Momentary Rest
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
"Adjusting came so easily, so naturally, that yesterday feels like years ago." Set in a universe where there were peaceful days. Written in Naegi's POV.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
The best memories are those ordinary instances that become special in time.
Tonight was such a beautiful night. The day was mostly peaceful but the night was just so enticing. From where I was, it was quiet at night. Well, it was true at least outside the workplace. The landscape won't change any time soon which was why I always found myself looking up. When I look up, it's never the same picture. It was always changing.
Tonight was just a testimony to that.
A voice chimed in. "What are you looking at?"
It was Kyoko. I guess she took a break too. Well, I could use the company.
"Hm? Oh, I'm just stargazing." I said in reply.
She looked up as well. "But there's nothing to see. It's all just clouds."
That's right. Tonight, the sky was cloudy.
"I know." I laughed. "Did you know, there's a meteor shower tonight and the five-hour drive countryside has the best visibility for it?"
"Is that so?" She said in a tone laced with only the slightest hint of interest. "Unfortunately, we won't be having the same luxury here."
"This is fine in its own way too." I grinned in contentment.
"How dull." In my peripheral vision, I caught her flipping her hair in sarcasm.
Admittedly, it's not really one of the most amazing sights there is to see. There's literally nothing there and maybe its emptiness was also its allure. But that was just me being poetic or just optimistic again. The meteor shower was an unfortunate loss. Better luck next time then.
Thankfully though, we still have plenty of nights ahead of us.
"Then next time for sure." I faced her. "When we watch the sky then, I'm sure we'll see something amazing."
"We?" She raised an eyebrow.
"Of course! I'd be happy to drag you into star gazing with me again!" I just smiled ridiculously.
Hopefully, the stars would be beautiful by then.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
You don't always remember your dream when you wake up.
The first thing I awoke to was darkness. It was not because it was dark wherever I was but rather I still had my eyes closed. My eyelids were unusually heavy which matched my deadweight body. At least I think I still had my body. I could hear a timed beep every now and then. I'm pretty much sure that the afterlife I've read about didn't have that. Ah, there it was again, that same sharp beep. But even though I had my body, it just wouldn't listen to me. I even tried to scream but no voice left me. It left me being scared. It felt as if I had no control whatsoever.
It felt as if I were helpless.
The feeling crept inside me and slowly consumed me. How long has it been? Was there anyone out there? What's going on? These questions were the only company I had. And for a while, it seemed as if they would be the only company I'd get.
But I didn't want just any company, I wanted to see my companions.
Using every ounce of my energy, I focused on at least opening my eyes. And sure enough, they did open. The light that I saw was almost blinding. As tempting as it was to close them again, the fear that they would not open a second time won over.
This light hurt but I'd always choose it over the dark.
I tried to speak but it came out hoarse and cracked. It was as if my throat had already rusted. "Where… am I?"
"Someone took their time napping." Thankfully, a voice answered me.
And then I realized that I could actually breathe.
"Kyoko?" I asked, unsure. My eyesight was still adjusting so it was hard to tell.
"Good morning." She calmly replied. And oddly enough, I felt the sensation of a hand on top of mine.
"Good… morning… Ugh, my head's still fuzzy." My senses were coming back to me but all at once was proving too much for me to handle. Not only did my body feel abnormally heavy but now I'm getting a migraine too. "What time is it?"
"You clearly haven't recovered your cognitive functions yet. Aren't you supposed to ask for what day it is instead?" She sighed and although her face was still blurry, I could only assume that she had this pitiful look on her face.
"Am I?" I'm just as confused as she claimed me to be.
"To answer your earlier question, it's four AM to be exact. Although, I still have my doubts as to how helpful this information is."
"Ah… so it really is morning. It's plenty helpful… uh, in some way." I bet she thought I was still delirious so answering to that must have been futile.
I guess she's right somehow. All of this still feels surreal. I don't mean anything poetic by that, it's just that this conversation and how my body was just didn't match at all. It was hard to believe. But I was half serious when I said that knowing the time would help. I mean, her being with me at this time of the day is different from her being here at another hour. I'm also thankful that she's a really light sleeper. I think I would've been more panicked than I already am had there been no reply earlier.
Just as always, I'm thankful for Kyoko.
Talking was a lot harder than it should be. I think she noticed that too. The next thing that happened was that I was being helped with a glass of water. The sensation filled my mouth and it felt foreign in there. I'm used to drinking water so why did feel so weird? And when it came to actually swallowing it, it felt like I was swallowing hard and heavy solid lumps instead. I think I spent twice as much effort and time to take a few sips. It was even painful to a certain extent. But it was necessary. I was dehydrated, at least that's what I felt like.
I never knew how much I liked and hated water at the same time.
"Am I… Where am I?" My voice sounded just a bit louder and smoother thanks to the water.
I wonder if I imagined it but for a moment, her unreadable face cracked. "In the hospital for treatment."
"Treatment? Ah!" My head throbbed in pain. The buzzing in the back of my head had amplified.
I think… I was in the hospital now for a reason. The more I tried to pick my memories, the more the noise inside my head grew louder. In the background, I think I could faintly hear Kyoko's voice trying to calm me down but it didn't matter. She felt so far away right now. Argh! The pain's sharper now. Am I even close to remembering it? Think! Think harder! What was I…
I started shouting.
"Wait! The operation! How did the operation go?!" That's it. I remembered.
Kyoko just stared at me. It was the oddest thing I had ever seen. It took her some effort but I clearly saw it still. Her worried look soon became unfeeling.
But not before flashing hints of pain.
"It went on exactly how everyone expected it to go." I remembered her voice too.
This was her professional voice.
That meant I had to be professional too.
"Does that mean?"
"Yes. It failed."
Had she used another tone, she would have said sorry. I'm not mad that she didn't say that though. We both knew why it had to be said this way.
"…Oh, I see. Then for how long was I out?" Slowly, the words poured out of me.
She blinked. "Five days."
I smiled despite myself. "Then I have to make up for lost time. Where are the others?"
No matter the circumstances then, that smile was genuine. I truly meant what I said.
And to prove my point, I wanted to get out of the bed as soon as possible. But that was when I encountered my first real hurdle since waking up. As I tried to get up, I realized that I couldn't. It's not that I couldn't because my body had fallen asleep, it's just that I couldn't feel anything to begin with. Uneasiness swept all over me. It was a feeling I could live without. There was definitely something wrong with my body. Pouring every bit of my remaining strength, I lifted a hand of mine to pull off the blanket on me.
I only had half of a leg on me.
"I guess I'll have to live with this now." My voice sounded so smooth, I was afraid that it wasn't mine.
This was just another result from the operation's failure.
There's still something positive about this though. "Good thing I've been building my upper body strength for a while." I joked.
Kyoko just shook her head. "This is indeed a lot to take in." Her hand found its way back to mine which was shaking. I was just so taken by the action that I forgot to tell her just how much relieved I was to have her here with me.
She was so warm and soothing and real. My eyesight just suddenly began to blur.
Her face softened then. "Makoto, it's okay. We're alone. Nobody's watching. You may… express yourself."
I looked away. As considerate as she was, this was not the time for this. I at least had that excuse. In truth, I didn't want her to see me like this.
It must have been painful for her to just be by my side all this time.
After all, I got myself into a coma. Living every day with the fear of your friend never waking up must have been unbearable. I'm sure that she wanted to cry more than I did. That's why I have to be strong too. Besides, this was not that big of a deal now that I think about it. I could strap on half a prosthetic leg and a crutch, and I'd still be able to walk. Hey, at least I was alive, right? With a newly found resolve, I wiped the tears off my face.
I guess I took off a bit on my own there.
I looked back at her. "Rather than that, could I get a request instead?"
She took few moments to analyze my words first, then she spoke. "That depends. I'll listen either way."
"Thanks for listening. The thing is I don't think I can live on my own at the state I'm in." Which was true but maybe it was unfair of me to take advantage of that. "Consider this as a selfish request from me but this way I have an excuse to have you by my side for the following days." For the remaining days.
I truly am a selfish person.
Kyoko was staring at me for a long while with that unreadable face of hers. She sighed. "It can't be helped."
Was it so wrong of me to be this happy?
"You really are helpless without me." And for the first time since I woke up, I saw a smile on her lips.
I felt like my own smile reached my ears. "At least I'm not hopeless."
The days after would be hard but I at least have this day to make them easier.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Adjusting came so easily, so naturally, that yesterday feels like years ago.
It's been a week since I got out of the hospital after staying three more days there. Kyoko ended up coming with me after all. It looks like we're a young couple or worse, even a married one. But it's not like that between us though. We were friends living together and we weren't looking for anything more than that. Anyways, we're staying at a house on the cliffside for therapeutic reasons. It's what my doctor suggested. Honestly though, the apartment would have been fine. But then again, when I'm out here and the sea breeze comes along, it makes me think that it's worth it.
That we made the right decision.
"Are you sure you don't need help there?" I heard Kyoko's shout from the corridor.
"I'm doing alright so don't worry!" I yelled back.
I could handle at least this much. Thankfully, cooking was one of those chores that didn't require accurate legwork. I could get by with the wheelchair I was using. Unfortunately, Kyoko was not convinced since rather than focusing on doing the laundry, she kept checking on me every now and then. Well, this was my first time to cook unsupervised after being cooped up in that hospital.
After a while, I heard the sound of footsteps.
Then her voice beside me. "But if there's anything I could help with…"
I guess I'm not cooking alone this time as well. "It'd really help me if you could hand me the spice on top of the cabinet. It's really hard to reach."
"Okay, I got it."
"Oh, and after that please slice the vegetables for the salad since I'll be busy with frying."
Between the two of us, I was the better cook by a large margin. And yet still, she doesn't trust me enough to be alone in the kitchen!
"So, how does it taste?" I asked excitedly when we were eating.
"You already know the answer to that and yet you still ask." To which she said with the most anticlimactic voice.
I huffed in disagreement. "No, I don't! It's totally different when someone else comments on your cooking. So do you like it or not?"
"It's not something I would hate." She said nonchalantly.
I smirked. Well, if she won't talk then I might as well put words into her mouth. "I get it. I'll cook your favorite next time."
"That's not what–"
"Ah! Food definitely tastes the best when newly cooked!" I deliberately cut her off.
She sighed. "You're not listening at all, are you?"
"I am. So are you saying that you don't want me to cook your favorite meal?" I looked at her innocently.
"…That's not it either." She was practically shrinking from embarrassment that even her voice was getting softer. "But if you would… please."
"Hahaha, you should be more honest with yourself, Kyoko."
My favorite time of the day is when we eat together, that's because I'm a big fan of our dining table. When we sit across each other like this, I sometimes forget that she's on an ordinary chair and I'm on a wheelchair.
Nothing has changed after all since the food still tastes great.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Expecting for the worst doesn't make it any easier.
It was my last day on the job before the unscheduled long vacation. I was part of the infiltration team. And I use the word team loosely. Even though we were a group, each member had to work on their own individual assignments. So we all basically still end up working solo. I'm set up to check a number of routes before giving the green signal for the rest to use them.
In a way, I guess I'm kind of what you would call first blood.
I was down to my last checkup. After sliding down a chute, I arrived at my target location and did some preliminary inspection.
I held out my phone and dialed a number. "Agent Makoto here at Point SDR2. It's rigged. I'm about to perform disabling."
There was the distinct sound of static on the other end until an automated voice replied. "…Transmission confirmed."
With the standard procedure done, I went and disabled every trap that I could find. I started with scouting and immediately hacking surveillance machines with a device I had on me that did just that. Then I proceeded to handling the more life threatening traps. It was basically just the usual of what I always did but that didn't stop me from getting nervous.
This job meant everything to me.
Just the mere thought of failure especially this time left an unwelcome feeling inside me. Right after this job, I could check how much longer I get to live. But that could wait since I needed to focus now. I stretched just so I could clear my mind. After getting back to work, it didn't take while for me to finish it.
So I dialed the same number again. "Agent Makoto here at Point SDR2. Area is now clear for execution."
"…Transmission confirmed." After a long beep, a voice, this time human, responded. "Expect company in approximately 4 minutes. After confirming contact, touch base."
"Roger that." I said and dropped the call afterwards.
It was protocol to stay alert always.
This was something instilled in every agent during the training. It should be instinctive by now. That's why when I think back to this moment, there really must have been something wrong with me. After all, why else would I have been so careless as to miss one hidden trap? And worse yet, I had to walk straight right into it. My luck never failed me even then.
In hindsight, I knew there was something odd about the slightly loose tile.
Though I didn't have the luxury of time to think about my mistake. The explosion beneath me would leave me unconscious even days after the operation.
I only had one job. And I screwed up.
The worse has yet to come.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
When is it appropriate to ask certain things?
We're now on our second week. It was awkward for the first few days but I think we're already past that by now, at least I hope so. That's why I thought that this was as good as any chance to take another step forward. Two weeks hasn't been that long but it's precisely because I don't have that long left either. So when I found her on one Tuesday morning, leisurely reading a book on our veranda, I thought that the breeze felt so calming, so right, that day that I found myself brimming with confidence.
I finally asked her. "Kyoko, let's go out for a walk."
She closed the book she was reading just then. "If you insist."
To be honest, I've always wanted to go out for a walk but I wasn't sure if Kyoko was okay with it. She'd probably agree anyways but I wouldn't want that if she was still unsure inside. She's a lot more sensitive than she lets on. I think it's an endearing trait of hers. I bet she thought that it would hurt me if she suggested it first.
That's because a lot of the things that I used to do have all been reduced to sitting.
Instead of standing, I sit. Instead of jumping, I sit. Instead of walking, I sit.
That's why she's been careful all this time when choosing her words and when suggesting things for us to do. I guess what she didn't know was that I too have been just as careful. I understood that she was just trying her best to comfort me while I did my share of not giving her more reasons to worry about.
Sometimes, it's the injured party who has to be more considerate.
"Lucky! The clouds are blocking the sun so it's not that hot." I exclaimed as soon as we gone out.
"We could've used an umbrella if that were not the case." She said as she walked beside me.
"What are you talking about? It's much more fun when your hands are free!" While I did have the best intentions when I said that, that was still tactless of me.
She winced. "That is… true."
Well even though I did say that, my hands weren't necessarily free. I wanted to walk. That meant that I wanted to move my wheelchair on my own. Did I mention that this was the first time I left the house? Working on the wheelchair indoors was so much more different than the outdoors where the ground was uneven and even the tiniest rocks feel like the shortest powerful earthquakes. Naturally, it took a whole lot longer than usual.
A five minute walk felt like forever.
But that's just me. While I was busy trying to overcome the most insignificant pebbles, I totally forgot about Kyoko. While I was struggling all this time, she was doing nothing. It must have been agonizing just watching me and feel absolutely helpless. Whenever I chanced a glance at her, all I saw was a hesitant hand. She wants to help but she's unsure on whether or not it's what I want. This walk has been relaxing only to me.
I guess that was insensitive of me.
"I'm hungry!" I burst out all of a sudden. "Let's go back."
She looked at me incredulously. "Huh? But we haven't gotten that far yet." True enough, it's not even remotely far unless you can't see where you came from. Yet we could still see the house from here.
"This is plenty enough exercise."
"Tired already?" She jabbed at me.
"Didn't you hear me earlier? Hunger is the ultimate motivation." I declared so myself. It was the reason that overrides all logical thought.
It was also a good enough excuse.
Timidly, I called her out. "Also, Kyoko?"
"Yes?"
It was still a bit embarrassing for me to say this so I looked away. "It's uphill on the way back. Maybe… you could help?"
Please don't let me die of embarrassment before she answers.
"I was getting tired myself." I could hear the smile in her voice, or was it a smirk? "It took you a while to finally ask."
And when I felt my wheelchair move, I realized that those unsure hands from before were not so hesitant anymore. While the first part of the walk had me filled with self-esteem, the way back was not so bad either. Having someone to rely on was a great feeling to have and I treasure it preciously. The support I got from Kyoko pushing my wheelchair from behind was my favorite part of the walk.
It was just as comforting as actually holding hands.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
When you have nothing else to lose, doesn't that make you want to change all the more?
One month later and I had a prosthetic leg attached to what was left of my right leg. After I have adjusted, they'll supposedly attach a whole left leg on me. Right now, I just don't see that happening. After getting used to being reduced, this new appendage just seems out of place. I can see that it's there, I just don't feel that it's there. It's like another piece of clothing was just strapped on. The extra weight felt real though.
More than that, it felt just like another burden weighing down on me.
I felt like I was always like this. It's only been short but I've grown so accustomed to how I am right now that I've stopped thinking about how I did things before. It scared me when I realized that I had already forgotten what having working legs felt like or even just the weight of one.
Just the thought of forgetting was frightening enough.
However, just like last time, I've adapted. Trying to walk with the new leg and a crutch kept me busy these past few days. With my other arm, I either leaned on Kyoko or on the walls for support. I know it's not much but I'm making progress. But what I like the most now is that I could actually stand. While it's true that I wasn't that tall to begin with, sitting down all the time isn't all that great.
It's as if everything was looking down on me.
Everything looks so much more intimidating when you're only mode of transit is a chair with wheels that could easily topple over. It's a good thing that I have only been in contact with Kyoko and the doctor. I don't think I could handle other people and their pitiful stares.
If I saw Kyoko with that look on, it would probably hurt me more.
That's why I decided to practice by myself while she was out to get some groceries. After all, what's the worst that could happen, right?
But I forgot how I was my own worst enemy.
I hate being left alone.
No matter how often it happens, I would never get used to it. I wanted, no, desperately needed someone, anyone. Because when you're weak, the last thing you want is to be alone. That's the most dangerous situation you could get yourself into. Alone meant no one to talk to which equates to no distractions. Your mind would have a lot of free time to think.
The thoughts that would come were merciless.
Negative thoughts, regrets, unfulfilled dreams, the list goes on forever. And it's the thoughts that you most wouldn't want to think about that keep coming back to haunt you. Time passes ever so slowly so by the time that a minute passes, you've already thought about 10 years' worth of horror.
I was an exception to this.
Or so I was.
I am what people would describe as ridiculously hopeful. Some would even go so far as to say that I am the master at it. I admit, I am a positive thinker. But…
The operation failed.
I punched the wall.
There's not much time left now. And here I am, bringing Kyoko down with me, guilt-tripping her to stay with me. I am despicable, right?
I punched harder.
My vision was getting blurrier by the second as I vented out all my frustrations on the poor undeserving wall. I hated what I got myself into. I hated how I acted. And I hated how helpless I really was.
I wanted to punch myself just as hard as I was punching right now.
"Makoto?" That's when Kyoko suddenly entered the room.
It felt like forever since the last time I saw eye to eye with her like this.
Although if I had to choose, I wish it wasn't at this moment. In this moment of weakness of mine.
"Kyo…ko." My strength left me and I crumpled onto the floor.
"Makoto!" Dropping all the bags, she rushed straight toward me.
This was it. She'd stare at me like some pitiful kid and say something unnecessary like it's fine. Her hands were on my face, forcing me to look at her, but I didn't give in. I didn't want to see her face right now. I heard her sigh and gently, maybe even awkwardly, she hugged me.
And I heard the most comforting words ever.
"Even when everything is not fine, I will always be here." She whispered as she tightened the embrace.
How could I not cry to that?
"I'm… sorry." I managed to choke out. And it felt like it wasn't enough so I kept saying it. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
I wanted to apologize until I couldn't anymore. And then apologize some more.
Sometimes, even the strongest person breaks down.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Normal is always a good thing.
After that incident, Kyoko and I talked it out and I even got scolded for a bit. Oddly enough though, it still comforted me even then. With that filed into yesterday, we've moved on. I'm somewhat used to the crutch now and it seems as if everything has gone back to normal.
Well, normal was subjective, right?
"I said I was sorry!" I earnestly begged her.
"And how is that working out for you?" She coldly replied.
Let me explain. While trying to support me on the crutches like usual, I accidentally elbowed her instead. It was more powerful than I thought since she got a nosebleed right after. So now she's in the bathroom, treating herself and refusing my offers to help. Not that I blame her of course.
"Has the bleeding stopped?" I asked as I knocked from outside the door. I had already helped myself to the wheelchair earlier.
"Yeah. So could you wait for me in the living room?" I heard from inside.
"Sure, but it'd take a whole lot off my chest if I saw you okay now."
"I'd rather you not see me like this."
I blinked. "That's it? Come on, I've seen you in worse." As in way worse.
She answered back. "You're clearly missing the point. That was at work."
"I don't really have a say in this, do I?" My face scrunched up right before sighing. "I got it. I'll see you in a few."
It's true that I did say I'd wait for her here but for how long? I needed something to kill time. The television was out of the question. We made it a point not to read newspapers, watch the news or go online. We needed to take our minds off those things. I think there were some board games around here so I went and rummaged through the drawers.
Hopefully, I'd find something.
Minutes later, she finally decided to join me. "Shall we continue where we left off?"
"Nah, maybe later. I'm already invested in this." I replied, never taking my eyes off what I was doing.
"You're playing Jenga on your own?" She asked.
"Is there any other way to play Jenga?" I casually answered.
It took one full second before I felt her hand pat me on the shoulder which made me look up at her. The look she gave me and the events that followed confirmed something for me.
My whole life was a lie.
"I can't believe I've been doing it wrong the whole time!" My face had disbelief written all over it.
"Well, I wouldn't call it wrong per se but rather… solitary." She said sympathetically. She eventually joined me and showed me the right way of playing which was with the company of others.
The gears inside my head clicked into place. "Wait, I just realized something." I slammed my hands on the handles of my wheelchair. This was the closest action to standing that I could do. "My sister knew all along! And she never told me! Ack! Now that I look back, those weird glances she gave me were all suspicious!" I ranted.
"It's no use dwelling over the past." She chided me like a responsible adult did to a raving child.
"But it's still embarrassing!" I yelled in shame.
"I think it's worth the embarrassment." She chuckled and with that, she finished her turn. "You're making such a cute face. Adorable even."
The tower fell apart at my hands.
"N-no fair! Saying something like that all of a sudden!" I stuttered and I could imagine my face already becoming red. It was hard to stay calm after what she said.
"It was a joke." She chuckled some more. So it really was a joke?
I shouted. "Either way is bad. You're horrible, Kyoko!"
"At least I'm just horrible. You, however, lost." She giggled in victory.
Arguing with her was useless. Her logic was always sound. I still wished she wasn't having that much fun teasing me sometimes. I might actually die of embarrassment. But the Jenga that we played that day was really different than from all the previous games I've played. It was so much more fun.
There really are some games best played with others.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
The best moments are those you least expect.
A month and a half since the operation and things couldn't have been better. With so much free time on my hands and the much needed support, I was able to practice a lot with the crutches. In fact, I got so good at it that I'm now using a cane instead, with of course, the occasional help from Kyoko. This did earn me some praise from her but hearing it from someone else left me accomplished.
I never knew how great it felt to show off until it happened.
"Yo! Naegichi! The fortunes are aligned for us to meet again." That familiar rustic voice yelled.
"'Sup! Naegi! Got anything to eat with you?" Another joined right after.
"Hey, Makoto! It's been so long." A cheerful voice chimed.
"Remind me again why I must meet with the plebeian?" And then there's that one that's unlike the others.
For the first time in ages, there were guests in the house.
And for the first time in a month and a half, I reunited with my companions whom I all consider to be dear friends. They were actually here. I thought that since the operation failed, they wouldn't even see me but I'm happy to be wrong this time. I never realized just how much I actually missed all of them until I saw their faces just now. Even Kyoko seemed relieved and even elated at the surprise visit. She looked as if she was enjoying herself. It was incredible how our house suddenly transformed into a louder and a whole lot livelier home with their visit but more than that, it's now more complete.
It just felt like we all belonged together like this.
Being together again like this made me forget about all the worries and the problems that I had. I even completely forgot about my condition. But it wasn't all about forgetting. It was nostalgic to be around them. I kept remembering all those memories I've had with them, whether good or bad, they're all very precious to me. Just like how this day would soon turn into another memory. I wanted to treasure this wonderful feeling for as long as I could remember it. And as we continued to bond even if only for just today, I could only feel happiness bubble from me.
I never felt this content with my life since the operation.
I wish these peaceful days would last forever.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
All emergency news are bad news.
"Attention! This is a DESPAIR advisory! Attention!"
Every screen and monitor had the same logo flashed with the same eerie and somewhat inhuman voice screeching from it. It was more inhumane than inhuman though.
"Did that get your attention? Weeeeell, it's not like anyone cares, right? On behalf of the organization that's been dedicating all their time and efforts to make every second of your pathetic lives miserable, I have some veeeeery exciting news for you all!" The sound effects were like taken from a game show. It sounded so lively that it actually made it all the more sickening.
"It's been a great time spending all those years in despair with you all so we thought that you deserve some sort of reward. Isn't that right?" Pre-recorded cheers and applause resounded.
"That's what we thought. But you've all been so kind to us by easily breaking down, giving up and giving in to the despair that we thought that not just any gift would do. Nooooo, it has to be special. Spectaculaaaar!" The crowd became wilder.
"This time, we've all taken the kindness in our hearts to decide for you your special day!" A climactic drum roll thudded. "That's riiiiight! Mark your calendars because D-day has already been set! Hurray! Bring out the booze and celebrate!"
"Ah, but don't drink too much. We don't want you to die before it all ends. That's no fuuuuun." Right on cue, laughter broke out.
"In exactly 36 hours, we'll be executing the plan that would ultimately lead to synchronizing all of the satellites to coooooome back home in 2 months! Because we all miss them soooo much!" A collective aww was heard.
"Don't worry if you think you'll be unlucky enough to not welcome them back. You see, we even took it to the extra mile and determined the coordinates for every satellite. And there's like 12,475 of them and it'd be a total waste if they just bumped into each other halfway. That way, everyone gets the chance to greet at least one, so noooo fighting!" Clapping ensued.
"I know, we're too kind. But that's not aaaaall!" The voice cackled. "For those who plan to hide inside their safety bunkers, the ones that are supposedly to be warhead-proof? We made sure that the satellites are well-equipped to do wooooonders!" The studio audience ooh-ed.
"That's all. We wish you all the best of memories until then which is why from the moment of activation, we will suspend all despair-inducing activities. And do you know whyyyyy?" The voice chortled and suddenly all the other noise was drowned out. "You'll be despairing on your own. Just knowing the inevitable end will kill you inside. To watch you all panic over the little remaining time will be the climax of this despair!"
"There's so much more to say but sadly, we're ouuuuut of time! Such a shame but that's all for now." In the most preppy voice, one would even say mocking, the final word was dropped. "DESPAAAAIR!"
And that's when all hell broke loose all over again.
"We've been monitoring the situation and gathered as much allies and information the time allowed. It's been 9 hours since the announcement came and we've planned enough for our countermeasure." Our leader broadcasted.
The tension in the room was palpable.
"We've been fighting despair for years now. And the struggle is far from over. However!" His voice boomed. "That's no excuse for us to slack off. You all saw that announcement. You all saw how they mocked us."
"I tell you this. We are not helpless!" One by one, those who had their heads bowed out of shame started to take pride in themselves.
They were being filled with not just confidence but also hope.
"Even though we're against the same enemy, we're all fighting for our own personal reasons. Don't let them look down on us and our reasons!"
"This isn't just for humanity… not for millions of faces we don't know." By now, everyone was already standing proud and ready. He only needed to utter the words. But he shouted them instead. "More importantly, this is for our loved ones! For the people who do matter! And for ourselves!"
The room was loud in agreement.
"This operation must not fail at all costs!" He shouted and everyone else joined in.
This was a tumultuous moment in the history of our organization. Never before had we felt our bonds to be as strong as this. We were prepared to face anything. We were practically brimming with determination. It was not happiness that overflowed from us on that they, it was hope. And as for hopes, we were the most hopeful yet.
But it still failed in the end though.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
It took a while but we finally saw the sky we both wished for in our memories.
Unfortunately though, it was no meteor shower. It was not something as magical as that. These were satellites that were raining on us. These were the foreign objects that were about to kill us. They were the imminent threats, the inescapable deaths, and they littered the skies as we just gaze on. These were death sentences.
But from our point of view, they were no different from shooting stars.
As terrifying as they were, they were just as beautiful.
"At least the last thing we'll see isn't too graphic." I awkwardly joked. "To be honest, I thought I'd die on the job."
"Aren't you lucky that you didn't though?" She joked back.
"I guess I really am."
And we fell back into a comfortable silence.
We just watched as stars streaked the nightsky and disappeared just as soon as they appeared. They were ever fleeting. And even though it was already night, it was unsurprisingly bright. There were just too many, almost simultaneously, that they lit up the sky.
It won't be too long before they light up the ground too.
"Thank you."
To my surprise, it was Kyoko who spoke first this time.
"I'm happy to have spent these last few days with you, Makoto." She spoke as if these were her final words. And I wasn't too happy to hear them. I just wasn't ready for them. "I could not ask for a better friend to accompany me."
Looking at our hands held together like that gave me a sense of urgency. I guess it's just about time we say goodbye.
"Normally, I'd say, you're welcome, but I think you forgot that it was me who asked you stay by my side." I would try my best to at least not cry until the end. I promised myself that I would smile until the last moment. "So thanks too, anyways."
"How disappointing." She sighed and I could feel all the tension leave her in that one breath. "I at least wanted my last moment to be thankful to you but apparently, you had other plans."
"Well, to be honest, owing you wasn't exactly on my to-do list before I die." I chuckled.
"Look at us. Aren't we too happy?" She asked in all seriousness.
"Don't we deserve to be at least this happy?" I answered seriously too.
We both knew the answer to that question.
"I wanted to play another round of Jenga." I started.
"I wanted to eat my favorite dish again." She seconded.
And then we both burst into laughter.
"If it makes you feel any better, if there ever is an afterlife, let's meet up there." I smiled one last time, it was my brightest smile ever.
"Okay. See you later?" She smiled back.
"Yeah, see you later." It was also her brightest smile ever.
There was a flash of blinding light and a loud thunderous boom followed. It was only then that I felt the indescribable terror sink in. Blinded and deafened, I felt so alone at that point. It scared me. But I wasn't dead yet. The dead don't feel. And yet, I still felt my hand clutching hers. We were both still here even if only for a few moments more. And we would both go together. But at that time, all I could think about was how nice her hand felt in mine.
And for the briefest of moments, I sincerely wanted to live.
The sky was most beautiful on the night that the world ended.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Shinra-ex-SOLDIER
Omake: HOT WHEELS
Kirigiri: Ah, Makoto. Could you hold this for me?
Naegi: Sure, no problem.
Kirigiri: And I'd be happy if you would accompany me to the laundry room.
~xoxo~xoxo~
Kirigiri: Makoto, there you are. Would you be so kind as to handle these boxes?
Naegi: Yeah, sure thing.
Kirigiri: Help me place those in the kitchen.
~xoxo~xoxo~
Kirigiri: Makoto. I need you to hold this for a while.
Naegi: Uh, sure?
Kirigiri: Thanks, now get to the living room.
~xoxo~xoxo~
Naegi: It feels as if ever since we moved in, I've been demoted to the human trolley.
Kirigiri: Ah, so you noticed.
Naegi: How couldn't I?!
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
NOTE:
Fast forward to one month (and two-thirds) later, I'm back. I know it's been a while and truthfully, I'm not supposed to be back yet but I'm running out of vacation days. Plus, I missed this and most especially, you guys and gals!
If you were expecting a light and happy chapter then I'm sorry to disappoint. However, if you compare my wording of where the universe is set with that of Chapter 3 then you'd clearly see that I have a way with twisting words.
REPLY TO REVIEWERS: (Are you still alive?!)
TheRoseShadow21 - I'm (not) sorry for making the childhood theme so sad. But hey, rest assured that I'll eventually work on a happier one now that the sad one's done. Eventually.
ghostgirlheartfillia - If that's what you're looking for then you got yourself a deal. Honestly though, your review did haunt me in my sleep sometimes. THAT'S WHY I CAME BACK.
passwordrawr - Was the angst up to par? :D
Thank you for the new favs and follows from annfitrah, shiki63
Hopefully, I'll be able to do a few chapters before I start my last year in college. If I do get this to 10 chapters before then, I'll chip in an extra chapter. (I won't spoil the twist for that yet.) Anyways, here's a (7k+ words) ridiculously long comeback chappie!
~xoxo~xoxo~
I hope to hear you all alive in a review. And you could even rant on how much you hate me for letting you wait this long. Be more honest and expressive since you'll be hearing from me again. Upupupu!