AN#1: Thanks again for your interest. I finished this sooner than I thought, but I'm not sure if I like it or not.I would appreciate you letting me know what you think:) I do not own or profit from The Walking Dead ( or characters) in any of it's forms.

CHAPTER 4

Shallows where a lamb could wade and depths where an elephant would drown. ~Matthew Henry

Three Hours Later

Carol sat on the stairs of the farmhouse watching the sunset. Judith was asleep in the house watched over by a dotting Beth who couldn't seem to put her down. She could see Miller and Gallant in the yard on watch.

The sky was beautiful, shades of pink, yellow, red and orange danced on the clouds. Carol couldn't remember the last time she watched the sun set. This time of day at the prison she would have been busy making preparations for the next day. She had been scared to slow down, she didn't want time to herself.

Time to yourself meant time to think, be introspective and face certain truths. Sophia would always be present in her mind,she only had to close her eyes and her face was there. She dealt with Sophia's death the best she could. It was like a river of anguish tightly encapsulated in her mind with only small trickle allowed to seep out at a time or it would overwhelm her like a tsunami. Rick Grimes was not an authority on grief, she never should have allowed him to believe he was. But somehow that day, in the cul de sac, she suddenly felt as though it was Ed. Ed telling her she was worthless, no one would want her, abandoning her. She simply could not speak in her own defense.

No more, she thought, she'd have it out with Rick and if he couldn't understand well she could always leave. She'd confessed everything (Karen, David,Lizzie) to the Lieutenant and Beth. Beth had hugged her and said she had assumed it was Carol all along who had killed Karen and David.

"You're the only one selfless enough to sacrifice yourself for us Carol, you knew what could happen to you but still did it anyway. I'm sure there were others who thought of doing the same thing, but were too scared. I don't know if I agree with what you did, but I love you and I could never condemn you for wanting to protect me and the others." Beth had said kindly. The lieutenant had nodded and informed her warriors were always welcomed at The Hilltop.

She didn't know if she could ever leave Daryl again. She had long ago ceased to hope things would progress to a romantic relationship. She just didn't think Daryl would ever get there. Didn't mean she wanted it any less. She wanted to lie down with him every night, fall asleep in his arms. She wanted to wake up every morning in quiet contentment. She wanted sex too obviously, oh god did she want sex, but she knew he just wasn't ready. He might never be. She had been contemplating this at the prison before the flu had hit. Could she be with someone else?

The answer had come with a resounding bang since the prison had fallen: no, she couldn't. It was Daryl or no one. No one could fill his place in her heart. He had dug himself in there deep and he didn't even know it. Sure there was times she got a hint to his feelings( she wasn't blind). Maggie and Michonne had chided her for not making a "move". She had thought about that too, walked towards his cell to many times to count only to stop and turn around. It all came down to the fact she wanted him to be the one to make the"move".

Call her old fashioned but she felt like she needed it to be him. Ed had decimated her self esteem, and just once she wanted to feel like the object of someone's pursuit, desires, to feel special. Didn't mean she loved him any less. In her mind their hearts were irrevocably intertwined, never to be parted. She would wait forever for him to be ready, and if he never was, she was okay with that too.

After Sophia's death, he had been her reason to live, to keep going, moving. She didn't need him to define her life anymore, but maybe he needed her to return the favor.

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Rick had been standing at the crack in the wall of the train car for what seemed like ages. He was watching the guards, looking for any weakness, and trying to map out any routines like changing of shifts. Daryl thought it was pointless, they knew when the guards changed, figured that out the first day.

"Maybe Carol will figure something out" Rick said suddenly. Daryl quirked his brow and looked over at Rick

"Maybe" he replied

"Daryl, about Carol..." Rick began than paused as though searching for the right words.

"We doin this now? " Daryl interjected.

"Seems like as good a time as any" Rick said chuckling nervously.

"Alright, say what ya gotta say" daryl responded.

Rick look down at the floor, one hand clasped the back of his neck, as he struggled for the right words. Daryl was prepared for Rick to start back up with the same arguments he'd given him at the prison. He did love Rick like a brother but this would be a bone of contention with them, cause he loved Carol too. He braced himself for an argument, not wanting to allow himself to get out of control. They didn't need to fight amongst themselves right now, they needed to work together...

"I, ...I'm sorry, I was wrong, I made a mistake." Daryl's head snapped up in surprise as Rick voice interrupted his train of thoughts.

"Just like that?" Daryl said

"Yeah just like that..." He responded

"So when we see Carol again?..."

Rick smiled at Daryl's use of when, not if and said "well I guess I'll have some ass to kiss won't I?"

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Miller watched as the lady on the stairs suddenly jumped and started walking toward the tree line. The lieutenant had just poked his head out the door said they were meeting in 10 minutes and Wong would relieve them. Were the fuck was she going? And God Damm what a fine ass she had. Suddenly Gallant slapped him upside the back of his head.

" Jesus Christ just cause you're 22 son, don't mean you gotta have mommy issues. Haul your tongue back in your drooling" Gallant snarked.

"Shut the fuck up, she's a MILF, fuck, when she pulled a gun on the Lieutenant that was hot as fuck" Miller responded. Gallant rolled his eyes watching as Carol paused at the tree line in front of a flowering bush.

"Is she picking flowers right now?" He said

"Yeah looks like it" Miller smiled sadly "my mom liked those flowers, we had bushes of them in our yard back home"

"What kind of flowers are they?" Gallant asked.

"It's a Cherokee Rose"

AN #2: I am very nervous about this chapter. I hope it seemed in character to you guys. Let me know what you think:)