CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
There are certain events that happen in your life that are you are unable to process until after they are over. Once the experience is over, you wonder did that really just happen. The emotional rollercoaster you ride as everything unfolds before you. Joy. Marvel. Worry. Nerves. Love. Every single feeling is overwhelming and you can't help but take a step back and think of the long path it took for you to get to this moment.
I think back to memories long before Edward and for the first time I can see that each stepping stone was meant to be whether it was bad or good because it brought me to this moment at this time in the arms of this man.
I look over and see my husband still passed out. Poor Edward. With everything that had happened yesterday from sun up to sun down and then some, into the wee early hours of the morning we just were both so tired that it wouldn't have been right to make our first time as husband and wife while we both were exhausted.
I was unaware of what hour it even was. I guess I could go up top and see where the sun was in the sky but it seemed a shame to leave my husband.
My husband.
God, I still can't believe he picked me.
I look at his peaceful face with his mouth just opened enough to bring about the most adorable pout; a pout that I couldn't help picturing on a future child of ours…someday. I don't know what was wrong with me but I couldn't help but tear up at the idea of what we have been through the past couple years to get to this moment.
He was amazing. He loved me every second of every day even when I didn't deserve it. I loved him, every second of every day.
He groaned and started to move, brushing his face off with his hand. Edward opened his eyes slowly and looked over to me.
"Baby, what's wrong." He practically jumped out of the covers.
What was he so worried about? Oh that's right, I was still crying my tears of happiness.
"Nothing…I'm just soo…incredibly…happy. I never thought I could ever be this happy." I confided my voice still hoarse from the night before.
Edward relaxed a little and offered me a smile pulling me closer to him.
"I completely understand. God, feels like yesterday was just a dream." He marveled.
"I know. I was just thinking the same thing. I still can't believe it's over."
"Oh my dear wife, it is definitely just beginning." Edward gently pulled my face to meet his. His lips I was happily surprised were still un-chapped even after all the time I spent kissing him yesterday. Well, I guess I should do something about that. I giggled to myself and slickly pulled myself on top of him.
This may take a while.
In the meantime, I guess I should go back and give you all the delicious details from the day before. I imagine that writing a book about my life with one of the greatest actors of our generation wouldn't be complete without some insider wedding details, some of which I will share for the first time.
It was the morning of and I woke up peacefully alone. I had begged Edward to stay with me last night and I am ashamed to admit that I may have turned on the waterworks to get my way. Stupid rules of not allowing the groom to see the bride before the wedding were definitely cramping my style.
I didn't want to sleep alone. I hadn't slept alone in…well I can't remember. In fact I had spent far too many nights alone, so no it would not do me well to go ahead and allow the wedding gods one night. Edward who stupidly believed that it was bad luck was rather resilient in his campaign but I knew the one thing that would get him to break his barriers, tears from a virgin bride.
Edward finally allowed himself to grace me with his presence in our bed last night under one condition. He would come and sleep next to me but at the stroke of 11:59 pm he would kiss me one last time and leave me sleeping. Getting everything ready for this wedding really tired me out so when we went to sleep that night at ten pm., I was so passed out when Edward finally crept from our room, I didn't even miss him.
A soft knock came on my door and I looked over to the clock on our bedside table. It was a little after seven. I guess I should feel honored to have been given the opportunity to sleep in so much.
"Come in." I called.
The moment the door opened it was like I was thrust out of my comfortable little world and pushed right back into Weddingdom. The nerves started kicking in when I realized that in just a few short hours I would be standing in front of lots and lots of people.
Then all the questions started to pop up.
What if it rained?
What if I tripped?
What if Emmett fell into the cake?
What if I pulled a Ross? No. That would never happen. I mean whose name could I honestly mistake for Edward's when saying my vows. Don't say Rachel. Don't say Rachel. Gah!
The past week more and more people flew into Italy and in droves they filled up every possible room, hotel and rental available. For just a second I did feel bad thinking of how much money people had to expend to be here and Edward could tell something was bothering me so like the pest he was he made me tell him. For a second I felt relief when he told me that he picked up the tab on several chartered flights and hotel stays. I mean what's a million here or there when it's Tria Fata money.
My mom was the first to greet me the morning of the wedding. She came into my room bringing the gift of coffee.
"Ahhh is that what I think it is?" I asked sitting up and holding out my hands.
"Just the way you like it apparently. I had to have Savannah show me how to work that contraption downstairs. She told me that you were practically an addict when it came to your morning coffee."
"Thank you mom." I took a sip and it felt magical. Better than Butterbeer I imagine.
"So I have tried to keep the crazy downstairs…"
"Oh, don't worry about Marcus…he just takes some getting used to." I quipped.
She laughed a little, "I don't mean just Marcus. Everyone is crazy downstairs but Edward has asked of me to oversee that you have a minimal amount of stress as possible, so I calmly explained to everyone that there needs to be some rules for today."
I was impressed with my mom. She came up with rules and everything.
"What are the rules?" I asked curiously.
"One, they are to leave the drama for their mamma…that's what my school kids always say." She shook her head.
"Okay what else?" I laughed.
"Anyone and everyone needs to remain calm and not bombard you with questions. In fact Edward asked all questions be directed to either Emily or her team, or to Edward himself."
"I like that rule."
"And last…this is a wedding, we should all have fun today." She championed.
"I think all of those rules are just perfect. Thank you, mom. I really am happy you're here."
"I love you, honey." She sighed. "I really wish your father could have been here. He…well…he couldn't be prouder I will say."
"I know, mom." I whispered.
"Well, I think it would be best if you took a nice relaxing bath. I'll go start one for you." My mom jumped off the bed and left to make my bath. I stood up and walked over to the window. I could see Savannah, Becky and Gracie out on the backyard lawn all playing a game of some kind.
I sighed when I looked up in the sky and could already see helicopters overhead. There was no doubt in my mind that they would be here too uninvited or not. It was the reason why I decided to have the ceremony in the grand ballroom at the castle. Somehow it felt so wrong to be interrupted with all the chopper noise overhead while the paparazzi tried to get even one usable image. We decided to use the beautiful courtyard for the reception, well part of the reception. We asked that indoors be set up for dinner as we weren't sure if the weather would hold up.
The sun was out and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It really was the perfect day.
"All ready." My mom sang.
I put my coffee mug down and walked toward the bathroom.
"Oh and Edward asked me to give this to you." She handed me a piece of paper that had been folded and sealed with waxed "C".
I took the letter very curious as to what he had to say.
My mom had added bubbles to my bath and I couldn't get undressed fast enough to get into the nice hot water and read my letter. When I was completely in, good and relaxed I picked up the letter, careful not to get it wet. I ran my finger over the raised red "C". I broke the seal and unfolded the letter.
My dear wife,
I can call you that now because the next time we meet it will be official in the eyes of the law and God. It has been official in my heart for some time now. I wish I could fully relay to you just how much I love you but I don't believe there would be enough paper in the world for that.
I will tell you though that since you have come into my life, every single day of it I have been more alive than the last. I often think of the first moment I saw you. I wish it was more romantic as I do not know if I want to tell our children someday the story of the time you walked into the lunch room at E=MC2 and announced so eloquently, "What's up Bitches?" but I am determined to make that story romantic.
I have waited for so long to find my soul mate. I never believed in love at first sight but I know that the moment I saw you, that was exactly what I felt. I loved your eyes, your happiness beaming through them. Your smile and how it made every single problem I had instantly vanished. It was in that moment I was given glimpse of what could be. I was scared though. I didn't know what was happening to me. You were young and I was with an organization that suddenly worried me. You made me question my life choices. I knew that what I was a part of was different and strange to many but you were patient and a saint. You didn't run from me. You stayed with me. I never deserved you and never will earn the right to be your husband but I will work hard every single day of my life at hopes of achieving something that will never be achieved.
Isabella Marie Swan. My Bella. Today you will take my name and in return I promise within my power I will give you everything you could ever want or need. I will strive every single day for the rest of my existence to see that smile that I remember so well that first day I met you.
I know that we are not perfect. There will be times when we will both disagree but please know that whatever should cross our path; it is nothing we can't conquer together. I will admit that it is my dream and highest hopes that one day you will have my baby inside that beautiful belly. I have a picture in my mind of our future and sincerely hope that one day I can tell you of it when it comes to fruition.
Please enjoy today. I know that you are nervous and fear embarrassing yourself. You will not trip or fall. You won't say the wrong things. Everything will be perfect. Try and take in today because tomorrow it will have felt like a dream.
I love you with all my heart and everything within me.
See you at the altar Mrs. Cullen.
Love always,
Mr. Cullen
I could feel myself relax even further as I finished reading his dear words. Of course I couldn't help myself from a few tears. My silly thoughts of all that could go wrong dissolved slightly and I spent the rest of my bath with my eyes closed trying to imagine what Edward pictured in his mind for our future.
I finished up my bath and dressed myself in some relaxing lounge clothes. I knew that I would be corseted into a rather uncomfortable heavy dress the majority of my day so it would be wise to stay as comfortable as possible until then.
I walked down the stairs and could already hear the buzzing of voices that could only come from my very excited friends and family.
"Hey, I feel like there is something I was supposed to do today but what, I just can't remember." I announced.
"Haha, very funny. We don't have time for your wit today, my dear. Showtime is in seven hours. Ooo scratch that, six hours and fifty-five minutes." Marcus replied.
"Bella, I made you a light breakfast. You can't wait till dinner. I promise I made nothing that will cause you to bloat." Alice pushed Marcus aside.
"Thank you Alice. Not really feeling…hungry." I rubbed my stomach but maybe I should rub my throat, I think my nerves were all up in there.
"You need to eat something. It's a very long time before dinner." My mom suggested.
"Besides you might not get to eat dinner as I'm sure you and Edward will be doing your wedding duties of greeting guests and all that crap." Rosalie added.
"Okay, fine I'll eat." I sighed.
I went over and sat down at the kitchen bar.
"Richard has his team here. We think it's best to do the majority of hair and makeup at the house and light touch ups over at the castle." Marcus started prattling off as I stabbed a piece of cantaloupe with my fork.
"Okay."
"And I am riding up with the dress at one pm and will personally escort it into your bridal chambers." Marcus continued.
"Okay."
"And…"
"Marcus, what did we talk about last night?" My mom scolded him.
"Its fine, mom." I waved her off.
"Mommy, look how green my pants got." Gracie ran in from the backyard and it looked like she had been in a wrestling match with nature. She had dirt all over her and grass stains aplenty.
"You are planning on washing them, right?" Marcus looked horrified.
"What did you do? You're all dirty." I asked.
"Uncle Jacob taught us how to do sliders down the back hill." Savannah explained.
"Really, tell Uncle Jacob no more lessons for today. You need to go up and get washed up. I think Richard wants to start on everyone's hair soon." I directed.
Jacob walked in looking pretty sheepish.
"I thought you were supposed to be at the boy house. Why are you here dirtying up my children?" I questioned.
"Come on." He brushed it off. "They were bored. You should be thanking me."
I rolled my eyes.
"I'll take Gracie up for her bath. I think Richard wants to get started on you soon." My mom picked Gracie up and carried her off.
"Again why are you at the girl house?" I turned back to Jacob.
"It's my duty to make sure that the ladies are safe and it is my honor to make sure you get to the church on time." Jacob flopped down on the couch and picked up Emmett's XBOX controller and started up a game.
"Bella, it's nearly nine. I am not stressing you out. I am being perfectly calm and cool." Marcus was talking to me like I was mentally challenged.
"I know, I know. Fine take me to Richard." I huffed and jumped up from my stool. I turned to Jacob, "One last chance, Jacob or I will exile you to the boy house." I warned.
"Sure, sure." He called out as I left.
I think besides the bath and lovely handwritten letter I received this morning; having my hair and makeup done was probably the next best relaxing moment of my day. It worked wonders for nerves feeling someone run his fingers through my hair. Even all my ladies in waiting and their chatter couldn't take me away from my utopia.
I know that weddings were a time for big fancy hair doo's but when I walked down that aisle to Edward I wanted to still look like me. So I told Richard that just some easy makeup and hair was what I wanted. He didn't argue thankfully even if I did have to tell him when Marcus managed to walk away for a moment. Richard left my hair down and put in some loose curls. Nothing too fancy it was just right.
"Okay, if I can have everyone's attention." Emily started to wrangle everyone up. "We are leaving for the castle. The cars have arrived. I have placed you all in groups and I am going to collect you accordingly. I want to send up all personal up first so that you can start setting up and next the bridesmaids..."
I started to zone out as Emily gave her speech. I knew that I should pay attention but my nerves started kicking in again and suddenly I found myself trying to focus on my sweaty palms.
"Then Bella and Renee will go in a separate car..." Emily continued.
"Whoa, I'm riding with the bride today." Jacob interrupted.
"Jacob we talked about this." Emily looked over at Jacob and gave him a rather dangerous look.
"I don't need you to escort me to the castle, Jake." I rolled my eyes.
"But…that…was.." Jacob huffed and sat back down like a petulant child.
"Besides I would rather have you take Gracie and Savannah. I need to know that they are safe and I will only feel that with you." I tried to make him feel important but I don't think I succeeded.
We were standing outside the house as the cars drove up and started loading up people.
"Bella, this is your driver for today, Laurent." Emily quickly introduced us.
I'm not sure still what it was about Laurent that made me instantly uneasy. All I can say is, to my fellow women; it is always best to listen to your intuition. No matter how stupid it may sound. Just do it.
"Miss…Swan. Pleasure is all mine." Laurent gave a small bow and I nodded uneasy. Laurent was built rather strong. He towered over me and something about his eyes had me a tad weary.
I could see Jacob climbing into the car up ahead and suddenly I call out after him.
"Jacob."
His neck immediately turned and I waved him over.
I walked over to meet him as Laurent helped my mother into the car.
"Hey, I changed my mind. I do want you to ride with us. Can you ask Angela if she wouldn't mind taking the kids to the castle?"
"Sure…is everything okay?" he could tell something was off.
"Uh…just would feel better this way."
Jacob looked to appraise me and finally turned to go and find Angela. I knew my kids would be safe with Angela. Hell, anyone would be safe with Angela.
Just as I started to walk back over to my car which Laurent stood there waiting for me with the door open, Jacob jogged to catch back up.
"I was told I was taking mother and bride. Only mother and bride." Laurent started to protest. His French accent coming out good and strong.
"Yeah well, change of plans buddy." Jacob smacked him on the back and jumped into the car with us.
I couldn't stop the silly smile from forming on my face while I tried to shake my head at Jacob.
"What? What I do?" Jacob completely clueless.
"Nothing." I laughed. "Okay, so out with it. Who is the unlucky Joe that will be walking me down the aisle?"
"Nope. Not telling. Not yet." Jacob smirked.
"Come on. Stop being a butt." I huffed.
"Bella, it really should wait." My mom said. "Oh…I just can't wait to see." She started gushing.
Who the hell could Jacob have asked that would make my mom go all teary and gaga at the same time. I sat back and crossed my arms. I hated surprises.
Emily was at the curb to greet us when we arrived and took us on up to our bridal suite. Laurent was long forgotten as we left him behind but don't worry kiddies, he will make his final appearance a couple of months later.
It was a shame that this castle wasn't part hotel. I would have liked being able to stay here for a night. I asked Edward what he had planned for our honeymoon but apparently the theme to this wedding was "keep Bella in the dark."
The day started to speed up and suddenly it was time to put my dress on. Then it was time for last-minute hair and makeup and finally it was time to go on down to the grand ballroom where the ceremony would be taking place.
"All right my dear. Pure and utter perfection." Marcus gave me one last look over. "I have something for you but I wonder if I should wait off till after pictures but a part of me thinks that it would be best now…" I could tell that Marcus was nervous he usually was so well spoken.
"What is it, Marcus? You can tell me." I replied.
Marcus walked over to his bag and pulled out a jewelry box. "My gift, for the bride." He handed me the square velvet box. I opened it wondering what he could give me. To this day he had given me one of the best gifts I have ever received. He gave me my father.
My tears instantly started.
"Oh drat. This is why I should have waited." Marcus, I could tell was mentally slapping himself.
"No. Thank you." I practically jumped on him for a hug. "This is…just the best thing anyone could ever do for me. Thank you."
I pulled the gold bracelet out of the box that had just one charm upon it. A small picture frame with a picture of me and my dad the day we got fitted for my wedding dress. It would be the only wedding photo I would ever have with my dad.
"Richard. I may need another touch up." Marcus called out for Richard and I laughed through my tears.
"Here, put it on." I asked Marcus holding out my wrist for him. He took the bracelet out and fastened it around my wrist.
"Perfect." I whispered.
"Are we ready?" Emily poked her head in.
I nodded and Marcus held out his arm to me. "May I escort you down?" he asked.
"I would be honored." I replied.
We slowly walked down the treacherous steps, taking our time. I could feel a massive sigh of relief leave my body as I reached the last step. Everyone was lined up ready to enter the grand ballroom.
"Well, I want to go and get my seat." Marcus gave me one last soft kiss on the cheek before leaving.
I waited to see who Jacob had decided on to escort me down the aisle as I watched my bridal attendants one by one leave through the massive double wooden doors and walk down the aisle. I couldn't see into the room just yet as Emily wanted to keep me out of sight for the big moment. I started to wonder if anyone was going to show up for the task as Angela gave me one last smile and left.
Now I was all alone. Just Emily and me.
"Hey, sorry I'm late." Emmett came running on over to me.
"Bella, I know that no one could replace your father but I would be honored if you would allow me to escort you."
I smiled up at him.
"I would like that very much." I gave him my arm and we walked toward the big double doors. I could hear the orchestra start up as they played a very peaceful version of the wedding march.
The doors opened and for a single moment I was completely taken aback at the beauty that this room beholds. The aisle looked longer then I remembered. I tried to put my focus into not tripping as I took a stronger hold on Emmett's arm.
Everyone was standing and looking at us with big bold smiles as we started to walk. After just a couple of paces Emmett stopped us and there was Jasper. I hadn't even noticed him.
"Bella, would you do me the honor of escorting you today?" Jasper came up and took my hand. For a second I was confused. What was going on? I looked down the aisle and could see Embry up ahead and then Jacob.
I looked back to Jasper, "Yes." I started to tear up as I finally realized what Jacob had done for me. He knew how hard it was for me to go down this aisle without my father. Physically I could do it but mentally I wasn't so sure because it was more than just an aisle; this aisle represented my life and having to go forward without my dad being there. What Jacob did was remind me that even though my father was no longer here; I would never be alone.
The aisle was lined with representatives who I could always count on and of course right there at the end was my heart, my love who would never leave me even after we both departed from this life.
"Would you do me the great honor of escorting you today?" Embry said so properly.
"I would really like that." I said up to him.
We walked another couple of paces, Embry and I, arm in arm until Jacob.
Jacob.
The man who Edward had chosen for me if something should happen to him. I now understood why. The man who drove me up the wall when first we met. Jacob. My friend. My dear friend.
Before Jacob could even say anything I placed my hand on his cheek.
"Jacob, I want you to know…that I will love you forever." I said softly.
"As I will love you." He replied sincerely. He took my arm and we finished the remaining steps.
Edward standing glorious at the altar walked a couple of steps down to us to shake Jacob's hand and show him his appreciation with a hug.
"You better take care of her." Jacob said.
"You know I will." Edward smiled.
The reverend began and I placed my concentration into holding Edward's hands in mine, admittedly not even listening to the reverend's opening words.
"Who should give this woman to this man in marriage?" The reverend spoke out to the crowd.
"We do." Our guests all answered in unison. This must have been planned but it was so unexpected that it caused me to look back over at the crowd and what I saw weren't strangers or hundreds of pairs of eyes looking at us that were unfamiliar. I could look out over the entire crowd and know nearly every single person who sat in the chairs behind us.
Magda. Justin Martin. Charlotte and Peter, Garrett and Kate. Darren. Seth and Stefan. My Liberty Project boys. Cranky Carl. Mike Newton. Kenny. Angel.
I could go on and on but my point is, all this worrying about standing up in front of all these people and for the first time I realized that all these people were my friends. They were family.
The rest of the ceremony went flawless. I didn't mess up. My nerves instantly calmed and Edward and I were officially pronounced Man and Wife.
Edward and I sealing it officially with a slow soft kiss.
We walked down the aisle to the cheers and claps of our friends as soft pink and white rose petals dropped from the ceiling like confetti.
Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen.
AN: Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I apologize for taking more time to get this chapter out to you. Hope you liked it!