Chapter 5: Unhappiness
EJ's POV
I was happy. I am happy. At least that's what I kept on telling myself over and over again as I drank the beer that my friends had given me.
The truth is that I wasn't happy. Pretty far from it actually. I was alone. Completely alone. You wouldn't think that if you saw the circle of friends that I had. I was on the school Football team.i was one of the most popular guys in school. I had a hot girlfriend. I had every reason to be happy. Except I wasn't.
When I was younger I used to love reading, and Science. They were two of my biggest passions other then playing Football. When I made the team I was forced to give up what I loved most. My friends told me that they couldn't have a 'nerd' on the team and if I didn't stop acting all 'nerdy' they'd make me quit the team one way or another.
So I gave up two of the things that I loved most and that hurt a lot. It still hurt because I missed reading good books and I missed reading anything science-related. I missed the days where I was free to really be myself.
Now my weekends were spent partying with my friends and my girlfriend. Joshua was the ringleader when it came to having parties. He'd invite half the school over and there was always booze. Lots and lots of booze and not to mention drugs that were not exactly legal. I always drank and drank heavily at these parties. I drank so much that I'd black out and would not even remember what happened the night before.
The drinking was so bad that I developed a problem. Now I'm drinking almost every single day either at a friend's house or by myself. I craved it and I craved it badly.
The reason that I drank so much? It helped ease the pain. It helped ease the pain of losing my father a few years ago. It helped ease the pain of the loneliness that I felt. It was the only way I felt truly happy.
I had also recently discovered that my girlfriend Anne was pregnant with my baby. I was scared and didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be one of those jerks that just gets his girlfriend pregnant and then dumps her as soon as he finds out. I couldn't do that.
Joshua chose that moment to punch my shoulder and get my attention.
"EJ those strangers are looking at you again"
He pointed to strange Cullen family who were indeed looking at me again. They were strange indeed. I noticed how they kept looking at my sister and I.
Oh my sister. I'd never admit this in a million years to anyone, not even her, but I missed her so much. When I joined the team we drifted further and further apart and that also hurt me. My friends said it was better this way. So I don't have anything to distract me from Football.
It hurt because I felt like Nessie and I were just strangers now. We used to be extremely close and now I feel like I know anything about her. No matter what though she was my sister and I loved her. I just acted like I didn't anymore.
"EJ you okay?" Joshua asked me although I had a feeling that he really didn't care.
"Yes I'm okay" I said.
"Good because we have to plan the next party"
"Yeah you're right" I said. "Let's do it"
The school bell rang awhile later and prevented any further discussion on the matter.
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