Hi guys what's up. I'm sure I had something important to state this chapter but I forgot what it is. Personally this is the chapter i've enjoyed writing most so far. Hopefully all you guys enjoy it too.
Naruto had to be very, very careful with this next prank. It was time to fulfill the dream. Do what none other had ever done before. He was going to prank Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto. The head captain and founder of the Gotei thirteen. An unmovable and unstoppable force. Naruto had found out all those years ago that the only way to beat Yamamoto was to acknowledge that. You can't stop him so don't try. You can't move him so don't try. Although Naruto was glad he could claim at least eight of the hundred scars that littered the old man's body as being inflicted by him, he could never actually claim to have the ability to defeat the old man, he could outlast him, and at least inflict minor injuries. Well he might be able to do more if he released, but best not too. His release was not best suited for… well anything really.
Naruto eyed his target warily from a distance. Yamamoto alone has the ability to sense him if he gets to close. He had no idea how. He snuffed out his own reiatsu signature so completely he shouldn't register on anything, but Yamamoto could tell when he was there. Which was why he had to be very careful. He couldn't prank Yamamoto directly. It had to be done from a distance. Something that had to be triggered. It wouldn't be enough to just paint the old man's house while he was away, oh no. Anyone could do that. But he wanted to prank the old man directly. Something he could tell future generations of Uzumaki's, if he ever sired any… if he could actually sire any… with pride.
As far as Naruto was concerned there was only one way to go. He had to attack the old man's hair. He wasn't just going to dye the beard a different colour. That wouldn't be enough. He was better than that. The old man was deserving of so much more than something so simple. But he had to plan this out. He had to make the old man immobile. It just had to be a second, where he can get close. Naruto grinned to himself. He could do this. He had a plan, and he was going to make it work. He was Naruto Uzumaki, the prankster god of Huecco Mundo. And he was going to prank the head captain of the soul society, the strongest shinigami in existence. Believe it!"
"Face forward."
"Advance."
"Don't give an Inch."
"Retreat and you will age."
"Be afraid and you will die."
"Shout… my name!"
"ZANGETSU!"
An enormous explosion of spiritual power exploded from Ichigo. Urahara Kisuke simply stood and weathered it, but Tessai took the two kids to take shelter behind a rock, keeping them safe from the sand and dust that was whipping around them. Rukia had stayed though, choosing to weather the storm, although she had to hold her arms in front of her face and had been blown back a few feet.
When it finally settled, Ichigo was visible once more. Only gone was his broken Zanpakuto. In his hand now was a giant blade, with no hilt, and wrappings around the handle. The edge of the blade was silver and the rest was a dark grey, almost black. Ichigo stood, transfixed with his new blade.
"Excellent," cried Urahara happily. "You've unlocked your shikai and it looks like quite a unique one."
"Sorry Mr Urahara," said Ichigo. He sounded like he was struggling with something. "You'll evade it as best as you can right?"
Urahara frowned. He didn't like the sound of that.
"What?"
Ichigo raised his sword above his head.
"I probably… can't restrain it."
Ichigo swung the sword down.
Urahara eyes instantly widened.
"Scream Benihime," he yelled, holding his sword in front of him pointing to the ground. A red shield appeared in front of him, just in time to hold back a massive wave of blue energy that had appeared when Ichigo swung his blade. The power of the attack was enormous. Much more than Ichigo should be capable of. The attack tore through the ground without slowing down and slammed into the shield. The attack pretty much parted around the shield, but Urahara knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. His shield was beginning to crack. Another instant and the edge of his shield broke down, allowing a bit of the attack to break through the shield. Urahara moved his head to the side allowing him to survive unharmed. His hat wasn't so lucky. The attack finally died down, to reveal a cracked broken shield and an unharmed Urahara.
"If it wasn't for my shield I probably would have lost an arm," he muttered walking over to where his shredded hat lay. "Boy oh boy, you've killed my hat."
His face didn't show it but he was actually crying on the inside. He loved that hat. He'd have to get a new one.
"Well," he said looking behind him at the giant chasm that had been made by Ichigo's attack. "You passed lesson three."
There was something wrong. Yamomoto could feel it. As he walked the hallway towards the captains meeting. He was going to get the damage report for everything that had happened to soul society so far. Only a day had passed, and he already had shinigami down in the sewers fixing the plumbing. But now he was getting a bad feeling as he hobbled down the hallway. He knew something he didn't like was about to happen. And he was right when Naruto appeared before him, and he could feel the presence of another behind him.
"I'm here to end this Grandpa. A thousand years of dreaming ends today?"
Yamamoto raised an eyebrow. Despite his choice of words Naruto didn't sound like he was here to kill him.
"Naruto Uzumaki, you are under arrest," the old man said, as he slowly drew Ryujin Jakka. "Come quietly Naruto. I confess I have no desire to unnecessarily injure you."
Naruto grinned at him.
"Well that's great and all Grandpa, but the time has come. After today, I will be considered a true legend."
Naruto raised his hands and put them together, his fingers making a cross. A second later there were ten clones behind him blocking off the hall. He heard a poof of smoke behind him and figured that the one behind him had done the same thing.
"Alright Grandpa, prepare yourself!"
Naruto shot forward, his arm prepared to swing. Yamamoto swung his blade at a speed even Naruto could barely see. He abandoned his attack to dodge, and got in close to the old man, only he held a hand out. There was a bright flash as a ball of fire seemed to consume the Naruto in front of him. The boy through a black ball just before he was consumed. Yamamoto simply caught it although it exploded into his hand. It simply left some black paint there. But before he could ponder it, Naruto appeared above Yamamoto's head, a ball of blue energy in hand.
"Rasengan!"
Yamamoto didn't even bother looking up as he stabbed his Zanpakuto upwards through Naruto's abdomen. He knew it was a clone.
"Is this all you can do Naruto? You were a bigger challenge before."
If he'd bothered to look up he would have seen the grin on Naruto's face.
"Gottcha!"
Suddenly the clone exploded, showering Yamamoto with… glue.
Yamamoto shielded his eyes as he felt the substance splatter all around his head. He had not known that Naruto could create his clones using other substances.
Suddenly three more Naruto's were surrounding him, all poised to strike. He didn't have time to think, so Yamamoto swung his sword, bifurcating the lot of them. Only they too exploded in a shower of feathers. Yamamoto now realised what this was. Naruto was pranking him. He didn't know whether to feel furious or amused. He didn't really know what to do to stop Naruto though. He was boxed into the hall and destroying the clones was proving to not be a very good idea.
Another Naruto appeared in front of him ready to strike. Rather than destroying it the old man dodged, planning his next move.
"I'll burn them all away," he muttered, before raising his sword. "Reduce all crea-."
Before he could finish, a grinning Naruto appeared and simply exploded. There were Naruto's beside him stopping him from moving. This was a very well thought out plan Yamamoto had to admit. But flooding the cramped corridor with clones he had severely limited Yamamoto's options. As the head captain, he had to set an example, and that meant not destroying the entire hallway just to make the fight easier. There was nowhere he could run from Naruto's clones and destroying those only made things worse. Curiously, nothing happened when this clone exploded though. Or at least not at first. A moment later, something shot through the smoke and splattered against Yamamoto's beard. It was a sort of green paint. The smoke was a distraction, but he had no idea why the paint had to be delivered in this way. Yamamoto decided enough was enough. He ran to the side, destroying the clones in seconds and doing his best to avoid the consequences. Feathers and glue and paints of several colours were covering the hallways. The clones would occasionally land hits of their own, the smoke clouding his vision. This battle was utter anarchy. He felt Naruto slam onto his head, and then disappear, and another one simply exploded into water against his chest. Finally he broke through the clones, turned around and shot a blast of blue fire down the hall destroying the rest of them.
"Hey Grandpa, over here."
Yamamoto turned around to see Naruto at the end of the corridor waving at him. Yamamoto gave a grunt before giving chase. Naruto moved quickly but he was just as quick. Naruto disappeared behind a door, and Yamamoto followed, only to come face to face with all his captains. They were all standing in the meeting hall.
"Capture Naruto at once," he yelled as soon as he saw them. But the blond was nowhere to be seen. He stretched his senses and found that he couldn't feel the hollow anymore. He was out of range. He turned back to his captains to see they were all staring at him. Ah of course he was covered in feathers. But it shouldn't be that funny. Although it felt like something fuzzy was on his head.
It started small. Shunsui was trying to stifle a giggle, and failing miserably. Ukitake seemed to be laughing and coughing at the same time. Aizen simply had his eyes widened in surprise. Kaname and Komamura had no visible reaction. Kurotsuchi was simply standing there in silence as if he was witnessing something he simply could not comprehend. Byakuya seemed to be struggling to keep his face straight. Kenpachi's face had stretched into one of the biggest grins he'd ever seen. Unohana was giggling to herself, and Soi-Fon was trying to stop the corners of her lips from twitching. But it was the reaction of Gin Ichimaru that truly concerned him. The man simply broke out into laughter.
"Gah, ha, ha, ha! Oh God, I can't stop laughing. Ah, I can't breathe. Oh my god that's hilarious. Gah, ha, ha, ha!"
Soon the captain had actually fell to his knees and was banging his fist on the floor, his eyes open for once as tears poured down from them and onto the floor.
"Captain Ichimaru, I hardly think a few feathers are worthy of such a reaction," said Yamamoto while frowning.
"Actually head captain, it's more than a few feathers."
Unohana stepped forward and held out a somewhat large handheld mirror. She held it at a distance so he could fully see himself.
Yamamoto actually allowed his mouth to hang open. When the hell did all that happen.
The feathers covered him far more extensively than he thought, but that wasn't all. The green paint semed to have somehow spread through his entire beard and dyed it lime green.
'The clone that burst into water' Yamamoto realised. It had blown up against his chest and forced the paint to spread, dyeing his entire beard.
The next thing was that his eyes were covered in black stuff, almost making him look like he had panda eyes.
'The black paint,' he thought. 'He forced me to cover my eyes after I caught the paint to shield them form the glue.'
The final thing was a big green afro which now sat on top of his head.
'The first glue clone covered my head in glue,' he realised. 'Then a clone managed to get it on in the confusion. The glues dry now, it's been glued to my head.'
Yamamoto was not happy. He was angry. No he was furious. No he was more than that. He was boiling with rage.
"I don't care how you do it, I want Naruto caught," Yamamoto raged. "And I want it done today."
He had reverted Ryujin Jakka into a staff and slammed it against the ground once. Then he turned and left, determined to get as much of this stuff of him as possible.
Once he left the captains were in silence, except for Ichimaru who was wheezing on the floor, apparently having almost laughed himself to death.
Eventually the silence was broken.
"We never gave our report," said a frowning Byakuya.
Naruto was currently shaking the hand of a little girl while thanking her for the paints she'd given him.
"Aww, that's okay whiskers. Hey did you get a picture? I want to show Kenny and I can have it published in the WA magazine," said the little girl cheerfully. Naruto stopped shaking her hand and nodded.
"Of course I did mini Haruno. Here you go," said Naruto handing over a photo he'd managed to take rather secretly of the Head Captain once he'd finished with his makeover.
"Thanks Whiskers," said Yachiru Kusajishi. Then she frowned. "Hey why do you call me mini Haruno?"
Naruto grinned at her.
"Why do you call me whiskers?"
"Because you have whiskers!" she cried happily.
Naruto nodded."Yes and you like just like a mini Sakura Haruno. Hence you are mini Haruno."
Yachiru just shrugged.
"Thanks for the picture whiskers. And come and fight Kenny again sometime. He said he really enjoyed your last fight."
Naruto gave her a big smile and a thumbs up.
"Sure think mini Haruno. See you around."
And then he was gone, leaving Yachiru to find her own way back, something that would most likely take hours."
"Hey Rukia, how you doing," asked Ichigo as he came into the room. He was wiping his face off with a towel, his new Zanpakuto strapped to his back. Ichigo had been training hard for the last three days. If she had to guess he was already around fourth seat level in terms of power. It was impressive to say the least. She smiled up at him.
"I'm just fine Ichigo. Although I'm still confused why I can't just get my powers back. I'd be able to help you train that way."
Ichigo just shrugged. "Urahara said this way is better. I don't like it either. You're a target like this, and as long as that's the case you can't go back home either."
Rukia raised her eyebrow at him.
"Oh you want me gone Ichigo?" she asked him. "Do you think I'm a burden?"
Ichigo actually managed to sputter as he answered.
"What? No that's not it. But Urahara wants you to live a mortal life and dye all over again. You'll be trapped here for years, away from your family and friends. I just thought that might be difficult for you."
Rukia smirked at him.
"Don't worry about something like that Ichigo. Eighty years will fly by quickly for me. Although Urahara said it most likely won't come to that. And as for home, it hasn't really been home to me in a while."
She didn't explain to him what she meant but Ichigo didn't need to think too much. From what he saw her relationship with her brother seemed rather strange. And from what he could gather that other guy was a friend of hers, but once again their interactions seemed awkward. That was more than just because he was trying to arrest her. If he had to guess they hadn't saw each other in a while and there was something unresolved between them. Hey he can be fairly perceptive when he wanted to be.
He looked at Rukia. She had her hair down, and her bangs were covering her eyes. He sat down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. She flinched but she didn't move away.
"You don't have to worry, because I'll protect you," he said solemnly. "Until you can stand in front of your brother again I'll help you."
Rukia didn't respond immediately, but Ichigo saw a single tear streak down her face.
"I won't thank you, you know," she whispered to him.
Ichigo smiled at her.
"I don't expect you too midget" he answered.
She mumbled something.
"What?" asked Ichigo?
"I said I'm not a midget. You're just too tall."
Urahara watched the two from the hallway with a smirk on his face.
"Okay I'm putting five hundred yen down saying those two are getting together."
Yoruichi popped up onto his shoulder.
"I dunno. Orihime seems quite set on that guy, and her chest is nothing to sneeze at."
"There's more to it that just chest size you know," Urahara answered sagely Yoruichi just snorted.
"Like you're one to talk."
Urahara closed his fan. "Well I suppose you're right."
"Are you sure this will work?" asked Shunsui Kyoraku from inside a bush. He really didn't want to be here. It wasn't so much the bush he was uncomfortable with, it was the man next to him. Mayuri Kurotsuchi was simply staring ahead of him into the clearing. "
"Yes, I am quite sure. I am very confident in my analysis of the subject," answered the clown faced man.
The bush was next to a clearing, and they weren't the only captains here. Soi-Fon, was hidden expertly up a tree, and Gin Ichimaru had insisted on helping as-well, saying he found the Hollow they were hunting Hilarious, and he wanted in on anything involving him. The man was in a different bush.
In the middle of the clearing were five bowels of Ramen, each with steam wafting off in different directions.
"I designed those ramen with the smile in particular in mind. They can be smelt from miles away. Now shush something is happening."
Shunsui was going to point out that it was Kurotsuchi who was doing most of the talking, but decided to simply be quiet and wait instead.
To the left of them a bush had started rustling and soon a familiar mop of blond hair appeared atop the bush. Naruto Uzumaki had arrived. He stared in awe at the sight of the five bowels of Ramen sitting in the middle of a clearing.
"Ramen, here?" he whispered. "Who would dare waste such a delicious thing?"
He cautiously approached the Ramen.
"What if it's a trap? But no one would possibly be so evil as to use Ramen for a trap."
He sat down next to the bowel and reached out a hand for the chop sticks. Kurotsuchi smirked. He'd packed enough tranquiliser into that bowel of ramen to put Kenpachi to sleep, and that as saying something. But as Naruto reached for the chop sticks something happened.
"Hey you, back away from the Ramen."
The captains looked to the other side of the clearing to see another Naruto standing there at pointing at the first Naruto in a serious fashion. The first Naruto snorted.
"I was here first, go and find your own Ramen."
With that said, he picked up the chopsticks and was about to dig in when there was a sudden yell.
"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"
The first Naruto was just about able to scrabble back as a third Naruto shot into the clearing, his kick missing by centimetres.
The new Naruto growled and turned around to face the third one.
"Back away man, that's my Ramen."
Meanwhile in the trees and bushes the three captains were flabbergasted. Obviously Naruto had created clones to help him with his pranks. And now those clones were fighting over the Ramen. The fact that anyone could be this stupid was actually too much for Shunsui to handle, who let out a snort. He quickly clasped his hand over his mouth, hoping that Naruto hadn't heard. Luckily it seemed the copies too concerned about the Ramen to notice him.
"How about you back away from the ramen!" shouted a fourth Naruto as he dropped down out of nowhere.
"Oh I got a better Idea," said the Fifth Naruto who had come out from behind a tree. "All five of us have a free for all. Last one left gets the Ramen."
All the Naruto's stopped to think about it before nodding their heads.
"Uh let's do this!" shouted one of the Naruto's. The captains had long forgotten which was which. And with that the copies launched into battle, punching and kicking each other. Soi-Fon actually found herself in awe as the clones battled each other. Although the reason for fighting was as stupid as the clones themselves, their moves were fluid and performed with a practice ease. Their faints and manoeuvres were executed perfectly, their timing was down perfect and their physical capabilities were impressive as well. It was impossible to keep track of all of them, and it was proving difficult to keep track of one. She could definitely see the potential of this in combat. It wasn't that the opponent would be overwhelmed by numerous opponents. It's that they would be locked down, with nowhere to go. A continuous assault that could come from anywhere, every attack perfectly timed and near impossible to dodge. Sheer power as the only way she could think of to get out of it. But the clones were equal in strength and the fight, though very impressive, was going nowhere. Not a single clone had been dispelled so far. But she couldn't join in. Even if these clones dispelled in a single hit, she didn't think she'd escape unharmed and most likely it wouldn't serve any higher purpose to defeat these clones anyway.
She was interrupted from her thoughts when one of the clones formed one of those blue balls and launched himself at his target. His opponent dodged, and the blue ball ploughed into the ground, right in the middle of the assembly of Ramen.
The clones all seemed to realise what happened and as one seemed to freeze absolutely still. Once the dust settled the last clone came back into view. He too had frozen, with upturned bowls of ramen littering the area around him.
The captains were surprised when the area was suddenly flooded with killing intent. They watched in a chocked silence as the clones pupils seemed to dilate, and small black bags formed under their eyes. Their hair seemed to grow spikier and wilder and their capes seemed to begin moving in a non-existent breeze. The changed were barely noticeable but they were there.
"That bastard destroyed the Ramen," one of the clones muttered. "We should kill him."
Another clone snorted. "Kill him. No we should rip him apart then force a Rasengan straight down his ass."
Some of the other clones nodded.
"He-hey, wait a second guys, it was an accident, you know."
The Naruto's just growled.
"You killed the Ramen. That's like blasphemy." Said one of the Naruto's.
"It's worse than blasphemy, its murder," said another.
"Blasphemous murderers don't deserve our sympathy," said another Naruto.
"And now," said the final Naruto. "You can apologize to the Ramen… IN HELL!"
And with that all of the Naruto's charged, and before the still normal Naruto could react he took a blow directly to his face. A second later, he crashed into the bush that Shunsui and Kurotsuchi was hiding in before dispelling. The two captains were knocked out of the bush and spotted by the four Naruto's.
"Hey, who are you."
"It's Uncle Shunsui."
"Hi Naruto," he said a little nervously.
"He smells like the Ramen," said one of the Naruto's.
"You mean they have more?"
"Maybe it was his Ramen."
"You mean Uncle Shunsui abandoned the Ramen?"
The four Naruto's turned to glare at Shunsui.
Shunsui, seeing the look in their eyes, gulped.
"Now hang on Naruto. Let's talk about this."
Yamamoto stood in front of the thirteen captains, finally ready to hear their reports. He'd managed to get rid of the feathers and the afro but there was still a light green tinge to his beard. He also noted with curiosity that Captain Shunsui was sporting a black eye and Captain Kurotsuchi was covered in dirt. Captain Soi-Fon seemed to be heavily favouring her left leg and Captain Ichimaru was trying to stifle a giggle every time he looked at one of them.
"This meeting starts now. I want you to share reports on the damages caused by the hollow Naruto Uzumaki done to each division. Captain Soi-Fon will start."
Soi-Fon stepped forward.
"Sir, the entirety of the Onmitsukido have had their uniforms and clothes replaced by green spandex suits. The heater has been set on full and cannot be changed, along with the tatami warmers, making the second division too warm for most members to spend a large amount of time in. The hot spring has been flooded as well. The training room has been filled with a form of powder that causes the clothes of anyone who enters to deteriorate. Also my office desk and chair has been glued to the ceiling, and our weapons supply of kunai has been replaced with rubber ducks."
Soi-Fon stepped backwards, her cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. Yamamoto nodded to her then turned to Gin before nodding his head for him to report.
"Well he seems to have written the words 'cheer up' on the walls. I think it has something to do with motto of our division. I think he kind of has a point actually. I've never got why our division has something as depressing as its motto. Well he's painted everything yellow and painted rainbows everywhere. Also he's placed various traps around the division to give everyone a good laugh. My Lieutenant Kira is currently in the fourth division with a bucket stuck on his head. My personal favourite so far has been-,"
"Enough," barked Yamamoto. "You are done. Captain Unohana report."
Gin stepped backwards with a pout and Unohana stepped forwards.
"Damage to the fourth division in general has been minimal. That being said several of my officers have somehow found themselves in clown suits or stuck in compromising positions. On many of the walls of the fourth divison the words 'laughter is the best medicine' has been written. All things said that is everything that has been done to my division. However other tasks which are usually seen to by the fourth division have been compromised. Pink and yellow dye has been placed in laundrettes, causing much of the laundry to become… unsavoury. Several toilets have also blown up, and as the fourth division is responsible for the plumbing we can confirm the reason for this is that someone, Naruto Uzumaki being the most likely suspect, has filled the pipes with copies of the ninth division's magazine that never got released yesterday."
Unohana bowed her head and stepped back, showing she was done. The fifth captain Aizen Sosuke stepped forward.
"A large portion of my division found glasses in their rooms similar to my own. For reasons I can't explain, many of them, my Lieutenant included, decided to put these glasses on. The glasses are now stuck and it turns out you cannot see through them from the inside for some reason, leaving half of my division members blind. Also there's a large hole in my floor with a pot in it, filled with tomatoes. I am unsure if there is any significant reason for this."
Aizen stepped backwards and Byakuya stepped forwards.
"The Kuchiki family manor has been painted orange, both inside and outside, and the Kuchiki elder's undergarments have been hanged from the roof and windows. Other than that my paperwork has been pinned to the walls of the division and…."
Byakuya suddenly looked uncomfortable and stopped speaking. Yamomoto noticed this.
"Captain Byakuya, report!" the captain said gruffly.
Byakuya schooled his features and continued.
"Inflated pictures of my sister have been stuck up on my office walls, and inappropriate material featuring illicit relations between siblings in general has been placed randomly throughout the division with my name written inside of the book."
There was silence for a few seconds. And then, once again Gin broke down laughing. He'd been dying to do it for ages but he'd managed to restrain himself.
"Ohhh, Oh my god I love this kid," he managed to wheeze out between giggles. Yamamoto sent a glare at the man, but Gin didn't seem to notice.
"Moving on, Division seven report."
Komamura stepped forward.
"Damage to the division was minimal. We do however now have a large gathering of foxes within the division courtyard and the words 'see they're cute, there's nothing to be ashamed of', written on the walls."
Komamura stepped backwards.
Shunsui stepped forwards.
"My cute surrogate nephew left me some brand new Sake, which I shared with the rest of my division. It turned out though that he had mixed some laxative with the sake and those of us who had some spent most of today lined up outside the public toilet trying not to soil out breaches."
Aizen asked a question. "Why do you say we? Your seated officers should have their own bathroom?" asked Captain Aizen.
"Ahh yes. Well it was the eighth division who had their toilets blown up. Anyway other than that my dear sweet Nanao is rather upset that her books have been replaced with a series of mature novels called the Icha Icha series. I've never heard of them before but I must say I am rather enamoured with them," said Shunsui happily.
Yamamoto growled but Shunsui retook his place and Kaname stepped forwards.
"The ninth division has had its printing section commandeered. The magazines that were supposed to be distributed have disappeared although I think we now know where they have gone. A different spread was created featuring Naruto Uzumaki as the main topic. It also discussed several secrets held by several captains. I decided the magazine was far too inappropriate to be allowed to spread, although my Lieutenant said it was a journalistic goldmine if the secrets discussed were true. Other than that one of the rooms has had the electricity cut and heavy binds set in, allowing no light through. Several of my members Zanpakuto have been taken and placed in this room along with several non-fatal traps. The words 'Welcome to Kaname Land' have also been written outside the room."
Tosen stepped backwards and Hitsuguya stepped forwards.
"Several hundred false documents have been added to the tenth division's paperwork. Several photos of my lieutenant taking impropriate poses have been spread around the division. My Lieutenant does not seem unhappy about this. I've also found several packs of Diapers in my office, several children's books and a music box that plays a lullaby," said Hitsuguya with a tick mark on his head. He's also left behind several Disney DVD's and a recommendation that in all seriousness I should watch Lion King because it's awesome apparently."
Hitsuguya stepped back and allowed Kenpachi to step forward.
"He replaced all our wooden swords with rubber chickens. And the little shit painted my division pink. He's left messages promoting peace throughout the division, and ones that discourage violence. And Yumichika's hair got dyed the same green as your beard but I think that one might have been Yachiru."
Kenoachi stepped backwards and Mayuri stepped forwards. He was silent for a few seconds. And then he started screaming.
"That little shit released all my test subjects! And he seems to have used some sensitive pieces of equipment to determine how to enhance the flavour of Ramen. He's also managed to break every other piece of equipment I have. And he lost me so much research Data! He's even destroyed the backups. He's cost my division decades of work. It'll take me years to compile all that data again. I will kill that little shit the next time I see him. And how dare he drag me under the ground and throw apples at my head."
"Captain Kurotsuchi, if you are done with your report then step back."
Kurotsuchi stopped talking and allowed his mouth to gape open. Without another word he stepped back, and Ukitake stepped forwards.
"The only damage done to the thirteenth division are numerous posters of Rukia Kuchiki and a four feet list of why her decided fate is wrong. There is also a rather prominent paragraph about a strawberry who will kick the ass of anyone who tries to hurt her."
Ukitake smiled and took a step back.
Yamamoto nodded.
"Insufferable music has been introduced into the first division although most of it has been removed. An object called Whoopi cushions have been placed under many of our chairs. Other news is that the Senzaikyu has been filled with large stocks of Ramen and the message, 'I know it would be my choice for my last meal.' The walls of the Sereitei have been covered in information about Rukia Kuchiki's sentence, which has caused a minor upheaval. And slanderous messages regarding the Central forty-six has appeared in several of the inner districts."
There were a few more mutterings between the captains as they discussed the information. As well as causing a boatload of trouble it would seem he was intent on letting everyone know just how bollocks Rukia's supposed execution was.
"If Naruto's not captured soon, there might be a minor uprising. His capture is your top priority. Go back to your divisions, collaborate with each other and work together. His pranks may seem harmless, but our lack of ability to capture him is making us look weak and the Central forty-six are becoming restless. This needs to be resolved and swiftly!"
Yamamoto slammed his cane, pretty much signalling the end of the meeting. He turned around and hobbled off. But as soon as he was out of sight he let out a sigh.
"Where did this all go wrong," he whispered to himself. And then he hobbled his way back to his division.
Okay then. For the record I have had near 400 different peopel vote on my poll. Yet less than 300 reviews. I know this might make me seem like a bit of a prat, but do you guys think you could review then vote? I was hoping to reach 300 with the last chapter because then it would average out at 50 reviews a chapter.
Okay I'm not putting up current poll results because they haven't really changed. So for now, that's me over and out.