Chapter III The Cullens
Dear Carlisle and Esme,
By now you have heard of my death.
Do not blame yourselves or Edward. Don't. It is not his or your fault I loved as deeply as I did. It is not his fault that I was just not right for him. He has to do what is best for himself.
When Edward and all of you left, my heart was ripped out. My soul and my family left me.
Carlisle although I had a father you were just as much a father to me as my own and I love you. I love you for your goodness against all odds I love you for your strength and your good heart. I always felt loved in your company thank you. I love you.
Esme, I had a mother but she and I were more friends than anything and I was more responsible than her since I was 8. I never knew I wanted a true mother daughter relationship until I met you. You are the best mother I or anyone could have wished for. So warm and nurturing. Thank you Esme for letting me experience it. I love you Mom.
It hurt that you left and abandoned me but Edward said that Vampire minds are easily distracted.
Please just remember me once in a while.
I also wrote a letter to all of you please believe it.
I love you. Your daughter in spirit.
Bella
PS: Don't blame Alice either, I keep changing my mind so she does not know. I don't even know yet how I'll go.
Dear Alice and Jasper,
By now you have heard of my death. Firstly Jasper quit guilting yourself. It is not your fault. If it was anyone's it was mine for being so clumsy.
You probably blame Edward. Don't. It is not his fault I loved as deeply as I did. It is not his fault was just not right for him. He has to do what is best for himself.
I am just so lost in darkness. And there is a gaping hole where my heart used to be. I am nothing but a shell, I can only barely remember my name. So deep is my pain. I want to leave this world remembering my name, remembering something other than pain. I want to leave this world still knowing who I am because each day I lose my self a little more.
You Alice were my sister through and through. I love you. You are exactly the sister I would have asked for if I could choose. Don't blame yourself for not seeing it coming and preventing my suicide. It was not easy. I figured Edward probably asked you not to look. And as a compromise you would only look for life threatening stuff. So even as I write this letter I have not yet decided how I will die.
Jasper you are my brother. I love you. You were the silent and emotional supportive brother I wished I had had. You all are my family. Please take care of Alice she is going to be a bit sad about my death. Cheer her up so that she can be the hyperactive vampire we all know and love.
I wrote a letter to all of you read it after this and take it to heart.
Goodbye I love you both.
Your sister in spirit.
Bella
Dear Rosalie and Emmet,
You probably blame Edward. Don't. It is not his fault I loved as deeply as I did. It is not his fault was just not right for him. He has to do what is best for himself.
Rosalie you might not have an opinion one way or another but know this. I love you. You were my sister. Even If you never liked me. I admired you greatly for your beauty and spirit. For your protectiveness of your family. I know without a doubt you would have done anything to protect them from any harm or danger. Never lose that Rose. I admire and love you for that. Continue protecting and loveing this family I once felt part of.
Oh Emmet. What can I say to you other than I love you. You were the big brother I always Imagined when I wished for siblings. You never let me get to serious. And I know you would have jumped into any danger to protect your lil'sis. I loved being your little sister. I love your for making me feel a part of the family so much. Help them. They will need your natural cheeryness for a little bit. Until all your minds are sufficently distracted again.
I love you both.
Your sister in spirit
Bella