Hello everyone! I'm back with a new chapter (finally!). I have nothing in particular to say, I just wanted to thank you for your reviews/follows/favs and I hope you'll like this chapter :) Let me know what you think!

Jane leant her head on Dick's strong shoulder and closed her eyes, simply pretending to be asleep; she felt the need to just stay by her own, musing about the day.

Jane had just had an argument – no, THE argument – with her brother. She couldn't bias him: at least, she should've told him. She had never done anything without asking her twin a tip, or just telling him what was on her mind. Now, what she had done was a big mistake that would've endangered both. But what was done was done: Jane and Don had to get along with it.

Jane climbed sheepishly and uncomfortably on her bed, gingerly peeking out the men around her. The first thing she thought was they were disgusting and she inwardly wondered how could classy, smart women get married, accepting every side of their husband. Would've she still found attractive her husband after picking his nose? Were those folks just exceptions or men were supposed to stink, swear, punch all the time?

Jane grimaced bewildered.

She was worried about her brother. She needed him in that moment more than ever; even though he would've just glean at her, seething, Jane needed a familiar face somehow telling her everything was going to be alright. Jane shrugged helplessly, having enough of the mess around her and climbed down from her bed, decided to look for her brother.

''You, little redhead...what's your name again?'' a mocking voice called from behind.

''It's Malarkey. Jackson Malarkey'' she drawled. It was the first time she noticed her voice was not supposed to sound so high. She beat herself for not having considered the fact before, scared the man would've seen through her.

''Malarkey! Just like Don Malarkey?'' the tall man asked, reaching for her. He was tall, rugged, with large shoulders and massive arms. He looked at Jane with that mischievous grin that made her tense. He was irritating just at the sight.

''Yes, he's my twin brother'' Jane calmly countered, breathing hard. God knew she was not ready for that, not yet. She was not ready to start up a conversation with one of her fellows stinging to look masculine and, above all, pretending she found interesting all the things those pigs said or did.

''I'm lucky then! I was just looking for your brother, but I don't seem to find him'' the man explained calmly, then opening in a even more mischievous grin ''He owes me twenty bucks. Since I can't find him, you'll be the one paying the good Wild Bill'' the man said, stepping closer to her and challenging Jane with his stare.

So Jane now knew why she could not find her brother, and it wasn't her fault. The idiot had always had this penchant on gambling; it affected their mother terribly.

''Listen, I can't take the responsibility for my brother's bullshits. Just wait for him, he'll have to show up eventually anyway'' Jane answered coolly, hoping the man would've come to some good sense.

''Too easy. I need the cash now'' the man sputtered, stepping again closer to Jane ''give me that cash or I'll trade your organs for some bucks'' he threatened, and by the look on his face Jane could sadly tell he was not joking.

''Man, be reasonable, I...''

''What are you trying to say? That I'm not reasonable?! You...''

''Bill, hey, calm down'' a man from behind Bill's dreadful large shoulders said, nearing them ''the kid here knows nothing 'bout your stuff. Leave him in peace, c'me on'' he calmly stated, trying to part them.

Bill blatantly seemed to consider his friend's wise tip. ''You know Joe, I would leave this skum to his pitiful world'' he shrugged ''if it weren't Saturday, and I had my cash so I could go through pubs but, you know, Wild Bill always gets in some fun on Saturday nights!'' before Jane could depict what was about to happen, she found Wild Bill's fist on her cheek. The punch made her almost fall to the ground, and it left a wide red spot on her face. She literally felt her jaw cracking, her heart pulsating adrenaline.

''You wanted it, son of a bitch!'' she barked. It sounded like a threaten despite the fact that she didn't know what she would've done next. Fighting? Damn no, she hated wrestling. But something had to be done, at least to cover the high notes of her voice demonstrating she was actually a him. That was her very first challenge.

Jane closed her fists, threatening Bill with a seething glare.

Bill squinted at her, blatantly amused at the sight ''oh, but look at you. You look so adorable with your fist closed like this. And what will you do? Punch me?'' he mocked.

Jane literally flew on the man, following what her body told her to do. Before she knew it, she was engaged in her first fight. Weirdly, it was not so terrible as she thought: it was actually terrifying, feeling her every cells pumping adrenaline and a power she had never experienced in a lifetime. She felt alive and she knew she was doing good, lashing out at Bill properly and taking his lumps. A group gathered around them: some tried to stop them, some others prodded them. Too focused on her newly acquired fans, Jane didn't see Bill's strong fist coming; that one sent her to the ground, almost senseless.

The man who first tried to help her crouched next to her ''hey man, are you still with us?'' he asked worriedly ''hey, buddy? It's going to be alright. Ice! Ice now!'' he ordered at someone behind him ''Now Toye is going to take care of you, alright?''

Jane nodded in response.

Then, everybody in the room shut up, instantly. Even Bill – in bad condition but still standing – stepped back.

''What's going on here?'' a calm, stoic voice asked from her behind. No one sputtered a word.

''Private Toye? What's wrong with this trooper?''

''Nothing sir, he's sick but he'll be fine'' Toye promptly countered.

Jane heard the man's footsteps approaching her and saw him squatting next to her and Toye. The man – red hair, freckles all over his face and dreamy cerulean eyes – studied her face carefully and then gleaned at Toye.

''What happened, son?'' he said tenderly ''who did this to you?''

Jane felt everybody's eyes on her: Toye squinted at her while Bill, from behind, kept his head low but wearing an expression that said it all: ''I know you're not man enough to shut that fucking mouth.''

''No one. I just felt from my bed. Toye and Guarnere are trying to help me'' Jane adjusted her view: the red hair soldier was an officer ''sir'', she added. She decided not to betray them, for their and her own sake. Bill sighed in relief as he acknowledged he would've escaped another rebuke.

''Is it true?'' the red head asked looking at Toye and Guarnere.

''Yessir'' they replied in a echo. The red head officer looked them up and down, sure they were all lying.

''Alright then. Private...?''

''Malarkey, sir'' Jane sheepishly replied.

''Private Malarkey, I'll carry you to the Aid Station. Next time, try to be more careful'' he said grinning, glaring at Bill.

''Sure, sir.''

The red head officer helped her on her knees; in the act, Jane managed to notice the name on his uniform: ''Winters.'' It just fit well to him, Jane thought.

Knowing that she had earned Bill and Toye's trust for the moment, Jane left her barrack helped by the handsome officer.

''Is it your first day here, Private?''

''My second day, sir.''

''Have you already been training?''

''Yes sir, this morning.''

''You'll need to work hard, Private. The paratroopers are demanding. We need our men to be strong, prepared, and able to defend themselves'' Winters stated, having a dig at her.

Jane shrugged, embarrassed ''I can fend myself, sir.''

''I actually can tell you can't, Private Malarkey. But it's a beginning. You'll be the finest soldier this Company can claim to have. You already have what it takes to be it'' he stated proudly, smiling at Jane. ''Won't you ask me what it is?'' Winters teased, smiling playfully at her.

''What it is, sir?'' she repeated playfully in return, feeling the conversation on a friendly mode now.

''You're faithful. You didn't betray the man that beat you up and that you've met only two days ago.''

''I didn't even know his name till tonight, sir'' Jane snickered, avoiding her the flame she felt on her cheeks.

''It's remarkable. We'll work hard – together – to make a great man out of you, Private Malarkey.''

Winters stated as a matter-of-fact, sure he would've succeeded in the task and sure he was talking to a man; he had only to make Jane great. Jane knew the Lieutenant would've constricted her to do of her best, to be a better – a greater – person. It came to her, instead, to become a man.

When she enlisted, Jane Malarkey knew she could've not kept being a woman, but still she was one. On that day, she realized she could not be Jane anymore.

She could not fend herself. She didn't stink, she loved taking baths, eating with fork and knife, she hated cursing, she didn't say ''fucking'' a lot.

On that day, everything began.

On that day, Jane started her way to be Jackson. And from the way she had fought back Bill's range, she could tell it was a good beginning.

Everything had changed from that day. Jackson took over Jane surprisingly easily. In a few weeks, Jane was a far though and she started to think of her like she actually was a male. Sometimes, she felt the need to just pee wherever she wanted like her fellows did, promptly recalling she didn't have what it took. Jackson felt normal. Hanging out with Bill Guarnere and Joe Toye earned him the respect from the rest of the Company. Lieutenant Winters had a penchant on him, always spurring and buoying him. Jackson didn't fear Lieutenant Sobel's punishments. He had made it. Jackson became a paratrooper: a task so many men failed to reach.

Now, Joe would've not talked to her for unknown reasons. From one day to the other, he had stopped talking to her, glancing at her whenever she was around. When she tried to talk to him he fended her off and looked at her seething, in a inexplicable hatred and disgust. Jane decided she woud've waited for Bill to come back: she had other troubles on her mind and from the way Joe glared at her, she knew she had to give him time.

Winters – Dick, she could call him Dick – was next to her, in Paris. After all the things they went through, they came to this: he kissed her and now they were headed to his hotel.

Jane had always felt some kind of attraction for the Captain but she never really considered being with him in that way in the reality. It was weird, wrongful – since he was her superior and there was a war out there – but still so right, for unknown reason.

Dick patted tenderly on her naked leg ''Jane, wake up. It's the last stop. We missed ours, we'll have to walk for a while.''

''What?'' she asked bewildered with a sleepy tone.

''We missed our stop.''

''How come?'' she exclaimed ''were you asleep, too?''

Dick shrugged, inexplicably embarrassed.''Sort of.''

''Oh. Ok, let's go.''

When they left the station, there was a kid at the entrance who nodded at Dick and saluted him, which Dick returned. Jane observed intrigued, but she decided to let it go.

On their way to Dick's hotel, no one sputtered a word. There was embarrassment and, probably, none of them knew where the night – or even the whole situation – would've ended.

Jane climbed heavily each rung to Dick's room. Dick looked for the keys in his pocket and then unlocked the door: to Jane, that time felt like an eternity.

Dick turned on the lights, inviting her to enter and then closing the door at her back. She stepped inside, sheepishly, cautiously, like a Kraut was about to jump from a corner and shoot at them. There was no reason to smell danger, there, they were so far from the trench now: still, Jane was wired just like she was in a foxhole, waiting for the enemy to come and embracing her rifle.

Dick squirmed at her, intrigued ''so, I'll find you something to wear for the night, alright?''

''Yeah'' she promptly replied, tensed '' one of your shirts will be fine.''

Dick hurriedly looked for a shirt in the small luggage he carried and handed it to her. He then added he needed to take a bath.

''Sure'' Jane exclaimed, relieved she would've had some time to broad about what to do – and what not to.

Jane considered to just crawl in the bed and pretend to be asleep. Maybe he would've waken her up and so she would've been safe; for the night, at least, since in the morning they would've woken up, she should've woken up, and the problem would've come up anyway.

Jane had to think. She found herself madly whispering, considering the pros and cons. She was going mad. Then, she looked at the door that separated the bedroom from the bathroom: inside there, Dick was relaxing in the tube, probably with his eyes closed, escaping from the world. Jane could not avoid her thoughts wandering to imagine Dick's body, covered by the water; she guessed his whole body was covered by adorable freckles. She had already seen him shirtless, she knew how his back – muscular – looked like. She also knew his back ended in a good shaped butt, which continued with white, long legs covered by red hair. Dick Winters didn't have to get undress to look spectacular.

Jane thought whether she had to take a decision, she had to see, to try: seeing him, being in such situation would've told her what she really wanted to do.

She got up from the bed and reached for the door, placing delicately her hand on grip, hesitating.

The bathroom was teeming with vapor so she struggled to adjust her view to catch the tube. There, she found him as she had imagined: Dick kept his eyes closed, his head leaned against the tube, his hand posed on the bridge; he was completely out of the world that he hadn't even noticed she was there.

Jane could not restrain a smile: he look so peaceful she felt guilty she was not interrupting. She stepped closer, silently, cautiously, so Dick would've not noticed her presence.

She bit her lower lip, already regretting her bad idea: he was still her superior and the fact he invited her in his hotel room didn't necessarily mean anything. It was so unprincipled of her violating his intimacy and it was not typically her. However, call it the curiosity of an innocent, but she didn't leave: instead, she stepped even closer. Her heavy breathe made Dick open his eyes abruptly but, instead of being bewildered, he smiled tenderly at her.

''You need something?''

Jane squirmed, turning red in her cheeks ''I...actually I wanted to know how long your bath will take...I'm tired. I want to sleep'' Jane manged to reply.

Dick's mouth curled in a tender smile. He found her so beautiful, all embarrassed. Dick couldn't figure out why she did enter and he didn't care: he thought she was just too pretty standing there with her cheeks aflame, sheepishly lowering her head.

''I'm coming'' he replied, turning back to take his towel. Jane was taken aback when she beheld him raising from the bath-tube, revealing what the water was properly covering before. On instinct, she turned back, covering her eyes with her hand.

''You could warn me!'' she cried nervously, hearing Dick snickering from behind.

''Well I'm sorry, I thought you got used to see men naked after a shower'' he teased.

''Well, I'm not used to you! You're still my superior and I think it's inappropriate of yours revealing your obscenities!'' she fast scolded, feeling her cheeks literally burning. Damn, she wanted to disappear!

''Alright, alright, relax'' he said, patting her on her shoulder while he manged to cover his body with the towel ''you don't have to say all this, really. Moreover, you are the curious one'' he snickered with a boyish smile.

''I just wanted to ask you...''

''Really, you don't have to do that'' Dick interrupted seriously, looking right in her eyes ''Come on, let's go to bed'' and saying this, he took her hand, guiding her to the bed.

The thing was, Jane hadn't really come to terms with what she was supposed to do. Maybe, he would've not done nothing and she was just beating herself up something that didn't even exist.

When Dick took both her hands in his, guiding her to him and meeting her lips with hers, Jane's mind went blank soon enough she realized where all that was going to.

Dick put his hand behind her back, guiding her even more into him. Jane couldn't avoid her hands to wander on his naked back and on his magnificently shaped butt, only covered by the white towel. Before she could spit that it was totally wrong, she found Dick's tongue arguing with hers, his mouth literally devouring hers. His hands went from caressing her face to caressing her back, then pulling her hips close to him,starting to rhythmically rocking his hips with hers. Jane heard both their breathes getting heavier; the moment she heard a moan coming from Dick's throat, she knew she was losing it here and there. Dick guided her toward the bed, pushing her to it.

''Dick, I...'' she could not reach him, or at least he would've not let her reach him. Her words were cut by his bites on her neck.

''Oh, God...'' she moaned, giving up to him and collapsing on the bed. He promptly joined climbing on her, constricting her to spread her legs.

''Dick, listen to me'' she stated, this time seriously, while Dick focused on her collarbone. Somehow, she reached him.

''Hmm?'' he huffed.

''I need to tell you something.''

Dick stopped kissing her to look at her, blatantly worried.

''I have never...Never'' she whispered avoiding his stare.

''Oh'' Dick exclaimed ''so you won't. I see that.'' Dick reassured, caressing her face tenderly and printing a kiss on her cheek ''I'm good with that, really. I don't want to force things.''

Jane grimaced ''it's that. You see, I don't want to go further...not till I will understand where all this will go.''

Dick looked intrigued at her ''what do you mean?''

''I mean, we'll be back at Mourmelon by tomorrow afternoon and everything may fade away. I don't know.''

''Why should it fade away?'' Dick asked upset ''this is real, Jane. At least for me. You are a part of me. Nothing will change when we'll be back on Mourmelon'' he stated seriously ''well, maybe I won't be able to do this'' he snickered, biting passionately her neck and eliciting a chuckle from her ''but everything will be the same. I want you by my side just like you did for all this time.''

Jane knew her eyes were sparkling. She could not believe to hear those words from him. She had been known Winters for two years and she had soon started to believe he was a good leader, good tempered but a total mess when it came to personal and intimate relationship. The only one he let inside his life was Lewis Nixon, his shadow. Truth was no one ever thought of Winters emotionally involved with someone. He was always there, always close, but actually he wasn't. He was always on another stage, he was interested but not really, worried but calm. Now, he was totally melting in front of her, looking at lovely, lustily and with a dreamy look.

''This doesn't mean we have to force things, anyway'' Dick said, climbing down from her ''we can just sleep. Holding you in my arms will be just perfect for me.'' Dick offered her his arms which Jane accepted, crawling closer into his grip.

The following day, they would've got back at the base and to their lives. However, Jane knew she could count on someone else, now. He was another reason to get through the days, get through the war. And she was downright curious to see what was coming next.

''Hey Malark, how's your eye?''

''It will heal'' Jackson shrugged ''Your friend's a tough one, but I'm tough too'' he snickered.

''Yeah, we saw it'' Joe exclaimed, patting on the soldier's shoulder ''well, don't be hard on Bill. He was just bored but he's a good man. And we appreciated how you handled it with Winters. It was nice from you'' he stated, pleasingly grateful.

''It was fine. I didn't want to put you in some worthless trouble. And I can handle everything by myself.''

''Well, you're a real tough, Malarkey'' he drawled smiling gently at him ''well, what are you up to for tonight?''

''Uhm, nothing I guess. Why?''

''There's a pub Bill and I wanted to check. They say the booze is cheap. What'd you say about joining us?''

Jackson really considered the offer. He knew where these things went: men got drunk, told some dirty jokes and engaged in bar fights. He was doing good, trying to act as masculine as he could, but was he really ready for this? The answer was: no, he wasn't. He was not ready to handle hands spanking some girl's butt, he was not ready for the dirty jokes. He would've said no, thank you, if it weren't for the gentleness the soldier – Joe Toye – was showing to him. Jackson did not manage to have friends yet, and he needed some. He knew it was crucial to have someone watching over his back on a battle and, if asked, Jackson would've preferred Joe Toye and Bill Guarnere's protection.

''Why not.''

Jane – back with her uniform – saluted Dick in his office printing a fast kiss on his lips. The cruel reality was waiting for her out there and she had to face it.

With Bill come back from the hospital, she hoped Joe would've listened to her.

''What if he just runs amok out of the pub?'' Jackson asked fretfully walking by Bill's side.

''He won't, Malarkey. Trust me.'' Bill encouraged ''and please, stop obsessing me. I've just come back from the hospital, for Christ's sake!''

Jackson chuckled playfully ''Oh, I'm downright sorry, Bill. I didn't figure out you're an old man now'' he snickered, nudging at Bill's arm and receiving a grimace in return.

When they arrived at the pub where Bill and Joe were supposed to meet, Jackson felt inexplicably alone, as he was about to fight a real battle. He did know nothing about Joe's reasons so he'd not been able to prepare his own speech. He was utterly unprepared to what was about to happen.

Bill entered the pub for first, followed by Jackson who was perfectly hidden behind Bill's rugged figure. When Joe first caught Bill's sight, he got up from his chair and neared his friend with a bright smile which disappeared when he noticed Jackson.

''What the heck is he doing here?'' Joe barked looking daggers at Bill ''You duped me!''

''Joe, it isn't his fault, I-'' Jackson tried to defend his friend stepping by his side.

''You just shut up! I don't wanna hear a single word out of your dirty mouth!'' Joe boomed, pointing his finger to Jackson's nose. Jackson, trembling, stepped away from him, not feeling his legs anymore.

''Joe, you asshole. Can you be reasonable for just once your life?'' Bill stated firmly, trying to be as neutral as he could ''Listen, Jackson here wants only to know why the hell you decided your friendship has to come to an end. You know, we just want to comprehend how idiot you are'' he continued wryly, trying to get his friend to calm down in which he apparently succeeded. When Bill knew he had caught Joe's attention, he motioned him the chair ''now sit, and talk''.

Joe grimaced and glared at Jackson but he cautiously sat on the chair, followed by Bill and Jackson.

Joe and Jackson exchanged soulful looks for what seemed to be an eternity: Joe, gritting and fighting his anger, kept looking daggers at his ex best friend while Jackson felt tears at his eyes, fighting back the urge to just run away from there or hug close Joe.

Bill stared at them discouraged and helplessly drawled ''okay, now that you've been both exchanging war looks, you can start to talk. Joe, you go first.''

Joe looked away, frowned, too stubborn to make the first move. Jackson, hopelessly, implored: ''Please, Joe. I don't want our friendship to end but if it has to, I wanna know where I fucked all up.''

''Yeah, let's start with the verb you used: fuck!'' Joe spitted, causing Bill and Jackson to look at each other bewildered.

''What the hell are you saying, buddy? Did our Jackson steal your girl or something?'' Bill asked both ironically and astonished.

''Jackson can't steal my girls, since the asshole here's a fucking queer!'' Joe accused booming, disgusted at the picture still set in his mind of Jackson and Captain Winters' kiss.

''What the hell you're talking about?! You're accusing me of being a queer?'' Jackson barked, boiling over at hearing such unfounded abuse from his friend ''Prove it!''

''Don't even try to deny it! I saw everything! You corrupted Captain Winters! I saw you kissing him in his office!''

Jackson first thought at that was ''how''. Then, a smirk appeared on his face and he couldn't keep the word ''actually, it was him kissing me'', he challenged. Bill slapped his insolence on his shoulder and gave him a ''what the fuck'' look.

Joe, in return, looked at him agape, sure he was about to throw up his lunch. ''You're a fucking queer!'' he was only able to proffer.

Jackson shrugged, trying to regain his composure. Now, he knew Joe's reasons and he admitted they were good ones. Moreover, Jackson perfectly knew what he was supposed to do to clear the things up: he had to tell Joe the truth.

''Joe, listen to me, will you?'' Jackson said quietly trying to stare right in Joe's seething eyes ''I'm not a queer, you can trust me. But you deserve an explanation for what you've seen.''

There were a billions things Joe could've demurred, but instead he just shut up. Joe still hoped there was a way they could save their friendship; he still knew he cared about Jackson despite what he thought he was.

''Captain Winters, Dick, kissed me and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm a woman, Joe'' Jackson said almost in a whisper with eyes full of emotions: hope, fear and serenity since he had just taken a load off his mind.

Joe stared at him in dismay, agape, askance. Bill himself sighed in relief since he would've not felt like lying to his friend anymore.

''Joe, you have to believe me. My real name is Jane, Jane Malarkey'' Jackson tried again, fighting the urge to reach for Joe's hand. Joe, still astounded and not knowing what to say, looked at Bill. ''Did you know it?''

Bill sighed, shrugging ''yeah, buddy. I discovered it by myself.''

Joe got up abruptly and Jackson and Bill looked at each other not knowing what their friend was about to do.

''You lied to me, for all these years. I trusted you, you were my best friend'' Joe then whispered in a painful lament, looking down unable to stare into his best friend's eyes.

''Joe, you have to understand I could not tell my secret to anymore. You heard Bill, he discovered by-''

''You had to tell it to me! I trusted you with all myself, with all my life! I would give my life for yours, Jackson! I deserved to know who you are!'' Joe barked staring now at Jackson with regretful eyes while his face crumpled.

''Joe, I'm so sorry'' Jackson whispered, heartsick at realizing how hurt his friend was. Jackson realized Joe had now the right reasons to be mad at him, and he could do nothing about it. He had dismayed him by keeping the most important thing of his life away from him. Joe Toye had always been the reasonable one, passionate and trustful, the best friend Jackson could've ever claimed to have. He would've literally risked his life for his, and what Jackson gave him in return was a bag full of lies. How stupid of him was thinking that Joe – and Bill – would've not kept his secret or that they would've looked at him differently whether they knew before. He should've listened to Bill's suggestion when he found out about him: he should've told it to Joe, in that moment.

Bill felt uncomfortable staring at his best friends crumpling in disappointment and sadness so he felt the urge to break the ice: ''So, everything's clear now, truth is out and we can go back to our lives and have a pint all together! You Joe, you will forgive Jackson so we can be the three musketeers again'' he hopefully exclaimed, patting on Joe's shoulder.

''No'' Joe stated turning to Jackson ''You're not a queer, so I forgive you. But nothing is going to be the same, not anymore'' he whispered and, giving one last dejected look to Jackson, left the pub.

Jackson collapsed on the chair again in the moment Joe was out of the door and rubbed both his hands through his hair.

''Oh Bill, I'm a total mess!'' he moaned, fighting back the tears.

''Don't listen to him. He will understand, give him time. Time heals everything.''