Knowing Nothing
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"Was it weird to miss a person you didn't know?" Set in a universe where they're students from different high schools. Written in Naegi's POV.
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It was a person whom I didn't know.
A student from another school died. While watching television last night, news of her came on screen. Apparently she was from an all-girls private high school. They never said anything about her name nor did they show her face. They flashed the bloody scene and I recognized her hair. To see something so familiar yet so unknown at the same time left an impact in me. My eyes were still fixated on the screen even though it had been minutes since the news segment had ended.
Then I started thinking about that girl, whoever she might have been, and pieced whatever I had in mind. Before she had died she had to have been someone. She was someone who had a family, friends, and enemies. She was someone who smiled, laughed, and cried. She was someone who at least had a name and a face.
Now she's practically non-existent.
She's now just a number, a casualty, even worse, an accident. That's what they've written on her case. It was by mere luck that she died yesterday. It was the bad kind of luck that chanced upon her yesterday. It's not like it mattered to them. They think that she's just passing news and the world would too forget about her right after the commercial break.
They've got that wrong.
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I unluckily have met that person before.
There was a day when I did something stupid. I had been on the train before. In fact, I always use the train twice every day. I was not even tired that day nor was there anything in particular that was bothering me. It was just after school and with nothing else to do, I decided to head straight home. By the time I got on the train, it started pouring. The bullet train was hit by nature's version of bullets and if I were poetic enough, I would have written a haiku about it. But that's what I've been trying to say from the start.
It was an ordinary day, I was an ordinary guy but my luck just wasn't.
I got off on the wrong station. Alarms went ringing inside my head when I felt there something distinctively wrong with my surroundings. It looked like the same place but the people looked different. After getting off the same station at the same time every day, you kind of just know the other people like you. And I saw none of my familiar strangers. I frantically looked around for a sign of what could be wrong.
That's when I saw her.
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Her name was Kirigiri.
That was the nickname I gave her. I think she would get angry if she knew I had named her after the station I got mistaken with. But at least Kirigiri could pass as a girl's name, right?
I don't know her name. In fact, I don't even remember her face. But her hair was beautiful. It's not like I particularly admired her as if I had a crush on her or anything and it's embarrassing to say this but that's all I could remember of her. She had hair of the lightest of purple with long strands down to her waist. I think she had a braid to one side tied with a ribbon. What color was the ribbon again? I don't even know anymore.
It's hard to remember someone you don't know.
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She was murdered.
That was the obvious explanation. People don't just die in classrooms alone. People don't commit suicides with their bodies squashed and the object used for it gone missing. It was a simple fact that no one seemed to acknowledge. No, they refuse to accept it. Whoever had done in on her had connections. He was obviously powerful if he wasn't a she. But that's just not fair. No, that' not just. A life was taken brutally just like that and no one would or could even bat an eyelid.
What would the victim feel? Anger? Regret? Sorrow? Do souls even feel after death? Do we even have souls? I shook my head. I was thinking way too much about this even though I was supposedly unaffected.
But it did bother me.
That night, I didn't dream. It was because I simply didn't sleep. At some point, I even got on the internet. Admittedly, I researched about the girl who recently died. I didn't expect to find much but I was proven wrong. Apparently, she was from a well-known family or at least with the elites. There wasn't anything much out there aside from the occasional rumors. I managed to dig deeper by tediously checking every link that at least didn't look like a spam. You'd be surprised about what people thought of you on the internet. That night was spent with me just taking in all this new information.
It's kind of sad that I learned about her this way.
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We never even had a conversation.
I mean, how could we? We were total strangers. There was nothing to talk about either. I may not know her but I doubt she'd be interested spending her time trying to find a topic with me. I'm from a public high school with no clubs or hobbies whatsoever. She was from a prestigious private high school. Surely, we would be on different levels. It was impossible to even think about having a conversation with someone like her.
But it wasn't like we never had the chance.
We had plenty. After the incident, I was careful to never get off on a wrong station again. Strangely enough, I saw her from time to time. Even stranger was the fact that it was usually near my school. I'm not accusing her of being a stalker or anything. That would just mean that I'm fooling myself to think that I'm even stalk-worthy material. Nevertheless, she was just there and I was just a glance away for our eyes to meet. I don't think she even knew I was there watching her. Maybe if she knew, she would try to catch my attention. Maybe if I walked into her field of vision, she would recognize me. Then maybe we would talk right after the first few awkward moments.
I never did find the courage to walk in her direction.
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Anything about her, I knew nothing.
There were a lot of things which I didn't know about her. I didn't know she read mystery novels and even finished them at a quick pace. I didn't know she was the type who kept a journal with her which she wrote in from time to time. I didn't know she was the analytical type until I kept seeing her with a different kind of puzzle each time. I didn't know she was compassionate until that one time when a kid tripped and cried then she walked to him to comfort him with ice cream she had bought specifically for that purpose. I didn't know she particularly liked cherry blossoms since whenever they were in bloom, she would be at her seasonal spot just gazing at them.
I didn't know a lot of things about her.
That's because even if I had to pass by her, I would reroute and take the long way out. But that was okay since we were strangers to begin with. In time, I unconsciously found myself looking for her. I started searching even just her uniform or anything with the right shade of purple like her hair. And when I did find something like that and confirm that it was her, I would have mixed feelings. It was happiness, anxiety, and everything else. It was my cue to avoid her right after finding her.
But there were times when I didn't know she was there. That's how I learned a few things about her without ever actually having to get to know her. And she would never know it but she managed to surprise me for a number of times without even trying. But what surprised me the most were the things that I found out about her when I actually thought about the things concerning her that had happened.
Sometimes I wonder if she saw me too.
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Everyone knew it was murder.
But it was good to know that even the investigators now classified it as that. I was watching an interview with the chief inspector right now. They never really considered the possibility and were ready to close the case right off the bat but someone told them to check on it. And they did. Every last detail the person pointed out made a valid point and evidences supported them. What surprised me was what the interviewer asked last.
Was it true that they only reconsidered after receiving a mysterious letter?
He adamantly said no. They were professionals. Under no circumstances would they turn to anonymously signed letters for help in work. It was just a rumor spreading around the division. He intimidatingly ended the interview right after in a hurry. Some people are too obvious. After the interview, there wasn't anything interesting left to watch.
Coincidentally, I happened to send a letter the week before.
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Was it weird to miss someone you don't know?
I got off on the wrong station. Only this time, it was a deliberate mistake.
This was something I had to do. Because even though I didn't know her, I felt like she still deserved to have her rights paid. And I wanted to do this. I can't go to her funeral after all. It was never disclosed in public so of course I wouldn't find the date on the internet. I would have wanted to be there at the actual funeral but it was not possible. So I'm doing this now. I wanted to do something for her in my own way. And this was the only thing that I could think of.
It was kind of disappointing though. I thought that I would feel something special once I got here but right now it just felt… nothing. Nothing really did happen the first time we met but even so, I had hoped that there would be something at least. I just felt nothing. I didn't even try to remember what happened here long ago. This supposedly funeral-proxy didn't feel special at all. Heck, I didn't even feel anything to begin with.
But since I was already there, I roamed around. At that point, I didn't even expect anything. I looked at everything. Deep inside, I was racking my brain to be at least sensitive since I came here for a reason. After a while, I checked out the bulletin boards too. It was filled with flyers and notes and all but one in a corner spoke out to me.
It had lots of holes. That only meant that people kept relocating it and I could only assume that the author persistently relocated it back again. But right now it's just at one dark corner. It never got back to its original location.
Its author never got back to it.
Did I feel nothing for this? If I had felt something when I got here then maybe I wouldn't have gotten to scrutinizing everything about this station. I never would have walked this far or looked at things with this much focus. I never would have found this note.
I must have the worst luck after all.
Quickly, I took the note with me and went straight for the lost and found booth. I followed the instructions stated in it. I told the guy manning the booth my name and my lost item.
What I found was so much more.
Thanks for the umbrella the other day. It proved useful.
You left in a hurry. I hope you arrived to your destination safely. You seemed lost.
I recognized your uniform so from time to time I shall be within your area to personally extend my gratitude. Please don't be afraid to approach me.
-Kyoko Kirigiri
Kirigiri? What were the odds of that! It seemed that my luck wasn't that bad after all. Guessing someone's name wasn't an easy feat. Knowing her name eased my anxiety a little bit. Knowing that I was right about her name meant something entirely different. It meant that all this while I had in fact, known something about her. I didn't know her name or her face but still…
I knew her all along.
I didn't know her but I thought she was a person with purpose. It turned out that I was right. Her appearances were never coincidences. It wasn't by chance that was nearby but it wasn't by chance either that we never actually met eye to eye. She was always so close to me because it was in her intentions. She was only close to me but never with me. And I knew personally as to why. Looking back, she only had good intentions. I never saw that though because I never knew her.
I kept telling myself that I didn't know her.
This note would never disappear no matter how much I will it to. So I just stared at the note until it blurred. It was not raining at all but why was my face so wet all of the sudden?
That empty feeling I said earlier? I take that back. What I felt was a feeling of loss. On that day, I went home with two notes and an umbrella.
I felt like I lost more than what I actually found.
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If only I had properly met her the first time.
It started pouring. I got off on the wrong train station. That's when I saw her.
She had hair of the lightest of purple with long strands down to her waist and a braid to one side tied with a black ribbon. She was digging through her bag. It seemed as if she either lost something or forgot to bring that something with her.
"Here. Use mine."
Without even thinking, I gave her my umbrella.
"Are you sure?"
Her voice spoke in a polite yet firm tone.
"It's alright. I'm wearing my jacket and my route home has lots of roofs to take shelter in."
The last part was obviously a lie and I think she knew that too.
"Very well. Thank you."
And I remembered her gentle face as she thanked me. Then I ran off.
We would have been good friends.
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Shinra-ex-SOLDIER
Omake: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
Police: It's safe to say that this was an accident. There was absolutely no murder here.
Naegi: You've got that wrong!
Police: …
Naegi: …
Police (to communicator): We have found a suspicious person at the scene of the crime.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
NOTE: Kirigiri is not a real train station. HOWEVER, there is a station named Kirikiri (and with different characters). CLOSE ENOUGH.
REPLIES TO REVIEWERS:
kryandrs - thank you! well i do plan to at least make it last up to 5 chapters, it depends on the time and the support I get
Guest - I already have plans for pre-despair timeline. I'll take note about the sick event when the inspiration hits me.
Thank you to the favs and follows from Anonymous568, GabyS.99, Nanoko-chan, Sakka P, anonymous184, blue-espeon, NightEveMoon, StrawberryMatt, redpanda0207.
Oh, and don't forget to review on this one too! Really, I just want to talk to you guys/gals. Upupupupu!