Broken Spirits
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
"I was confident that just like always, we'd get out alive. I just didn't expect that it was only one of us this time."
Set in a universe where there are two types of people: alive and dead. Sometimes though, there are phantasms.
Makoto used to be alive until Kyoko found him dead.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Kirigiri's POV
What was it like before all of this?
There were a lot of things going on in my mind but I could not say the same for my body. Was I dreaming? I could not feel anything, not even see my own skin. Everything was so dark. When did I close my eyes? How strange, I can't even recall if I did shut my eyes in the first place. My line of sight was all over the place, desperately trying to catch a glimpse of something or anything for that matter. I glanced down to where my body supposedly was. Nothing. Perhaps, I should panic now but then again, that would be a waste of energy.
I wanted to explore more on the other possibilities but I caught something faint. There was this small buzzing noise and it was getting louder and sharper at an alarming rate. Soon enough, my ears were ringing and just before I could go deaf, I had remembered.
I remembered how to open my eyes and that's precisely what I did.
The ringing was subsiding now and finally, color filled my vision. Smoke and dust filled the air but it was better than the darkness I had been in. It seemed as though I was in a room inside a dilapidated building given how the floor and walls were like. I am certain of that which is why there were two things out of place in this room: me and the dust-filled air. I went straight into investigating the source of the latter and stumbled upon a collapsed wall. Upon further investigation, I found two points of interest.
First: The jacket of a certain someone covering something irregular in form yet familiar to me which I could only assume to be a corpse.
Second: The owner of the said jacket quivering just a few feet away.
My instincts were nagging at me. Something was wrong here and I could not tell what it was because at the moment, there were a lot of things out of place: my fainting, my disorientation after regaining consciousness, the broken down wall, the broken body underneath that, and the even more broken Makoto Naegi in front of me. There were so many things wrong here and yet I could not quite remember the first wrong thing to happen to make all of this possible. I knew however, that there was at least someone whom I could question.
"Makoto?" I tentatively called out to him.
No response.
"Makoto." I called again.
Still no response.
"Makoto Naegi!" I shouted this time.
It took him five full seconds before he properly reacted by jumping a bit out of his crumpled state. His head turned as he searched for where I had called him. Until finally, his eyes met mine.
His immediate reaction would haunt me forever.
He then turned to me and just froze. He was so still that I almost believed that I was merely hallucinating an image of him. This was not his normal reaction and I could not wrap my head around as to why. I knew that I was going nowhere with this investigation so I had to ask.
"What happened?"
He looked at the corpse for a long while and then back at me. His face was grim and his eyes were cold. And then he said the last thing I wanted to hear.
"I'm dead."
It killed me to hear him say that.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
There were five stages of grief and I was at the first while he was at the last.
Denial. "You can't be dead. You're right here in front of me."
Acceptance. "I'm dead. I'm in front of you right now but I'm also there crushed by the rubble."
We were at the opposite ends of the spectrum and it seemed as if we were going to stay there. How could I possibly accept this fact? The dead don't speak, they stay dead. I am the SHSL Detective not Spirit Medium. I deal with corpses but not their souls. Likewise, I have my own spiritual beliefs.
"There's no such things as ghosts." I said defiantly.
He flinched at this and looked away, as if it took his breath right out of him. Breath. That's right. He's still alive, I mean, he has to be. Otherwise, there must be some sort of machinery at work but paranormal? Impossible.
I saw his fists clench and when he turned to look at me again, I immediately regretted everything I had said. "Are you saying that I don't exist?"
This feeling had a name.
I spoke slowly, carefully, as if my very own words could possibly kill him. "I didn't say that. I'm saying that you're not dead."
"I know this is hard for you. But we're not really in the best of situations to argue about this. I'm dead and that's… final."
"We can't say for sure. Not until we check the corpse."
My hand automatically went for the jacket –
"DON'T!"
Makoto shouted, half-pleaded. There was a sense of urgency, no, not quite. It was more than that. Was it panic? It was desperation. I recognized the face he wore. How could I not when it was the very same I was wearing?
What was this feeling called again?
"Please. Don't touch that." His voice was so hoarse that I almost didn't hear it. But I did. Because right now all of my focus was on him, right now he exists in front of me, and right now, it was as if it was only him in this world. Right now, his voice was broken just like himself. "If you do, I'm afraid I just might disappear."
My outstretched arm, mere inches away from the evidence, has frozen. I hated this. Uncertainty was something I do not dwell in for long and especially not if discovering the truth was so readily available, so easily achievable, and even if it was so heartbreakingly painful. I'm a detective.
For the first time in my entire life, I used my profession as something more than a job.
"But we need to check if this really is your body." I firmly said.
It was a convenient excuse.
He clenched his teeth. I could tell that he was trying hard not to just break down and cry. Watching him like this has the oddest effect on me. I want to cry. But for whose sake? For his or… for mine?
"That's my jacket. Let's not joke around anymore." He stood up and suddenly, the air around him changed. With hardened eyes and a straight posture, it honestly intimidated me. "Fine. You want logic? I'll convince you with logic."
And his voice was just as relentless.
"Hey, Kyoko. If I travelled back in time and met my past self. What do you think would happen?"
I blinked, taken aback. "A paradox." Theoretically, there should only exist one version of the self at a given timeline. What happens when two exists and what more if they meet is unprecedented.
He nodded though it was more like him convincing himself than me. "That's right."
And then just like that, the intimidating Makoto was no more. In his place was the same broken one before and he was crumbling in front of me. He was finally sobbing and it took all of my strength not to join him. Another part of me though was thinking something else and I hate myself for thinking such small things when such an important person in my life was so vulnerable. But I still thought about it.
So ghosts can cry.
Makoto sobbed even harder. "And that's what scares me now. Maybe what's keeping me back here is because I haven't yet fully realized that I'm dead, not until I see my corpse."
He was choking on his own words, his body violently shook at times, and at certain points, I thought that he was choking to death. But that won't be happening now, would it?
Desperation had a vice grip on his voice, twisting his words to sound even more painful. "Right now, the last thing I want is to disappear. I mean, I'm already dead… so can't I have at least this much?"
I honestly didn't know how to answer that.
Makoto is dead.
Makoto is dead. His corpse is beside me and his ghost is in front of me.
"All right. I understand. I'm sorry." What else was I supposed to say? What else could I say? "I'm sorry, Makoto."
There were a lot of things I wanted to say. There were still a lot of things I wanted to do. For starters, I wanted to cry at this very moment. But I could not do that. Just like how I could not hold him anymore, and suddenly a lot of the things that I could normally do was taken away from me.
And then what would be left of me?
Even though I'm not the one who died, I lost some of the things that I do to live.
"No, I should be the one apologizing." Why was he looking at me like that?
And why can't I look at him in the eyes? "We should at least give you a proper burial."
This feeling had a name…
"Stop." As if on cue, the sound of footsteps echoed the nearby hallway. "We can't afford to do that now. I'm sorry but we have to leave it as it is."
"Understood." I said monotonously as I easily shifted into work mode. My mind was pushing back that feeling I had just now.
And it was despair.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
It was easy to fall back and just lose yourself in work.
By now, what just happened earlier was already far away. The enemies who were closing in on us had a better chance of reaching me, than that memory. We were trying to exit the building with little to no contact. The last thing we needed was any more… casualties. Makoto was leading the way. He said that since he was already dead, it was better if he charged in first. And while that was a sound plan, I could not help but feel uneasy.
It was as if one wrong move could take him away again and this time, permanently.
My hand reached out for his –
And passed through.
Time stopped for me at that moment. I stood still frozen on the spot. My ears were ringing again and it was overpowering all my other senses. My mind was blank and to sum up the feeling, it was as if I had closed my eyes but could not remember when I did just that. Were my eyes closed again? Then I should probably open them now. Did I forget how to do that as well?
And although time did stop for me, it was still moving for everyone else. I knew because I saw it moving right before me. Staring at Makoto who turned around and looked at me worriedly, even time moves for the dead.
Bullets came in from the far right.
"Take cover!" He shouted as he jumped towards me in an attempt to take me to the safety of the wall.
I gave him no such opportunity. I dodged at the last second but still fell back behind the wall. Never again. I don't want to not feel that again. That's because if that were to happen again, time might just stop forever for me and I would relive the sickening moment over and over again.
Passing through each other was the worst lack of feeling ever.
"Are you alright?" He said almost as if out of breath.
"I'm fine." I replied mechanically.
"Good. Now let's go so we could lose them." Quickly regaining his bearings, he stood up and waited for me to do the same.
And just like that, time started moving again even if mine was already late.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
We were on the run.
The possibility of our cover being blown was always on our minds but we didn't expect them to attack us in public. The last thing we wanted was civilian casualties so we escaped to this abandoned building. We've already contacted the headquarters but it wasn't for backup. We were either getting through this alive or dead but either way, it was just the two of us. Part of the job description was to minimize casualties and that meant that merely two operatives were not worth sacrificing a dozen men.
We were outnumbered and they were pretty loud about it. I could hear hundreds of footsteps coming into the building from different entranceways. If they were giving us this much attention then we were probably high on the hit list. The situation was not in our favor. Even if we don't run into them in the hallway, there's a chance that they've already set up traps for us. Well, it's not like this would be our first time. We had plenty of similar experiences and we survived.
I was confident that just like always, we'd get out alive.
I just didn't expect that it was only one of us this time.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
It was a moment of reprieve.
"Let's wait it out here for a while until things calm down."
I think that he said something of the sort. I could not tell. My mind was still wrapped around other things that I could not focus on the dire situation at hand. Makoto's life was over. Part of the things that were over now was the fact that I could no longer touch him. He was intangible and yet here he was, clearly visible. What would happen to us now?
"Kyoko! I'm right here. What are you looking for, staring so far away?" Since when did his face get this close?
I blinked and came to my senses. "Did I look like that to you?"
He was about to say something in retort but stopped halfway. He heaved a sigh and when he looked back at me, his gaze was softer. It was so soft in fact that it was almost too painful to look at.
That's why I looked away.
"When we get back, let's do lots of things together." He grinned. It was sincere and just a little bit sad.
It confused me. "I don't think I understand. I thought you were dead."
"Yeah, but I'm still here now, right?" He hummed and the room felt much more homely than it was supposed to be. Makoto just has that effect wherever he was. "I wonder if only you can see me though." I could hear his mischievous grin through his voice. "If that's the case, we should do some pranks!"
He was always such a kid. "How old are you again?"
"I guess you're right. Pranks get old too fast." I suppose he frowned for a second but then as if someone had flipped a switch, he was bright all over again. "I know! You could be a magician or something and I'd help out on the tricks. We'd be the best in the business and no one can copy us because we're the real deal!"
"That's cheating." My lips twitch in amusement.
"No, that's called a trick." In my peripheral vision, I saw him wave his hands in a grandiose manner for emphasis. "But it'll be better if we call it magic when we perform."
I chuckled. "With your luck, even if we're the best magicians, we'd be kicked out as soon as we enter the competition."
"That's mean!" He puffed, only to deflate right after. "It only hurts more because it's true."
"All right." I finally gave in. "Let's do all sorts of things when we get back. Promise?"
When I finally turned to look at him, he was not at all how I thought he would be.
"Promi–" His words were cut off by a muffled groan as he forcefully clamped his teeth on his arm to muffle what was supposed to be a scream of agony. He was sweating profusely and pain bombarded his body. Trembling, he was a crumpled mess leaning against the wall. But what caught my attention most of all was the growing red stain on his white polo.
The dead don't bleed.
"Kyoko… I can explain." He collapsed before he could even do just that.
And he never did say his promise.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
This was the beginning of the end.
"It's clear here." I heard Makoto say as he checked a room for us to hide in.
I followed suit only to shiver. This didn't go unnoticed to him though.
"Cold?"
"Chilling. The draft here is strong."
He took off his jacket and tossed it to me. "Here, use mine."
I didn't know it back then how such an ordinary jacket could weave such a complicated web.
"Thanks." As I slid on the jacket, a familiar warmth soon overcame me.
This wasn't the first time I've borrowed his jacket. I've used it so many times that if only this wasn't his favorite jacket, I would be sure that he would have given it to me ages ago. Then again, perhaps it's precisely because it was his favorite which made it my favorite as well. Even though it smelled like moth balls, I found that scent reassuring. As I stepped back to lean against a wall, I made a fatal mistake.
I didn't do a double check of the room.
First, there was a sharp electronic sound and then in an instant, the wall came crashing down on me while my ears were ringing.
And then there was darkness.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Makoto's POV
In one moment, there was the two of us, and in the next, it was only me.
The explosion was strong enough to force me to the other end of the room. My heart was racing. Disoriented, I tried to make sense of what was happening. I was talking to Kyoko and then… then what? There's smoke and dust everywhere. Wait, that's it. There was an explosion.
Where was the explosion?
My heart was beating faster every second. I was afraid that it might just beat so fast that it'll explode. But that wasn't what terrified me the most. Alarm bells were ringing inside my mind. It felt like I was too slow. I was too slow getting there. I was too slowing digging through the rubble. I was just too slow.
I was too slow and now I was too late.
This sick feeling that I was getting, this hopelessness that filled me, I hated it. The world was set in grayscale. My hands were getting more battered and bruised as I tactlessly dug through concrete and swallowed the foreboding feeling that I was getting. This was painful, I'm pretty sure that I should be writhing in agony right now but there was a more dominant feeling assaulting me.
Between my throat and my chest, there exists something. And it's choking me.
I'm not fast enough!
Too slow! Too late!
I can still reach her!
Her luck is better than mine!
There's still hope!
And then purple suddenly filled my vision.
"Kyo-Kyoko!" I yelled.
No matter how exhausted I was at that point, I felt a surge of strength. At that time, I forgot that I even had hands to begin with. I thought that they were replaced momentarily with invincible tools meant for digging. And yet, for something invincible, I felt so weak. I dug deeper and harder as if I was doing the same thing to that negative mass between my throat and my chest. I clawed at whatever my hands would touch. But it was never enough. I dug deeper, I clawed harder, and I tried to pull her body out of the rubble but there was just so much on top of her, too much in fact that it could actually –
"Kyoko!" I yelled again. "Everything's going to be fine! I'm here!"
But I wasn't fast enough.
I was too slow.
I was too late.
When I checked her pulse, I checked it again. And again. And again, and again.
"I'm here!" I yelled. "I'm here!" I yelled again. "I'm here!"
And again. And again, and again.
Finally, that surge of invincibility left me drained.
And I just stopped.
"I'm here so why aren't you with me?" Sobs wracked my body with such viciousness, I could barely recognize myself.
Her face looked so peaceful, I felt even worse. In a desperate attempt to shield myself from more pain, I tried to hide her face in the hoodie. The guilt was just too much. This happened under my watch. This was all my fault. I slowly backed away and just let the mass of emotions take over.
Despair was consuming me and I just let it be.
"Makoto Naegi!" A familiar voice called me back to earth.
And then there she was. Kyoko Kirigiri had come back to haunt me.
"What happened?" She asked.
There were two Kyoko's in the room: one was dead underneath the rubble and the other was standing in front of me.
Have I gone mad? Was I hallucinating? It didn't matter. This Kyoko was better than the one lifeless and broken. This Kyoko looked so very much alive that if only I had no memory of everything before this, I would have believed that she was alive. But she's not. Kyoko is dead and I can only assume that this was her ghost haunting me. However, it seemed that she has no idea she's that same Kyoko. What will happen when she finds out?
Will she disappear too?
I don't want another repeat of the first. I will protect Kyoko this time at all costs.
"I'm dead."
And that was the beginning of my first secret from Kyoko.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
I will be hated when she finds out that I lied to her.
And knowing her, she will find out. It's in her nature, it's in her bloodline. This charade was just a waste of energy and yet I find myself still acting. I'm desperately trying to protect something. I know I say it's her but I also know that I'm doing this for myself as well. If she's not just a hallucination then that makes me even worse as a person.
I'm trying to stop Kyoko's spirit from moving on.
What does it mean to disappear anyways? Will it be painful? I don't think I can bear to watch her go through it if it was.
Ah, I'm thinking about myself again. I don't want to be left behind. She's right here, right now. She's beside me and I want things to stay like this. And who's to say that when she realizes that she's dead, she'll disappear? Maybe she won't and I'm just being selfish.
Even if it proves that this whole act is in vain, I sincerely hope that when you do expose the truth, you won't disappear.
So until then, let me live in this world.
In a world where I'm dead and you're alive.
Because I honestly wish that was the case and not the other way around.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Kirigiri's POV
I think I always knew from the start that I was dead.
I'm a detective. I know suspicious behavior and contradictory evidence when I see it. That's why I am still confused as to why I still played along. To a certain extent, I stand by what I said. I do not believe in ghosts nor in any other paranormal activity. That's right. I was foolish to think that perhaps I was more than that.
The contradictory one was me.
The evidence clearly suggested that it was my corpse under that jacket and not Makoto's and yet some part of me wanted to believe it was otherwise. It's frightening when I think about it that I would rather have him die instead of me. The aftertaste of the thought is guilt-ridden and sickening. And as for Makoto? He played along. He was acting for my sake. All the while, I was always under his constant care and consideration.
And then there's me with such selfish thoughts.
Even though I'm already dead, seeing him like this…
I wanted him to die as well.
Dying or should I say being dead changed me. I've become a person filled with such horrible thoughts.
Even though I'm the one who died, I feel as though he was the one leaving me behind. I knew that one day, one of us would die before the other, I just never thought that it would be me. No, that's not entirely true. I always considered the possibility of me dying first.
I just never thought that I'd still be around after.
It would have been easier if I just disappeared but I guess that's not the way the afterlife works.
It's bad enough that I'm dead but now I have to watch others live.
This is cruel. I am cruel. Did I always have such a distasteful mind?
This kind of attitude is no good. I might just do something uncharacteristic of me, something just as objectionable. If I knew that I would have died so easily, so emptily, then maybe…
Maybe what?
Hey, let me live even if only just for a little while.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Makoto's POV
I think I was somewhere else before this.
It felt strange being in my work station. Even as I mindlessly typed a report, it felt like something was amiss. Every so often, I paused to think about it but something would always happen to stop that. Papers from the neighboring station would fly into my face, I would accidentally topple my pen case and spill its contents, the screen would just suddenly die on me; it went on like that. And the work just kept piling up. That's why I decided that after I'm done with this, I'll take a break and go on a breather. I checked the time and made a personal deadline for myself.
If only I looked closely, I would've noticed that the hands were going counterclockwise.
But I didn't even have the time to do that.
I rounded one corner, "There you are Makoto. I finally found you." A familiar face suddenly popped into view. It was just so unexpected that I lost my hold on the folders I was carrying.
"Kyoko! Ah, that surprised me you know."
"Is that so? I apologize." She started helping me pick up the folders. "It's just that it took me a while to find you."
"What are you talking about? I've been here all day." I said incredulously.
Wasn't I?
My mind went blank when I tried to recall.
Her gaze was scrutinizing, if not calculating. Was it something that I said?
"…That's right." She handed me the folders. "Work?"
"When was it not?" I joked.
"I see… hurry up and finish it quickly. I have something of importance to discuss with you."
Right. I've been in the office all this time doing clerical work. I don't even understand why I doubted that in the first place. The fatigue must be getting to me since I don't remember the last time I slept.
I shook my head to shake off the drowsiness. "I got it. Geez, you sure like pressuring people."
"Not really. I'm just awfully fond of you." She smirked.
That totally caught me off-guard.
"I c-can't concentrate when you s-say something like that!" I stammered my reply.
She chimed. "I'm just exercising my rights as your girlfriend."
"Really? Now?" My face must be red by now. To bring that up all of a sudden was sly of her.
Afterwards, I went back to my work station and continued on where I last left. There's just one thing that's been bothering me though.
"So… why are you still here?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm on my break." She said so nonchalantly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"I thought you said you were going to wait for me to finish?"
She nodded. "I did. I'll watch over here until then."
I sighed in exhaustion. "If you do that, I'll obviously get conscious. You know how fast I am like that, right?"
"I can wait." She paused. "I've got time."
Even though we've been dating for a while, there were times when I just didn't understand her. There's something different about Kyoko today too. I couldn't quite place what it was. I stared at her for quite some time and had it been anyone else, they would have freaked out. But nothing seemed out of place. Kyoko looked the same as ever. At least, that's what I thought until I took a closer look at her clothes.
"Huh? Where have you been? You're all dusty."
~xoxo~xoxo~~
"Dusty. This place is just too dusty. Don't you ever clean?"
"We were both at a week-long assignment. Of course, it hasn't been maintained since then."
And it was true. We just got back and unless someone broke in the apartment, then this place has been untouched. That didn't change the fact that it was irritating for her. Maybe tomorrow, I'll clean but for now, none of that.
"That's the poorest excuse I've ever heard." She said in disapproval.
"It's not an excuse. It's a fact." I retorted. We weren't getting anywhere with this argument.
"Anyways, you go on ahead and unpack first. I'll prepare the after midnight dinner."
"Much appreciated." And with that, she headed to our room.
"Ah, and also, what do you want to eat?" I shouted from the kitchen.
"Eggs on toast will do!"
"Two orders coming right up!"
We're dating but living together just made it more official.
"It's plain."
"Well, sorry for not being a gourmet chef." I frowned.
"It tastes just like how I remember it." She kept eating anyways. "Just the fact that it's plain makes it delicious."
"You're being weird again. Suddenly praising me over nothing." Was she always this sentimental?
"No, that's not quite right. I never give out praise, only facts." I was almost convinced by her monotonous voice but then I remembered that that's just how he usually speaks.
"There you go again. I swear you're doing this on purpose." She's way better than me at charming people.
"Well, I never act without a purpose."
"Now you're just messing with me. Those are two different things."
I missed talking to her like this.
Huh? Missed? Haven't we always been like this?
As if sensing my distraught, she called me back to my senses. "You can go take your bath. I'll handle the dishes."
I blinked a few times before trying hard to cover up whatever it was that came over me. "R-Really? Thanks! A long bath after a week's worth of hard work… It's just what I need!" Before I shut the door behind me, I shouted to her. "Oh, go on ahead and sleep right after, if you want to!"
"I don't need to be told."
"Okay. Well, I'll be back!"
Of course, she had other plans.
"Did you plan on making me wait all night?" Her glare was piercing even in the dark.
"You're still up? I thought I told you to go first."
"If I wanted to." She corrected.
"Of course, I shouldn't have said that." I mentally hit myself for making such an obvious mistake. But there's nothing I can do now. I sighed and slipped into the bed, beside her. "Sorry for making you wait."
"I don't mind waiting." She spoke softly. "Compared to this, there'll be a time when I'll be waiting much longer."
"I won't make you wait that long." I wrapped my arms around her and she buried her face in the crook of my neck.
"But you will." There was something in the tone of her voice that made my heart cringe.
Why did she sound so lonely?Why did she feel so alone?
I held her so tight, I was afraid that if I loosen my embrace even if only by the slightest, she'd disappear.
The thought of her disappearing made my heart sink.
"But no matter how long that is, I'll be sure to come back for you." Deeper and deeper, my heart sunk, as if something was swallowing it whole. I could not understand where this feeling was coming from. Everything was fine between us, right? "You're not the only who'll be lonely while waiting."
She pulled back, and I was hesitant at first to let her.
"If that's the case then I'd rather you take your time getting back to me." She stared at me with such seriousness, I couldn't possibly look away.
"No way. I want to be by your side as soon as possible." I almost pleaded.
"There's no need to rush." All of a sudden, her face was the softest I have ever seen. It was mesmerizing and yet at the same time, haunting with just the slightest hint of suppressed sadness. My heart was sinking to depths I never knew. "This way, we'll have a lot of things to talk about."
"And much more catching up to do." I added which was something we were supposed to be doing right now.
Our foreheads were touching by then and so were our noses. It wouldn't take that much effort for me to kiss her right now. That's right. It felt like I haven't kissed her in such a long time. How long has it been? We were so caught up with work to think about these kinds of things anymore. But right now, we had all the time in the world.
Time was on our side.
I leaned in closer.
But something caught my attention and I stopped before our lips could even touch.
"What's wrong?" Her eyes were now filled with concern.
"It's nothing." I tried to brush it off. Maybe I was just imagining things.
"It doesn't seem like nothing. You were bothered by something." She urged me on.
I knew I couldn't lie to her.
"It's just that… Don't get mad. For a second there, you smelled like explosives."
~xoxo~xoxo~~
"Explosive. That's the theme for the essay which you would have known had you not slept through class again."
"Thank you! You're such a lifesaver, Kyoko!"
At the end of the day, I could always count on Kyoko to help me out.
I can't remember what happened in class, probably because I was asleep. I just woke up to Kyoko scolding me again. She says all these things but she still helps me out in the end. I guess I can't really complain when I'm the one on the receiving end. With my fortune or rather, misfortune, I lucked out the moment Kyoko and I became friends.
"Don't expect me to do you a favor again anytime soon. I only helped you this time so that you'd owe me." She handed me her notes although it was more she like shoved them at me.
"I'll pay you back one day, I promise!" I said with just as much sincerity as I felt.
"How about today?" There was a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"That's too soon!" And suspicious. I didn't want to take the risk.
"Hm? I think there was another assignment given to us earlier." The smirk could be heard in her voice. "I wonder what that is though."
I panicked. "Wait, so it wasn't just the essay for English?!"
"Who knows?" She hummed.
This was obviously a flag. And she knew very well that I had no choice but to take it. Cunning as ever.
"Ngh… fine!" I fell into her trap and raised my hands in defeat. "I got it. So what will it be today?"
"Really? But I'm fine if it was on any other day. I mean, I don't want to impose." She said smugly.
I sighed. Way to rub it in, Kyoko. "Don't make this any harder on me. Just tell me what you want."
"If you say so." She grinned. "There's this book I've been eyeing on that I'm sure you'll agree with me."
"At the rate of your extortion, I think I'll agree with just about anything with you."
"It's good to know that you understand."
The bell rung and everyone started going back to their proper seats and that included Kyoko who sat right beside me.
Were we always seated this close?
My eyes wandered to outside. There were dark clouds looming in. Classes resumed and it was overall, a dull day. It's no wonder I slept through the first half.
And just as soon as it started, it was already over. Now it was just me and Kyoko on our way to the bookstore.
"What's that book about anyways?"
"Nothing in particular."
"You're telling me that I'm gonna be spending on a book you don't even want in the first place?" That sounded like a total waste on a favor.
"But I do want the book. Partially." She said so nonchalantly.
She could be mysterious but I think she's leaning toward confusing today. "Partially? So which part about it do you like?"
"The part where I get to spend more time with you."
The lull in the conversation lasted for a couple of seconds.
"Haha! You're full of jokes today." I laughed and I patted her shoulder. "If you wanted to hang out, just say so. I'd be sticking with you after school anyways."
"I was afraid you had club." Again, with her unreadable face.
I paused. "Wait. You were serious?"
She blinked. "When am I not?"
Oh, so she was serious.
There was this blanket of silence between us and I was mostly to blame for that. This is Kyoko we're talking about so maybe there's a logical explanation behind all of this since she won't be doing anything against the laws of logic. Deep breaths. It took me a while before I gathered enough courage to ask the next question even though it was wrecking my nerves.
I swallowed my pride. "Okay, so is there a special reason why you wanted to make sure that we hang out today?"
"It's just that…" She paused. "It feels like if I take my eyes off you for a second, you'd disappear."
"What are you talking about? You're the one who'd–"
Huh? Who'd what exactly?
I felt like I was forgetting something or more like remembering instead.
I don't want you to disappear.
"Are you okay?"
Huh? …Did I just zone out?
"Yeah, just a bit of a headache. Must be because I slept too much earlier." I nervously answered.
She held my gaze for a while until she finally replied. "Try not to oversleep next time."
Or else, you might not wake up.
That's what her face said.
"I'll keep that in mind. After all, I have two favors to repay. I can't have anything bad happen until then."
"Kindly keep your word."
Was it just me or did it get dark all of a sudden?
Then it poured.
"We're gonna get soaked! Run!" I yelled while I grabbed her hand and took off to the nearest shed.
It was a futile attempt though, we were already soaked to the bones.
"That surprised me. It just suddenly rained. And the weather forecast said it would be sunny!" I said in between breaths.
She wrung her hair. "Guess they have their share of bad days too."
"I bet. But man, we're gonna be stuck here for a while too. It's raining hard." I took off my blazer and wrung it as well. "Sorry, I don't have an umbrella on me. I'm actually the last guy you'd want to get stranded with. Ah, sorry. I'm so unreliable when I need to be."
But all my words were lost to her. She was so far away, lost in her own world.
What was it about rain that changed people? It wasn't like her to be this still, it was unnerving. It frightened me. I didn't quite understand why this was terrifying me so much but it did. It was almost like a premonition.
"Hey, why did you suddenly go quiet? Is something wrong?" I asked. She was worrying me.
I felt her grip on my hand tighten and then finally, she looked at me and said,
"I love you, Makoto."
Hearing that made me happy.
However…
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
"You've got that wrong, Kyoko." I said solemnly. "I don't remember a high school memory of either of us confessing."
"Of course not." Her smile was that of a melancholic one. "That's because this isn't a memory."
Then suddenly, I was no longer talking to the Kyoko of my high school days, not to the Kyoko who kept me company at home, not to the Kyoko who made the workplace my second home and certainly not to the Kyoko before her unexpected passing.
This Kyoko was dead.
And then I remembered how I was dying as well.
The sound of several droplets echoed. We were back in the building. I was now wearing my tattered clothes. It had every detail down to the very last scorch mark. Even my wound was pouring out blood. Across me was her, who now wore my hoodie just like her corpse did.
This was how it should be.
"You're starting to remember now. That's good." She looked so relieved but I could not share the feeling. "Had it been any second later, you would have been lost."
Lost? That wasn't quite what I wanted.
"Would I die then?" I asked deadpanned.
She stared back at me, unflinching. "…Didn't you hear me? I said lost."
"I don't understand. What do you mean by lost?" I didn't even bother masking my frustration.
"Exactly what it means." Her gaze hardened. "Gone forever."
"Just like you?" I flinched at my own words. I didn't mean to sound so pleading, so desperate, so…
Hopeful.
"No, I'm not lost." She folded her arms across her chest. "I'm just dead."
I wished that she had also said just like you.
I sighed dejectedly. "You didn't have to say it like that."
"Like what? Like how it really is?" She snapped at me.
"But the way you said it was…"
"You know how I am. I only entertain facts."
Were we fighting? I knew that she was just as upset over this as I was. Well, upset was putting it lightly. We were devastated. But for some reason, we were arguing. I don't know how often it is that you get a chance to talk with dead people but I don't want to waste this one. If this was our last conversation then I don't want it to end with us not understanding each other. I just could not understand how she could still act so detached over this.
Until I finally realized it.
"That's right. That's the Kyoko I know." I took a deep breath and prepared myself. "That's why… shouldn't you start telling the truth too?"
Her eyes widened. "Just what are you implying?"
"I love Kyoko because even when I show weakness, she accepts me." My vision was getting blurry but I kept talking.
"I want to be able to do the same for you too. You don't have to be strong in front me." Even when I started choking on my words, I still kept talking.
"I'm scared too. And sad, and angry, and frustrated, and all these other feelings but I'm sure that what you're feeling right now is much worse than mine." I needed to tell her this while my voice was able to reach her. "That's why… why…" Please, let my voice reach her.
And then, as if a dam broke, she finally cried.
I know I'm not supposed to be happy about it but I was. Seeing her cry made me feel at peace because she was finally allowing herself this. She needed this. An outlet. She's been holding it in all this time and I didn't want that. I'm sure we'll separate eventually and I don't want her to grieve alone. In a sense, I'm kind of lucky to be here for her during death to make the mourning process just a little less lonely. It's painful to cry but the more you cry, the lighter you'll feel after. I knew that from experience.
Her grip on me reminded me how she could also be strong. "I also love Makoto because even though you cry a lot, most of them are for me."
From there, we held onto each other tightly. And when I realized that wherever this place was, I could actually touch her, I just squeezed harder as I cried harder. If physical pain existed here, I'm sure my hands were grasping on her arms so hard that they would have left marks. But that didn't matter to me right now. I could literally feel her with my skin. There was weight beneath the body I was holding and it felt wonderful.
Even when she was dead while I was alive, in this space, we both existed.
"That's why you should be more honest with yourself, Kyoko." I smiled through the tears.
She sniffled, her sobs were gentler now. "I will but only on the condition that you'll live an honest and full life."
I buried my face in her hair. Then sighed longingly. "I'm already here. Why would I go back?"
Her head shook. "Makoto, I won't hate you for leading a happy life without me." She pulled back, forcing me to look at her. "If there's anyone that should be resented, it would be me. For dying early on you." Her voice was stern but also apologetic.
She should not apologize for something she had no control over.
I obstinately shook my head in disagreement. "But I don't hate you at all! It wasn't your fault!"
"That's your opinion. On the contrary…" She reverted back to her monotonous tone. "I hate myself very much."
Hearing her say that was heartbreaking. I knew that I could not change her opinion. She was just the type of person who would not be so easily swayed once she has her mind fixed on something. But I had to try. As long as it was not a fact, then I could still convince her even if the only way I knew how was just by being honest and speaking my mind.
If you say you hate yourself then…
"Me too." I said without hesitation. "I hate myself too." I furiously blinked back the tears. Not yet. Not right now. I needed to say this without my voice breaking, with full conviction. "When wherever we are is over, I'll be the one who's leaving you. And no matter how much it kills me, it just won't."
No matter how much I want it to kill me. It won't.
"Then the both of us are hated." Her voice didn't carry the same dejectedness as it did earlier. Moreover, I think I heard the faintest hints of amusement.
"Yeah but we still love each other." I smiled at her. "That has to count for something, right?"
"Something is quite the word to describe it." Her tone was light and it might as well have been laughter to my ears.
I just smiled wider. "It's still better than nothing."
As expected of Kyoko. She just won't let me have my depressed moment. But at least that got her out of hers. Maybe we should have talked more about it or maybe this was just one of those things that needed no words. Just like how there are things best left unsaid. So another lull of silence came in between us but there was no tension. We were comfortable with just each other's company. At least, to a certain extent that is. I wanted more from Kyoko. I wanted to talk to her as much as I could. I thought over what to say next but she beat me to it.
"Looks like I'm almost done on my end." She said, disappointment laced throughout the words.
"Done with what?" I'm pretty sure I looked just as confused as I felt.
"It doesn't matter. You'll find out soon anyways." That sounded more cryptic than usual.
"You're gonna take secrets to the grave even now?" I joked halfheartedly.
Well shit.
"I didn't mean that! I mean, I did! But! I didn't mean it that way! Why did I say that?" If only it was possible to die of embarrassment. But then again, what would she think if I lost my life out of embarrassment? Ah, who cares! I needed to apologize fast. "I'm so sorry. My habits never did have a good sense of timing. I'm really sorry. Please forget about what I just said."
"Don't worry. It actually had the opposite effect. Hehe." She looked so composed that I almost thought I imagined her laugh. But I didn't just imagine it. She did laugh. She tried to hide a giggle but since I was still holding her, I felt it.
It feels like it's been so long since she last laughed.
My face broke into a grin. "You laughed!"
"Oh, did I?" She teased.
"Yeah, you did! And you're still smiling right now!"
"Must you narrate everything?"
I was just about to retort on that but then she composed herself and spoke first.
"It won't be long now. Any final requests?"
So this is it, huh? Of course, if I could request anything, I would have wanted her alive. But that's not how it works. There's still so much more I wanted that I was just beginning to realize how I could be so selfish. Actually, just thinking about my request when I should have been asking her what hers was, is proof that I've become selfish. She asked for mine first. She really does spoil me even until the end. That's why I needed to make this count. I don't think I'll see her when we get out of this place. So if that's how it is then I only have one last request.
Stay here with me.
"Hmm… then let's hold hands!" I raised both of mine as an invite.
She must have been surprised because her reply was just a bit delayed. "That's all? Are you sure you'll be content with just that?"
"Yeah." Once she realized that I was serious, she also raised both of her hands in front of mine. And then we laced them together. A perfect fit. I smiled brighter. "Now, I'm good."
She didn't look quite as content as I was about the request. If anything, she was probably confused at how minor it was. "You know you could've asked for a kiss or even more…"
"But I like holding your hand the best!" I knew how she paid special attention to her hands and that for her, it was just as intimate as kissing. Well, I also had another motive for this. "This way I can memorize the feeling and I can still look at you."
"I see." I could see in her eyes that she was overanalyzing this as usual but at least this time she seemed satisfied enough with my explanation. "It seems that you put a lot of thought into this."
"I did. I mean, after all, I won't get to see you for a long while after this."
"True enough."
We stayed like that for a while and I was beginning to think that we'd stay like that until this ends. However, Kyoko had other plans.
"Well, if it's only like this then may I have a request of my own?" She asked bashfully and maybe even hesitantly. She must have felt self-conscious about it.
"Sure thing! That goes without saying." I smiled warmly, trying to soothe her into speaking up. "Don't hold back!"
"Then…" Was she blushing? "That confession earlier, could we redo it?"
Okay, so maybe I was blushing too.
"Ah, yeah. I mean, sure." I barely managed making those words sound like a sentence. It surprised me to hear that from her. That's not fair, Kyoko. If you say it like that then I'll be just a bit more conscious too. Get it together. We're dating so I shouldn't get so embarrassed about this. You've already done this before, Makoto, you can do it again. I swallowed my nervousness. "Let's do it."
"On second thought, maybe we shouldn't."
Huh? "Wait. Why?"
She playfully smirked. "Your face just now is reward enough."
"That's just plain mean." And teasing. I almost tried to hide my face with my hands but then I remembered I couldn't do that. I could only avoid eye contact. I'm probably twice as flustered as I was before.
I know she said she changed her mind on the request but I could tell that she was only half joking. Or maybe she really meant it and I'm just reading into this too much. But I've already made up my mind earlier so I'll do it anyway. I took a deep breath and our eyes met.
"I love you, Makoto."
"I love you, Kyoko."
We said it at the same time. My mind was still processing what just happened when I just started laughing. That was not the direction I expected this confession would go to. But when I thought that Kyoko and I were thinking the same thing and even ended up saying the same words at almost the same time, as if we were somehow connected, the idea of that filled me with so much warmth and happiness that I guess it just spilled over into laughter for me. And for her.
She joined me soon after and unlike before, she wasn't holding back anymore. Her body shuddered from pleasant laughter. She was practically vibrating with happiness. We leaned on each other's foreheads for balance and I had no doubt that we would have almost toppled over from all the fun. Her face was relaxed, carefree, and in my eyes, she was truly a sight to behold. She looked so beautiful, so absolutely stunning, so alive.
In this moment, I knew for a fact that she looked more alive than ever.
I should have stopped there. Seeing her this blissful should have been enough for me. But can you blame me for being spoiled one last time? I could never get enough of her. I still wanted more.
"Maybe I want that kiss after all."
I never heard her say her agreement after that, probably because her lips were already on mine.
I don't remember either of us pulling back.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
When I came to my senses, I was already safe.
I woke up to a room without threat or danger. The armed people that were chasing me were missing and the sense of looming death hardly existed at all. In fact, I woke up to a different room entirely. They told me that I managed to escape all that and contacted headquarters again for a pickup point, all the while sporting a near fatal wound and other injuries.
They told me I was lucky.
That it was a miracle that I was even alive. I tried asking them what else I did because I admitted that my memories were hazy. They told me that was probably because of the blood loss and that I've been asleep for a day now. But they never told me anything other than advice for recovery. I would have asked for more but I didn't know where to begin.
What happened? And why was it just me in this room? Where was… where was my partner?
A large chunk of my memories were missing and I had a bad feeling that it wasn't just from the near death experience. Wasn't there supposed to be someone else? Wasn't I with someone else?
The more I tried to dig deeper, the heavier my heart sunk. My throat was extremely dry for different reasons. An overwhelming mass of something was building up between my throat and my chest. Something's wrong. The ECG just proved to me that I wasn't just imagining my heart beating faster. Something's not just wrong but missing. Missing? Is someone missing?
Before I could finish that thought, I heard a beep. When I turned to my side, I saw my phone on top of a desk. The doctor said that they placed it there since I didn't have any visitors yet to actually keep it for me. They said that it's rung a few times today and allowed me to check it out. And they were right. I've had a few unread messages, with the last one from my sister. I must have worried a lot of people.
As I was scrolling through each text, I noticed one that was odd. I received it yesterday.
And it was from me.
This must be it. The missing piece in my memories. My heart was picking up speed again. I knew I wanted answers but I just didn't expect them to come so easily and so soon. But this was the breakthrough I needed and I was sure that I wouldn't be getting it from asking the doctor. My hand clutched my phone tighter in anticipation. I just needed to find the courage to open it. And so I finally read the message.
Take care. Until we meet again. - K
And all at once, everything came flooding back to me. I broke down. There was all too much and at the same time, not enough, pieces coming back to me. And I just sobbed harder with every flashback. It wasn't just yesterday's memories, it was every memory of her all coming together as if to create a memoir of her piece by piece. And each piece hurt as it sinks in that there will never be new pieces to be added because she's not here anymore. I'm here but she's not. It hit me harder when I realized that I'm alive right now because of her.
Even in death, I'm still being rescued by her.
I'm alive.
And she was gone.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
There are five stages of grief and it took me a while but I think I finally hit the last.
"It's been a while, hasn't it?"
A year went by faster than I would have thought even though the first few weeks were excruciatingly slow. And since it's already been a year since then, I'm visiting her grave right now. It's weird trying to talk to the same person but instead of seeing a face, you're looking at a cold slate. When I first started having these conversations, I was desperately grasping for replies. I guess I was hoping that I could somehow will an actual answer from it. But I don't do that anymore. I've accepted that I'll have to live with one-sided conversations.
"So my sister made another new friend and let me tell you, they get crazier each time."
It's become therapeutic. Sometimes I wonder if I was talking to her for the sake of it or just for my sake. But one thing I knew for sure was that I enjoyed these talks. It's easy talking to her. I would tell her everything. From every important event even down to the small trivial incidents like how the other week, I changed shampoo brands. Okay, maybe I should skip the smaller ones but I remembered how she was back when she was alive. She was always so attentive to even the tiniest of details that not a single thing went past her and I would do her justice by doing just the same. At least, I hope the sentiment got through or else I'd have been the most boring conversationalist ever.
"I know I say this a lot. Back then and even until now but I honestly do mean it every time. I probably sound like a broken record by now but I'm grateful to you. Thank you." I don't know if any of my words even reach her but I hope they do. "I probably wouldn't be enjoying life right now if you hadn't pushed me to back then."
I don't cry as often as I used to anymore.
"I'm living life twice to the fullest! Get it? 'Cause I'm trying to do your share too."
Life without her around wasn't so bad. It wasn't as great but I think she'd scold me if I ever said that out loud. Ah, I'm missing her again. It doesn't happen as often as before but I still get these moments. It gets lonely sometimes.
"Are you lonely out there without me?"
She's been gone for so long now.
"Hey, can't I get to see you again? Just one peek, please?" I joked at the air. I knew it was impossible so I wasn't expecting to gain anything from it but… a flash of purple caught my gaze.
I saw her. She looked exactly same as she did on that day. Even in her dull battered uniform, she was still radiant. She was just as I remembered her but not quite. Maybe I was seeing her through nostalgia tinted lenses or maybe she now had an ethereal glow. Regardless of the reason, she was in fact, absolutely beautiful. Partly from the shock and partly from her beauty, she took my breath away. And then, our eyes locked in an instant.
For a moment, she was standing there, right in front of me.
And in the next, she was gone.
"Not yet, huh?" I wonder what kind of face I was making at this moment. Was I disappointed? Relieved? Or maybe... was I lonely?
Before I could even blink, she was already gone.
I would have told myself I imagined it but then again, that would also mean that I have to tell myself that I imagined dreaming of her one year ago. I think that was the last thing I would ever do. Whether or not I saw who I think I saw, I guess I'll just believe in what I want to believe in.
And I want to believe in her.
"That's fine by me. After all, you did say that there was no need to rush." I chuckled lightheartedly. Ah, I really did feel better after talking to her. "I guess I should be going now. It was really nice talking to you again."
I gave one last long look at her grave and then I turned my head to where her phantom supposedly stood had I not imagined it earlier. She's still here. Ghost or not, she's still here. As long as I remember her, then she's alive in heart. And even though I can't see her right now, I know that I'll see her again. Eventually.
"Wait for me. I'll see you soon." I smiled and hoped that wherever she was, she was smiling too.
We move on but we never truly forget and in doing so, the dead live on in spirit.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Shinra-ex-SOLDIER
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Omake: OF CORPSE I AM
Naegi: I'm sorry for not telling you sooner that you were already dead.
Kirigiri: You've been lying to me all along.
Naegi: I wasn't lying. The truth is that I'm not alive either!
Kirigiri: Then how do you explain the bleeding?
Naegi: I'm actually a… WALKING CORPSE!
Kirigiri: …
Naegi: …
Kirigiri: I think you meant living corpse. Changing the word won't change its meaning. Corpse or not, you're still alive.
Naegi: You're not making any sense. For you see, I ammost definitely dead!
Kirigiri: …
Naegi: …augh!
Kirigiri: You should really take care of that wound first.
Naegi: It's okay, I'm a corpse. I don't feel a thing.
Kirigiri: You don't need to go that far to pretend. I already know what's going on.
Naegi: The dead don't feel. I'm telling you that aaaugh–…
Kirigiri: Ah. He collapsed from blood loss.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
EPILOGUE Preview:
"It's alright. I won't be lonely since I'll be playing with my friend."
"Is this the new friend you've been telling me? When do I get to meet her?"
"Weirdo. She's right there."
"Huh?"
"She's always been beside you."
And sometimes, the dead don't move on so easily unlike the living.
~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~~xoxo~xoxo~
Oh, you're still here? Wow. I can't believe you read through 11k words. THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT THIS FAR.
It's been 2 years but let me make it up to you all with this chapter that now makes ¼ of the total words of this series.
The EPILOGUE is in the works so if you liked this one then look forward to that.
Hey, I also started She Breathes. It's a Mukuro Ikusaba centric fic and it'll be mostly naekusaba.
If you read Dangan ronpa IF then you understand why I love her. So check it out and drop by requests when you can.
TELL ME WHAT DO I DO NEXT. I'll be honest and admit that my drabble list for this series got lost in my old laptop. So I'm open to suggestions. As much as possible, I too, also want the next chapter to be a happy lighthearted one (let's just hope that my writing hands won't kill them like they always do)
So yeah, if you're one of the survivors of my old readers or someone new, thanks for dropping by and tell me if (you're alive) the comeback was worth it. See you soon!