Don't take that sinner from me

Chapter 8: Malfoy manor

A/N: I own nothing except my mistakes. Thank you all so much for your sweet reviews! I really appreciate all of them! I'm currently already at chapter 22, and am closer to nearing the end of this story. I honestly can't wait to present it to you all! But for now, you can still enjoy many more chapters before we reach the end.

Her marriage was already starting to have a negative effect on her sleep. For she again lay awake, pondering over Dumbledore's words. He had left her absolutely speechless with those words. If the enchantment only enhanced emotions, and didn't create them, it was curious indeed why she wasn't overflowing with hatred.

That still didn't give her any answers to what that feeling had been when she discovered he was still in love with Lily.

Loud banging on her door ripped her out of her thoughts, and she immediately grabbed her wand from the nightstand and ran to the door, opening it and looking worried at the face of her husband, whose features were equally worried.

"Professor? What's the matter?" Hermione asked, unable to help the high pitch of fear. His features soon hardened again as he spoke: "Get dressed, the Dark Lord wishes to see you." A chill went down her spine and her eyes widened. "Already? But I thought we still had a few days.." Panic started to rise now, and she was unable to contain it. Sure, she had made the slightest bit of progress in Occlumency, but nowhere near was she ready to face Voldemort.

"I told you before that the Dark Lord's word cannot be trusted." He spoke lowly and nodded to her bedroom door. "Neither does he like to be kept waited. I'd advice on changing quickly, Miss Granger, for I do not wish to suffer the consequences."

Hermione nodded vigorously, "Right, I'll be back in a minute." And with that, she hurried into her bedroom, closing the door and running to her wardrobe. She had absolutely no idea what she was expected to wear, but was certain that her school attire wouldn't be the best choice.

Instead, she opted for dark blue jeans and a black sweater that was laying around somewhere in her closet. She didn't bother about her hair; it had became way more bearable this year and besides that, she didn't really feel the need to try and look good for Voldemort.

As promised, she came out of her room after around a minute, and he was already impatiently waiting at the door. "Won't we be travelling by floo powder?" Snape looked at her ludicrously, "Silly girl, you do not simply expect us to intrude the Dark Lord's room like that, do you?" Hermione hung her head in embarrassment as she followed him out of the room and through the dungeons.

"Then, how are we expected to travel there, sir?" Hermione whispered for it was long past curfew. "Apparition." He curtly said and as they walked out of the castle, she noticed how tense he actually was. Not that she could blame him, after all, she could only imagine how stressful it was to lie to Voldemort, risking your life with every encounter. And it would only be even more risky today when taking an unexperienced Occlumens with you.

They walked through the gate and Snape stretched out his arm, not needing to say anything in order for her to understand what she had to do. Grabbing his arm hesitantly, she embraced the lurching feeling as she was pulled to another place. Hermione actually already did have her license to apparate, but she understood it was not wise to apparate herself for she had no idea where they'd be heading.

And she still didn't know where they were when she looked at the huge manor in front of them. "Where exactly are we, sir?" Hermione said, her voice barely a whisper. "Malfoy manor." Hermione was about to walk, but he held her back as his hand tightened around her arm, pulling her towards him.

"It is not guaranteed that the Dark Lord will not try to penetrate your mind. I therefore ask your utmost discretion and awareness in case you might find him doing so. If, in any case this happens, try everything in your might to unable him access. Even if that means boring him to death by thinking about that scenery." Snape warned her lowly and Hermione nodded, swallowing fearfully as the importance of controlling her thoughts slapped her in the face.

"One wrong move and we'll both lay dead at his feet, Granger." His voice was dangerously low now and he started to walk, Hermione following him suit quickly. "How very comforting of you, professor." Hermione said sarcastically but Snape remained as emotionless as ever. "I didn't mean to be."

They arrived at the gates in complete silence and Hermione had to bite back a yelp of fear as one of the Death Eaters looked her over dangerously. Snape had seemed to move a little closer to her as the two nodded at each other and the gates opened, and Hermione gladly accepted the comfort of having him around.

The other Death Eater lingered behind by the gate and Snape muttered something so low she barely heard it. "Control your emotions, Granger. Discipline your mind." And Hermione realized he must be sensing her fear as it must have shown all over her face.

Willing her body to relax, she tried to concentrate her thoughts on the calming scenery. But it seemed even more difficult to do outside of her lessons as the unpleasant cold hung in the air. The manor was dark and quiet, seeming to be inhabitant but she knew that wasn't true.

With one last deep breath, she hurried after her husband as he walked up a set of stairs that were positioned at the right of the room. It didn't take long for them to get up, and she wasn't prepared at all to walk straight into an open room.

A long table filled the entire space, and she couldn't even begin to count the many seats that were filled with Death Eaters. However, there was one particular person sitting at the end of the table that had sent her uncontrollable shivers down her spine.

"Severus, I was beginning to worry you had lost your way. Come, we've saved you two a seat." The high shrilly voice spoke and Hermione had the sudden urge to run away, but she knew she couldn't.

Fighting her wobbling knees, she followed her husband to the table. He took his seat at the immediate left of Voldemort, and Hermione took the only empty place next to him – forcing her to sit next to a Death Eater. Although, she figured she preferred that than sitting next to Voldemort himself.

Hermione didn't dare to let her eyes roam across the table, but had still managed to get a sight of Bellatrix and Draco's parents. But what had her momentarily surprised, was to see Draco sitting next to his parents, looking nearly as frightened as she did.

"I'd like to welcome a very special guest." Voldemort spoke, a sense of authority in his voice as the room was completely silent. "Hermione Granger, isn't it?" A nasty smirk was added to the shrilly voice and Hermione tried her hardest to control her shaking body.

Hermione gave the slightest nod and Voldemort's smirk fell as she noticed his attempt to control his fury. A light kick was cast against her foot, and she knew it came from her husband on her right. "Yes, my lord." Hermione corrected quickly, her voice shaking as she turned her head at him, careful to not make eye contact.

"As I have mentioned before, Hermione will be helping us to defeat Harry Potter by working as our spy." The shrilly voice was high and strained, and she could tell she was annoying him greatly by not looking at him.

"My lord, how are you so sure we can trust her? Isn't she supposed to be best friends with the boy, my lord?" Bellatrix inquired, but fell back in her chair as Voldemort snapped at her. "Do not doubt my motives, Bellatrix. I have all my reasons to believe that Hermione here shall not mention a word to Harry Potter." A nasty satisfaction could be heard in his voice, and she made the mistake to look him in the eye for a mere second.

She felt it, the eager and relentless intrusion into her mind. At once, she concentrated her every thought on the calming scenery. Not even bothering to tell herself to not think of Harry, for that would only redirect her thoughts to it.

Hermione had never been more grateful as Snape pinched her hard in the arm underneath the table, granting her the necessary distraction to completely empty her mind. The intruder left her head, and she was extra careful now to avoid eye contact with the man.

"Hermione," she had never hated her name more than when his high voice said it. "I am sure that Severus has told you how I granted the safety of you and your husband in your marriage." Hermione nodded, and quickly hastened a: "Yes, my lord." as avoiding to make the same mistake.

"I have come to the understanding that you are to be considered the brightest witch of your age, am I right?" He continued and Hermione swallowed, "So they say, my lord." She was well aware of his staring eyes, but tried to desperately avoid them.

"Then I'm sure you have figured out that I shall need something in return." Voldemort said and Hermione took a deep breath, willing her trembling voice to go away. "But of course, my lord." It sickened her deeply, to call him her lord, for she wanted nothing more than to see him die, yet, she had no choice if she wanted to stay alive herself.

"As you must know, I expect you to work as our spy. The only way to truly discover Harry's whereabouts, is if we're directly connected to the people around him in his inner circle." Hermione nodded in acknowledgment to show that she had understood what he said.

"I am not a stupid man, Hermione. I know how loyal you are to your friends, how can you not be as a Gryffindor?" Hisses of disapproval and mocking laughs were heard around the table, but Voldemort silenced them all by holding up a hand. "As unfortunate it may be, I cannot change your house. However, your loyalty can be changed."

"If you and Severus wish to live, I suggest changing your loyalty." Hermione felt disgusted as she realized the control he had over her. For years she had been on the sideline, not being directly involved with it all, yet here she sat now.

Hermione fearfully let her eyes glide over the table, and watched the scowls and sneers that were thrown her way. Yet, instead of letting them scare her away, she used it as fuel for her much needed courage. "I will, my lord." Her voice was clear and confident, and she allowed herself to rest her features and thoughts as she dared one last look at him, to ensure him that she wasn't lying – even though she was. But he didn't need to know that.

This time he did not try to invade her mind, but she did not dare to stretch her luck any further and averted her eyes once more. "Very smart, indeed." He stood up and walked around the table, stopping right behind her chair and Hermione tried her best not to show the disgust on her face as the unpleasant smell of dead bodies hit her nostrils.

"Are you, however, prepared to become one of us?" Voldemort had lowered down to directly speak in her ear, his voice still loud and clear enough for the others to hear. And with that, she felt all her courage falter. And no matter how hard she tried, she was unable to hide the trembling of her body as his voice pierced through her head.

He had straightened up, apparently pleased by her reaction and walked back to his chair, but didn't take his seat. Hermione didn't dare speak, for she knew her voice would quiver. She didn't want to show any insecurity when she spoke, but she seemed unable to pick up her courage again.

Trying not to jump up as she felt a hand grabbing hers under the table, she allowed herself to relax as he gave her a gentle squeeze. Her thumb stroked the back of his hand in need of comfort, and having him return the gesture, was enough for her ragged breathing to return to normal, and at last she found the courage to speak again.

"I am, my lord." Her voice had once again sounded confident, even though on the inside it was far from being that. Her insides turned as she saw the nasty smile out of the corner of her eyes, "Very good, Hermione, that is a very wise choice."

His head had turned to Snape, who returned the gaze with a blank expression, hinting no emotion at all. "You two are dismissed." Voldemort said and Snape inclined his head and let her hand go. She was more than relieved to follow his lead as he had gotten up and without a backwards glance, they left the room.

Her heart was still beating rapidly and she could feel her entire body trembling as the adrenaline started to slowly leave her body. They walked through the gates once more as the Death Eater had opened them, and she eagerly grabbed his arm – wanting to get away from that place as soon as she could.

Snape had to catch her as they arrived back on the Hogwart's grounds, for she was unable to keep steady with her wobbling knees and the lurching of the apparition. Hermione expected a scowl for her incapability of standing, but was taken by surprise when he had grabbed her hand as soon as she was back on her feet again.

They entered the gates and Hermione felt relieved to know that she'd be safe in the castle. They wordlessly walked back to the dungeons, but the rubbing of his finger on the back of her hand did not go unnoticed by her. However, she wasn't the one to complain at all, for she would desperately accept any kind of comfort he had to offer her.

Hermione shot a quick glance at the clock in his quarters, and managed to make out the time in the darkness. It was already nearing two in the morning, but instead of letting her go to her room, he led her to the fireplace at the far right corner and let her hand go as soon as they arrived.

Snape casted a charm at the fireplace which made it burn and Hermione took this time to sit herself down on the couch. He conjured a glass of water out of mid air and she gladly took it from him, sipping on the water as she allowed the fluid to relieve her tensed muscles.

"You did well tonight, Miss Granger." His voice was barely a whisper and she could tell he had difficulty offering her this compliment. She watched him as he stood in front of the fireplace, his hands clasped together in front of him.

She shook her head as she made the empty glass vanish. "If it wasn't for you, professor, I wouldn't have been able to control my mind." He quirked an eyebrow as he looked at her, "It does not matter how you succeeded, the point is that you did."

"When will he expect to see me again, so I can.. you know.." She didn't want to say it out loud, for the thought disturbed her deeply. "When he feels it is the right time. We cannot know for sure when that will be." Hermione nodded understandingly and fumbled with her sweater.

"I must warn you, however, that everything you see and hear shall be kept to yourself. Only when discussed with me, shall you be allowed to talk to others about it." Hermione hesitated, but reluctantly nodded, realizing she didn't have much choice anyway.

The next day had been absolutely exhausting, and this time it wasn't because of the lack of sleep. Her body had allowed her the much needed rest, yet her mind had different plans as it haunted her in her dreams.

Classes had therefore been absolutely dreadful to take and she hadn't had the time yet to tell her friends about the meeting because they were all constantly surrounded with other students.

Malfoy, however, had also been eerily quiet towards her, and she knew exactly why. Not only did she know of his secret, but she had also experienced his fear and knew she could turn that against him.

That wasn't to say that his friends had laid off, though. Because when they attended their last period of the day, which was Defence Against the Dark Arts, Hermione of course had been the only one to know the answer to his question and he had been forced to reluctantly give her the opportunity to answer his question. "Miss Granger, why don't you enlighten us, then." His attitude was still sneering, yet for the sake of their reputation, he only kept it to the limits that it would look professional. This is where Draco's friends came in, for Pansy smugly said: "Sir, I must have misheard you, but I believe that what you tried to say was Mrs Snape."

That comment had been the first time they had experienced Snape taking points from his own house. It had only been five, but that didn't dismiss the surprise of each student in the room. But Hermione knew why he was so quickly agitated, for she was the same. They didn't know when, but they did know that it wouldn't be long before Voldemort would summon them again to turn her into a Death Eater. And even though her previous meetings had shown that she was improving, it was nowhere near enough.

Yet, that brought her to where she was now, absolutely exhausted as she had taken a seat on the chair in the Potions classroom after dinner. "Legilimens!" He said and she felt herself being thrown into her mind once again.

"But I do want to inform you that the enchantment does not create emotions. It merely enhances what's already there."... Dumbledore's words flew around her head as her mind showed the images she saw in Snape's head.. "If it enhances emotions, how come I am not overflowing with hatred now, then?" ... The scene switched back to the Headmaster's office.. "Why don't you tell me?" The scene was replaced by the Malfoy Manor.. Voldemort's voice ringing in her ear.. Snape's hand offering her comfort..

Hermione took a deep breath and concentrated deeply on the colour black. Perhaps a scenery was indeed not the best way to shield her thoughts, for it would show that she was keeping something hidden. So, instead she filled her entire mind with the black colour, walking around in it to try to explore every corner of it so no other thoughts could appear.

It seemed to have worked when she was thrown back into the dungeon, feeling him leave her mind. "Legilimens!" Snape said once more, and she immediately focused her thoughts back on the black colour, and after a few minutes it became apparent that she wasn't going to budge so he left once more.

"Very good, Miss Granger." Snape said and Hermione smiled weakly, and opened her mouth to say something, but decided not to and closed it again. She was in an inner battle with herself and kept on opening and closing her mouth, uncertain of what to do.

"Are you going to say whatever is on your mind, Miss Granger, or are you going to stay gaping like a fish?" Snape impatiently asked and Hermione sighed, looking at the ground as her voice was a strained whisper. "Professor, I was thinking.. perhaps we should call each other by our first name. It will make it easier for me to play my part."

When it stayed silent, she dared to throw a quick glimpse up and saw the puzzled expression on his face. "If it helps, then you can call me Severus. Unless we're in class, of course." She let out a relieved sigh but didn't ignore the way he chose to phrase his words. "Please do the same thing, sir."

Snape smirked, raising his eyebrows. "What? You want me to call you Severus as well?" He said mockingly and Hermione rolled her eyes. "Well, I was thinking more along the lines of Hermione, but if Severus appeals you, then don't let me stop you." She noticed the hint of a smile, but he quickly composed himself as he was the one to roll his eyes now. "Hermione it will be then."

Hermione nodded and got out of her chair, straightening her robes and walking to the wooden door. "Good night, Severus." Hermione smirked and she saw the twitching in his lips, but he payed along, matching a smirk of his own. "Good night, Hermione."

If anything, she was not prepared for the shiver that went down her spine as he said it. Hurrying to not give anything away, she entered the quarters and headed straight for her bedroom.