Act 4
Late May, 2042. Mosby living room. Ted is sitting on the same couch Penny and Luke sat in 2030 listening to Ted ramble on about how he met Tracy. His gray hair is messed up and his eyes are rolling in frustration as he talk to the screen.
TED: [in French] Like I said before, I want to reserve your castle for a male strip show and orgy. My 26-year old goat is getting married and this is what she want. Why are you two laughing?
[we see the screen with one man and one woman laughing and gossiping to each other in French]
FRENCH MAN: Silly American!
FRENCH WOMAN: Where did he learn his French? McDonalds?
TED: [in French] Come on stop laughing! I want to throw an orgy! About 100 monkeys will be attending this happy event in my dear goat's life!
[door opens. Enter Robin and Penny]
TED: [still talking in French] Also I need someone who will provide the guests with an ample supply of horse urine to drink! Merde! What is wrong with you people? Didn't you ever have a goat that got married?
[Robin sits on the couch next to Ted]
ROBIN: [in English] Ted, what do you call a person who speaks one language? An American! I had 13 years of compulsory French back in Vancouver. Let me talk to them.
[Robin looks at the screen. Penny sits next to her.]
ROBIN: [in French] I'd like to apologize for my husband. He claims to know French, but what do you expect from an American? This beautiful girl seated next to me is his daughter and my stepdaughter. She is engaged to be married. We'd really like to use your castle for her wedding for July.
FRENCH MAN: But why use our castle?
ROBIN: [still in French] It is a long story. My husband and his first wife wanted to marry in a castle in France, but something always came up including the birth of my stepdaughter. They eventually married in an American church. They were hoping in the future to renew their vows in a French castle, but she got sick and died.
FRENCH WOMAN: Mon Dieu! That is so sad. Tell your stepdaughter and husband I'm sorry for their loss.
PENNY: [to Robin] Thank you Robin, I can take it from here. [to the screen in French] Thank you, it happened a long time ago when I was a child. So, my dad, stepmom, and I decided to carry out a dream of my mom's to preserve her spirit. My dad, who is an architect, saw a picture of your castle and thought it was the most beautiful castle in France. We also liked that in was near the Riviera, because we love beaches.
[Ted looks a Penny in amazement and bewilderment]
ROBIN: So fellows, think about this sweet girl, who just wants to preserve her mom's memory and carry out her dream. Didn't you have any dreams you wanted to fulfill that never materialized?
FRENCH MAN: Madame Mosby, Madamoiselle Mosby, you touched my heart. I will definitely make sure your wedding is carried out. We can arrange your wedding to take place on July 20. How does that sound?
ROBIN: [to Ted in English] Is July 20 okay for you honey?
TED: It's terrific. Penny?
PENNY: July 20 is fine, Dad.
ROBIN: [to screen in French] July 20 is perfect. Please confirm.
FRENCH WOMAN: Okay. [typing on tablet] July 20, 2042. Penny Mosby. Madame Mosby, your French is excellent and so is your stepdaughter's. Are you Canadian by any chance?
ROBIN: Oui. But how did you know?
FRENCH WOMAN: You pronounce certain words different from the way we do, and you use certain terms that are more Quebecois.
ROBIN: Oh I see. My husband and our friends make cracks at the way I pronounce "about" and "sorry".
FRENCH MAN: Anyway, you are confirmed. We should have no problems. [looking at Ted] Monsieur Mosby, if we have any question or concerns in the future regarding the wedding arrangements, we'll be in touch…with you wife!
ROBIN and PENNY: Merci beaucoup. Au revoir.
PENNY: Thanks, Robin. I'm gonna go call Johnny. [exits to bedroom]
[Ted and Robin face each other on the couch. They talk in English.]
TED: Thanks for helping me out there.
ROBIN: Where did you learn your French? Whatever they taught you at high school or Wesleyan wasn't enough.
TED: Don't diss my alma mater. Wesleyan is an excellent school. By the way, if Americans can only speak one language, why is Penny so good at French?
ROBIN: That's because she had an excellent tutor during her high school and college days.
TED: Well, do you think can I get that tutor to give me some lessons before we fly out?
ROBIN: I don't know. Do you think little Ted can behave during the lessons?
TED: You have my permission to smack him if he misbehaves.
[They kiss and get up from the couch walk toward their bedrrom]
ROBIN: Come on, let's book that hotel before your knowledge of the French language gets us booked into a strip club.
TED: That'd be heaven on earth for Barney.
ROBIN: Ellie will kill him.
End of Act 4