Chapter 3: Remembrance

Lois awoke early that morning as she had tossed and turned in her bed all night. Her dreams had been haunted by vivid images of her and Superman. As soon as she opened her eyes, her mind was flooded by the memories Clark had locked away almost six years ago…

Niagara Falls… Lois was annoyed that Perry had sent her up here to cover some puff piece with wet-behind-the-ears Clark and at the indignity of having to pretend to be newlyweds! So far from Metropolis, Lois was shocked to see Superman appear, rescuing a child who had fallen backward over the railing into the falls. And Clark, once again, was suspiciously absent. A glimpse of him without his glasses made her suspect that the Man of Steel had been right under her nose the whole time… And to prove it she threw herself into the rapids, expecting to be saved, and got nothing for her trouble but sopping wet. She brushed her wet hair out in front of the 'romantic' fire pit in the center of the honeymoon suite. Clark, clumsy as always, tripped and fell, immersing his hands in the flames. He should have been badly burned, but somehow his hands were miraculously unmarked. Clark turned toward her, resignation in the set of his shoulders, and removed the black frames. She declared her love for him, and he seemed a changed person. No longer human or alien, but something that spoke of both heritages. He brought her to his Fortress of Solitude, and they talked as they ate dinner. In the midst of her wonder, she couldn't help feeling that this was the strangest date she had ever been on, not that she'd really had many boyfriends what with her non-stop drive to be the best reporter in Metropolis…

That night, after changing her clothes into 'something more comfortable, she had watched as he spoke to a surreal triple vision of his Kryptonian mother. Lara tried to dissuade him from the course of action he had chosen to take, but nothing would change Clark's mind. The woman granted Superman a chance to be with his true love, but he would have to give up his superhuman abilities. As the red rays of his home world's sun enveloped him, her only thought was that he had done this thing for her. It was almost more than she could comprehend. They had made love tenderly, passionately, in a large silver bed. He had been tentative, but eager, and it thrilled her to the core. For the first time, she could see that Clark was not as much of a disguise as she had first thought. They were driving back to Metropolis and had stopped at a diner for something to eat. Clark had tried to defend her honor to some low-life trucker and had gotten beat up. He had been shocked at the sight of his own blood, and soon after, they saw the images of a world gone mad with terror because of three Kryptonian invaders. She began to realize that maybe they had been selfish to take Superman away from a world that needed him. He had left her to try to stop them, and she lived in a state of fear that she would never see him alive again. He was as vulnerable as anyone now. But his reappearance in uniform, back to his super powered self, allayed her fears only a little. He had defeated them finally by turning the same process on them that he had used on himself earlier. Powerless, they had been taken care of easily. Later in the Planet, seeing him in his Clark Kent attire, and knowing that the man she loved could truly never be hers because he rightly belonged to the world, she had begun to sob. Why couldn't he be both? She hated herself as she cried, cried for what they could never have… He had kissed her deeply, with a sort of finality. And all the pain, all the questions, had been utterly washed away…

Then she remembered the time when Luthor had created a sun-powered facsimile of Superman to try to bring down the Man of Steel, using his own power against him. That had happened not too long before Luthor had someone publish that fake article that had prompted Clark to leave Earth. She remembered their meeting that day, how he had seemed odd to her, and how he had jumped from her balcony pulling her along for the ride only to have Superman save her, while still wearing Clark's glasses. She had remembered then, and they had shared yet another intimate flight. That time, it had been her that had asked Clark to take away her memory because it just hurt too much that he couldn't be hers. She was already pregnant, had been for at least a month and a half, but neither knew. It was only a week or two later, that Clark resigned from the Daily Planet and left for Krypton…

Clark walked out of Perry's office, as though nothing had happened, even though he had just resigned from his job effective that afternoon. Perry had tried to convince him, even offered Clark a raise and the assistant editor's position that had opened up 3 weeks earlier, but nothing would change Clark's mind. He went to his desk and packed up his personal belongings, but left his little nameplate behind; the one that Jimmy had later put on the desk that was to be his when he heard Clark was coming back. Clark sat at his desk after he finished packing and began to type his last article for the Planet. At one point he looked up to Lois's desk. She was hard at work as usual. Clark couldn't bare the thought of not saying goodbye. He had thought that perhaps it would be best to just leave quietly, but he couldn't do that to Lois; she was too important. By that afternoon, shortly before he had to leave, Clark finally got up the courage to walk up to Lois's desk to say goodbye.

"Say Lois, I needed to talk to you about something," Clark said to try to gain her attention. But to Lois, it was like he hadn't spoken at all. It took a couple of tries, but he had finally managed to get her attention.

"Oh, sorry Clark. Guess I must have been too preoccupied with this. Did you say something?" Lois asked as she finally took notice of him.

"Ye, Yeah, Um, I just wanted to say… that… Umm, well I just wanted to tell you goodbye,"

"Goodbye? Where're you going?"

"Oh, um, I'm taking a little trip abroad. You know, widen my horizon."

"When will you be back?"

"I…I…don't know…"

Lois looked at him for a moment, with such a heartbroken expression on her face that he was about to run into Perry's office and take back his resignation. The moment was fleeting, however, and Lois once again wore her usual face, though she was very sad. "I'll miss you Clark. Promise you'll write to me?" she said as she stood from her chair and gave him a hug.

"Of course," he said as he returned the hug awkwardly. But he knew there would be no letters. Clark and Lois disentangled themselves, and Clark went back to his desk to gather his things and left. Lois never once took her eyes off of him, and unconsciously placed a hand on her belly…

Lois sat on the bed, processing all the memories she had recently rediscovered. If only we'd know I was pregnant at the time he left… None of this would have happened. Lois stood from the bed after several long minutes and went out the door. She walked down the hall to her son's room and entered. Watching him sleep always made here feel better and think clearer. She stood by his bed, watching Jason's little chest rise and fall, still far in the realm of dreams. Tears ran down her face as she watched his little chest rise and fall as she continued to relive her memories of the time after Superman was gone…