Don't take that sinner from me
Chapter 2: Grimmauld Place
A/N: I own nothing except my mistakes. Also, Qoheleth kindly pointed out to me that it's Aut cor aut mors instead of cor aut mors, so I'll be using that from now on in my chapters! Just thought I'd give you a little heads up. Anyway, please let me know what your opinion is on this story, I'm fine with everything, even criticism, as long as it's constructive.
Hermione hadn't been thrilled when she was awoken by an over-energetic Ginny. For starters, it was weekend. She deserved the rest she had earned after an entire week of constant hard work. On top of that, she hadn't been able to sleep at all. Her mind had taken the better of her and it wasn't until at least an hour ago that she was finally carried into her dreams. But the reason she had dreaded it the most, was because she knew what would come when she did get out of bed. And she wasn't ready for it.
Yet, here she sat, nine in the morning in the Great Hall, nibbing on a piece of toast she wasn't hungry for. Forced to consume something by her friends, even urged on by her headmaster as he had entered the Great Hall himself for his breakfast.
To her relief, however, she hadn't seen her betrothed all morning. Hermione let out a humorless laugh, betrothed. She was only seventeen and already engaged – and to no one other than her own teacher as well.
Her friends accepted her need of solitude at the moment, yet that didn't mean they didn't try to distract her with jokes. Yet, as they were hitting the ten hour mark, their jokes started to falter and even they started to get nervous.
When they still had five minutes to spare, they retreated from the Great Hall and silently walked up to the third floor, stopping once again at the gargoyle's and this time, Hermione spoke the password with more confidence.
After a knock on the door and Dumbledore telling them they could come in, they entered the office once more and were pleasantly surprised to see professor McGonagall there as well. Not that they didn't expect her to be there by the meeting. After all, she was part of the Order of the Phoenix, and their Head of House, but they hadn't expect her to travel with them.
"Are you doing alright, Miss Granger? You're exceptionally quiet." Professor McGonagall noted and Hermione looked at the woman. "Am I supposed to be?" She hadn't meant to sound rude, but she had no nicer way of answering that question.
Professor McGonagall nodded understandingly, and didn't hold the girl's attitude against her.
"Well then, if we're all ready to leave, I suggest we won't keep the others waiting any longer." Dumbledore said and a few mutters of agreement were heard. "We'll be going by floo, so if you could all follow me to the fireplace, please." They walked behind Dumbledore and stopped when they reached his fireplace.
Professor McGonagall went first and the Weasley's followed shortly behind. Harry took his turn until only Dumbledore and Hermione were left. "Miss Granger, I have to ask once more. You've been able to give it a good thought over night, so I would like to know if you still stand by your decision." Hermione swallowed nervously, knowing that she still had the choice now to back out. But she knew that wasn't right, for so many reasons. And so she nodded, "Yes, I still do." Dumbledore smiled and stretched his arm out to the fireplace. "Well, after you then."
Hermione took some floo powder and stepped into the fireplace. Taking one, deep breath, she clearly enunciated her desired destination and embraced the sickening jolt and happily released the breath she hadn't realize she was holding when she arrived.
She wasn't prepared for what she was thrown into. She had been so concerned about everything else that she momentarily forgot how close the Black's fireplace was to the couches in the drawing room.
One couch on her left, was filled with Harry, Ron, Ginny and Kingsley. The couch on her right, was filled with Sirius, Remus, Tonks and Mad-Eye Moody. Molly had seated herself on a chair that stood a little behind the left couch, and Snape stood a respective distance away from the right couch. At the front of each couch, sat a Weasley twin. George on the left and Fred on the right.
All eyes were on her as she felt the green glow from another arrival, and hurriedly she got out of the fireplace, scurrying over to the only empty place in the circle where they had gathered. Standing in the middle of the back of the two couches, facing the fireplace, with Snape on her left, she waited tensely for Dumbledore to step out of the fireplace.
Focusing her eyes solemnly on her headmaster, she refused to look at anyone else. She didn't want to see their sympathy, their disgust or their anger.
"Thank you all for coming." Dumbledore said as he dusted off his robes. "As you have all been informed of this unfortunate situation, we'd like to discuss some most important matters before we will be unable to do so." Hermione remembered yesterday's story that they weren't supposed to talk about their relationship to anyone other than direct family. And seeing as neither Snape's nor Hermione's family would be qualified to talk to, they indeed only had one last week to discuss the utmost important issues.
Professor McGonagall suddenly emerged from the kitchen and quietly stopped a little behind Hermione, giving her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder as to show her she was there to support her. And Hermione couldn't have been more grateful for that.
The room was eerily quiet, yet a great tension hung in the air. And Hermione had no doubt there had been a fight shortly before they had arrived.
"Hermione," Dumbledore addressed her and she shook herself out of her thoughts. "you shall be taking a new role as Voldemort's spy." A couple of growls spread through the room, yet no one dared to speak a word.
"I have all faith that you will be able to succeed, however, you most certainly do need some training. Seeing how Professor Snape will soon be able to help you with this-" Hermione visible shuddered slightly as she had another realization that'd she be spending more time with her Potions Master than she ever would have liked. "- we find it more important now to discuss what you shall and shall not be passing on to the Dark Lord. As well as discussing your safety whilst doing so."
"But I thought you said that you-know-who had granted her safety if she agreed to spy on Harry?" Sirius spat at Snape accusingly and Snape's lips turned into a snarl. "For your information, it is the dark lord we are talking about." The man drawled. "You'll only come so far with his word. One wrong move, and he will not hesitate to strike." Snape spoke carefully in his low voice.
Sirius growled, "Sirius." Moody warned dangerously and Harry's godfather was silenced.
"What is most important, is that you discuss any matter with your betrothed before you attend a meeting that has been arranged by the Dark Lord. Severus will tell you what to tell and what not." The dark wizard spoke and Hermione turned her gaze to Kingsley and nodded in understanding.
"Won't he know I'm lying?" Hermione asked and various nods were given in the room. "Yes, and that's exactly what you'll be working on with professor Snape as soon as you're married. Working on your Occlumency." Dumbledore informed her and Hermione nodded slowly, taking a quick glance at the man beside her. "Won't I be facing him before I've mastered the skill, though?" Hermione asked, facing Dumbledore again.
"The Dark Lord shall not ask for you for at least a week after our.. wedding." Snape spoke softly, his voice carried through the room and Hermione coughed uncomfortably at the last two words. "Did he say that?" Hermione asked, now looking at the man next to her, needing some assurance. Snape gave a curt nod, "However, to ensure your loyalty to him, there.. are some things that will have to be done." He carefully said, clearly uncertain as how to address this.
A commotion erupted the moment the words left his mouth. Clearly, they hadn't been informed of this piece of information yet. The only ones who remained calm were Dumbledore, Snape and Hermione. She had seen it coming – that she would have to become one of them to prove herself. However, it did not mean it didn't hit her like a brick.
Dumbledore silenced the enraged crowd, "If everyone could calm down, please. This is a matter to be discussed at a later time." Dumbfounded stares were thrown at the headmaster, "At a later time? Albus, how can you possibly remain so calm?" Professor McGonagall exclaimed from behind Hermione. "It was to be seen coming."
Hermione had a burning question to ask, and the subtle phrasing had rather left her as the words spilled out of her mouth. "I didn't think Voldemort accepted Mudbloods into his tea gathering."
"Don't ever use that term again, Miss Granger." Snape's voice was dangerously low and Hermione looked to her left in surprise, not expecting the sudden outburst from a Death Eater himself. When it became clear he wasn't going to explain himself any further, her eyes slowly glided away from the black haired man to the grey man that was now speaking. "Yes, you might indeed be a Muggleborn, Miss Granger. However, even Voldemort cannot deny how useful you can be as Harry's best friend. It would be because of that reason that he would perhaps make an exception for his tea gathering rules." Dumbledore said, a little amused as he quoted Hermione's words.
"Now that we covered the first part, I'd like to continue with the second part. I have already briefly filled each one of you in on your position," Dumbledore began and nodded at the Order members. "so, I think it is best if Remus briefly explains to Miss Granger here, to whom she might go when in need of help herself."
Remus nodded and turned to look at his former student with a sad smile. "Outside safety precautions have already been taken, so no need to worry about that, Hermione." He started and Hermione nodded, figuring it wasn't important for her to know what those precautions involved. "However, if there might come a time when you search help yourself, I'd like you to go to your future husband for starters." Hermione grimaced at that and shot a brief glance at Snape, whose expression was blank as always, yet, she hinted some discomfort.
"If you fail to reach him, however," Remus continued, "then I'd say that heading off to the Headmaster or Professor McGonagall will be your best choice. Avoid any of your friends, if you please. Because only the people of the Order shall be able to react quickly to your cry for help. No offence to you, guys." Remus quickly added as he addressed Harry, Ron and Ginny. "None taken." Ginny replied.
"And what if I am unable to reach any of you?" Hermione wondered aloud. "If that might so happen, I suggest you send a Patronus out to anyone from the Order. I assume you have been taught the Patronus charm last year at Dumbledore's army?" Remus inquired and Hermione nodded hesitantly, glancing at Harry.
"It's the only spell Hermione has trouble with." Harry informed Remus and Remus nodded thoughtfully. "I suggest we work on that today, then. It is crucial you get it right, and even more important that you learn how to add a message to it."
"Why don't we get started now, then, Remus?" Dumbledore suggested and Hermione started to feel rather insecure, having to start practicing in front of an entire group, when she was miserable at the performance. "No worries, Miss Granger, I'm sure you'll be fine." Remus said, changing the atmosphere by using formalities.
Remus stood up and Professor McGonagall stepped a little to her right as to give Hermione some place to practice. "Expecting that you hadn't fully mastered the spell yet, I've been searching all over Britain last night for a boggart, and at last, I found one this morning in a poor old lady's trashcan. I hope she won't be missing this one." Remus said when he waved his wand and a trashcan appeared in the room in front of the fireplace where Dumbledore had stood before.
Despite of the situation, Hermione let out a chuckle as she realized that Remus had been looking through trashcans in search of a boggart. Remus moved to the back and was now roaming somewhere behind Hermione. "For starters, I want to repeat one of our classes in your third year. Can you remember what incantation we practiced that day, Miss Granger?"
Hermione tried to ignore all the staring eyes as she focused on Remus and the boggart only. "Yes sir, it was a Riddikulus charm." Remus moved as so he now stood beside her. "Indeed. I would like to start out with that to see how well you control your fear." Hermione nodded and took out her wand from beneath her sweater.
"Wands at the ready." Remus instructed and Hermione did as told, lifting her wand up as she concentrated hard on the trashcan in front of her. With an unintelligible mutter from beside her, the trashcan opened, and out of it stepped a replica of Professor McGonagall.
Hermione heard an exclaim from beside her from the real Professor McGonagall, and some laughter between the twins and her friends, but she decided to ignore it. The fake Professor McGonagall looked stern as she dusted off her clothes and held a clipboard with papers clutched to her chest.
A voice that was identical to the real Professor on her right, spoke: "Miss Granger, I am highly disappointed in you." The replica held up one of the papers that held the grades from her exams, showing a big fat T on all her subjects. Meaning she had miserably failed all of them by achieving a Troll for each one.
"On the count of three." Remus's voice made Hermione jump slightly as she was reminded that it wasn't real. Yet, the unmistakable fear bottled in her throat. "One," Remus started and Hermione took a deep breath, "Two," Giving herself a quick mental encouragement, she waited for the last count. "Three."
Looking bravely at the boggart, she pushed herself passed the fear that rushed through her veins, refusing to let it control her. "Riddikulus." A clear and strong voice spoke, unsuspected and surprising herself.
The replica McGonagall started to smile soothingly as the grades turned from a Troll to an Outstanding and the professor congratulated her on her amazing work. Letting out a breath of relief, she watched the fake professor McGonagall retreat into the trashcan by Remus's help and waited in silence as she once again avoided everyone's eyes.
"Well, that was most certainly interesting, Miss Granger. I hope to never deliver that news to you." Professor McGonagall said in surprised amusement. Hermione laughed sheepishly, "Yes.. I hope so too, Professor."
"Very well done, Herm-Miss Granger!" Remus quickly corrected himself, earning him some chuckles from the group. "You have exceptionally improved in controlling your fears over these past few years." Hermione let out a dry laugh, "I've been able to practice." Tension rose in the air once more as everyone knew what she was referring to: the endless confrontations with the Dark Lord.
"Sorry." She mumbled lowly and mentally scowled herself for saying all the wrong things today.
"Moving on with the class, I'd like to start without the boggart, first. So we can practice it when you have your complete concentration." Hermione nodded in approval and needed little guidance in what to do next. She started thinking deeply on what made her happy, trying all sorts of memories. Most of them involved her parents, but the Patronuses turned out weak – becoming nothing more than a mist of light. After a while, Hermione sighed loudly in frustration.
"Why don't you try some other memories, perhaps from later on?" Remus suggested as she had told them what she had been thinking of. Hermione nodded in agreement and tried once again, but failed to succeed.
And then it hit her. "Professor?" Hermione asked Remus, feeling a bit odd to use formalities with him after three years. "Yes?" Remus curiously asked. "Is it possible for me to concentrate on a feeling instead of a memory?" Remus considered this for a few seconds and then nodded, "I suppose as long as it is happy and powerful enough."
Hermione nodded and took a deep breath, feeling rather confident that this might work. "Expecto Patronum." Hermione said, her voice confident. A weird sensation was felt in her wand arm as she felt the Patronus leaving her wand. And upon seeing it, she immediately knew why.
Her Otter from last year, had replaced itself by a Tiger, who was tantalizingly walking around Hermione's body. Everyone seemed to stare in awe at the elegance of the moving animal, but Hermione started to feel uneasy and needed an answer as to why it had changed.
So, the second she spoke, the tiger disappeared into a light mist of blue around her: "This isn't right. My Patronus is supposed to be an otter." Dumbledore seemed rather excited and intrigued by this, and after some thought, he spoke to Professor Snape. "Severus, if you could please cast a Patronus."
The Potions Master looked at the headmaster as if he had lost his mind, but upon second thought, he swiftly cast a Patronus without needing to say the incantation out loud. By the look of surprise on his face, she doubted that his Patronus was supposed to be a Lion, that was sneaking around him, as if hunting his prey. He too, dropped the spell he casted and the lion disappeared.
"I see." Dumbledore muttered, more to himself than anyone else. "Interesting, very interesting." He continued to mumble and then raised his voice a bit as he spoke to the others: "It seems the Aut cor aut mors charm has meddled with your patronuses."
A sunken expression fell on the Potions Master's face, and she noticed he wasn't happy with that at all. Whatever his Patronus must have been, he appeared to have been very fond of it.
"A tiger and a lion, what is that supposed to mean?" Molly asked, unable to help her curiosity.
"The lion is a symbol of self-control, strength, nobility. Lion people are well known for their pride, protectiveness and peacefulness unless challenged otherwise. They are very well tactical, well aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, able to judge a situation and act to their best advantage through wit and skill." Dumbledore explained and strangely enough, Hermione could see those characteristics in her Potions Master. Although, she wasn't as sure about the protectiveness, but then again, not everything could fit someone, could it?
"The tiger stands for independence, strength and beauty. Tiger people are well known for their confidence, ferocity, passion and their sensuality. The tiger is a symbol of power, physical strength and indulgence." Dumbledore continued and silence fell once more.
"What do these two have to do with each other?" Tonks asked, speaking for the first time and Dumbledore smiled. "Everything, my dear."
"Anyway," Dumbledore said as he shot a glance at the clock hanging on one of the walls. Hermione was surprised to see that three hours had already surpassed after all their talking and practicing. "We better finish the last task at hand before we run out of time." Dumbledore said and waved the trashcan away, making it move out of the room.
"I'll be taking it from here on, thank you, Remus, for your help." Dumbledore said with a warm smile and Remus returned it, placing himself back on the couch. "I have taught each person in this room how to include a message in their Patronus, and I shall therefore be the one to teach you as well, Miss Granger." Hermione nodded and listened attentively to what Dumbledore instructed her.
It wasn't so much adding the message to the Patronus that she had difficulty with, for that happened just fine. It was more of a trouble to actually cast the Patronus, especially when they tried it under pressure of the boggart.
However, after a hard working hour, Dumbledore had seemed satisfied enough and told her to practice some more in the future on.
"For now, this meeting shall end." Dumbledore announced when the clock showed that it was a little past two o'clock in the afternoon. "Ginny, Molly, Tonks and Minerva, I'm sure you won't mind assisting Miss Granger with some shopping, do you all?" None of the girls refused and Hermione scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. "Sir? What do you mean, shopping? What for?"
"Your wedding of course." Dumbledore smiled mischievously and Hermione loudly groaned, having forgotten about all the preparations that were needed to be done.