High School Reunion

Chapter 8

The vow of love

Why did things have to be so complicated? This man had confessed his feelings for Lisanna, then changed it to say that he loved her then went right back to Lisanna. He had used her and abused her and then kicked her to the curb as if she meant nothing. And now he stood here and claimed that he missed her? What was she supposed to think?

It was all so confusing, but she couldn't deny the flutter of her aching heart when he said that. Everything that she had ever felt for this man came rushing back to her. It's been ten years, ten long years since the last time she had seen him and she couldn't believe that she could still feel like this. Shouldn't these feelings have passed by now? She thought that coming here and facing him would make moving on a lot easier, but it seems to have done the opposite.

How could she move on when her feelings were still so strong? It didn't help that he hadn't changed. He still looked as he did in high school except he seemed taller. Even under his perfectly tailored suit, you could see the muscles that sculpted his body since youth. His rosie pink hair just as messy as she remembered. Everything seemed the same, no signs of aging at all. Unless you look into his eyes.

That's where the truth lies. His eyes were no longer warm and full of happiness. They were now hardened and steeled. Cold even. As if he lost everything that was important to him. Only his eyes reveal just how hard the years have been on him and that same look was reflected in hers.

"Lucy, I never meant to hurt you." Her eyes widened slightly. He never meant to hurt me? The words rang through her head, but she couldn't believe them. How could he possibly mean that? She couldn't fathom the idea that he didn't know what he was doing, that he didn't know that she was going to get hurt.

"You never meant to hurt me? Ha, that's a good one." Her laughter caught Natsu by surprise. Even she didn't understand why she was laughing. Maybe with all the pressure, she finally snapped. It wouldn't surprise her at all. Natsu adjusted his tie nervously as he looked at her. "Then what was your intention?"

Natsu lowered his eyes, no longer able to meet the deep brown ones of the girl in front of him. He didn't have any intentions that night. He didn't go there planning for that to happen but it didn't make it any less his fault. He knew that.

"Was I just some notch in your belt? Another girl to add to the list of many?" She scoffed and crossed her arms. Just thinking about it ticked her off yet hurt far worse. She didn't understand herself at the moment. She never expected herself to be so mad at him.

"Of course not! I never thought of you like that! Besides, you were my first as well." His last words were low, almost too low for her to hear but she managed. She didn't realize that she was his first. The way he moved, touched and kissed made it seem the opposite. As if he knew well exactly what to do.

"So I was just someone to get your own experience from. Someone to test yourself out on before you moved onto the next. Before you went to Lisanna." She laced the girls name with venom. She wasn't intending for it to come out like that. She didn't blame Lisanna, this wasn't her fault. It was all Natsu's fault, Natsu's and hers.

"I would never use you like that!"

"Then what would you call what you did?" Natsu opened his mouth as if to say something but no words came out. Nothing he could say would change what happened. He knew, but he still wanted her to know how he truly felt. And how he still feels. He knows that he doesn't deserve her or her forgiveness but he still wants her to understand what really happened.

"Lucy." Natsu lowered his head, missing the sound of her name as it rolled of his tongue. It has been a long, long time since they spoke. He remembered after the incident, he tried several times to talk to her at school when she finally came back after weeks of absence. But once he started to pressure her she stopped coming once more. And each time she came back, she looked worse than the last time.

"I know that it might seem unbelievable. You were hurt severely because of me. I could never make it up to you, I know that. I don't deserve your forgiveness, I really don't but I just ask that you listen to me. That's all I want."

"I'm listening." Lucy's voice was firm and she crossed her arms over her large chest. It was just getting colder out but she ignored it.

"Do you remember when I confessed to you that I was in love with Lisanna?" He paused and waited for Lucy to answer but all she did was raise a brow. He knew what that meant so he continued. "I wasn't being honest."

"What do you mean?" Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she looked at him.

"I only said that to see how you would react. When you acted like it meant nothing to you I thought that meant you didn't love me." Lucy's eyes widened at his words. "I gave it some time, and waited to see if there was any hint that you might like me. After some time, I lost hope of ever having you. So I gave in and asked Lisanna out. That was the night before the party, and she said yes. I didn't know that something like that would happen the next day or I would have never asked her."

Lucy stood there, speechless. So he didn't sleep with her then get with Lisanna? He cheated on Lisanna with her. But why didn't he say something? And if he truly cared for her then why didn't he straighten this out and just leave Lisanna?

"That night, we were both drunk, or at least I almost was. I wasn't thinking straight and when we got to your apartment, I had forgotten about what happened the day before. All I saw was you. I never intended it to go that far let alone hurt you but when I woke up, I realized what I had done and panicked. But I loved you, not her."

"Then why didn't you explain what happened to her and me? Why didn't you leave her if you loved me."

"I had already hurt you by then, and I knew that if I broke up with Lisanna then she would be the same and I didn't want to hurt either of you but since I had already done it to you, I didn't want to hurt anyone else. So I stayed with her in order to avoid her getting hurt and in the process, hurting myself to repent for what I did to you."

"If you never loved her, didn't you ever realize that she would end up hurt anyway? A relationship can not last if the feelings are not mutual." At her own words, Lucy realized something. This is exactly what she has been doing with Sting. The feelings are not mutual yet she stayed with him, not wanting to hurt him and hoping that maybe one day the feelings would grow. But it doesn't happen like that. She has been wasting Stings time and love for her own selfish reasons.

"At the time, I did not. Two years after graduation, she broke up with me. She said that she couldn't be in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. In one that she wasn't loved no matter how much I acted like I was. I treated her well, but it wasn't enough. She wanted someone to love her and I wasn't the one for that. I was still to in love with you., and she knew this. She cried when she left but did it with a smile and she wished me luck."

Lucy's heart went out to Lisanna, knowing that it must have hurt to realize something like that. But she hopes the girls is happy now. It's been eight years and she was just as beautiful as before, so Lucy could imagine that she wouldn't have any trouble.

"Lucy, I still love you and I know that I could never make it up to you but I want to try. You may not love me anymore but I wont give up." Lucy's eyes widened once more at his vow. He still loved her, he always loved her yet she never knew. She never realized it. And it hasn't only been her that's been hurt through out this whole thing. She was hurting as well as Natsu and Lisanna. And their friends watched as they all went through a downward spiral, but she took it the worst.

"I love you so much and I vow to have you love me back once again!"