Chapter 2: Tell Mom

Clark flew into the stratosphere and opened his senses to listen for calls for help. He had only been out of the hospital for a few hours now but he felt fine, or so he thought. As he was concentrating, Clark suddenly began feeling slightly dizzy. After a few minutes the feeling grew worse and he felt as if he might throw up. That's it, no more Superman stuff for tonight. Right now I need to get some rest. Apparently I'm not completely back to normal, and I can't help anyone if I'm throwing up or fainting. I'll go home to Smallville, knowing mom, she's probably still up waiting for me to come home. With his decision made, Clark took off for the farm in Smallville.

A few minutes later, Clark landed in the yard of a picturesque yellow and white farmhouse. He surveyed the area where he had grown up and smiled. Making a mental note to paint the house and barn and fix the fences that were in badly need of some attention come morning, Clark whirled into the clothes he had been wearing at the Planet before New Krypton. It was then that he noticed he had dropped his jacket in the elevator shaft and hoped that no one's found it before he could retrieve it. But that could wait 'til morning; right now he needed to rest. With that thought Clark walked into the house. He had been right, Martha was awake and was looking through an old scrapbook that he knew contained some of the pictures from his early childhood. The minute he came in the door, Martha dropped the book she had been looking through and jumped out of her chair, running to hug her son

"Oh Clark, I knew you'd be here tonight. I was so worried about you. I went to Metropolis but I couldn't get in to see you. Are you alright?" sobbed Martha into her son's chest as he hugged her back. "Let me look at you," she commanded as she inspected him with the critical eye that all mothers possess, looking for any sign that her baby was hurt.

Clark smiled, it was so good to be home, "Mom, mom I'm fine, just a little tired," he said as she continued to inspect him, "Really mom I'm OK. No ill effects. I'm sorry to make you worry but I'm alright. The last couple of days have been a bit hard but it's all OK now." Of course everything's OK now. Life couldn't be better now that I know I have a son and that he and his mother are alright. I just wish I knew where I fit into their lives, Clark thought to himself.

Martha knew him far to well, and could see that he wasn't fully recovered, but more importantly, she could see that there was something in his mind, something that made him happy beyond words but also made him sad beyond belief. Thinking back to when she was in the crowd outside of the hospital and saw Lois, she knew what it was immediately. He must know that Lois's son is his. All that time he had spent in space traveling back to Krypton, looking for some form of connection, and it was here on Earth all along in the womb and later in the arms of the woman he loves. They look just alike too. "Why don't you go to bed, Clark? You need to rest after having just been in the hospital. We'll talk in the morning. I'll make you a big breakfast just the way you like it," she said kissing his cheek. Clark smiled and followed her upstairs going to his old room and going to sleep beneath the constellations of his old home world.

The next morning, Clark awoke nearly before the sun. He normally didn't need much rest and after having rested in his old bed, he felt completely back to normal. He trained his ears to the world to see if anyone needed him at the moment. The world was quiet, exhausted after having held a vigil waiting to see the outcome of his stay in the hospital. It seemed that even the criminals were taking a break after such a long wait since they too had probably been waiting to find out if they still had Superman as an adversary. It was then that a new sound happily reached his ears. Inadvertently, Clark tuned into his son's heartbeat and steady breathing. He was shocked that he could so easily pick his heartbeat out of all the other noises in the world This after having only known the boy for about a week and having known he was his son for only a few hours. Clark listened to the steady beating and breathing, tuning everything else out, except for one other sound Lois' heartbeat. Its tone suggested that she was awake, and he wondered if she had gone to sleep at all. Jason's heartbeat suggested that he was still buried deeply into his dreams.

Clark shook his head in bemusement and got up from his bed just as the first rays of morning sunshine broke across the horizon and dressed himself in the clothes he favored while back home in Smallville; dark blue jeans, plaid shirt over a black t-shirt, and his well worn tennis shoes; all the wile still listening to the heartbeat of the two most important people in his world. Clark went out to the barn and began his chores around the farm, with his many powers they didn't take very long. He fed the animals, stacked up the hay, cleaned the stalls and checked the old tractor all in about 5 minutes. He would leave the painting and the fence fixing for later in the morning. Having taken care of all the chores for the moment, Clark went back in the house just as his mother was coming down the stairs.

"Clark," Martha said, holding a hand to her chest in mock-fright. Clark had startled her, as she believed that she had awoken before him. Clark smiled and went to give her a hug. "Well, somebody's up before even the chickens. I guess you feel better don't you," she said as she inspected him just like she had the day before. Clark smiled at the more that obvious concern.

"Yes, all I really needed was some rest to get back to my normal. I just finished the chores in the barn, but I'll leave the painting and fence fixing for when there's a little more light out."

Martha nodded and headed to the kitchen to start breakfast. However she knew him better than he knew himself. He's dying to tell me something but is not sure if I'll like it. I'd bet he'll gather his courage in about 10 seconds tops, Martha thought as she began to make her son a big breakfast; blue berry pancakes, hash browns, scrambled eggs, and sausage.

Do I tell her now, or wait till later…

10…9…8…

I really could use someone to talk to and mom's always had good advice…

7…6…5…4..

She deserves to know about Jason…

…3……2……1…

"Mom, I need to tell you something…" Clark said to his mother's back. Martha smiled, Ten seconds on the dot, Martha thought as she turned around to face her son, her face neutral. She waited for a few seconds until Clark gathered his thoughts, "Yesterday, when Lois came to see me, she told me something; or at least I think she did. It was when I was still in the coma, when they thought I wasn't gonna make it. I couldn't make out all that she said but what I was able to make out was… I still can't believe it. I couldn't make out all that she said, but what I did make out… what I think helped show me the way back was that she said… Jason… your son… If for nothing else… need to come back for him… That was all I could make out. Then her voice was gone and I felt her kissing me, before I felt, more than heard, her walk away. A minute later I felt the bed shift slightly as if someone small was leaning on the bed and I felt a soft kiss on my forehead, that I'm sure was Jason, before the little weight left the bed and I felt them walk away."

Martha nodded, "I saw her as she was leaving the hospital and I saw the little boy in her arms. I didn't need a DNA test to tell me that was your son. He looks just like you did at his age," Martha handed him the scrapbook she had been looking at last night, and Clark saw a picture of himself when he was maybe 5 or 6. He and Jason looked almost identical. Clark was silent for some time, and Martha knew there was more he wanted to say, but he was having trouble voicing his thoughts. She could also see clear as day the guilt that was eating at his soul. He had gone to Krypton looking for some form of connection, looking for someone else that was like him; and it had been here on Earth all along.

Clark couldn't feel guiltier. He had abandoned Lois while she was pregnant with his baby, taken her memory so she didn't even know how she had gotten pregnant… The list was endless. He felt guilty for Luthor getting out in the first place, for all the people that needed his help and he had not been there to save… and for all he had done to Lois… It took him a few more minutes but he finally bared his soul to his mother while they had breakfast. He told her how he had taken Lois's memory with a kiss to spare her the pain of their inevitable separation… how he had felt when he returned and saw that she and the world had moved on in his absence… He told her everything including what happened on New Krypton and how Luthor had nearly killed him by stabbing him in the back. Martha made him stand up form his chair with that and made him take off his shirt so she could examine him. The stab wound wasn't completely sealed as it had been made by Kryptonite and only time would heal it. Martha immediately went to the cabinet on the far side of the kitchen where she kept the first aid kit and brought it to the table where she began taking out the necessary supplies to clean and bandage his wound. The iodine stung badly when she applied it to the raw cut, but Clark trudged on and allowed his mother to finish bandaging him up.

"You need to take care of that and continue to clean it. It's not completely healed and it looks as though it might have been slightly infected," Martha said to her son, almost accusingly. Clark smiled and nodded knowing that he wouldn't win this particular fight with his mother. Then he smiled wider as he remembered something…

"I went to see Jason after I woke up in the hospital. He's so beautiful mom. He was sound asleep and I just stayed there looking at him. I don't even know how long I stood there just looking at him before I got the courage to walk up and kneel beside his bed. I spoke to him gently and softly so he wouldn't wake up. I said the same words that Jor-El had once spoken to me before he sent me here to Earth. I put my hand on his head and caressed his hair for the first time, wishing to take him into my arms and just hold him, but I knew I couldn't. It's not my place, not yet, besides I didn't want to wake him. He sleeps very soundly, I don't think he felt me touching his head, marveling at the little miracle that Lois and I made. God I wish I had been there when he was born. I missed so much, so much that I can't get back. All his life he's known and called someone else father. And it would probably be better for him to continue to do so. I have so many enemies, and if any of them knew Superman has a son, I hate to think what would happen to him. Lois became a target because everyone suspected we had a relationship, and if anyone found out about him… It's too dangerous, and I don't want to put him in that kind of situation… He woke up just as I was leaving and told me goodnight. That's when Lois saw me, saw that I was alive. I could see so many emotions going through her mind. We said goodbye, and I flew here after checking on the world. I don't know where I fit into their lives but I'm not going to leave them again."

Martha had tears in her eyes when he finished telling her everything, but she didn't let them fall, knowing that her son needed her to be strong right now; he needed help being strong. Martha stood up from her chair and wrapped her arms around her son's shoulders. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Clark stood up and gave her a hug before going outside to finish with his chores, all the while brooding over what he missed. Clark I know you always try to do the right thing, but what the devil is right when your world has been turned upside-down so quickly. You'll find a way, my son, to make things right, Martha thought as she watched Clark lean over the fence thinking. I just hope you remember that you deserve some happiness too…