So-o-o-o, here I am, again. Enjoy!
Chapter 34
Best Care Anywhere.
I just got to the outskirts of the camp before I saw the sign perched on top of two precariously held together poles. And I got the best idea of the day. The claim needed some tweaking, some fine tuning and the hand of a Mastermind and it could be perfect. Perfection was my other middle name! But it had to wait. I smiled. This idea lifted the fog off my mind that seemed to turn everything into a mass of depressing gray.
I silently wondered about the blazing guns awaiting for my reception. The worst they could do was play it down. Not gonna happen. But I could not put it past Col. Potter. He knew just as well as I did that when all else failed, that look of disappointment really got to me. I hoped he did not use that on me tonight. The sudden idea that struck me on my way in helped lift my mood like nothing in last few days did. I could not do what needed to be done if he acted all hurt and despondent.
I was not disappointed.
How about going to him myself and present myself as the culprit.
I parked the jeep right in front of his office and got off. Everybody was indoors. It was very cold so close to mountains.
"Hello Radar!"
"Hawkeye! You are back. Crimeny's sake. Where did you go? Boy you had us worried. I mean in this snow and all. Boy you scared us. Everybody was so worried, you know. It was like... BJ was so mad at you. And Col. Potter. You know, sometimes you really... Boy! I had been calling all outposts and I-Corps! We were worried something happened to you." He said with the concern only he could show for me. Especially after the way I treated him earlier. And then, in a stage whisper, "Col. Potter says he will court martial you and then hang you from the yardstick...uhhh, something yard, like on ships or something. But he was bluffing. I know when he is bluffing."
"Radar, I missed you too." I smiled and pinched his cheeks. That drive did something for me. It was like nothing had happened. Life was back to the normal state of chaos and abnormality.
"Eek! Hawkeye, stop horsin' around, will you. Jeez, eeeek, you had hepatitis. Yikes, now I will get it too. Aw Hawkeye! You are really something, you know." With that he stomped his feet before telling someone in post-op to tell Margaret, Father Mulcahy and BJ to come to Col.'s office.
"Are you finished with Pierce, Radar?" Came the booming voice from the inner office. Radar looked slightly unsettled. I made the sign of slaughter on my neck before entering Col. Potter's office.
"Yo! Dad, I am home."
"Keep your YOs to yourself. RADAR! Call Major Houlihan, Hunnicut and Padre to my office. Now!"
" Are you throwing me a welcoming party? Homecoming Party? I am tired. Can we do that tomorrow?"
I settled myself on one of the farthest chairs, hoping others would try and save my hide from the angry Col. What are friends for, right?
As I later found out, either this notion was wrong or they were not my friends.
"Feeling funny now, huh. I could give you the Royal welcome myself but they requested to be part of it so I obliged them."
"I know they love me but you take the cake!"
"Yeah. They do love you. I am thinking of putting you in the clink for a few months before telling them to send you back here, or if luck beholds, in some administrative position! What were you trying to do?"
"Why? Did you go out for a midnight stroll yourself before they put you in charge of 4077?"
"I may have committed some grave sins or God wouldn't have put me in charge of ... I have seen some pieces of work in my time but...Come on in. Meet the cowboy." Restrained anger. That was not necessarily a good thing.
Suddenly, I heard loud shrieking, a soft, restrained Father and a groaning BJ. Nothing made sense as they crowded me and talked all at the same time. I tried to look at Col. Potter but he was obscured by them. No wonder he did not mind my sitting in the corner.
Just as suddenly they started talking, they stopped as well.
The last thing I heard was a silently spoken 'The prodigal son returneth' from father.
"Finished?" I said as I glanced at Col. Potter. He just gave me a grin before changing his expressions to neutral again.
"Hrmphhhhhhh." That was the eloquent major. She moved towards the Colonel's desk, sitting to my side before springing up again.
"What happened to you?" She literally shrieked in my ear as her hands grabbed my head.
"When?" I asked. She started probing my head.
"He went crazy. I am amazed how you still fail to see that. You don't have to see his cracked head to see he is cracked!" Piped in BJ.
" I know THAT. Did you fall down?" The inquiry continued with the probing.
"Ye... OW." I got my head out of her hands. Remembering the damned fall, I realized I must have hit something and Margaret had picked on some smudge or graze.
"Did that happen before or after you went crazy?" Asked BJ while Father Mulcahy kept looking at me in silent fury. Or was it concern.
"I am not crazy." They all stared at me as if forcing me to come clean about my insanity.
"Try again." That was BJ. Col. Potter was watching this display quietly.
" Alright! I went a little crazy. We all do. So?"
"Do you have any idea how crazy you have been acting lately?" Would BJ stop with me and my craziness?
" Yes Hawkeye. My word, I was so worried when I found you earlier. And then you just fleeted. Do you have any idea..." Not you too, Father!
"Listen guys! Hold your...OW. Will you leave my head alone?"
"There's a bad gash here. Blood is clotted. And there is some dirt in it."
"Margaret, I will check it out after we are done with him." Spoke BJ, without much feeling.
"Done with me? What is that..." Col. cut me off.
"Let Burns handle it." Spoke Col. Potter.
They all snickered and the mood lightened suddenly.
"I won't let him near me!"
"Yes you will. That's your punishment. And my order!"
"Yeah. Not a bad idea." That was Margaret. And I thought she cared.
"Col. Don't you think it is a little too extreme, putting him under Frank's supervision? I mean I am all for punishing him...Stop looking at me like that. Do you have even the remotest idea what you did? And how it affected us? Affected me? Col.! Frank is a little too much, even for him." And with that, he shot me an angry glance but I saw his lips twitching. And I smiled myself.
"I will make it a democracy. Padre's vote will decide. And stop smiling, Pierce. Or I will veto your protectors and do as I see appropriate." Even Col. Potter was having fun.
"I don't need any medical help. And it seems that all of you have finally run out of things to yell so I shall retire. My bed beckons." With that, I started getting up but Col. Potter cut me off.
"Pierce. I need to talk to you. Padre and Major, you can leave. Hunnicut, you stay!" His tone marked the end of fun time.
" Just in case my vote still holds any weight, I think I should take care of his wound. But Major Burns is the next best choice. Goodnight Col., BJ. Hawkeye!" And with that he left the office.
"I will see if mess tent has something reasonable to eat. And we are not finished, Pierce!" With that, Margaret left as well.
Now there were only BJ and Col. Potter left.
"What time is it?" I had no idea what time it was but Margaret's rollers and Padre's robe meant it was a little late in the night.
"Almost eleven. So, what was this all about? " Col. Potter responded.
"That's a little late then expected. And you tell me. You were the writer and director of this act."
"Pierce!" The admonishing tone. But I was not sure what he meant by 'this'.
"Colonel. I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Hunnicut, take a look at the gash on his head. I am talking about the way you are behaving in general. And around me in particular. Were you bucking for a section eight?"
"Hold your head steady!" BJ told me curtly.
"Around you? Ow! And isn't section eight Klinger's fiefdom?"
"Repeating after me won't get you anywhere. How bad is it, Hunnicut?"
"Its a small gash. Nothing big but he will need a few stitches. Some dirt in it. Needs some cleaning up and maybe a tetanus shot." He sat down across me.
"I don't feel anything till someone rakes it with his thick fingers." I shot a poisonous glance at BJ before continuing, "I did not do anything around you . In fact, I tried to do as you told me but Frank just cannot leave me alone. I honestly tried." And I smiled inwardly at the little idea I had that switched my mood from glum to outright good.
"I noticed. The reason I asked Hunnicut to stay concerned you both. Camp follows your lead. Last few weeks, you two have been less than cordial to each other. I am not into prying so I left it to you both to figure out but when my camp starts getting affected, I have reason to worry. Pierce told me your problem was of a personal nature so I will not ask about it. But you, Hawkeye, you told me a little and then phone call this afternoon."
"Yeah. Ummmm, I am working on that."
"By leaving the camp?" BJ retorted.
"Beej, don't!"
"He does not know?" Col. Potter asked me.
"He does. As much as you do." I saw BJ's expressions change from slight anger to hurt. This was ridiculous.
"That means he knows squat. Care to fill us in?"
"You can tell Col. I can leave if you want me to." That was juvenile and idiotic but I guess I had hurt him by not talking to him. Why it hurt him was beyond me.
"Wait Beej! OK, here's the thing. My father met a woman. A war widow. They both hit it off. He waited for my approval. He never got it. And he ended the relationship."
"You told him to do that?" Angry BJ was scary BJ. I heard some menace in his tone.
"What? Are you crazy? I told him to stop waiting for my approval and to have fun. He never got the letter."
"Oh!" Comprehension dawned on both their faces.
"So that's what was bothering you?"
"You should have seen him earlier when he yelled at..."
"Radar, yeah. I heard that. I was in the post-op."
" If you want to keep talking about him, he can leave!" I asked them both.
"Just a few minutes more." Right then, Igor entered with a tray full of mess debauchery. I quietly accepted it to avoid any further argument.
"OK. So is that all?" Col. asked me.
"Is that all? He asks me 'is that all'." I looked at Potter incredulously and theatrically. Too bad they knew my playbook back to front.
"Hawk, stop being a drama queen. You know what he means."
Meanwhile, Potter poured himself and BJ a stiff drink each.
"I came across some footage from Col. Blake's time. Pierce sure has a flair for drama."
We both looked at him quizzically.
"Drama? Me?" I realized what he meant by 'footage'. It was the infamous documentary we made for Gen. Clayton.
"Your burlesque routine is not new to me, son. Now back to the sixty four dollar question. Besides your father, is there anything else?"
"Not really, no. Just that, being isolated and away from work has ruined whatever good feelings I did have for the war."
"Hunnicut, you have any problem with that?" Problem with what?
"No sir."
"Alright Pierce. I am moving you back to Swamp. I have checked the latest research on Hepatitis. The time you needed to be isolated was before you got jaundice. Now, it is only adding to my problems. And besides, after your excursions last couple of days, I doubt if anyone in the camp is left unexposed anyway."
So they had discussed me earlier, in my absence. I felt gratitude for both Beej and the Col. If it were not for them, I may have gone half-crazy after Trapper left. And Henry died.
"Thank you, Col." I felt genuinely relieved. BJ was quiet. I decided to talk to him a little later.
"Now one last thing, the reason why I made Hunnicut stay. You boys need someone to lean on from time to time. Just be there when the other needs you. And don't be a stubborn mule when it comes to leaning yourself. War is a bad business. If not for the camp, just for each other, act like grown ups! Dismissed."
What a day!
We both stepped out and turned in opposite directions.
"Hey Hawk! Where do you think you are going."
"To VIP tent. To get my things. Where are you going?"
"You and me, we both, are going to suture room."
"Cummon Beej. Relax. It was just a small fall. I don't even feel anything."
"Hawk!"
" FINE Mother!"
And with that, we both started marching towards the suture room.