Congrats to EmeraldTulip (hey, welcome aboard!), AlienGhostWizard14, and Doomforzombies for answering the question correctly! Wow, you guys are sharp. You remembered! It was Alien Gladiators.
I'm giving Lady Cougar-Trombone some points, too, because even if she didn't remember what the title was, she described in good detail what it was about. Props to you, too!
Okay, before we start, just know that unlike other chapters where the entry is written after the events of the episode, this one is written in the middle. You'll see at which point. :)
Please enjoy!
Episode Tag to: Over the Edge
Chronicle #064
"Ultraviolet"
11/22/15
6:35 AM
This is weird. Usually, when I'm chronicling, I'm either hiding out at some room in the island where no one can see me or I'm sitting at the Quarters when everybody is asleep. Now I'm back in my room here at our home in Mission Creek, writing about everything that has happened in silence. It's been a week, and I thought that by now I would have been at least somewhat used to this, but I'm not. It's so quiet here. It's deafening.
I left the Academy not too long ago, and I don't think I'll ever go back. Too many chances of me messing up again. I don't want to take that risk. That place also just reminds me of all the bad things that had happened, of the terrible thing I've done to one of the people who believed in me the most. I don't know if you've ever gotten the feeling of being in a place where everything felt wrong, like if you stay there, you'd suffocate in your own loneliness and worthlessness, but that's how it was for me, at least after I found out I've actually blinded a person because I was too selfish. There's guilt, too – a crushing weight of it.
Then again, maybe it wasn't the Academy that was wrong. Maybe it was just me being the wrong thing in there.
That's why I had to leave.
My family's been trying to talk to me, but I don't feel up to it yet. I haven't been answering their calls. I know they'd try to get Mom to intermediate between us, so I explained everything to her the night I came back to let her know I really don't want to face them yet. It's not because I'm mad at them. It's just that I'm too humiliated and too angry with myself to see them or talk to them. She tried to get me to reconsider, but after I told her my reasons, she didn't push anymore. She just told me to let her know when I'm ready.
Big D came home a few days ago, and as I expected he tried to get me to change my mind, too. I just told him I wouldn't. Lately, I've been avoiding him. That's easier anyways.
I'd like to think that starting over is not a big problem. The world hasn't fallen apart yet, so that's good, right? There are still a lot of things going on out here for me. Big D's already resolved the graduating high school issue, so I can move forward now and find a good university to attend. Since I missed the fall registration, I'll probably attend winter classes, and that's not too bad. The two universities where I got accepted to had been sending me e-mails, and I've even received calls from them, asking me if I'm still interested in attending, so I definitely have options. I've gone on a tour on one of the schools this week, and I'm going to the other one next week. After that, I just need to decide which one I'll be more interested in before I proceed.
Another good that came from me coming back here is that it's made Mom extremely happy. Sad, too, because of the circumstances, but happy, which is nice. We get to spend more time together again, just like how it was before she and Big D got married. Lately, she's been Mom-ing me, which she seems to really enjoy, and admittedly, at times, I do enjoy it, too, because it's been a while.
But then when it's late at night or early in the morning like this, I realize that thinking that starting over is easy doesn't change the fact that actually starting over is difficult. Almost every minute, I think about the people I left behind and what I've done. I'm always reminded that somewhere out there is a girl who won't see anymore because of me, and with her is that one guy who probably feels very disappointed that the person who he thought so highly of really couldn't live up to anything.
Or he could, actually, to something: being an idiot. Chase said that's all I ever do, and so far he hasn't been wrong.
I miss my friends a lot. I didn't tell them I was leaving, though I guess they had an idea that I wouldn't be sticking around because I told Amaranth the night before I left that we can't be together anymore. I hate that I have to hurt her, but it was necessary. I don't want her to wait for me. I want her to move on to someone better. Hurting a girl I consider to be a really close friend is already a living nightmare, but hurting a girl I love would make life impossible. She needs to be with someone who could protect her and who would be smarter than me. She deserves as much.
I didn't hear anything from the rest of my friends until two nights ago. Miles came to visit, telling Mom that she was an old friend of mine from school. She didn't stay very long. She just told me how her older sister was doing, that she had been training and had been progressing very well. She told me a bit about what's been happening in general at the Academy. Then, she told me that everybody misses me. She didn't ask me to come back, but what she did do was ask me what I wanted to do from that point on. Apparently, the others wanted to come see me, but she said she didn't want me to feel pressured into going back there if that's not what I want. She then told me that she cared about me like I was her little brother, so whatever I requested, she would do.
I told her I don't want to go back anymore and that I want to be alone right now. She said okay, handed me a small card that Era and Miller made, gave me a hug, and then left.
Those two. Maybe that's why I miss them so much. There's only one sentence written on that card, and that's all they needed to make me laugh while also making me feel sad at the same time.
It's not just the two of them that I miss, to be honest. I also think about my other friends, the girl that I still love, the two people who I've hurt because I thought I was something. I think about my siblings, but then again I've accepted a long time ago that they were fine without me and they'll continue being okay without me, so maybe I shouldn't miss them as much. They suffer no loss. They've never needed me.
Storm was wrong about me. I'm not a ticking time bomb that goes off so I can save the people I care about. I'm the kind that goes off and destroys everything around me, no matter who will get hurt. But I'm not too surprised. After all, that's just the nature of almost anything invisible, isn't it? Sometimes, they're the ones who cause the most irreparable damage.
Signed,
Leo Francis Dooley
11/22/15
8:59 AM
The Adam Chronicles
I'm debating whether there should be a second tag to this episode, one that's written after everything that's happened happens. Thoughts?
One hour episode, two part question: (1)Leo and Taylor's combined laser spheres create what?, and (2)what's the name of the bridge that semi-collapsed? Reviews, answers, and comments about that last development at the end of the episode are very much welcome!