You stole grace?' Metatron whined in despair.

'Well, the way there was a little longer, but yeah. I am an angel now. A pretty damn powerful one,' she told him.

'You are a disgrace! You don't belong in heaven!' he squeaked.

'I don't want to be in heaven. But there are a couple of angels that do. You are going to open the gates again. And after that, you will go to prison.' Aliza pushed him forward into the room. The little man stumbled over his own feet and ended up nearly falling over Castiel. He looked back to take a look at Aliza.

'You changed so much,' he said lowly. He still loathed her for becoming an angel, but he also saw the beauty. She was the purest creature he had ever seen. Then it hit him.

'This can't be normal grace to change you so much,' Metatron said.

Aliza walked towards him and he flinched. He hated to feel so intimidated, but he simply knew she was stronger than him.

'Enough talking. Let's go,' Aliza said.

Metatron tried to get some of his confidence back. 'I have a lot of guards outside who will fight you the moment you walk through that door.'

Cas took a hold of Metatron's collar and pulled him closer. 'Didn't you listen? Our followers are fighting them right now.'

Metatron looked from Cas to Aliza. 'So, they were a diversion, and so were you? Aliza is the final endgame then?'

Aliza leaned in to whisper in his ear. 'That is for us to know…blah blah blah.'

The little angel seemed to get bright red from anger and irritation. He couldn't do a thing, except what they asked of him.

'Fine.'

Aliza and Castiel watched every move Metatron made. He was casting a spell to open the gates again, and they knew he was doing it correctly. He was busy drawing sigils on the floor, when Aliza let out a long withheld sigh. Cas looked over at her.

'Are you alright?' he asked on a low tone, not inviting Metatron into the conversation.

Aliza smiled up at him. 'Just relieved it is working. This rat better not try any more tricks.'

They both looked down upon the angel. He had stopped to try to listen to their conversation. Angels had better hearing, but they also knew how to shield a conversation from another angel.

'What are you going to do with him after he is done?' Aliza asked.

'Like you said, he will go to prison. A prison in heaven is one you are not getting out of. For eternity,' Cas said harshly.

'Sounds cozy,' Aliza replied, her mind wandering. What was she going to do after this? Now that the ritual didn't require her death, she actually had a chance at a life with Cas. But how was she going to spend it? The angels needed a leader for this attack, but would they ask Cas to stay in heaven and rule? They were still with the problem of no other leader. She sure as hell wasn't going to stay in here. So, would she go back to hunting with Dean and Sam? She would love to, but there were some complications now.

For example, she was an angel.

She had learned the basics of how to fight, but she still sucked at the entire 'angel of the lord' thing. Was Cas going to teach her? That thought cheered her up. Just the idea of Cas and her practicing in the bunker with Dean and Sam around…she needed nothing more.

'Alright. That is the setup. All I need to do now is perform the spell,' Metatron told them. Aliza shook herself from her wandering thoughts and focused back on the rather important task at hand. Cas and Aliza closed in to his work and judged ever single detail, making sure he wasn't playing them.

'I can't find anything that is wrong,' Cas told her.

Aliza looked over to the small man. 'Are you really not trying to trick us?'

He gave her a long and intense look. He did a try at puppy eyes to get her pity, but all she felt for this guy was loathing. He was pathetic.

'I agree. Maybe the angels should come back to heaven. Just, promise me something. Do that, and I'll cooperate completely,' he pleaded.

Aliza and Cas shared a look. That one look was enough to share their thoughts. They would listen but not promise a single thing. Cooperative or not, they were controlling him now. 'What?' Aliza asked.

'Whoever gets to be leader of heaven after me, don't let it be you,' he said to Aliza. Then he turned his head to Cas. 'Or you. You guys suck.'

Aliza got her 'fair enough' expression on. 'Yeah, he's right about that.'

Cas looked at her like she had gone insane, but he didn't say anything about it.

'Start the spell.'

Metatron did as he was told and performed the spell. Aliza could feel the power of the spell vibrating in her body and essence. This time it wasn't effecting her like it did with Crowley, this time it powered her up. She was no longer a misshapen thing in between an angel and a human. She was full on angel. And if she were honest with herself, she started to like this new her.

Cas stood next to her and took her hand. She looked down at their joined hands and then up to Cas. The look on his face was the most honest and pure thing. He looked at her with affection. With love. And in that moment, Aliza wondered why it was ever hard for her to say those words. She leaned in to his face and looked him in the eye with that same expression.

'I love you,' she told him.

Cas couldn't possibly have a bigger stupid grin on his face. Aliza chuckled at how odd it was that a century old angel could be this cute.

'I love you too,' Cas told her with all honesty.

The light in the room became so much that it blinded out all the details. The last thing Aliza could see were Cas's blue eyes.