Act 7.

Charles de Gaulle Airport. Baggage Claim. Robin, Ted, Penny, Johnny, Luke, Barney, Ellie are grabbing their suitcases/duffel bags and placing them on smarte cartes.

TED: I understand you have dual citizenship with both US and Canada now, but I don't understand why you always pack both passports with you.

ROBIN: It's a safety precaution for me, especially in Europe, where it's easy to get pickpocketed. Sometimes the US Embassy is very cooperative when the Canadian Embassy isn't and vice versa in terms of getting me a new passport in case one gets lost or stolen. And also, my Canadian passport comes in handy when I'm in a Commonwealth country.

TED: You get the best the best of both worlds, but I'm the one who can run for president.

ROBIN: [sucker punches Ted's arm] Get outta here! [chuckles]

[enter Marshall and Lily with smarte cartes holding their luggage]

MARSHALL: Ted! Robin!

TED: Marshall! [hugging Marshall] I'm so glad you and Lily could make it.

LILY: [while hugging Robin] Oh, Ted! We wouldn't have missed it for the world!

PENNY: Uncle Marshall! Aunt Lily! [runs to hug them] How was your flight?

LILY: Oh it was great! We got two first class seats and ate some excellent French cuisine! But don't get too jealous! Oh some bad news though. Daisy cannot make it to the wedding. She came down with a bad flu and decided to stay home and recover. And Marshall Jr. just started his new job as a television producer in LA and could not take vacation time at this point.

PENNY: Well, if he has to work, he has to work. I hope Daisy gets better soon.

LILY: She'll be better soon. It is one of those 48 hour bugs. To make up for the absence she has invited you and Johnny to visit her in San Francisco next month.

PENNY: Oh yeah, will do.

MARSHALL: Hey guys, let's head to the carousel for the flight from Logan. Marvin and his fiancé should have arrived from Boston just about now. Actually, guys, Marvin is marrying somebody we know pretty well.

[The gang travel with their smarte cartes to the carousel for a flight arriving from Boston]

Enter Marvin Jr. He has the similar size and build as his dad. His demeanor appears to be that of a very simple jolly person. Standing next to him is a slender woman of Indian descent slightly taller than Lily.

MARVIN Jr.: Dad! [hugs Marshall]

MARSHALL: Marv! How are you my son? How was the flight from Logan? I'm so glad you and Kamala could make it. [hugs Kamala]

ROBIN: So Marv, who is the lovely girl?

MARVIN JR: This is my fiancée, Kamala Singh. Kamala, these are my parents' friend, Robin and Ted Mosby.

ROBIN: So where did you two meet?

MARVIN JR and KAMALA: Wesleyan!

Flashback. Wesleyan dorm, 2030. We see a younger Marvin unpacking.

MARVIN JR'S VOICEOVER: It was about the same time you and Uncle Ted started dating officially. My door was open at my dorm and I was busy unpacking and setting up everything. That's when this beautiful Indian girl came in with a box and said…

KAMALA: [NB she grew up in the US, so she speaks with an American accent] Hey sweetie. Just moved in too?

MARVIN JR: Yeah, came here from New York.

KAMALA: Me too, actually from Brewster. You look like you're hungry. Would you like to have a samosa? My mother made these. And here's some chutney to dip in.

MARVIN JR: Sure. [eats samosa] Wow, this is amazing! May I have another one?

KAMALA: Sure.

[NOTE: Reader, the interpretation of "samosa" is open ended. You may take it literally as the popular triangular shaped Indian potato pastry snack, or figuratively as a euphemism for an illegal recreational drug.]

MARVIN JR: By the way, I'm Marvin Wait-For-It Eriksen. Nice to meet you.

KAMALA: I'm Kamala Singh. Hey, what you glaring at?

MARVIN JR: You are so beautiful, and I love your brown skin. It's so radiant like the sand. And your black hair like a raven.

KAMALA: You're so loveable. I think we'll be seeing more often.

MARVIN JR'S VOICEOVER: And so we'd spend quality time at each other's dorms, eating samosas, and tutoring each other in our core classes [see Kamala and Marvin Jr doing it in their dorm beds.] And whenever there weren't samosas available, we'd eat pakoras (also subject to reader's interpretation). And we have been inseparable since.

Flashforward March, 2034 Marvin Jr.'s dorm room. He and Kamala are looking at their laptops.

KAMALA'S VOICEOVER: Near the end of our senior year our eyes were filling with tears. We were checking notices of admissions from law schools for me and engineering Ph.D. programs for Kamala. Where we got admission to would determine whether or not we'd have to break up. Just as much as I didn't want it to happen, I knew from Uncle Ted's stories about his baker ex-girlfriend in Germany that lost distance relationships suck.

MARVIN JR.: Woohoo! I'm following in my dad's footsteps and going to Columbia Law!

KAMALA: Yes! I got into MIT! I don't have to think about it twice, I'm going there!

[Marvin Jr's eyes fill with tears]

KAMALA: Oh Marvy, don't cry! Boston is only 4 hours from New York. We can see each other on long weekends and holidays.

MARVIN JR: [sobbing] No it won't! My Uncle Ted had a bad experience with a long distance relationship with a baker in Germany.

KAMALA: Maybe it'll be different with us! [pauses] Wait a minute! Did you check Harvard Law School's reply yet?

MARVIN JR: Not yet, but I'm pretty sure it's a no.

KAMALA: Come on, check it out! [clicks a mouse]

MARVIN JR: [smiling] Oh my God! I didn't think I stood a chance! I'm moving to Boston with you! I'm going to Harvard Law School! Sorry, Dad!

Back to 2042 at the baggage claim

MARVIN JR: And we've been inseparable since.

Barney interrupts

BARNEY: Most people are excited to get into Harvard, mainly because of the name and the prestige. You got excited because you could still live with your maharani. Like father like son!

LILY: Barney! It's a beautiful love story! Plus it shows how two people of different cultures can come together in racial harmony.

BARNEY: Aww how cute! [Sarcastically]

Enter Ellie

ELLIE: Daddy! Be nice! For God's sake, you're 66 years old! Act your age! [to Marvin and Kamala] I think you two make a lovely couple. I see Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily in you two.

TED: Interestingly enough, we have an Indian friend who used to give us taxi and limo rides. His name was Ranjit.

KAMALA: That's my grandfather!

TED: What a coincidence! How is the old fellow!

[Marshall makes a noise like he's clearing his throat]

KAMALA: Oh he passed away peacefully in his sleep in 2037. He was 87 at the time.

TED: Oh I didn't know, I'm sorry! He was a good friend, and a great driver.

KAMALA: When I was in the city as a little girl, he'd always volunteer to drive me around to show me the key sites and land marks. And when I hire a taxi or limo, he still drives me, in a way.

TED: He'd have enjoyed driving us from here to our hotel in the Riviera.

ROBIN: Speaking of which, Ted, we gotta grab a taxi to the station. Otherwise we're gonna miss the train ride to the hotel.

TED: Okay, let's go. Continue the story.

[The gang walks away and grabs a mini van cab]

KAMALA: When I went to help scatter Grandpa's ashes in the Ganges, Marv couldn't bear the thought of me being away for 3 weeks, so he got his visa processed and joined me.

MARVIN JR: After the funeral. I help her with her grief therapy by touring New Delhi, Agra, Rajasthan, etc. They're beautiful places, Uncle Ted and the archicture is fascinating. I love curry and all also. We plan on going again on a happier note, our honeymoon.

KAMALA: He is so much immersed in Indian culture, it's amazing. He's even teaching himself how to speak Hindi. The one thing we never agree on is movies. I love Bollywood movies but Marvy cannot stand.

MARVIN JR: It's a matter of principle, Uncle Ted, speaking as a copywright lawyer. They're usually blatant ripoffs of movies done in the first world nations, for example Weekend at Bernies. I remember seeing this one movie, where the plotline was good, but I just can't seem to figure out which movie it plagiarized. Here, a civil engineer in New Delhi goes to see a dermatologist to get a peacock tattoo removed from his back. He falls in love with the dermatologist, but later he finds out that she has a 6 year old son from a relationship with a cricket coach. The bumbling idiot of a civil engineer invites this cricket coach to his wedding to the dermatologist, but the dermatologist fall back in love again. She marries the cricket coach, and they move to Mumbai to live happily ever after. Uncle Ted, Aunt Robin, do you have any idea which movie it's a rip-off of?

[Ted and Robin's jaws drop]

BARNEY: [muttering under his breath] What the kiss? (he didn't say 'kiss')

TED: [still in shock] I have no idea, Marv.

[Taxi arrives at train station]

MARSHALL: We've arrived. Let's go before miss the ride.

ROBIN: Yeah, hurry up guys.

As the walk into the station with their luggage, Ted now mutters under his breath.

TED: [muttering] What the kiss? What the kiss…(still not 'kiss')

End of Act 7.