CHAPTER NINETEEN
"No. I mean it. The President of the United States himself could walk in and tell me that it was a matter of grave importance and I would say Mr. President, my apologies but I have to decline."
I didn't think it would actually happen.
Two men in serious suits stood standing near the door on guard. Stefan Vladic was sitting in a chair next to the woman dressed in the tight business suit.
"Bella, this is Erica Jefferson and she is with the Presidential Inaugural Committee." Edward introduced.
"Hello." I replied softly as I sat slowly in Edward's office chair which he pulled out for me.
"Hello, Miss Swan as you know the Presidential Inauguration is approaching and I serve on the committee to insure that our country's time-honored and historical ceremonies are presented with utmost respect and dignity. After careful consideration from the committee as well as the endorsement from the President elect, I am here to represent the committee in requesting that you perform for our ceremonies on the twentieth of January."
I stared at her like she had three heads; in fact I probably wouldn't have been in as much shock if in fact she did have three heads as opposed to what she had just proposed.
"…uh…wha…wh..." no intelligent words here.
"Bella, I'm sure I don't need to tell you what an honor this is, a real feather in your cap especially as a new artist." Stefan sat up straight and proud.
"Wait, I don't understand. Is this a joke? I mean what? I mean…WHAT?"
Edward squeezed my shoulder, "It's not a joke, honey."
I snapped my head to him. "You did this, didn't you? I said that not even the President himself could stop me from taking a break and this is either some type of test or joke you're trying to play on me." I stood up and Edward tried to interrupt me but I kept going as I started to pace.
"Or maybe you're just doing this because I refuse to tell you who I voted for and you think that by accepting or not accepting this preposterous offer that my acceptance or refusal will give you a hint as to what I voted. Really, Edward." I shook my head.
"Bella..." Edward said but I ignored him and continued my rant walking around the office.
"I really don't understand sometimes the lengths you go to play such a silly joke. You got Stefan in here for goodness sake and you even managed to get these guys all dressed up and acting like Secret Service." I walked straight up to one of the men in the dark suits, "You're good." I slyly praised.
"Miss Swan, I can assure you that this is no joke. I have an official letter here if you would care to see. And those gentlemen really are Secret Service. When it comes to the inaugural ceremonies everything is kept to the most highest degree of confidentiality. Which means that you nor any other person in this room may discuss what we have offered even if you were to choose to decline." Erica stated.
I backed down from the Secret Service gentlemen and looked back to her. My embarrassment thankfully had yet to catch up with me.
"Why me? I can't imagine why you would choose me?"
"There has been a large push with integrating the younger generation in becoming more active in their country's affairs. This election had the highest voter turnout of people ranging from eighteen to thirty since ninety two. The President elect has his reasons for why he mentioned your name to our committee and we feel that you may help with our goal by ushering in a generation of American's who may have felt overlooked in past years. Our hope is to have you perform My Country, 'Tis of Thee with a choir of young children. You are the present and they are the future of the United States of America."
"This is serious. You all are being serious." It started to really hit me what Ms. Jefferson was here for. I could feel the blood drain from my face.
"Very serious." She affirmed.
"Isn't this wonderful? Think of what it will do for record sales." Stefan glowed.
"Edward?" I looked to him.
"This is up to you. Whatever your decision is of course I will support you?"
I didn't know what to say. Part of me was still thinking that this was just some elaborate hoax but I knew that Edward wouldn't be so cruel to let it keep going on like this. Another part of me was thinking that our new President elect must be off his rocker.
Why would he want me? Maybe he felt some sort of obligation to help out my career since Edward worked so hard to further his. Maybe this was all just payback? No that can't be it, I mean George Clooney did five times more work for the election funds than Edward and they weren't asking his flavor of the month to perform. But what if this was orchestrated by Edward and our soon to be commander-in-chief. Ohh Bella, do you really think that the next leader of the free world really spent as much time thinking about this as you are. I mean for god sakes he has wars and a recession to deal with. Whether or not you sing at his inauguration I highly doubt tops his list of pondering.
"I need to think about it." I replied.
Ms. Jefferson rose from out of her chair. "We will need to know by the end of the week. I hope you will place a great deal of thought into this decision."
Well, duh! Thankfully I didn't say that out loud.
"Absolutely." I shook her hand.
"I will remind you that this conversation needs to be kept private. Good day." She replied and she was led out by the men in the dark suits.
Once they left, Stefan closed the door quickly behind them. "What do you mean you need to think about this? Do you have any idea what kind of honor this is? How could you say anything but yes?"
"Stefan, this isn't some silly award show or Halloween party to perform at. This is going to be one of the biggest events in the history of this country. I will not just say yes to something without really thinking it over first. You yourself said that I am a new artist. What do you think it will do for record sales if I were to choke on stage in front of millions of people who will be watching from around the world?" I sat back down in the chair frustrated.
"Bella, you're not going to choke. This is your job and I know a thousand artists that would kill for this. Are you going to disappoint your label?" Stefan asked.
"Stefan, back off. This is Bella's choice." Edward looked pissed but I couldn't let him rip Stefan a new asshole without help, after all we were a team.
"You don't get to decide what I do or don't do. I have many jobs and if you're so worried about the label then you could go right ahead and drop me from it. I will not have anyone control me which is why I never signed any contract beyond the two albums which I have already produced for you. I am under no obligation to do anything more for WMG. My decision to perform at the President's Inauguration will not be based on what my label wants. If you can't give me a couple of days to think it over and make a decision that is right for me then you can just go right ahead and leave."
Both Edward and I were standing strong in front of Stefan's chair. He slowly stood up. "I think we are all getting a little irrational. I will go ahead and depart and will await your decision."
Once Stefan shut the door behind him, I took off for the small bedroom next to Edward's office and laid down on the bed. It wasn't even noon and already I felt like a month had passed since this morning's radio interview. I felt the bed dip down from Edward's weight and his body mold itself to mine. He didn't say a word he just ran his fingers through my hair and lightly massaged my scalp which worked wonders from the splitting headache that I felt.
"Baby, I'm sure you're feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment." Edward said softly.
"Overwhelmed? I'm a lottawhelmed." I flipped over to face him, "Just tell me, did you have anything to do with this?"
"What? No."
"Do you think that it's possible that your friend el presidente did this as some sort of thank you for everything you did to help raise money for his campaign?" I asked.
"Bella, why would you think that?" he questioned.
"I don't know. I mean…why? Why? There is no logical explanation for what just happened in there."
"I said I would support your decision. If this is too much, then decline. I won't be disappointed; I just hope that you won't be disappointed in the future when you look back on this. I know we joke about me not knowing how you voted in the election. If this is some sort of moral dilemma…"
"I already told you, it wouldn't have mattered to me who was elected President. I would support him no matter what and it wouldn't be an attack of conscience for me. I wouldn't feel bad for singing at the inauguration for someone I didn't vote for."
"Really? Cause I would have a problem." He replied.
"You have many problems."
Edward looked down at me, "What problems do I have?"
"Well for starters in exactly t minus sixty days you will be the sap owner to one bat shit crazy wife. You think I was a pain in the ass when I was just your girlfriend you haven't seen nothing yet. I'm sure I am just one gig away from the nut house. Secondly, at this point my baggage far outweighs yours and if there is any indication of the silence in our house from the past few weeks I am pretty sure you are best manless which is many thanks to me. You're welcome. So as I see it you still have plenty of time to jump in your jet and fly off into the sunset because once you say "I do" that whole for better or worse part is pretty binding and even if I do sign a prenup which I plan to do, the only family jewels that may be protected will be the ones in that binding contract."
"You're not signing a prenup."
"That's what you got from that rant?" I huffed getting off the bed and throwing my hands up in the air.
"I mean it, Isabella. You sign something, I will tear it up." He replied forcefully.
"I'm not going to spend our marriage with the media planting seeds of doubt into your head. There will be a prenup; in fact there will be four. One I will give you every five years until our fifteenth wedding anniversary. This will protect you and all your assets. Don't take the high road here Edward. I'm doing this for you."
Edward walked up to me until his face was mere inches from mine, "No." His eyes were cold. "We no longer practice a majority of things I believe in from Tria Fata. I have taken a back seat on many issues in the past few months but not this. You will not sign anything. Am I making myself clear?"
We both stood there in some sort of dominant staring contest neither of us budging.
"You won't go back on your word. There is nothing you can do about it. I'm signing the forms." Inside I was feeling a bit shaky but I wasn't about to let Edward see that.
"I won't punish you, that is true but I won't marry you either. If you or I can't trust one another then there is no reason for us to be married. I don't want a prenup because I trust you, Bella. If you sign then it means you don't believe me and I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't have faith in me."
"This isn't about my faith in you. I'm protecting you." I yelled. "What happens if ten years go down the road and I've turned into some narcissistic demon bitch who out of vengeance or hatefulness tries to take you for everything you're worth? I don't know what Hollywood will eventually turn me into and I won't take that risk."
"You still don't get it Bella. If you left me there wouldn't be anything for you to take. Without you, I would no longer exist."
I folded my arms over my chest and scowled toward the corner away from him. I couldn't believe that he would be so…stupid.
Edward came up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "And I would never allow Hollywood to turn you into a narcissistic demon bitch. I would take you away from all of this before I let happen."
I felt him kiss the base of my neck. "Hmmm…bat shit crazy…" he mumbled.
"I heard that." I huffed.
Edward laughed, "Wasn't trying to be subtle."
I turned back to face him and he wrapped his arms around my lower back and brought me in to him. "What's really going on? This isn't just about the president thing, is it?" he asked softly.
"I…I just feel like I am losing control. My life feels like any moment it will spin out of control. I hate feeling like this."
Edward put his hand on my face and softly rubbed the circles beneath one of them. "Come on. I will lie down with you. I think you need a nap and maybe after you will have a little more clarity."
He pulled me over to the bed and I laid down upon his chest. He was right, I did need this. It felt so good to just close my eyes and I could feel my body relax because he was there holding me and I always knew that I was safe there in his arms. Safe from decision-making. Safe from crazy propositions. Safe from the world.
I woke up a couple of hours later and I could see even with my face smashed into the pillow that it was now four pm. I could feel that Edward was gone and that sadden me. I turned over on my back and wiped a little drool from off my mouth, lying there just staring up at the ceiling.
"Maybe you were right. It's a good thing I'll never marry you. I'd probably drown in my sleep."
I jumped up in surprise that I was not alone. Jacob sat in the corner on a chair.
"What are you doing here?" I snapped.
Jacob lifted up his hands in surrender, "I come in peace." He put his hands down and then walked over to our mini fridge and pulled something out, "See, I even brought an offering."
He handed over a piece of New York cheesecake with strawberries on top. It was one of my favorites that came from this restaurant called The Palm. Normally I would turn my nose up at any sort of offering but my period was coming on soon and after the day I had; I deserved it.
I didn't say a word and I could tell that it was bothering Jacob. He was squirming like a worm while I sat there and quietly ate my offering.
"I…I…" Jacob sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for…kinda being a jerk."
"Kind of?" I pointedly questioned.
"Fine, I was a jerk. I just… I can't explain it. I understand where you are coming from but I don't think you know how hard it is to have feelings for a person and know they will never return them."
"Uh…Jake, that was my whole childhood. I always had feelings for people and they never returned any feeling other than hatred. But…I get what you're saying. I'm sorry. Truly I am but I can't change how I feel. I value your friendship and to be honest the last couple of weeks it didn't feel like you valued mine and that hurt."
He walked over and sat on the bed, "Bells, of course I value you. I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better I have taken your advice and have actually sought out other girls…well one girl in particular."
"Really?" I smiled, "Who?" I felt like a gaggle of gossiping girls sitting around eating cheesecake talking relationships.
"I met her recently and she is…amazing. But I don't want to talk about it too much cause it's new and we just started to date. We haven't even gone public. Mostly it's just sneaking around."
"Wow, Jake. That's so wonderful. You won't even tell me her name? I think I deserve it."
"Bells, I promise if this turns into something then I will bring her by to introduce you but you of all people should know how great it is to have something to yourself and how great it is to be able to keep that from the world."
"Fine, I will try to be patient." I pouted. "So what does she do for a living?"
"Bella." Jake replied in warning.
"What, I can't even get tiny details?" I pushed.
"Eat your cake." Jake demanded. He got up from the bed and started to walk around a little.
"Hey, have you noticed your assistants have been dating?"
"Dating who?" I said with my mouth full of cheesecake.
"Each other."
"What? No there not." I dismissed.
"Bella, you haven't seen anything? Dude, I walked in on them making out near the basketball court. Didn't hear me though. I guess they were a little preoccupied."
"Wait a minute. Ian and Emma? You're sure." I asked.
"I'm telling you. Apparently you are wildly unobservant. I'm sure there were signs." He replied.
"No fucking way." Always a lady.
"Edward, come here for a minute." Jacob called out toward Edward's office.
"What's up?" He asked coming in.
"First of all you left me alone in here with Jacob. Kind of creepy how he was all watching me sleep." I replied.
"Somehow you look like you came out unscathed." He rolled his eyes.
"Hey, don't go off book here. Have you noticed anything weird about Emma and Ian?" Jake lowered his voice like they had super hearing.
"You mean that they're dating." He replied.
"What? How does everyone know this?" I asked baffled.
"Told you. Completely unobservant."
"Did they say something to you?" I pressed.
"No, but when we were in D.C. I noticed Ian go into Emma's room which wouldn't have been weird but then I could see small little touches every once in a while." Edward said suggestively.
"Why didn't you say anything?" I asked.
"They obviously want their privacy who are we to call someone out for secretly dating, plus your mind needed to focus on other things and I didn't want to distract you."
"Hmmm…well now I'm going to feel all weird when I see them." I said.
"Bella, just look the other way." Edward mandated.
It did feel weird seeing Emma skip around the office and give Ian these shy sly smiles. I really was the most unobservant person on the earth. How could I have not seen it before? Now it was all I could see and for some reason I felt compelled to just call them out on it hoping it would make it easier on them but Edward said under no circumstances was I to do anything of the kind. Still every time I would see them I couldn't help but smile and remember when life was like that for me.
Christmas was next Thursday and after the house was decked out with lights and holiday trim I couldn't wait for Edward's and my first official Christmas together. Thoughts of last year ran through my mind and I shuttered. This year since we had so many people in our house we agreed to draw names and do Secret Santa exempting Savannah and Gracie of course. I drew Becky and I was extremely thankful since I always found men hard to shop for.
Edward invited my parents over to spend the holidays with us and of course my mother couldn't wait to talk wedding.
"I'm just saying that you are getting married in less than two months and you have uneven number of bridesmaid's and groomsman, you have no venue, no colors. Honestly Bella, what do you have?" My mom was starting a chicken and cheese enchiladas happy to be back in my kitchen.
"I have the man I love and my sanity."
"Well that's not enough. What about a dress? Flowers. Photographer. Cake. Centerpieces. Dear lord do you even have a theme?"
"Mom, I will put you in touch with Emily our wedding planner and you can coordinate with her."
"Sometimes I just think you love to raise my blood pressure." She threw the kitchen towel down in frustration.
"Renée, it will be done. Don't worry. In fact on Monday we are going to meet with Emily and go over all of those things." Edward yelled out over the television.
My mother sighed and went back to her dish. Since we had so many people living here she always said that Italian and Mexican was the best food to make for a large crowd.
"So there is something that I wanted to talk to you about." My mom stopped what she was doing and looked over to me. It started to worry me that she suddenly became serious.
"What is it, mom?" I asked.
"Well, your father and I have been talking and I have decided that at the end of this school year I want to retire."
"Wow, really?"
"Yes. I want to spend more time with your father and…I would like to be around more. I realized during Thanksgiving that I really liked being around you and my granddaughters. You know I see those girls as my granddaughters, right?"
I smiled. "Yes, I know. So…what were you planning on? Moving in here because I have to tell you we are getting pretty full up here." I laughed.
"No. Of course not but your father and I want to move closer. It's such a pain to have to drive an hour and a half to get here." She explained.
"Wait…so you are going to sell our house?" I asked.
It was at this time that Edward came over, "Honey, your parents want to be closer. Isn't that nice?"
"Well yeah but that is my childhood home." I looked down at the countertop. Edward started rubbing my back.
"Bella, if you don't want us to move we won't." My dad had joined in the conversation.
I looked up to him and for a moment I realized just how old he looked. My dad was sixty-two and when I thought about him I guess I always had this image in my head that he was still just over forty but the years had taken a toll as well as his health and then I looked at my mother and no longer did she look as young either. It was my childhood home but I was being selfish. My parents deserved the best and now I was in a position to make sure they got it.
"No of course Daddy, I want you both to be happy. It's just a house." Edward gave me a kiss on the head and my parents both smiled.
After dinner I took a glass of wine and went to sit out on the balcony off Edward's and my room. I looked out over the pool and watched as the water glistened under the moon.
"You okay?" Edward asked joining me.
"Sure." I replied softly.
He came and sat down beside me on our little cozy couch.
"You were quite during dinner. Are you upset with your parents?"
"No."
"Bella." He said my name with that knowing sound.
"I'm not upset, I…I'm sad. Aren't I allowed to be sad?"
"Your parents just want to be closer. I know that you loved that house but you aren't living there anymore and…"
"Edward, you don't get it. It doesn't matter that I don't live there. I look at that house and I don't see just a house. I grew up in that house. I walk into the front door and I see the banister that I broke when I was messing about. I go up to my old room and I can still see the place where Jessica would sit on my window seal and talk about her hopes and dreams. I walk out into our backyard and see the summers my parents, Jessica and I would spend barbecuing and swimming. And when that house sells it will feel like all those memories will just stay there. It's not just a house."
"Okay. I'm sorry. You're right. I'm sorry, baby." He pulled me to him.
"No. I'm just being emotional. I want my parents to be happy so I will say good-bye and in the end move on. Stop looking at the past and look towards the future and all that." I stood up and walked over to the balcony rail
"Bella, what if.."
"I'm going to D.C."
I turned back to face him. "I have spent so much of my life afraid. Afraid of what people will think. Afraid of failing. Afraid of even getting into a relationship with you and I'm done. I'm done of always being scared and I would hate myself for passing up on an opportunity that is once in a lifetime. And I know it will make my parents proud. They have spent their whole life sacrificing so that Jessica and I could have good life and now it's my chance to make them proud. I'm going to D.C."
AN: Once again I apologize for taking a while with this update. The funny thing is I know what I am going to write I am just having a hard time focusing on writing it. But don't worry I will finish. THANK YOU FOR READING AND REVIEWING! I promise I will work harder!