CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
Looking back I wasn't upset with Edward and the choice that he made from abstaining. When you took the sex out of our relationship it forced us to find other ways to be intimate with one another. In fact I challenge you to try it. Take sex out of your relationship equation for a good deal of time and see how you grow as a couple.
Edward said he would make it worth my while and boy did I work him when we finally did start back up again. It still surprises me to this day that I didn't break Edward on our honeymoon but after being apart so long; I honestly felt like I could never be satiated.
But a lot had to happen before we could get to that event in our lives. I spent the next couple of days with my family. I managed to find a greater apology for Jacob and he didn't give me too much hell for it. I was able to spend time with my girls. Although before I was able to do so I received a very stern talking to for my past actions with Edward.
"I'm not saying that I expect you and Uncle Edward to always act like adults. I get it. Sometimes you need a break but can you at least try to act mature when I have friends over next time. You have no idea the amount of misdirection I had to use to get Tiana off the subject. I even sacrificed my privacy and told her about my new crush just so she would get off the topic of you and Uncle Edward….acting like monkeys."
I sat on the couch while Savannah paced up and back; scolding me. I certainly hoped that Edward received the same talk because if not, that wasn't fair.
"I understand. Edward and I will refrain from acting like monkeys when your friends are around."
"Thank you. You're just lucky that Gracie is still too young to be traumatized." She replied.
"Well, at least we are helping you with more material for your future shrink." I teased.
"Very funny mom." She rolled her eyes.
"Okay, so can we go now?" I asked. We were supposed to be on our way to her riding lesson but she wanted to have this serious talk first. Riding with Savannah was such a treat. I hadn't been in so long and it was nice to see her up on her horse like she was royalty or something. She had her lesson and then we went for a ride together. Gracie wanted to come with but I was still too worried that at her age she wouldn't be able to handle a horse by herself with images of Gone with the Wind flashing through my mind; I made her ride with me.
I had told Stefan Vladic that I would come into work on Thursday. For some reason I was kind of dreading it. I had only a few days off since the Academy Awards and I really liked it. I loved the stress free environment; being able to spend time with my friends and family. I had asked my mom to come to dinner on Saturday since I hadn't seen her in a while. She sounded different on the phone and I was starting to worry about her.
There was just one more thing I wanted to fit in before I headed off to Warner Bros. on Thursday. Something that had been on my heart recently so I made plans to have breakfast with Alice at her house. Well, I didn't make the plan for breakfast; I was just trying to invite myself over for tea but then she made this whole big deal about starting my morning off right.
Rose was right about Alice. Since she had baby Jackson; she looked different, acted different; it was a whole new Alice.
"You just….look so incredibly happy." I couldn't stop marveling.
"I am. I mean before I had Jackson I was happy but then after I feel…alive like everything I was before wasn't me and my life was waiting for this moment. Oh Bella, I wish you could feel what I feel. My marriage is stronger. I have the most amazing family." She gushed.
"Wow." I paused. "Rose said that you were no longer…"
"Being punished?" she laughed. "It's part of the doctrine. I thought you would have read that part."
"Guess I never made it past the page that said I was supposed to have sex with Jacob and marry him in the event of Edward's demise."
"I wish you would have come to me. I would have told you that it wasn't practiced. I feel bad that you were probably having some panic attack over some tradition that wasn't used anymore. Jasper let me read the book long before you ever were given your copy. He said that he wanted me to have a full understanding of what I was signing up for before we got married. He would discuss any part that gave me question and I am probably just as well versed in the Tria Fata lore as the boys are."
"I had no idea…I mean this wasn't something you could have told me about during all those months we stayed in Italy together." I teased.
"No, Bella. That was for Edward to do. How have you and Edward been? I know he's been really worried about you."
"We…are…getting better." I answered awkwardly. "I don't know. I agreed to allow punishment back into our relationship as long as he doesn't hurt me but I…" I tried to wave the tears away.
"Bella, why aren't you thinking about marriage? I know. The boys talk and I understand that the past month and a half have been hard for you but…shouldn't you at least be thinking about it?"
"I do think about it. I think about it every day, all day long. I feel Edward's disappointment in me and his hopes that I dash every minute I wait but I…just can't….wrap my head around it. I want to marry Edward but I'm scared. I want everything good in life for Edward. He deserves the best; not this…" I gestured to myself, "He doesn't need something broken."
"You know sometimes Swan; I just want to hit you! God, how stupid are you?" Alice fumed. "It's his job to love you even when you're broken. What do you think marriage is all about? Do you think that you are the only one that will ever have issues? He will need you as much as you need him. Someday something could happen to Edward and he could feel lost, depressed, in pain and what would you do? Are you going to just give up on him because he feels that you deserve something better? There will never be anything better than you for him and him for you. So pull your head out of your ass already."
I was startled by Alice's words and passion behind them.
"Uh….um…." I tried.
"Uh…um… go ahead and try to come back at me with some sort of rebuttal. You can't because you know I'm right and there is nothing you can say that will tear down my argument." She challenged.
"No. I have no rebuttal." I mumbled.
"Well then now that you can finally see the light from your ass/head extraction; tell me what you plan to do to get down that damn aisle already."
I breathed out a long breath.
"What's it going to take, Swan." She pushed.
"Why are you calling me Swan all the sudden, Whitlock?" I snapped.
"Because I am done babying you. No more baby Bella. Grow up."
"I thought you were supposed to be nicer now that you are a mom." I grumbled.
"Do you feel like a nicer person being a mother? Of course not because once you have the responsibility for someone else's life; you don't have time for bull shit and being a mother teaches you to be a stronger human being because the second that someone messes with your kid you better find the strength to be their advocate."
"How the hell did you manage to become so wise? I mean you were the girl who managed to get me to believe that taking a boat out to the middle of the lake was a good idea when you had no knowledge of how to even work the boat."
She laughed. "I know how to work the boat."
"You couldn't even figure out how to get the anchor up. My ass was sore for days for that little stunt."
"Your ass? Your ass would have been fine if you would have just shut the hell up and stayed out of sight." She argued.
"I didn't want you taking all the blame; sorry if I was trying to be a good friend."
"You would have been a better friend if you would have just done as I asked. You know that because of you Jasper went harder on me. I had extra weeks of restriction and three consecutive days of my ass being tore up. If you would have just stayed out of sight; I would have easily argued my sentence down to time served."
"Oooo three consecutive days; that's child's play. I once did a whole week of punishment and a month of restriction."
"Bella, I've been in this game far longer then you have. Do you really think that the boat incident was the harshest punishment I ever received." She brushed off.
"Are we really sitting here trying to one up each other on which of our guys made our ass redder?" I wondered.
She looked at me and then burst out into a fit of laughter. I couldn't hold back I had to join her and I think it was the first real hard laugh I had in months.
Spending time with Alice was far more therapeutic than I would have thought. It made me realize just how much I missed her friendship. I told her all about the big vacation that Edward and I were planning and hoped that she and Jasper would consider going with us for old times' sake.
I was greeted by Emma the moment I pulled into my parking space at the Warner studio. I told her on Sunday that I planned on taking a few days off so if she could just maintain things for a few days I would greatly appreciate it. While I was gone she had made some calls and helped set up a meeting for a publicist. I didn't really want a publicist but everyone meaning Edward, Seth and Stefan strongly recommended it so I agreed to finally sit down with one and see if we could get along. After my horrible experience with Edward's publicity team I was a tad weary on the idea.
"So your meeting with Mr. Vladic is at three p.m. and I have the conference room all set up for your meeting with Trisha Messer."
"Who's Trisha Messer?" I asked.
"She's the publicist from Edward's publicity's firm. They can't have the same person representing you both because they don't want married couples being represented by the same person in case…" she didn't finish.
"In case we break up." I looked to her.
"Yeah. Anyway, she comes highly recommended and Edward wanted to know if you want him in the meeting."
I put my bags down in my cubicle and fired up the computer which was my usual routine.
"Edward." I called for him while eye balling my emails.
"Hey sweetie. How was your breakfast with Alice?" he asked pleasantly.
"Good…kind of weird…but you know that's Alice." I replied.
"Did you want me to join you for your meeting? I have time today."
"Up to you." I looked up to Edward, "Oh and by the way; I may have invited the Whitlock family to come along to Italy vacation 2009."
"Is that what we're calling it? I think we could come up with a better name; I mean we are in showbizness." He jested.
"Well, it's all I could come up with for now. You work on the name and I will work on the guest list."
"I hate to interrupt but Trisha's waiting." Emma cringed.
"Oh, that's right. Let's go." I said and we headed off to the conference room. Trisha was a very well put together lady as most people in this business are. She didn't have that fake feeling about her which was surprising because in this industry, publicists usually were the fakest people. Not that it's their fault; I imagine that having to kiss some celebrities ass all day, every day would make me pretty fake too.
The thing I liked about Trisha was she seemed like a no nonsense kind of woman. A tad strong but I respected that. I laid it out on the table after the customary greetings.
"I really don't want a publicist but some feel that I need to stop being stubborn and just bite the bullet and obtain one. I am going to go right out and say exactly the role I want this person to play. I understand that you have a job to do but I have more jobs than just the ones you will be representing. I am mother, a soon to be wife and I want to make it clear that I will not comment or whore out my future marriage or children in anyway. I will decide what publications or press I talk to and when I will talk to them. I will of course value your opinion since this is your job and I'm sure you are excellent at it but if I don't want to do something I expect you to respect that."
"Well, I assure you Miss Swan that I am here for you. I understand your conditions however I do think that you are in desperate need of someone like me. You haven't employed anyone yet and I can already tell you that with your rising popularity you cannot afford to waste any more time. It is my job to push public opinion in the direction you want it to go. I will be blunt, right public opinion of you is at an all-time high since your Grammy performance. It allowed the audience to get to know a personal side of you which is a positive but it can also be a negative. The more people want to know about a certain individual the more they will start to feel the right to know about your private life including your children and Edward. My suggestion for right now is that you need to do something to give the people a small taste but enough to satisfy their hunger. I can work with you to decide what questions you would feel comfortable answering because I think you need to do some form of print interview. Everything you have done so far has been minimal to the amount of press you should be doing at this point in your career."
"I don't necessarily want a whole lot of publicity. In fact I kind of like where I am at right now." I replied.
"Right now is okay. It could be a little better but the longer you hold out the more ferocious the tabloids and press will start getting and soon they will have no problem printing and publishing lies if only to get some sort rise out of you. Also I understand that you made a rather important professional bond with WMG and if you want that bond to remain strong then it will help to do some positive press." She suggested.
"I know." I concurred. "I also want to put out there that I don't plan on changing myself. I am not about to bend over backwards to please anyone by either dieting or changing my lifestyle in any form. What you see is what you get."
"I don't need to change anything about you. You already got where you are by being yourself. There is no need."
"All right then. I guess we can give this a go."
"Miss Swan." Trisha started.
"You can call me Bella. If we're going to be working together, you should call me Bella." I interjected.
"Bella, I know that you don't want your personal life out there much but there will be times that I may need to know some things so I can be informed of a situation so I have adequate time to spin it a certain direction."
"Well, I will take that into consideration and try not to make you work overtime; keeping my scandalous ways to my past." I kidded.
"Much appreciated."
A no nonsense woman.
"I think that went well." I said to Edward the moment we arrived back at his office.
"God Bella, you can be such a kitten and then turn right into a lion." He smirked.
"I…will take that as a compliment." I said unsure if it was.
"Yes. It's a compliment." He pulled me to him. "In fact it's not just in business when you have that super ability." He kissed right at the base of my neck and I pushed him away.
"No. No fair. Celibate Cullen is not allowed to rile up horny and never gets any Swan." I waved my menacing finger at him. "You just keep that…" I gestured toward his dick, "thingy away from me."
"That thingy? What are you five?" he laughed.
"I hope my five-year old doesn't know anything about thingy's." I said slightly outraged.
"Honey, I'm sure she does. She's in kindergarten and I'm sure it's come up."
I cringed. Oh god.
"If she has questions she will ask. Stop stressing." Edward walked around to sit in his chair. "Well, baby; me and my thingy gotta get to work."
"Fine. I can tell when me and my whoo whoo are not wanted." I put my nose up in the air and walked indignantly from his office.
I sat back down in my cube and was only in my chair for fifteen seconds before Edward popped over to my desk.
"May I help you?" I asked.
"I miss your whoo whoo." Edward said.
"Are you making fun of my whoo whoo?" I asked offended.
"I would never make fun of your whoo whoo. The last thing I need is for it feel slighted. It might turn gray and fall out." Edward barely controlled his laughter.
"Edward Cullen!" I stood up and slugged him in the shoulder.
"Oww. Relax. Just kidding, baby." He rubbed his shoulder and smiled back at me. "Honey, I just came over here because well, my thingy wants to take your whoo whoo to lunch." He stated.
"You…want to have sex?" I asked confused.
"No." he laughed. "Just being stupid. I meant that I want to take you to lunch. We have enough time before Vladic comes."
"Okay." I got up and grabbed my purse. "And honey, for the future the only thing my whoo whoo eats is your thingy and that means sex, so don't be stupid."
"Noted." He took my arm and escorted me out of the office.
It's funny because Edward and I work very close to each other. I mean my cube is right across from his office and yet we rarely went to lunch together. If we did it was with the girls and we would just go to the commissary. It was a rare treat to actually go to a sit down nice lunch with my fiancé and I have to say that I liked it and added it to my secret list of things I wanted to do more of in the future.
"Wonderful timing, I must say." Stefan practically scared me with his giddiness. He managed to arrive at the exact moment Edward and I did when we came back from lunch.
"Yeah…look at us. Our minds are practically in sync." I joked. "So…where is this new artist you want me to work with?"
"Now, now I am happy to see you all excited and ready to get down to work but we have business first to discuss and Seth will be bringing her along any moment." It really scared me that he was in such a jolly mood.
I raised my eyebrows and looked to Edward. I shook my head and then continued on toward our offices.
"Wait, just one moment." Stefan called after me. "Follow me. I have something rather exciting to show you."
Okay now he was just being weird but Edward was so willing to go along with it.
Awkwardly I walked back to follow him. We walked around our building to the building next to ours.
"Seeing the rather impressive contributions that you and Edward have provided for Warner Bros. and Warner Music Group we would like to reward all your hard work as well as the work we hope will be accomplished in years to come with a new state of the art office." Stefan presented the building to us.
I looked over to Edward disbelieving and he just had a happy little smile on his face which told me that he knew about this.
"Are you shittin me?" I asked. I guess that should have been my catchphrase sponsored by this portion of my life.
"Just wait until you see inside." Stefan practically hopped to open the doors.
We walked into what I am assuming was a lobby decked out with blue walls and black furniture. There were pictures that hung on the walls. Edward's past movie posters. My album cover and pictures I had taken with various artists.
A reception desk that was unmanned at the moment separating the lobby from the office. Through large glass doors that were connected to a glass wall we went through to the main office. In the middle was a square area with two desks all set up with drawers and computer equipment.
"For your personal assistants." Stefan pointed out. "On the left, over there is the kitchen, then Edward's office. Across the back, we went ahead and made that small bedroom that you had over in your old offices to a much larger space. We know you have little ones now. Then next to that is your conference room and on the right…" he walked me over to the room on the right hand side of the office.
"Here's your office." He presented.
I couldn't believe it. I had an office. And not just any office; this was a large room that held a sleek desk, several plush black couches and a rather large television. They had designed it in black and bluish purple colors scheme.
"This is for me?" I asked unbelieving.
"All of it. There are blinds in both offices if you need more privacy but I figured you would like the ability to sit at your desk and look across the way to see Edward at his desk." He remarked about the glass wall.
"I have saved the best for last. Come." Stefan waved me to follow. "This door here lead us to….Ta da."
My very own music studio!
I guess now would be a really bad time to tell him that I planned on taking some time off. I could feel goose bumps rise up on my arms as I took in the whole studio. Some things in there I dare say I never even knew how to work. A nice piano sat in the middle.
"You…did…all…this… for me. After just one album?" I couldn't fathom what WMG thought putting all that money out there for me.
"Well, like I said we know that you and Warner have a bright future together. Your album sells far exceeded our expectations. The accounting department ran some quick numbers and the revenue you have brought in with just your solo projects is impressive but add to that your group work; well that is something we want to reward. We know how to keep our artists happy."
Did Warner Bros. really believe that I would up and leave them after I became successful? That's the way it sounded. I couldn't help but wonder just how much this revenue totaled. Funny, they didn't even add in all the secret work I did with Liberty Project.
"Knock knock." Seth knocked on the door and walked in with our guest. The guest was Brianne Taylor. So far Brianne had two hit albums but her last album kind of tanked. She was a Grammy winner, AMA, VMA, BMA and even a CMA award winner. Did I throw enough abbreviations at you yet?
Oh and uh she was only twenty-five years old.
"Bella, we would like to introduce you to the newest member of WMG family; Brianne Taylor." Seth presented.
"Hi…uh…sorry I'm just a tad overwhelmed with all this." I said like an idiot gesturing to my surroundings. I still couldn't fathom my new office and studio.
"No problem." She laughed a little. "Nice." She appraised the studio.
"So, what should we do first?" Stefan started. "We want to really get Brianne off on the right foot and deliver something really powerful for her first single."
"I'm going to go and get Emma and Ian and show them the new office." Edward informed.
"Oh…that's right but what about E=MC2 productions? How are you going to keep up your production company with Emmett?" Suddenly it dawned on me that with our new digs, came new separation.
"Bella, he's next door. Not like Emmett's in a different country." He rolled his eyes.
I still didn't know how I felt about all this. I guess I would just have to wait and see how it all played out.
"So…uh…"Stefan gestured to Brianne.
"Okay…let's have a seat." I suggested walking back toward my new office with the big cushy couches. I noticed that Stefan and Seth sat down instantly. I guess I was giving them a demonstration of the money they had just put out.
"So Brianne, uh…what would you like to write about?" It was a stupid question but I really had no idea what I was about to do. I mean usually there was already a direction in place when I collaborated with artists in the past.
"Well, we thought you could write her a song. Something really catchy and guaranteed to go number one." Stefan said like he was ordering off the dollar menu at McDonald's.
"First of all; Brianne is a talented girl, she can write her own music. I will just help guide her along and second there is no guaranteed number one. That's impossible." I turned back to Brianne, "What has been on your mind. I know your first two albums did really well and then your third was…."
"Well that's because my label didn't back that third album. They were so determined to keep me in a box and I wanted to try to break out. They really didn't support me which is why I came to WMG." Brianne explained.
Interesting. It's like getting the true Hollywood story straight from the source.
"Really. How did that make you feel?" Great now I sounded like a therapist. I could see out of the corner of my eye Stefan trying to refrain.
"Um…it was hard. I really felt betrayed. I had put so much time and effort into the past six years that I worked with them and then for them to not even support me well, it really upset me. I haven't been able to write since. I'm just so…frustrated, angry, hurt. I don't know...a lot of things." She answered.
I always liked Brianne Taylor. She was a genuine decent human being.
I got up from my chair and walked over to my desk and grabbed a pad of paper and a pen.
"Write down any words or phrases that come to mind when you think about you past relationship with your former label. Use as much paper as you need. Draw pictures. Whatever inspires you. Come back tomorrow." I said handing her the yellow note pad.
"Uh…Bella. This isn't really how we saw this going." Seth jumped in for Stefan.
"This is how I work. You want a number one; well then at least give me and Brianne a chance. If she is willing to put the work in then I will at the very least guarantee you a good strong song. If you rather take her to someone else, then be my guest." I turned and walked back to my desk and took a seat.
"No. I want to work with you. I have heard the songs that you have produced with Justin Martin and Liberty Project." She turned to look at Stefan and Seth. "I want to work with Bella on my first single."
After that they were all gone leaving me alone in my brand new office. Suddenly everything in this place looked like it had prices tags still attached. I stood up and walked to the center of my office; the door to the music studio still open for me to see inside.
"All of this for you." I said aloud to no one.
The pressure was back. Accepting this new office meant accepting a whole lot more. I needed Brianne Taylor's first single to go number one. I needed to prove to Warner Bros. that their investment in me was worth every penny.
Warner Bros. had spent quite a bit of money to give me the tools to be a successful music artist but I didn't want to be just a music artist. My first love was film. I wanted to be a successful filmmaker. They had spent all that money; encouragement for my work to continue and for me to put out another successful album. Funny thing was, I wouldn't produce a new album until four years later.
AN: Going to one update a week for a little while. Sorry :-( I will say that I am working on something new and will probably post the first chapter of that story this week. Please don't think I am abandoning this story; I just find that working on a different story line helps me to focus on writing A Working Title a little more if that makes any sense. Thank you once again for reading and reviewing!