Walking was boring. If you've ever walked with friends around an amusement park, this was different. For the first couple of days after Ann joined the company, they fell into a routine. They would get up before dawn, then start walking. Balin and Dwalin would take turns reading the map, and usually have a disagreement which they would take to Thorin. Thorin would brood over the map for a bit which would give them the time to stop for a meal. They would eat in silence, their meal consisting of bread and dried meats, and for the first couple of days, they had some cheese. But that didn't last long. Then they would walk some more, and they continued to do so until they found a wide enough space on the path for the company to sleep. If they were lucky, which they rarely were, they found a cave with nothing in it, that was big enough for all of them. But usually they were stuck with a wide space of the path.
Bombur was the one who came up with supper, he hoarded the rations and religiously guarded them, though he rarely ate outside of meal times. While he made dinner, Gloin and Oin would try to get Thorin to let them have a fire, he would always deny them. They would have something plain and meager for dinner. Then Dwalin would not-so-subtly bring up the watch schedule. Balin usually got first watch, Bofur, Dori, or Gloin, was assigned the second, then Fili would volunteer for third, and Dwalin would take the last watch. When the food was gone, and Thorin had stopped discussing plans with the company, people settled down to sleep, though it didn't come easy.
Some nights, when Ann was feeling daring and safe, she would try to sleep. She always claimed a spot along the mountain face, so she could lean against it and have a hand on her sword. It took a long time for sleep to come to her, and when it did, sleep wasn't pleasant. She would sleep deeply for a bit, no dreams. But then after her body got enough rest, the subconscious took over.
The dreams, or more accurately nightmares started off with someone from their company falling, Ann could never tell who. And someone else would fall with him. Though it wasn't Jane. As she was standing next to Ann holding rope away from her, just out of her reach. Then they were pulled underground, their feet sinking into the earth. Ann would emerge alone in a chamber she was separated from the group. And it was dark, so terribly dark. Like when you look out your window in the witching hour, and you can't see anything, even the stars. This part was the worst. Something crawled out of the darkness, and asked her questions, always the questions.
"Are you dead?" That was the first.
"Are you going to abandon your friends?" It sounded like it had a bad cold and had almost lost it's voice.
Ann would always shake her head. "No."
"But what about your family? Are you going to leave them too?" It rasped.
Then her mother would appear, to her left, and Fili would appear on her right.
"Are you going to leave me all alone?" Her mother put a hand on her shoulder.
"But you can't go back, you said-" Ann turned to look at Fili who had a hand on her shoulder too, but he was covered in blood, and had a curved blade stuck through his chest.
That was when she was woken up.
Fili shook her shoulder, and Ann sat up quickly.
"You're alright." Fili sat down next to her. "My watch is just starting."
"Okay." Ann blinked a couple of times, and rubbed her eyes harshly.
"You were dreaming." Fili turned to her and grinned. "People would say you're a sear you dream so much.
Ann rolled her eyes. "It's bad really, I feel like i don't sleep at all."
Fili chuckled and shook his head. "Was it about something different today?"
"No, same old same old." Ann looked away. She thought about telling him. 'No it had been different, today. Today you were covered in blood and had been stabbed.' Not even in her head did that sound smooth.
Fili took his swords out of their sheaths and took his whetstone and ran it along the blade. They fell into a companionable silence
Ann looked up at the sky, the stars were bright. She remembered how her father had gotten her a telescope for christmas one year, then took them out hiking so she could use it. That year she had learned so many constellations, she had forgotten some, but she still knew most of them. Though, as she squinted and looked around, the sky was not the same. She contemplated breaking the silence, but curiosity got the best of her. "Do you know any constellations?"
Fili set down his blade and turned his gaze to the sky. "Do you see those five stars?" He pointed at a pattern of stars bunched together.
"I see five stars." Ann laughed. "But I'm not sure they're the ones you're talking about."
Fili set down his whetstone and positioned himself closer to Ann. "They're the ones that are shaped like two holes in the ground."
Ann spotted them, they were a little to the left of where she had been looking. "Yeah."
"It's the constellation Wilwarin, though some from other places, elves for one, call it Vilwarin." Fili smirked. "It's a butterfly."
"Does it have a story?" Ann stared up at the stars, they looked rather like Cassiopeia, except for all smushed together.
"All stars have a story, though some have been lost." Fili craned his neck upwards, then closed his eyes.
Ann rolled her eyes and glanced over at Fili. His usual smirk had settled on his face and he looked like he was rather enjoying himself. "You're stalling so you can try to remember."
"Aye." Fili chuckled. "I think the tale of Wilwarin is this, Wilwarin was an elven princess, who father had led an attack on the dwarves, looking for their gold. But the dwarves conquered the elves, and laid siege to their city. In the last minutes of battle the king turned his daughter into a butterfly so she could escape the clutches of the dwarves. But, when she saw her people being slaughtered, Wilwarin flew away, so far that she reached the stars, and stayed there."
"Maybe it was because the dwarves she saw were so ugly." Ann teased.
Fili shook his head. "But my favorite, is well, do you see those two bright stars there?" Fili pointed over Ann to near the horizon.
"The two really bright ones?" Ann looked over and saw them, one an orangish, the other a whitish color.
"Do you see the line of stars beneath them."
"They look like legs, and well, bodies."
"Yes, those are the brothers Dwornik, and Dulek." Fili began. "They were the dwarves that slayed the first dragon, and they went on many adventures, though my favorite would be when they went and avenged their father Dwerin by defeating the king of olliphants."
"Have you ever seen an eclipse?" Ann was wide awake, and knew that even once Fili's watch was over, and him asleep once more, that sleep would post no claim over her.
"Have you?" Fili smirked.
"Yeah." Ann looked up. "I was coming home from school, and the sky darkened and I remember the girl who lived a couple of houses down from us screamed, but she was young then, eight or nine I think."
"I saw a blood moon once." Fili nodded.
"In Ered Luin?"
"No we were going to Silverbuck along the greenway pass, escorting merchants." Fili looked up into the sky as if remembering it. "It was a huge full moon, really quite bright. The men we were traveling with didn't react well. They said it was," Fili paused "an omen of the worst kind."
"Well that's not good." Ann chuckled. "Did they let you keep escorting them, or did they fire you?"
"Fire us?" Fili sounded scandalized. "They neither threw us into a fire, or burned us."
"No," Ann laughed, "it's a saying, it means they um, un-hired you."
"Oh, quite the opposite actually." Fili took up his whetstone again. "They were convinced that the reason their Gods did not strike them down where they were was because they were travelling with royalty."
"Oh yeah, you're a prince or whatever." Ann tried to sound nonchalant, but really she didn't know how Fili was going to react.
"Yea, or whatever." Fili rolled his eyes. "Really 'tis not a big title. Not at least until Uncle has reclaimed Erebor and becomes king."
"Huh." Ann located the constellation of Dwornik and Dulek. "How was the blue mountains?"
"It was home." Fili said simply. "Kili and I grew up there really, and Mother and Uncle were happy, I think, for a time."
"Was it big?" Ann laughed. "Did it snow?"
"Oh all the time." Fili rubbed his beard. "In November it would snow and snow, and once a while back it snowed so much that we couldn't go outside." Fili sighed. "It was back when Kili and I were still running around and causing mischief."
"Like you still don't do that." Ann teased.
"But now it seems you are the one who seems to be the cause of all this trouble."
"Nah." Ann smiled.
The steady constant sound of the whetstone eventually lulled Ann into an almost sleep-like state.
"Do you sharpen your blades?" Fili nudged her, bringing Ann back to reality.
"No." Ann closed her eyes. "Not like I'm going to use them though." Ann felt Fili's stare on her and realized that Fili was the type of person who was prepared for everything.
"Please stop looking at me." Ann sighed knowing that he would give her the typical boy scout motto.
"Not when we are on a mountain that has not been passed through for a decade. There are no telling what the dangers have been lurking in the shadows, and have followed us."
"Bleh, bleh bleh, bleh bleh bleh." Ann stuck her tongue out. " All I'm hearing is blah, blah, blah. Anyway, what would you have me do?"
"Give me your blades." Fili held his hand out.
Ann sighed and took the dagger out of her sleeve.
"And?" Fili looked at it for a moment and looked back at her smirking.
"And what?" Ann almost grinned, knowing that her evasiveness was one of her best traits.
"This is neither the knife I gave or the one you bought in the markets of the Shire."
"How do you know?" Ann raised her eyebrow.
Fili flipped the blade so it caught the light of the moon. "It's an elvish blade."
"Hmm." Ann grinned nervously. "That seems to be the case."
"Where do you get this?" Fili ran his thumb along the edge.
"Middle Earth."
Fili looked done, there was no other word for it.
"Is there any possible way you could be more specific?"
"Yep." Ann closed her eyes again.
"I swear on Mahal's hammer getting the simplest information out of you is like getting Kili out of bed in the morning."
"Thorin gets Kili up every morning without a problem." Ann let a smile twitch upon her lips.
"That is because, Thorin is-" Fili opened and closed his mouth a couple of times.
"Because Thorin's majesty is simply overwhelming."
"What?" Ann looked over to see a look of complete befuddlement upon Fili's face.
"Tell me the most defining trait about your uncle?" Ann watched as Fili stared off out into the distance.
"He's the, what did you say before? Definition of royal. He's always kingly, royal, regal-"
"Majestic?" Ann watched as Fili slowly nodded.
"Yes." Fili turned toward her. "But who is unmajestic, if Thorin is the definition?"
"Well, just in this company?" Ann stroked her imaginary beard.
"Yes."
"Well definitely not Thorin, Dwalin, Balin-"
"Me?" Fili was smirking.
"I dunno." Ann shrugged. "You're blond."
Fili sputtered. "So are you."
Ann fiddled with her dirty blond hair for a second before shoving it back behind her ear. "Yeah but I'm not a dwarf girl."
"Yes, but you are a girl." Fili nodded saddly. "Which is why you shouldn't be here."
"I swear to god all men here are sexist pigs." Ann took her knife back from Fili.
"Ann wait." Fili rolled his eyes. "I meant not to imply that you are weak."
"Yeah, I know." Ann repositioned herself against the cliff face. "But you still think me weaker than yourself."
"Of course." Fili smirked. "I'm better than everyone here, with the exception of Master Dwalin, and maybe Uncle."
"I do believe you've forgotten that I'm sitting here next to you." Ann elbowed him. A few of the company stirred. Ann shot Fili a look and they both sat there for a moment looking guilty.
"No, you've not been trained in the art of swordplay." Fili crossed his arms.
"And you have?" Ann rolled her eyes.
"By Master Dwalin, and my Uncle." Fili nodded.
"How was Dwalin as a teacher, I can't imagine it." Ann pictured Dwalin chasing children around an arena shouting 'You can only learn from experience!" Someone near the edge of the company rolled over quite loudly.
"He wasn't patient." Fili shook his head. "Or kind, or understanding. But he was a good teacher."
"Aye laddie." Dwalin sat up. "But you've not learned everything."
"I never said I did." Fili looked terrified of the fact that the scariest member of the company had just caught him talking about said member.
"Though you have learnt enough." Dwalin nodded to himself.
"Aye." Fili nodded at Dwalin, who nodded back and walked around the perimeter of their camp a couple of times before settling back down.
"If you were ever killed, how would you want to go?" Ann had been asking herself this a lot lately.
"I would want to be killed in battle. It would be an honorous death, I would die protecting kin." Fili answered after an almost imperceptible pause.
"Would you really? Because then they would all be sad that you'd have died, and well what if you never got to say good bye?" Ann mumbled, barely louder than the whetstone on steel.
"Aye." Fili nodded. "But I would rather die than my kin fall."
"You wouldn't get a tomb, you would be burnt in the pyre."
"No, I'm a descendant of Durin, they wouldn't show such blatant disrespect like that."
"I think I'd want to die of age surrounded by family." Ann thought for a moment. "But I don't really have any family here."
"Then where are they?" Fili stopped his stone.
"In a land far away, the like of which you will not find in the world today." Ann had a momentary vision, of Bilbo pouring over a book, it was leather bound and-
"What do you mean? The undying lands of the elves?" Fili questioned.
"No, not there." Ann sighed.
"Then why can't they come?" Fili looked over at her.
"Because things aren't that simple." Ann glared at him.
"Why are things complicated than?"
Ann stared at Fili, dumbfounded. "Because I don't know how I got here, I don't even know why I'm here. And the worst thing is Fili, I'm not sure I can get back." Ann looked down, she definitely wouldn't cry in front of Fili.
"Well that's not good." Fili put his arm around her shoulders.
"Yeah."
"Too bad Gandalf's not with us. He probably knows how, or the people in Rivendell." Fili looked down at Ann. "Though I don't know why you didn't ask him before."
"It's because I was having too much fun, and I didn't think about home before."
"Why don't you get some sleep? I'll still be here." Fili didn't release her though.
Honestly, Ann just wanted to sleep. Really sleep. But she couldn't, because she knew the nightmares would come. She hadn't really truly slept for two days.
"I'm not tired." She lied.
"Alright." Fili didn't look convinced but he left it at that.
When the company arose that next day, Ann was sure that something was going to go wrong, like the time she had tried to microwave a potato, and as the clock ticked down, the feeling in the pit of her stomach grew and grew until Jane walked in and she tackled her out of the kitchen as the microwave exploded, or more accurately the potato inside it.
"Jane." Ann was hovering over her sleeping bag. "Get up."
"What do you want?" Jane rolled back over.
"For you to get up." Ann glared at the lump inside of the bedroll, like doing so would make it get up.
"But I want to sleep." Jane moaned.
"And I want chocolate, but we can't always get what we want." Ann nudged Jane again with her foot.
"Fine." Jane sat up and rolled out of bed shivering in the crisp morning air.
"Fine." Ann was momentarily amused, but the feeling faded as the block of dread fell into her stomach.
They were soon walking, and the day started well. They talked quietly among themselves for a while, until about noon when the path got too thin. Then came the rain.
It came out of nowhere leaving everyone to scramble for their hoods. It was crashing down like no tomorrow. It was frigid and soon, everyone was soaking and frozen to the bone.
The path got especially narrow and everyone was facing away from the mountain, packs pressed against the mountain, trying not to fall or slip off. Bombur had to give his pack to Ori to avoid being too large to fit on the path.
It was an understatement that everyone was miserable. Balin and Dwalin were checking every cave they got to, but these were too small to fit but three or four people at a time. They pushed on. It had been hours, they were walking farther than they would have stopped normally. But at Thorin's unrelenting telling they needed to walk longer to even out their slow pace. While his logic made sense, Ann still didn't like it.
Ann let her left hand trail against the cliff face. The whole world felt cold and dark. It felt dark, and the sinking feeling of dread in her stomach hadn't gone away. Ann had barely been able to force a meager lunch down her throat. Fili had thought she was trying not to eat it all at once and had offered her some of his. She had refused, insisting that he eat it. He wouldn't budge and it wasn't until Ann refused to eat anymore of her lunch until Fili had eaten all of his that he stopped grumbling.
Then a boulder had come scarily close to hitting them. Ann thought that would be the end of the feeling, but even with the rain lightening up, and talking with Bofur, it was still there. It was night now, and Ann could barely see.
Ann slipped and felt herself become weightless. The world slowed. Fear filled her, and as she looked down, she couldn't even see the bottom of the valley. It felt like years, she saw Jane in front of her take another step forward, and Fili from behind her lung with his hand out.
It took Ann a second to grasp what was really happening and that she should try to grab Fili's hand. And then more time to get her body to react to it, but once it did the world went back to regular speed. Ann fell hard on her elbows, her body was over the cliff, they were the only thing keeping her up. But it was wet, and Ann felt herself going farther off the edge, the gravel of the pathway scraping her arms.
"Ann!" Fili was right beside her, but she was still slipping. Soon she had gone from her elbows being semi on the ground to her fore arms, and she was afraid. Afraid she was going to fall upon the rocks and become dinner for the buzzards of middle earth. Afraid that she would never see her friends and family again. Ann was petrified. Her fingers were shaking, and they were clenched so hard that it hurt. Ann tried to shift her weight so she could get her midriff onto the path again, but it caused to slip even more. She tried again but to no avail. She slid off and with a cry was brought to her hands.
Ann felt her fingers slip and in a last ditch effort she grabbed onto a rock with her right hand. She felt it cut into and break the skin of her palm. Ann flung her left arm out and grabbed a another piece of jutting rock that would serve as a hand-hold a bit off lower than the path way.
Fili grabbed her hand, and tried to pull her up. But in doing so he made it even worse. Her hand slipped from his grip.
Her right hand slipped. She twisted and became weightless once more.