Next chapter will be up in next 2-3 days. Got a huge thing tomorrow and after that, barring extremely good luck, I will have lots of time on my hand and I might write plenty more.

Let me know what you think of this chapter.

Chapter 57

I returned to my cot and caught Sidney watching me. I did not say anything and just sat down, looking towards BJ. He had dozed off. I got up again to take the book from his hands and cover him with a blanket. Under ordinary circumstances, it would have been pretty freaky to know that you were being observed by a psychiatrist but Sidney was not one of those psychiatrists and also, I knew that he did not observe. Even for a shrink, I was not afraid to call him a friend.

BJ was beginning to worry me now. He was not himself lately despite occasional signs of the guy I picked from the airport a life time ago, gave him his first up, close and personal introduction to this tiny conflict we so fondly called our war and then helped him into his first genuine bombing binge to numb what he had seen. His first visit to an advance first aid post was not any better. Neither was mine, as I recalled. But in all honesty, being one of the first few here, I had to train myself to keep down my food and bile when the reflex to vomit and collapse overpowered all other human instincts. Maybe it was easier back then? I could never be sure. I just felt that BJ had gotten the worst end of the deal and I could not help but feel scared of losing yet another friend to this damned war.

I could understand his desire to get drunk this early. It was Thanksgiving and cynical part of me questioned what exactly were we thanking for today, living in this bug infested hell hole, thousands of miles away from everything and everyone that mattered. That whole insane idea that boy, just let me finish my residency seemed like a fantasy out of some Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale. I had plans to travel all across US. Maybe even go visit my extended family in Quebec.

But they speak French.

My French isn't all that good.

Now, I was not sure if I would even get out of Crabapple Cove once I got back...

IF I got back.

"Had a long night?" I was suddenly shaken out of my reverie by Sidney. He was pointing towards BJ.

"I don't think so. I was not here last night."

"Oh. OK." Sidney raised his eyebrows in understanding and gave a tiny smile, nodding thoughtfully. This annoyed me; why? I had no idea.

"NOT that." I started a little loud before shushing myself, seeing BJ stir. "Not like that!" I whispered before getting off the cot and moving towards the door, getting my jacket, motioning Sidney to follow me.

"That?" He looked at me thoughtfully and I wondered if I was talking to my friend or my shrink.

What the hell.

"I know what you meant. Why does everyone think that that is all I ever do?"

"I cannot say anything on everyone else's behalf. You have to ask them."

I glared at him. He had a point and I sounded like I was protesting too much.

"Forget it!" I silently told him before starting to strode.

"Where are you going?" He joined me.

"Nowhere in particular. Why? You have some place in mind?" I asked mischievously, forgetting my earlier annoyance.

He just looked at me with a tiny smile on his face. Maybe he was wondering just as I was what the hell was wrong with me. One minute, I sounded like a petulant little kid and next, I ...flirted? I flirted with a shrink? Maybe I HAD lost my marbles.

"Don't over-analyze yourself, Hawkeye." He looked at me in silent amusement. I could see cogs turning behind his eyes and I did not give a damn right now. Or maybe I did? He still took me by surprise.

"Did not know you were psychic." I told him in a neutral tone.

"And I did not know you believed in clairvoyant stuff." I could hear his smile even if I couldn't see it.

"I don't."

"Then I am no psychic."

"Of course. Here on shrinking business?"

"Partly." He replied cryptically. I knew that soldiers went a little crazy around this time of the year. I wondered how Sidney did what he did. He was probably the most needed person next to a Priest in these parts of town and while priests had at least God whispering in their ears, what did shrinks have?

"Partly? So you are gonna have some fun too? Never figured you to be the one looking for fun."

"I am a married man, Hawkeye!" He smilingly chastised me.

"Sorry." I smiled too. Sun was shining but air had a bite to it. It was too soon to even have flurries here but considering the snow from earlier this week, this winter was going to be a mighty monster, I was sure.

"Hawkeye!"

"Yeah, Sidney?"

"HELLO SIDNEY!" Father Mulcahy yelled loudly from a short distance away, waving his hands, walking towards us.

"Hello Father Mulcahy."

"Hello Father." I greeted him too, wondering once again at his early – not so early – morning cheer.

"What a lovely day, Hawkeye, Sidney. I am glad to see you here."

I looked down at the slush I was standing in then looked at Father Mulcahy again, this time really wondering how he maintained his sunny disposition.

"Yes, Father. It is a lovely day. How is your work going?"

"It is good, actually. All I have to do is forgive some breaches of Sixth Commandment these days. Nothing too big. I am happy we are having a quiet Thanksgiving. Last few days have been bad in that regard, as you may know. Too many seriously injured soldiers." He shook his head sorrowfully. What he did not say but what I knew for a fact was all the Last Rites he might have had to give to the kids who could not make it. And the wills and the confessions. I did not envy him!

"Snow came in early this year, right?" Sindey asked no one in particular. I stood silently by, waiting for Sidney.

"Oh yeah. Last year it was not this beautiful." Father Mulcahy was cheerful and perhaps less than interested on dwelling on the ugly side of war right now.

"So is there going to be a real turkey?" Seemed Sidney was really interested in having this conversation.

"Why does everybody keep asking me that?" I looked up theatrically as Father Mulcahy chuckled before informing Sidney of our fate from last year.

"Ironic to celebrate Thanksgiving in a war zone." Sidney commented.

"Tell me about it." I replied sardonically hiding my bitterness with a smile.

"Well well, lets not do that, Hawkeye. There is plenty to be grateful for." I looked at him, knowing full well what he was going to say, part of me agreeing with him, another part getting angry, even furious, enraged at this whole scenario where, the upside was the upside only because it was touch better than the downside. Upside was supposed to be upside because it was UP and not because it was NOT DOWN.
I felt my mind wandering again and I excused myself from the two and walked towards the edge of the camp. Wind felt good against my face. The bite in the cold had a way of numbing the senses. The snow had all but melted and what was not melted was shoveled to the side, reminding me of a chocolate cake. I remembered Hermitage Hill back home and the sledding competitions we held every winter. I smiled at the memory.

P.S. There will be more of Sidney in next chapter or so. Let me know if you liked him.
I will see you guys later this week.