Lucy Heartfilia sat at her desk, pen in hand as she stared down at the blank paper in front of her. Chocolate eyes wandered across the desk, landing on the silver frame that held the picture of her mother within it. She couldn't help but wonder what her mother would say about the current situation that the blond has found herself in.
Would she tell Lucy to open her heart once more to the man that broke it once already? Or would she tell her to give Gray a chance? Before Gray's confession, Lucy never once considered him as anything more than a good friend. The possibility of them becoming more or even the fact that he liked her was surprising to say the least. It was one of the last things she had expected. But that only made her situation that much harder and more confusing.
Lucy is well aware of just how great a man Gray is. He's handsome, smart, kind and caring. He's strong and funny, charming and well mannered. She had never noticed anything that she didn't like about the man, other than his stripping habits, of course. But, as he aged, it seemed that even that has improved. It appears that the only time he truly gets the urges to strip is when he's particularly nervous or upset. Lucy could clearly remember the way he tugged at his collar during his confession.
All of this confusion, all the thoughts swirling around in her head made it extremely difficult to think properly, let alone have the inspiration to write. She had fallen behind on the novel that she was in the middle of writing. The only good thing about this is that her publisher wasn't expecting another novel until next year, so she had time to finish. It was just hitting her own set deadline that was bugging her.
What's worse about this situation is the fact that everything seemed to remind her of Natsu. How could this one man have such a strong grip on her, even to this day? It's been so long yet her feelings are just as strong as they were ten years ago. It's seems that all she did was push her feelings for the pinkette back. Hide them deep down in her heart and seeing him once more only brought them back to the surface.
Raising her hand, Lucy brushed her bangs from her face, her long golden locks pulled back into a messy bun. Currently dressed in sweats and t-shirt, she was rather comfortable which is how she liked to be when attempting to write. She didn't like having distractions. The only other thing she liked to have while writing is a bit of music. It would always play softly in the background something without lyrics that way she wouldn't focus on the words they were singing.
The type of music she'd listen would vary depending on what she was writing. Right now, she was currently listening to Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven. This version of the piano Sonata No. 14 has a calming effect yet it's something that she loves to listen to when in deep thought. It's soft and soothing notes always finds a way to sooth the soul and make her feel at ease. Yet, even though it's such a lovely piece, there's something almost saddening about it. Like something beneath the music that can be felt deeply within the heart.
Sighing, Lucy placed the pen down on top of the paper and leaned back in the chair. Her brown eyes stared up at the ceiling as she let the music work it's magic on her. At times like these, Lucy really wished that there was someone she could talk to that wouldn't immediately tell her to give Natsu a chance. Someone who didn't know either of the boys and could look at things from a different point of view. But alas, she had no one like that. She only had herself to rely on for something like this.
Then again, she felt that she needed to stop being so reliant on others. This was her problem, not theirs, so she'd have to figure this out on her own. But the idea of picking either of the two was hard for her. Deep down in her heart, she did truly want to give Natsu another try. Even if it were simply for the love that she still holds for that man. Her head, on the other hand, is telling her otherwise. Her head only brings forth her fears of being hurt once again. And when she thinks of Gray, her heart aches as she thinks about all these years he went without once announcing his feelings. Holding himself back for so long, simply because he was friends with Natsu.
Lucy could only imagine just how painful that was and in a way, she also wants to give him a chance as well. Who knows how things might turn out between her and the dark haired man. But she was worried that even one chance would give him false hope, make him believe that things will end well between when she herself wasn't certain of what the outcome would be. Although, she had a feeling it wouldn't end well for him. No matter how much she loved Gray, she wasn't in love with him and that was the same problem she had had with Sting. She doesn't want another loveless relationship. She wouldn't be able to handle that.
Brown eyes drifted closed as the music rolled over her in soothing waves of peace and tranquility. Her breathing slowed and evened out, almost like she had fallen asleep. Though, in reality, she had merely fallen into a trance-like state. The words of her friends found their way to the front of her mind, hearing them clearly as if they were standing right next to her and repeating them. All their words of assurance and encouragement. Each saying about just how much Natsu has changed, but if he's truly changed so much, then doesn't that mean that he is no longer the man that she had originally fell in love with?
Just how much had truly changed with him? Would it be too much for her? Is he even anything like the Natsu she once knew? In the back of her mind, she knew that the only way to answer these questions would be to see for herself by actually giving Natsu the chance that he asks for so much. To see exactly who he now is. And the same thing applies to her and Gray. If she wants to know if there could be anything between them, then she'd actually have to give the man a try first and in a way, that seemed fair to her.
Gray had waiting for so very long for her. Held in his feelings, never letting it slip or show how much he cared. He was there for her through that tough time in high school. He would sit there and rub her back, dry her tears and do all that he could to make her feel better as she cried over his best friend who she was madly in love with. She could only imagine just how much that must have truly hurt him. How much pain she must have put him through, even if she never knew about it.
These thoughts would then carry to the point of how she never spotted it. How she never once saw it in his eyes, or why he would always be the one standing beside her when things got rough, at least, more than any of the others. How could she have been so blind? She claims to care about the man, yet she was completely oblivious to his feelings for all those years. And of course, being the type of man Gray is, he never once blamed her. All he did was think of her.
He never proclaimed his love for her for her sake. He never came clean or even hinted towards how he felt for her sake alone. And that only made her feel like shit for the simple fact that she never once considered him in that way. It only proved just how selfish she could truly be.
Lucy raised a slippered foot to the leg of the desk, pushing lightly to lean back in the chair and rock slightly with the music. At this point, she had figured out what she was going to do. For the most part at least. Now it's the part where she actually did it that was the hardest. She'd have to call both of them, Gray would probably be much easier than the call to Natsu.
A loud ringing sound pierced through the calm and quiet, effectively startling the blond. Her body jumped slightly at the noise causing her foot push on the leg of the desk more than needed. Her brown eyes widened as she felt the back of the chair tumbling towards the floor. He hands flung out in an attempt to grip the desk to prevent herself from falling but all she managed to grasp was air. Within a matter of seconds, the blond found herself sprawled out on the floor, groaning slightly at the pain the just shot up through her back.
After the initial shock wore off, Lucy realized that it was her phone ringing and scrambled to her feet, quickly picking up the torturous device to see Gray's name light up the screen. Well, speak of the stripper. A tiny smile crawled it's way onto her lips at her own joke as she breathlessly answered the call. "Hello?"
"Lucy?" Came the husky voice of her long time close friend. It's funny to think that all throughout high school Juvia had been right. All those times she had accused Lucy of being her love rival, and all those times that Lucy assured the blunette that she was wrong, turned out to be true. Apparently Juvia was able to see something that Lucy never was. That train a thought caused another pang of guilt to form within her chest as she thought of the blunette that had loved Gray for so very long.
"Hey, Gray." Lucy greeted, attempting her best at hiding the nervousness that was beginning to rise within her. Her free hand rubbed at the bottom of her back where she was certain to begin to bruise soon enough. "How are you?"
"I'm great, Lucy." There was a pause in his words, as if he were hesitant to say whatever he had planned to say. "Look, I know this is soon, but I was wondering if you were interested in having dinner with me?"
"Sure."
"Like I said, I know it's sudden but just hear me out. It doesn't even have to be dinner, it could be lunch or even us going out for coffee. We could even just take a wal-... Wait, what was that?" Lucy's quick reply had almost went unnoticed by the dark haired man but once he realized just what she had said, he was rather surprised at how easily she agreed. He was almost uncertain that he had heard her correctly.
Her laugh brought him back to reality and even bring a grin to his face. Boy, did he miss her laugh. It was like music to his ears, ringing into the deepest parts of his heart and filling him with joy. "I said sure, I'd love to." His heart fluttered at her words as he silently pumped his fist in victory. Oh yes, he would definitely make sure to show Lucy just how good he would be for her.
She deserved a man that would love her unconditionally. One that would never cheat, abandon or abuse her. And he was just that guy. "So, um," he liked his lips in between words, thinking over the best place to take her. He was going to avoid taking her anywhere that they could run into someone they know, and he's going to specifically avoid Lisanna's restaurant. They didn't need prying eyes watching over them. "How about I pick you up, say around six?"
Brown eyes glanced to the clock that hung upon her peach colored walls. It's currently three, so she had three hours to get ready, which in her face was more than enough. "Sure, that sounds good." After saying a quick goodbye, they hung up as cheered in delight and Lucy laughed at herself. That was actually a lot easier than she thought it would be. But then again, it was Gray. Natsu would be a whole other story.
Making her way to her closet, she pulled the door open and walked inside. She realized as she gazed at the different outfits, that she wasn't certain of what exactly she should wear. Casual, elegant, in between? Deciding that she would go for something more on the elegant side, she grabbed down small black dress, smiling to herself as she imagined the date. Even if things didn't end the best for them when it comes to a relationship, she was fairly certain that tonight would still be rather enjoyable. The only thing that really worried her was if this did turn sour, would it affect her friendship with him?
A/N: I know, I know, this definitely isn't my best chapter. More of a filler than anything. It's to show how her thoughts led her to her decision to finally give both men a chance. Her reasoning behind it and her thoughts on the situation. To be honest, I was stumped for awhile on how I wanted this to pan out but I'm on the path once more and I just really hope you don't hate it too much! Please review and let me know what you think, it would be very much appreciated!