So, it's saturday evening and I'm stuck at home. Exams suck. Anyway, since I was getting bored, I decided to finish Chapter 4 and to publish it. What can I say... well, this chapter is going to change everything, both for Jackson and Dick. Henceforth, things are going to get more interesting and hard for both of them but, eventually, they'll get close.

I looooved the fact someone's spuring me to update soon, not minding about ''some mistakes here and there'' :') I really try to avoid them, trust me. I'm also trying to improve my English eveyday.

So...enjoy and let me know what you think! Have a good Saturday (you all, at least :( )

Dick hadn't seen him coming.

When it came to fight, Dick almost forgot he was human, vulnerable. His men knew it already and Nixon let him notice it. ''You should see you out there, Dick'' he recommended. Dick had no idea of what he was talking about.

The thought he could be hit never crossed his mind when a battle was on and his men were in danger, because all he cared about was getting the target, whatever it was , and keeping his men safe, as far as it was possible.

He never thought it could've actually happened, but it was about to.

It was nearly finished and Dick was about to savor the moment the rumble would've finished so that he was able to just collapse on the ground, alive.

Then he turned back.

The shadow of a crouched figure was steeping slowly and silently over him, Dick thinking it was just one of his men; but he wasn't. Dick widened when he realized what the man was about to do: his whole body was paralyzed, unable to move for the shock.

It went all blank.

Strong arms pushed him down. Dick beat his head on a trunk. As soon as he realized how he got on the ground, he heard a shot and a thud of someone falling harshly on the mud, followed by the same thud almost immediately.

He raised on his elbows.

Jackson Malarkey, laid on the ground crumpling in pain and the blood floating from a point on his right thigh. His screams were a deafening beg of help, his both hands pressing on the wound were staining of a deep red.

He saved his life.

It took some seconds to realize it. Dick dragged his harmless and quavering body down in a rut and with all his breathe yelled for a medic. ''Stay with me, son, Stay with me'' he prayed him while Jackson was dying in pain.

''Medic!''

Blurred figures and noises were surrounding them. The war was temporally forgotten while Dick held his man tight in his arms.

''Sir'' he managed to whisper, trying to rise his head to near his superior's.

''Son''.

Roe rushed over them and bumped into the rut.

''It's deep, sir, but Jackson will recover soon.'' Roe assured him with a cryptical expression on his face. Dick run both his hands over his face ''Thank God, thank God.'' He was alive, the man who saved his life was alive ''thank God''. Dick made a few steps in direction of the door where Jackson was located but a firm grip to his arms stopped him. Dick looked at Roe questioningly. ''Gene, I've got to see him'', he just exposited, hopeful the medic would've understood. Roe let go of his arm and stared fluttered at the Lieutenant.

''Sir, there's a thing I think you'd want to know'' Gene muttered, lowering his head.

Dick was downright worried and swallowed hard, fearing the worst: a young and promising soldier whose life would've dramatically changed.

Dick could not imagine.

As he entered in the room, he noticed Don Malarkey sat on a tiny chair next to the bed, squeezing his brother's hand gently.

''Jackson is sleeping'' Roe explained and reached for one side of the bed, opposite to Don. All Dick could see was the body of a valiant and selfless soldier, lying in a bed in a pitiful state. He chuckled inwardly remembering a time when, back in Toccoa, Jackson resembled to be younger than most of the men but he was also lively, vigorous, with a sparkle in his brown-green eyes.

Dick shrugged, looking quizzically both to Gene and Don.

''What do you want me to see, Gene'' he asked, not be able to notice it by himself.

Then, never losing his gaze from Dick, Roe took away the covers from the bed, revealing what Dick could've not imagined.

Blankly staring at the bed, pale in his face, Dick murmured ''I've seen enough'' with his teeth grinned and slamming the door, he rushed out of the room.

Unpredictable.

Dick was an officer, he had always been one, but he had always been close to his men. He was part of Easy Company, he saw it growing, getting stronger. He went under the same critical times, he slaved away under Sobel's commands. He slept with his men, listened to every their desires, fears, secrets. He was the brothers' keeper. He had always been there, he betted he knew each of them better than he would've never known someone in a lifetime. He knew them by heart.

Impossible.

His men were mere war machines, and Jackson was nothing less. He had the same range, the same sprint, the same valiance of his comrades. Beyond that, he was thorough, smart. He spotted the little but relevant details, he knew all the maps by heart and studied carefully all the maneuvers. He was a great sniper, too; not as great as Shifty was – it was quite impossible to have Shifty's excellent aim – but he was good, too. He was a man worth to trust. He would've gone far, Dick knew it for sure.

Inconceivable.

Jackson wasn't rugged as his comrades but he was as strong as them. He drunk – a lot – and periodically he was engaged into bar fights getting just some eventual bruises, but always winning. He bragged about his love conquests. His swears were embarrassing.

Unbearable.

What the hell was she thinking? A woman in the Army, a paratrooper, a murder. Bastard, atavist. How could a woman even imagine to survive a war? How could she think she could manage a weapon? But she actually did, and greatly. Never a mistake was to be accredited to her, nor found Sobel any crease in her: her weekend pass was always intact. But how could she...

Dick knocked harshly his bed, once, twice. ''Fuck'', his lips cursed, and he could not believe his ears, but the curse sounded so liberating.

''Fuck'', he barked once again. And he was not a cursing man.

It was unacceptable. She had to disappear, instantly. Her presence would've heaved on the Army's honor. She would've been killed, for sure, and that would've been a righteous fate: she had made fun of the United States' Army for years.

But.

Dick was not convinced about what he saw. There were breasts, tiny and white, and his first instinct was to look away in embarrassment. But that breasts belonged to one of his men, and he had somehow the right to see. So, Jackson was a she. Was it possible? Was it possible a good and brave soldier – recently promoted to Sargent – was actually a woman?

That woman saved his life.

She did not think about it. She didn't hesitate. She did what neither a man was obliged to: she risked her life for his. Valiance was not supposed to belong to each men, just some had it. This time, valiance was to be put close to a woman's name.

So.

Dick struggled to refer to Jackson as a she. Jackson was a man, and a tough, bastard, selfless, brave one. How could he be a woman? He wanted to check on him again to study his body once more and meticulously because there was something completely wrong in all that. Truth was what it was, and Jackson had breasts. But it was hard to adjust to the idea. Jackson belonged to E Company, he was a great soldier.

''It can't be''.

He could not be a woman. Dick could not simply get rid of him. Jackson – the man – saved his life. Or the woman. The man or the woman? Dick was literally struggling, his thoughts a turmoil of entangled pronouns that were useless when it came to such prodigious qualities. Did the sex really count? For Pete's sake, Dick's consideration on him was not quivering: he kept on repeating ''my man''. Did it really mean something? What Jackson's real name was?

''Does it count?'' he whispered only to himself.

When he arrived at Jackson's room, there was a confusing turmoil of voices frenetically arguing.

''Come on Gene, we just want to see our buddy'' Bill protested, grabbing the small medic by his arms.

''What's happening here?'' Dick inquired, looking flatly to Joe and Bill.

''Sir, wants us to keep away from our friend, Jackson Malarkey'' Joe exposits ruefully and blatantly worried for his friend's fate. Dick wondered if they knew. He had always considered the three inseparable, just like he was to Lewis and Harry. They shared everything, looked after at each other like they were actually brothers. It was moving to see such soldiers – even Wild Bill Guarnere – worrying about their friends.

''Just wait outside for some minutes. I want to speak to Jackson alone.'' The soldiers nodded unable to protest to their superior's orders. Dick swallowed hard and opened the door.

Jackson wore a shirt and was awake, speaking to his brother who was still there at his bedside.

''Malarkey'' Dick addressed Don. The Private instantly got up from his chair, letting go of his brother hand ''Leave us alone.'' Don's anguish was perceivable; giving a short but antsy look to his brother, he nodded to the Lieutenant and did as he was ordered.

Jackson was now staring right into Dick's eyes. He didn't seem to shake, or even be worried. He firmly held the gaze and kept silent in respect of his superior, waiting for him to say the first word.

''How do you feel today?''

''I'm fine, sir. Eugène says I'll be back on my feet on a few days. He says I recover fast'' he explained flattery. He was placid, firm as always. Dick had never seen Jackson fretting about something: even in the worst situations, his nerves were always firm, his mind was able to think reasonably.

''What's your real name?''

''My name's Jane Malarkey, sir.'' Dick was the only one fluttering in that room. His hands were shaking and he betted he was not able to keep the soldier's gaze anymore. There was something right in what she was doing: she knew it, and she had no intention to state the contrary.

''You dishonored the United States Army with your behavior'' he snarled grinning.

''I know, sir. I'm sorry for that.'' she replied, her eyes still set on him ''but I don't regret doing it'' she stoically added. Her gaze was sheer placidness and lingered on Dick. Jane – or Jackson, whatever – was estranged, firm, fierce in her bed while Dick was rushing nervously from one side to the other of the room, thinking cautiously to each word to use. Why did it feel so right? Why was she so stolid? Did she know what could've happened?

''I should report you to Colonel Sink. I guess you are warned about the consequences of your actions'' Dick exposited, struggling to sound estranged but letting his voice go out in a shudder murmur of insecurity. It felt so wrong. Dick's eyes widened again noticing the woman staring at him flatly in consideration and then shrugging but seemingly, she was not concerned about what would've happened next. It was impressive.

''I understand, sir. I can't blame you for doing your job'' she stated. Dick laughed without mirth: it was a long, eerily laugh of a mixture of feelings: angst, regret, proudness and respect for the woman he saw. She was authentically a soldier: stoically resisting, never retreating.

''Why hadn't you ever told me?'' Dick whispered desperately. Angst was floating out of him where the curiosity of simply comprehending her reasons was even stronger.

This time, the question seemed to move slightly the woman's steadiness ''You would have not understood, sir. No one can'' she said gritting her teeth, this time letting go her gaze from the Lieutenant.

''Of course I can't!'' he barked, desperation still lingering in his voice. As she just kept her silence Dick shrugged callously, urging her to continue. But Jackson – the man, not the woman – had proved to be a good soldier, and good soldiers speak only when they are ordered to.

''Tell me why you did it'' he commanded, and Jackson – the man, the soldier – obeyed.

''When I was ten I told my father I wanted to be a judge and consequently I wanted to attend university. My friends used to make fun of my stupid ambitions since I was a girl, and girls can't dream too far. But his reaction was different. My father looked gently at me and folded my head, and then he told me ''You'll have to work hard, honey, but you can do whatever you want.'' He didn't let me down, he trusted in me. my father died two years later'' she exposited point-blank, peeking out of her window into distance in recalling of her father's words ''I've never considered my capacities to be more or less valuable of a man's. I'm as smart, as wise, as strong as a man. When I heard my Country was engaged in a war, I reacted as each men in my town and embraced the weapon'' she added. Her eyes were challenging him to point out the contrary. Dick was sure – it was ingrained in his beliefs – she was wrong, that a woman could not simply do everything a man could. It was the way she was reacting to his accuses that should've worried anyone but not her. Instead, she was provoking him firmly, not giving up on her beliefs.

Maybe.

Dick shrugged and shook his head. Maybe she was right, not totally right but partly. Dick was still looking at Jackson, and it was Jackson speaking, it was Jackson saving his life. The woman lying in the bed was not a woman: she was his man. And, since he was his man, he could not get rid of him. And, since he was his man, he could not be court-martialed for being a woman.

Because, the woman lying in that bed had nothing less than the others.

The woman lying in that bed saved his life from certain death.

''You knew I was about to find out. I guess you knew I would've found out if you got hit.''

''Yes, sir. I had already concoct with my brother that he would've killed me whether I got hit'' she explained, the firmness in her voice still shaking Dick's security.

''Still, you saved my life. You risked everything for me'' Dick stated, more to himself than to his listener. Deflecting attention from his life, Dick realized the relevant point in all that story was Jackson's life, not his. Jackson acknowledged the consequences of his actions and still, he consciously endangered his health and honor to save Dick. It was real selflessness because that gesture came from someone who had everything to lose and nothing to gain: it was disinterested.

Dick Winters could not claim to be God: he had no powers to judge one's actions. He could not question what Jane did; instead, what he could still do, was forging the man he was standing in front of, making a great soldier out of him. Dick, right and there, undertook himself he would've done whatever was in his forces to make Jackson – the man, the soldier – survive through the war.

He owed him.

''You're receiving a Purple heart out of your action, do you know that?'' Dick asked.

Jackson – the man, the soldier – nodded. ''And a court-martial, sir''.

''No'' Dick declared abruptly ''no you're not. Instead, you're also getting a promotion. I talked to Lieutenant Colonel Strayer before I knew about your secret. Congratulation, Sergeant Malarkey.''

''Sir?'' Jane looked questioningly at him.

''I won't report you, Jackson. I won't let one of my men going in a court-martial and I won't have your life heave on my soul. You saved my life, and for that I owe you everything'' Dick explained steadily. Jane was agape, feeling her eyes burning, on the edge of tears. Never she would've bet Richard Winters could be capable of disobeying the law. Still, she could remark by the tone of his voice that was a struggled decision he took and that he was not sure about it; moreover, she had heard his voice trembling for what – she could guess – was some kind of disgust and disappointment. His eyes were a tad narrowed and he had barely looked at her in the eyes during the whole conversation. Her heart twitched since she knew she had, somehow, let him down. Her sex was a monstrous, obscene and impure fact. Sighing heavily, Jane withheld the tears coming.

''Thank you, sir.''

''Well, get well, Jackson'' Dick said and turned sharply to the door, feeling the urge to run away from that sight.

''Sir?''

''Yes, Sergeant'' he said, blatantly bothered for being restrained there.

''Are you-'' Jane hesitated ''I hope you're not mad at me, sir. I ask you to not let your trust on me affected by what I am.''

''I'm not mad, Malarkey. How could I be. You saved me, risking everything for me. I'm disappointed. You lied to me for years. '' Dick stated matter-of-factly feeling his voice trembling in his throat ''Trust. What do you mean by trust? I'm confident about your skills. Trust…well, it is another story.''

''I understand'' she replied firmly but, this time, Dick noticed a slighter clamper of sadness in her eyes.

Dick sighed half-heartedly, more because of his incapacity to arrange to react properly to the awkward situation. He did not want to cause her any harm or worry – even though his common sense whispered in his ears he had all the rights to be mad at her or to simply sulk – but he knew that he could not act any different just because Jackson was actually a woman: first, to protect her, second to just forget all the story. But it was so hard to him to find an equilibrate point.

What would've he done if he had never known ? What was he about to do or say when he entered that door and he didn't found out anything yet?

Dick walked over her bed, standing to its side ''As soon as you'll feel better, I'd be glad to see you back on training, Sergeant. The Company needs you now more than before'' he professionally stated.

''Sure sir, I'll be back as soon as Roe will let me do it.''

Dick nodded a bit sheepishly. That was a good beginning, he though; one of his man was wounded and he wanted only to be sure he was fine. He did what he had to so he could be discharged now.

''Then again…Thank you'' he left her no time to reply and rushed out of the room.

There, in the entrance hall, there was the same turmoil he met when he first came: Toye and Guarnere were still arguing hard with the medic, insisting on visiting their friend.

''What's happening here?'' he inquired.

''Sir, please, can we know see our friend? Why won't you let us do it!'' Joe cried exasperated.

Dick peeked something indistinct behind them, trying to plan the best excuse he could give.

''Boys, be patient. Your friend is seriously wounded even though he's healing fast. If you want him to fight this war again, you have to let him rest. Just a few days and you will see your friend again, I promise'' he reassured, hoping to appeal to their desire to have him back.

''Sir, please, just for-'' Joe kept protesting whining.

''I said no. And this is a direct order, Corporal'' Dick glared at the two harshly, whishing this time he had made himself clear and that they would've not tried to sneak in the room. ''Easier said than done'' he thought inwardly: he knew that somehow they would've surely tried to see Jackson. Obviously, he could not let them do it.

''Gène'' he called, motioning to follow him away from them .

''Sir'' Gene was visibly upset, not knowing where the conversation would've ended.

''I'm putting one guard at the door. You yourself try to watch out'' Dick pointed his finger to him ''I don't want anyone to enter his room, except for his brother obviously. Understood?'' Dick asked, more as an order.

Gène looked questioningly at him ''So, sir, you won't report?'' he asked startled but blatantly relieved.

Dick sighed hard, glancing at the door behind him ''I won't. Jackson Malarkey belongs to Easy Company as much as you and I. I can't permit one of my men to go under such unpredictable and surely terrible consequences.''

Eugène nodded, flashing him with a happy smirk on his face ''As far as you mind, sir, I think you're doing the right thing.''

The words soothed Dick immediately. Eugène was a good man, one of the best. He was wise, cautious, and seemed to do always the right thing. No question his approval did him some good.

Dick nodded, telling him to stay there until the guard would've arrived.

''Sergeant Malarkey'' Jackson declared proudly.

''Yes, it sounds good, doesn't it?'' Don chipped with a cheerful smile ''never thought we would've gone so far. Well, it's not actually so far, but it's a good point.''

''Hey, I'm very proud of ourselves. Even though the latest turmoil, we still keep our honor high. We Malarkey are indestructible !'' Jackson pointed mirthfully smiling.

''Yeah…well. I would've never expected Lieutenant Winters to turn so sensitive. I mean yes, he's a good man but…I would've never thought he would've gone against his goddamn protocol, especially for your circumstances.''

Jackson crumpled in a thoughtful grimace ''well, I guess he's really attached to each of us. We're so lucky to have him.''

''Did he keep on visiting you?''

''Yes, he did. He actually comes in, salutes and then tries to stay as far as possible from me looking blankly at something and just brooding relentlessly'' he explained in an apologetic tone ''I think he's very troubled.''

''Well, can you blame it on him? Of course he will need time to adjust to it. Lieutenant Winters is too much of a gentleman. He may also think it's inappropriate for him to let you fight a war, you know.''

''But he told me that I was part of the Company and consequentially I would've keep on doing my job!'' Jackson protested against his brother's assumption.

''Hey, calm down, that was just an option. I don't know what he's going through but I admit he's behaving weird during the last few days. But it's likely because of the all war thing, you know, usual problems.''

''Yeah, I guess so'' Jackson smirked, still a bit frowning ''But I did not want to let him down, Don'' he whined.

''I don't think he's disappointed or something, actually'' Don hastened to explain ''it's just... don't brood about it too much, he just needs to adjust to it, as I told –''

The door opened abruptly and a hurried Bill Guarnere entered.

''Hey you there!''

''Bill!'' Don got up abruptly from his chair ''what the hell are you doing here? There are two guards outside!'' he barked with his eyes wide-opened.

Jackson scolded himself inwardly: he hadn't told his brother yet that Bill had discovered his secret and he definitely knew Don wouldn't exactly throw a party at the news.

'' Well…let's say I have remarkable sneaking abilities'' he winked wryly ''They don't let us see you, my friend, we're downright worry. Winters keeps saying you're healing but I wanted to check personally.''

Jackson sweetly smiled at him ''Bill, Winters says the truth. The wound is almost healed. I'll be able to get on my feet in two days, just in time to get back to Albourne'' he exposited gently.

Don was literally shaking in fear and stared frenetically at his brother and Bill ''Jack! He can't stay here! You know this!'' he tried to whisper, glaring all jittery at Jackson.

''Oh c'mon Malark, guards are out there just because Winters don't want anyone to see your brothers' boobies. I know everything so it's ok'' Bill groused leaning his back on the wall ''I just wanted to check on my buddy.''

''Wait wait wait…you know?!'' he drawled hysterically to Bill. Turning to his brother's side, he lifted his finger and exhaled angrily ''What the hell is on your mind?! Spreading your secret around?! Now?!'' he chided. Jackson snickered at how funny Don's voice was, hitting high notes.

''Hey hey, Don, cool down. Don't blame it on him…well, her. I discovered it by myself, about one year ago. So keep calm'' Bill protested firmly. Don was still looking at him with wide, angry eyes, but slowly he slackened a bit.

''Don'' Jackson gripped softly his brother's arm ''why don't you leave us alone for a while? I need to talk to Bill, privately.''

Don flashed him a frowned look and then shrugged ''alright''. Afterwards, he waved a salute and left the room.

Bill smiled tenderly at Jackson ''so, buddy, how do you feel?''

''I'm fine, really. It doesn't hurt anymore. Actually, I don't know why Eugène is still keeping me here'' he shrugged ''were you two worried?'' he asked, hinting to both Bill and Joe.

''Of course we are. We are all worried about you.''

''What about Joe? Did he-'' he paused, not knowing what he really wanted to ask ''did he say something?''

''What was he supposed to say? No, he just doesn't accept Winters' decision to keep us away from you. He said it was for your sake, so you would've healed faster.''

''Does Joe suspect anything?''

''No, how can he? He just can't explain Winters's behavior. Neither I can, actually'' he pointed wryly ''can you please telling me what happened? I can imagine Winters knows.''

Jackson sighed heavily ''Yes, yes he knows.''

''And I heard he promoted you. Oh, talking about that, congratulation. But…isn't he going to report you?'' Bill asked with narrow eyes.

''No, he isn't'' he replied dryly, peeking out of his window pensively ''Don't ask me why, but he isn't.''

Bill crossed his arms and make a face of cautiously thinking at what Jackson had just said ''Well, that's impressive for .''

''Yeah, I know'' Jackson countered sarcastically ''he keeps visiting me. He enters in my room, sends my brother away, asks me how I feel and then looks thoughtfully at me our out of the window for what it seems a lifetime. He's acting weird, really weird.''

Bill shrugged considering Jackson's point carefully ''Well…when I said we don't understand his behavior I meant the same thing…He's weird, even during the training. He gives us order to go here and there and to do this and that. Then, he just stares blankly at something, like lost.''

Jackson grimaced at that pensively ''Bill, I don't want to fend him off. I don't want to cause to him any trouble and I think this story is affecting him a lot. Maybe, going against the protocol is too much for one of his kind. Or… I don't know, I don't know what his problem may be'' Jackson vented worriedly.

Bill walked over his bed and sat on it ''Don't worry, everything is going to get better when you'll be back with us, training. He'll forget you don't have a dick when he'll see you cursing like a sailor'' he snickered eliciting a growl from Jackson who hardly believed it.

''Look what the train brought in ! Malark! We thought Winters would've kept you all for himself!'' Liebgott exclaimed staggering over Jackson to shake his hand in saluted.

''How are you doing Joe?''

''I'm fine, glad to go back to England I guess. But what about you? I tried to come to see you but two brutes stationed at your door said Winters ordered to not let anyone in.''

Jackson shrugged evasively ''I know…well, I think he just wanted to let me rest for a while, you know'' he exclaimed frenetically while catching a figure coming towards them from behind Liebgott.

''Joe!'' Jackson exclaimed waving his friend a salute.

''Malarkey!'' Joe patted Jackson's shoulder firmly but friendly, looking gently at him ''how are you, bro?''

''I'm fine, Joe. I know you tried to come…I'm sorry for Winters.''

''Yeah, I'd punched that face well when he barked I couldn't check on my wounded buddy. He's acting mad, believe me'' Joe stated both angrily and worriedly about his superior's behavior. That consideration coming from Joe just stung Jackson's stomach: too many times he had heard complaining about Winters. Jackson was starting to fear he could've lost his focus just because of him.

''Maybe he just needs to relax, too'' Jackson only countered.

''Well, we all need it. Glad we're coming back in England.''

Jackson patted on his friend's shoulder motioning to him to climb on the ship that was about to bring them back to Albourne.

On the ship, Jackson glimpsed Winters' presence and he was caught up looking rightly at him. The Lieutenant was enjoying Nixon and Welsh's company. He was showing off a big smile while Nixon was all taken in telling his funny story. When they were around, Winters' guardedness fell instantly: he smiled genuinely and showed his normally hidden sense of humor. He seemed somehow younger, with his eyes shining and his face enlightened by happiness. Jackson unconsciously smiled at the sight, remarking nothing weird in Winters' behavior. Then, as he had perceived someone was staring at him, Dick caught his eyes, and his face darkened immediately.