CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
It didn't take long for me to pass out as exhaustion outweighed life altering future life plans. In fact when I finally did wake up the afternoon after, baby plans were nowhere on my horizon of thoughts. I guess one really shouldn't conceive serious decisions when they were on the brink of a mental breakdown from sheer tiredness.
The boat rocked back and forth as our captain maintained a steady course for our destination, where I still didn't know. And while our captain maintained his course, Edward maintained his own course of killing me slowly with foreplay.
He thought he was so brilliant making me wait for it. Several times after I would be done coming down from the latest orgasm and ready for us to move forward, Edward would jump up and run to get food. He said I needed to eat up and gather my strength but I think he was just inventing new ways to torture me. I wouldn't tell him but damn that food was exactly what I needed. I was absolutely famished.
After the last snack break I was contemplating turning on the waterworks just to get my way when finally I felt him change direction. He laid on top of, lining himself directly up with me.
"Do you even realize just how perfect this moment is? How long it has taken us to get here." Edward asked softly.
"It is perfect. Please husband, make love to your wife." I opened my legs wider and he slid gently in, filling me for what felt like the first time. My head fell back to the pillow and I had trouble grasping all the feelings I felt in that moment.
"Oh, Bella. You're perfect in every single way." Edward's lips massaged mine as I could finally feel him throw out the soft and sensual love-making and step it up a notch. It had been far too long for both of us.
"Please." I gasped.
"Your wish, my command." Edward grabbed onto my hips and thrust wildly into me. Well, that wasn't where I was going with my pleading but not one to pass this up, I tried meeting him thrust for thrust. I pinched my nipple and Edward took his cue to suck on them, giving little bites.
"Fuck." He moaned.
"So…close." I begged to anyone who would listen.
"Come on, baby. Cum for me, baby." Edward chanted. He wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer and I knew he was waiting for me. He pushed up in me with one final thrust and it set my body on fire. I didn't even know if Edward came. I was so overwhelmed that I didn't realize how loud I screamed.
I was breathing so hard and Edward was too as he laid on me for a minute before retreating. I couldn't even manage to roll over so he could hold me as we came down from the bliss. The only thing we both managed was to hold hands.
When I finally came too, I knew I needed to get up and go to clean myself. I didn't want the sheets to be wet from cum but as I tried to get up, Edward wouldn't let go of me.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm all wet. I don't want to ruin the sheets." I giggled.
"Fuck the sheets. I made sure there was a whole closet full of clean sheets. Stay here."
"Edward, I…I'm dripping." I said slightly embarrassed.
"That's hot." Edward wrapped his body around mine and we laid there in our love juices.
He didn't say anything for a long while and I wondered if our exercises caused him to pass out again.
"Edward." I whispered hoping that if he was asleep, I didn't wake him.
"Yes, baby."
"I don't ever want to go that long again. Two and a half months was far too long. Promise me."
"I'm sorry baby, I can't make that promise. Someday I hope that we will have the good fortune of having a baby and I think that the recovery time is pretty lengthy."
And there it was. Back to square one and my thoughts on my wedding gift. What to do. What to do. The two sides of my brain went to war on each other as I weighed the pros and cons. I could see so many cons and many pros.
"Edward." I whispered again.
"Honey, why are you whispering? Are going to tell me a secret?" he laughed.
"Maybe." I smiled and looked up to him. "But you gotta promise not to tell anyone."
"I promise." He replied.
I scooted myself up to get close to his ear and cupped my hands playing along.
"I'm not on birth control." I whispered.
He immediately pulled back and you could see him fight with himself on whether I was being serious.
"What?"
"Happy Wedding present." I gave him this huge silly grin.
"What?"
"I so win, right. I totally gave the best wedding present, right." I continued on as if Edward wasn't suffering from a coronary.
Edward began looking at me, all over me. He reached out and touched my bare stomach like there would be something actually growing in it.
He looked back up to me and I could see tears in his eyes.
"Are you…sure?" I could see him hold his breath like he was waiting for me to tell him this was all a joke.
"Yes. I would never be that cruel to lie to you. I haven't taken the birth control for several weeks. I…I won't lie to you and tell you that I'm not scared but I love you and I want us to be happy."
"Oh my god, Bella. Oh my god." Edward pulled me to him and hugged me strongly.
"I win right?" I asked again.
"You win." He kissed me once more and it was a slow long kiss to which I could feel every single emotion Edward had poured into that kiss. Hope. Adoration. Need. Desire. Love.
He rolled right back on top of me and I could feel Eddie Jr. start to make an encore performance.
"Wait, I still need to clean up from last time." I pushed Edward back a little.
"Who gives a fuck? I want you so loaded up with my cum, God will have no choice but to put a baby in there."
He resumed and I pushed him off once more. "Edward." I shook my head. "I don't think it works that way and yes I do want to clean myself up because…that's just gross." I shuttered.
"Fine. I'll come with you. I have an idea…why don't we go and use the Jacuzzi hot tub. It can help us relax a little as well."
"Okay, but I'm still going to use the restroom first. No offense but I don't really want to be swimming around in sea of your friends."
I'm not going to even go into how disgusting it felt when I finally was able to get up. Well just say that a hot tub was the right choice all around. Although it was false advertising on Edward's part for stating that it was supposed to be relaxing. The moment that it really set in that Edward and I could make a baby on this honeymoon suddenly he looked at me like I was cartoon steak and he was trying to figure out the best way to pounce on me.
I think I may have had two minutes to settle myself into the nice hot water and one groan of appreciation before Edward pulled me over to settle me on his lap. He didn't ask or make any illusions of foreplay this time. He quite literally settled me down on his lap, positioning his cock to go right into my folds and deep into my tight hole.
"Edward." I started to complain but he whispered out a shhh before messaging my breasts. He kissed my neck and made small apologies.
"I can't help myself. I have to be in you."
"Edward…"
"Please baby. Let me make you feel good." He brought his hand down around my front and played with my clit. I tried, good god I tried to tell him that I needed a small break but I couldn't. He had found my Achilles heal.
Eventually, I couldn't help myself and I pulled off him and secured myself onto the side of the hot tub. I needed more friction. I needed him deeper and I wanted it harder. Edward didn't disappoint, he came up behind me and practically smashed me into the side as I could tell he needed more as well. It was probably the roughest he had ever been but I didn't care, I needed it. I could feel myself get closer and closer to my land of happiness.
"Harder, baby." I pleaded.
The water made it difficult. Edward's hands would slip and I even though it was feeling great, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to cum like this.
"Honey, give it to me." Edward was holding off.
"Just cum, Edward." I ordered.
"No." he growled.
"Yes, dammit." I yelled.
Edward immediately stopped and pulled out.
"What's wrong?" I turned back to him.
"I'm not going to cum without you." He lashed out.
"The water... I just can't get there. Why are you yelling at me?"
Edward immediately realized the loudness of his voice and took it down ten notches. "I'm not yelling at you, I just am trying to figure out how to….get you off."
"Really? We're really arguing about my orgasm count?"
"No. I don't want to argue but honey, I read somewhere that it helps to conceive when the woman cums. I want you to cum."
"Oh Jimmeny's Christmas." I huffed and began to storm out of the hot tub which if you don't know is rather hard to do.
"What's the matter?" Edward asked quietly.
I grabbed my towel and began wrapping it around me. I was so angry that it was hard for me to control my tear ducts.
"I understand that you want a baby but I'm not a machine and I would appreciate it if you didn't treat me so. The only reason you want to have sex right now is because I gave you the go ahead for…well you know. What is wrong with just wanting to have sex because I'm your wife and you want to make love to me. I didn't want this trip turning into focusing on baby making. I just…wanted you to want me…for more than that."
With my towel wrapped around me tightly I walked back down the narrow hall, my feet leaving water marks on the wooden floor as I went. The boat was really rocking and I had to hold onto the wall just to make my way back toward our room.
The sheets were stained and I roughly pulled them off and tossed them to the ground. I pulled the comforter back on and wrapped myself in it. I could feel the boat rocking more and more and bitterly I thought about how this damn boat probably symbolized my relationship at the moment.
I probably did blow things out of proportion. It's just my mind went in a completely dark place.
"Honey." Edward walked back into the room cautiously.
I snuggled into my comforter trying to keep my sniffles down.
"Baby, I'm sorry. Please forgive me for being an asshole." Edward rubbed my back a little.
"Don't worry about it. I…I don't know what came over me." I replied softly.
I could feel Edward lay down beside me and nestle closer to me.
"Maybe you're just not ready…"
"No. It's not that…it's stupid but for a minute when we were in the Jacuzzi room it almost felt like, that's all you wanted me for. To give you a baby…that's all I'm good for… it's stupid."
"God baby, of course that's stupid. How could you ever think such a thing? I love you. I will always love you and even if we never had children, that love would never change." He leaned down and kissed my head. "But I am sorry…I don't want you to think that having a baby is all I want to focus on. I promise that I won't mention it the rest of our trip and that there will be no pressure. I want us to have this time to be with one another and enjoy it because we don't ever get time to ourselves."
I turned over to look at him, "You don't have to not talk about it. Why don't we just see what happens? If it happens then it happens."
"I think that's perfect. Now do you think you can get up? I really should put sheets on."
I pulled myself out of bed still wrapped in my comforter as Edward went to the linin closet and took out new sheets. The boat jolted one way and I had trouble steadying myself.
"Ahhh." I let out a scream and managed to fall down, the comforter saving me from hitting the wall hard.
"Are you okay?" Edward came running over.
"Yes. Just shook up. I think I better sit while you do that. The water's getting rocky."
"Just stay down. Let me finish and then I'll go up and see what's going on." Edward finished up the bed and helped me back on. It was a shame how quickly that sun that I had seen earlier in the day was gone and replaced with one hell of a stormy night.
The boat continued to rock back and forth and I watched as parts of our room went down while other parts went up. Up and down. Up and down.
"The captain says that there is a storm. We should stay down here until it passes." Edward climbed back into bed with me.
"Um…"
"What's wrong? Are you hungry?"
"No…I…don't feel very good." Suddenly all that power food that Edward had been feeding me throughout the day didn't feel so well in my stomach. I never had a problem with sea sickness before but now every single time that boat would go up, my stomach would go down and vice versa.
"Do you need something? What do you need?" Edward seemed slightly panicked as he took in my ever-changing complexion.
"I…think…I need…a toilet." I tried to get up but the boat was really rocking. Edward helped me to the bathroom and I sat down in front of the toilet. It took a couple of minutes but then I couldn't hold back. I always hated vomiting. Not only for the usual reason of the smell and disgusting taste in your mouth but also because when I vomited I couldn't stop crying. I hated that feeling.
Edward the trooper sat beside me through and through.
"Why aren't you getting sick?" I complained after the last heave.
"I have the stomach of an ox." He retorted.
"But it's not just my stomach, even my head feels like its' going to explode." I rested my head on my arm which rested on the toilet seat.
"Do you want to lie down? Maybe if you lie down."
"I'm afraid…I won't make it back to the toilet in time. I don't want to vomit all over your new boat."
"It's your new boat and I think you would be more comfortable besides I'm pretty sure you emptied your stomach out pretty well." Edward stood up and took a minute to steady himself. He took a wash cloth and ran it under the sink facet and crouched down to clean my face off. He gave me some mouthwash and a cup to spit it in and then helped me back to the bed.
"I'm going to put the trash can right here, okay?"
I couldn't even respond, I felt like my stomach and throat had just run a marathon. Edward climbed back into bed with me and just held me for a time.
"Baby, try to get to sleep. It will help with the nausea."
"I can't sleep. I think I slept too much earlier." I replied dismally.
"Can I do something? Put a movie on…sing to you?"
I actually was able to laugh a little on that one.
"Maybe…you could read to me. Savannah packed a book that she fell in love with and she's been begging me to read it. Would you read it to me?"
"Of course. Where is it?"
Edward got up and went to fish out the book. Last week when I was packing my things for this honeymoon trip, Savannah gave me her book and told me if I got bored I could read it. Bless her heart for thinking that a newly wedded couple could get bored on their honeymoon but I took the book anyway. I was never a big reader. In high school and college it was rare for me to read a book for fun but Savannah was insistent and I wanted to support her in any way she needed.
"Two Moons." Edward announced looking over the cover.
"I don't know…I just know that there is like three books to that series." I waved him off.
"Let's see." Edward turned the book over and began reading from the back of the dust jacket. "Kathryn and Lucas were the best of friends in high school until one event changed their wholes lives causing their once strong friendship to end suddenly. Now nine years later they meet again for the first time. Will they be able to forgive one another? How can you forgive someone when you haven't even forgiven yourself?" Edward sat down on the bed.
"That sounds ominous." I replied.
"Chapter one. Tell me more about this Kathryn Cygnus. Fuck. There's nothing to tell. I growled. I don't believe that's true. You wouldn't have mentioned her if there was nothing to tell, Lucas. Dr. Harper wasn't going to let this go. Of course that's what I paid her for. She gave me the stare, like she had done many times throughout our...history together…."
It was a shame when I fell asleep because I was actually getting into the story. Once Edward got a grasp of the characters he even changed his voice between each character's dialogues so I could know who was talking. Edward's voice was soothing and for a minute I wondered why he didn't do more voice work. He could have had a career doing animation or maybe I just happen to think so because I loved him so much.
I fell into a deep sleep and didn't even feel the boat too much more that night but I did dream of Kathryn and Lucas and wondered if they would ever find each other. Call me a sap and maybe marriage did that to me but suddenly I wanted everyone in the world to find what I had been so lucky to find. I wanted people to find their other halves and I will admit that when I did dream of Kathryn and Lucas that night, I saw Jacob as Lucas. Kathryn was still a bit muddy in my mind and I wondered if that dream was trying to tell me something.
"Honey… can you wake up? It's almost noon and we arrived at destination one." Edward shook me softly.
I may have grumbled and turned over on him.
"Baby…come on. I want to take you ashore."
"Where are we?" I moaned.
"Are you still feeling sick? The storm passed." He replied.
"No…I just feel…hungry."
Edward laughed. "Well if you get your lazy but up I can take you to get food. Authentic Maltese food."
"Maltese?" I asked.
"Yes honey, welcome to the small nation of Malta."
"Where they filmed Troy?" I got up and scratched my head, walking over to the window to take in the sights. All the buildings looked to be carved from the same stone. Everything was this particular shade of brown and rather vast and pleasing. I had never seen anything like it before.
After a nice sensual shower we made our way to see what Malta had to offer us. The people were completely nice and no one even bothered us as we enjoyed our day there. As much as I loved having my family and friends around the past couple days, traveling with Edward was an amazing experience. Just the two of us. We never really had that much alone time and it made me excited for all the new places I would see and knowing I was doing it with the man I loved.
Our day wound down after a romantic dinner on the balcony of a restaurant that overlooked the water, we said farewell to Malta.
"I hope that you enjoyed your time on land because I'm afraid we will be ship bound the next couple of days." Edward cringed as we held hands walking back to our boat.
"Edward, I love the boat. I just didn't do too well with the storm…hopefully it won't be storming wherever we head off to next." I didn't want him regretting his whole honeymoon plans. "Besides, I quite liked you reading to me. I think that may have found a new tradition before we go to sleep."
"Great." Edward mocked his enthusiasm. "Just what I wanted to do with my wife before she goes to sleep on our honeymoon."
I laughed. "Come on Mr. Cullen. You keep attacking me the way you do and my poor pussy cat won't make it to day three on this trip."
"All right Mrs. Cullen. I'll be good."
The weather was much better over the next couple of days and I was able to get in some much needed tanning time as the boat raced toward our next destination. Edward was good to me and read every day from the Two Moons book and I couldn't wait to tell Savannah all about it. As a filmmaker I couldn't help but picture it in my mind and unfortunately when I pictured the characters I couldn't help but picture Jacob which was rather unsettling. Kathryn still remained a mystery but it didn't stop me from trying to cast her.
"Edward." I called out to him. We were both laying in the sun. He was resting and I was reading.
"Yes baby."
"Who would you cast as Kathryn if this was your movie?" I asked.
"That's a tough one. Let's see…she's twenty-seven...I bet you could play her."
"WHAT? NO WAY!" I practically choked on my spit.
"Wow, tell me how you really feel."
"First of all…I'm nowhere near twenty-seven…"
"Bella, this is the entertainment industry. Hell you could have a teenager play Kathryn if you had the right teenager. Make up and wardrobe may do wonders but if the actor is strong and intelligent…she or he can play any age."
I thought on that for a while but still had trouble thinking of someone.
"So…who would you cast?" I asked again still wanting to be able to picture someone beside this Lucas/ Jacob.
"I would probably cast an unknown. Sometimes an unknown it the perfect choice because the audience can fully lose themselves in the film. If you were to cast Lindsey Lohan, people would watch her but in the back of their mind they would be pulled out of the film thinking about all of the girl's real life problems. If you were to cast someone who wasn't a big tabloid draw the audience may still think on the actresses past roles and compare the two. I would go with an unknown…especially if this is a series because you can usually lock the actors in at a reduced rate."
"Edward Cullen!" I exclaimed. "Are you really thinking about the money?"
"Bella, when you produce your first film, you'd better be thinking about the money."
I huffed and sat back in my chair pulling the book up so I couldn't see his face any longer. I hated how right he was and how naïve I sounded. He didn't help me at all with casting choices, not that I was going to even make these books into a movie but still.
"Now now. Don't get all pouty or I will throw you and your book overboard." Edward teased.
I didn't reply I just ignored him best I could. I could hear him sigh and pick himself up from his lounge chair. He stood over me and I looked up to him.
"Do you mind? You're blocking my tanning sun." I said indignantly.
Edward reached down and picked me up.
"Here, let me help you find the sun. I hear one can tan faster when their wet." Edward walked toward the boats edge.
"Stop it! This isn't funny. We're moving." I screamed.
"I don't know. I bet the captain would turn the boat around and go back for you…if I asked him." Edward was almost to the edge.
"You better not or there will be no baby making, love-making or any other making for a month. Don't push me, Cullen."
Edward reached the side and with his mischievous smile he started to lift me over the rail but at the last moment he brought me back.
"Well then Mrs. Cullen, I guess we should finish this dispute in the bedroom."
AN: Thank you for being patient with this update. I apologize but when there is a short work week it makes it really hard for me to work on the story as i write best at my job. Thank you for reading and reviewing and I just wanted to say how truly happy you have made me, several people have expressed their love for this story and that means the world to me.