Hang in there, children. Don't hate me for being so tediously prolific. Its easier to write a twenty line summary than to put it in words. I hope you are not as tired of the length as I am and if you are, unlike me, you can quit though I would rather you didn't!

Happy reading.

Chapter 60

I entered the bar a little after BJ. Standing outside in the cold was not one of my smarter moves but I did not want him to think I was following him. He did notice what I did with the still earlier and it was wise for me to take it slowly though I was not sure I had the muscles that performed the miracle called 'tact'. Finally, after an eternity that lasted all of one minute, I walked in, consequences be damned.

There was pandemonium in there. Standing outside only made me more conspicuous because in this din, I didn't know if anybody could keep track of anybody other than the person right in front of him.

BJ was sitting at the back, nursing a beer. On the same table, Potter, Sidney and Father Mulcahy were sitting as well and they were in a serious discussion from the looks of it. Deciding to wait for a few minutes before joining them, I went to the counter and settled on a stool.

"Hello Captain Pierce."

"Hey Igor."

"Gin?"

"Nah! Ummm..." Picking a girl or a drink had never been a challenge for me. I wondered at the changes before I was brought out of my reverie.

"Two Grape Nehis, Igor!" I heard the squeaky voice from left of the field before one Grape Nehi landed squarely in front of me. Radar sat down next to me.

"Thanks kid." I smiled as I looked dubiously at the proffered drink.

"I kinda figured you wouldn't be drinking. You OK with this?" He pointed towards the bottle.

"Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. I was actually wondering what to get before you came and solved my problem." I smiled before braving a sip. I had been pretty nasty to Radar last few weeks and did not have the stomach to turn him down now. I could feel his smile and happiness.

Somebody was meddling with the juke box and the song was stuck on Doris Day crooning about wands and charms and eyes and violins. Whoever said that it was better to be loved and then lose it than to never be loved surely had some funny drugs in his system. The only thing worse than losing it after having it was to lose it twice. In my opinion, not being loved was a better proposition than losing it later.

"Mom said hello to you." Radar spoke, most likely making conversation.

"She called? How is she doing?"

"No. I got her letter. She sent you Season's greetings. She is fine. They need another hand to work the farm. One of the cows fell sick and they had to get the vet from Oskaloosa to have her looked."

"I am sorry to hear that, Radar. Tell her I asked about her too. And give her my greetings as well."

"Alright. I will write her after the party and tell her. You give me your letter as well."

"Uh, about that, Radar! I need...Um, the thing is, I am writing to BJ's wife, Peg. You are not gonna tell him, alright? Or he will kill me." Radar looked at me funnily as if I had told him I was going to have a baby.

"To Missus Hunnicut?" Words stumbled out of his mouth.

"Keep it together, Radar! I'm not gonna...ya know! Just writing her so she would write him and uhhh, ya know, make him feel better or something."

"Oh. Oh right. You scare me sometimes, Hawkeye!" Radar breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe my reputation really had gotten out of hand. So much the better, I smiled to myself. It could not really hurt, I figured. I decided to make Radar uncomfortable.

"You did not think...ya know? About me and uhhh..." I added right amount of pauses and deliberation to my cryptic sentence and Radar flushed red.

"NO. No, no never. Never Hawkeye." He stuttered and I chuckled at his discomfort. "Boy! Sometimes you are really something, Hawkeye. God!" He seethed for a few seconds and I squeezed his cheeks that further reddened his already blushed appearance. I laughed heartily at this spectre.

"BOY! Will you cut that out?" He got off the stool but I held him there.

"I was joking, Radar." I chuckled again.

He continued pouting.

"Rada-a-a-r! If you don't stop pouting, I'll have to kiss and make it better."

He made a face as if I made him swallow a bunch of flies.

"Gosh, Hawkeye! Sometimes..." He shook his head getting out of my immediate reach. I smiled at his antics.

"Radar, I need to send two more letters..." And then I went quiet, remembering I had no stamps. I could send it postage due to Dad. Well, I could send it to Peg like that too but guess it was not really a very nice thing to do.

He was looking at me then showed his superpowers, "You need stamps. I have them."

"But you didn't have any earlier."

"Yeah. Now I...Oh no!" I was surprised by his exclamation of distasteful surprise before I found – heard – the cause.

"Corporal O'Reilly!" The decibel level was barely in the safe range without blowing my tympanic membrane so I put my hand over the ear towards Margaret.

"Major, can't a man have his drink in peace around here?" I asked her sarcastically.

"Oh stuff it, Pierce! Radar, I need you to put a call through for me."

"But Major..." Radar started whining before he was cut short, no pun intended.

"NOW, CORPORAL." Even with the din around us, her voice carried far enough, ceasing most all activity around us. Good thing we did not have an expectant mother or she would have dropped her baby right here on the dance floor.

"Yes Sir...Major... Madam... Ma'am Sir..." Radar saluted with his left hand holding his bottle of Nehi in his right. Margaret scoffed some more, shaking her head in dismay before leaving the club, Radar in her tow, quite literally. I briefly wondered about the whole commotion before remembering we were expecting a guest, one future Mr. Houlihan and he hadn't shown up yet.

Feeling sorry for Margaret and sorrier for Radar and even that out-of-his-league idiot Margaret had decided to marry, I shook my head as I paid for the two bottles of dubious looking fluid that made Radar so happy, I walked towards the table where BJ and company were sitting.

"Howdy stranger!" BJ chimed in.

"Good to see ya here, Pierce. Seems Radar got you something to drink." Potter smiled, his eyes shining more than usual.

"Hello Hawkeye!" Father Mulcahy welcomed me and Sidney just gave me an amused smile from underneath his mustache.

"Hello Col., Father. Yeah. I was not sure what to get and he helped me out."

"I thought you were not coming."

"I had a change of heart," I said pointing towards my drink. Pulling a chair for myself, I sat with them.

"What was the racket all about?" Potter asked me.

"Racket? Oh, that? Margaret's bitter half was expected..." I stopped as Potter cut me off with an admonishing 'Pierce!'. "Margaret was expecting future Mr. Houlihan...What?" His second admonishing 'Pierce' was unfair. BJ and Sidney agreed with me by chuckling at Donald Colonel Penobscott's rechristening and Fr. Mulcahy smiled. So did Potter but he was too busy being under the influence right now. Besides, he was probably trying to be the Southerm Gentleman I wasn't.

"Alright! Donald Colonel Penobscott. That OK, Dad?" I looked at Col. Potter while rest of the table just chortled. They hadn't been here for over an hour and were already drunk. Potter looked at me balefully.

"Oh fine! Col. Whatshisname was supposed to be here and since he isn't, I doubt he will be able to walk again after Margaret's next RnR. Maybe we find him in a body cast for all I know."

"So what was Radar's fault?" BJ asked and Potter nodded at that question.

"Search me, fella. My guess is that he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Anybody interested in poker? I need some money for the children in the orphanage." Whether Fr. Mulcahy was trying to change the subject or really raise some dough for those kids, I could never be sure. I smiled at his tact though.