CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Let me get one thing straight. Yes, in some creepy way it was Edward's intension for Jacob to step in after his…departure from this world. However that never happened. Jacob eventually, thanks to me, went on to meet his wife and after Edward's passing, I had so many family and friends around to keep me going, it's what he would have wanted.
I don't believe that after we were married Edward was ever afraid that I would cheat on him. Don't get me wrong he was plenty jealous anytime a man had to get close to me that he didn't trust, for example my latest escapades in the music video.
Edward knew my heart was his and I would love him more than I could love any other person. Unfortunately there were times when I was stupid and jealousy would take over my mind and make me think horrible thoughts and there were times I was worried that he would cheat on me. It's true he had more faith in me then I had in him.
Edward trusted me but that didn't mean he wasn't a jealous person and unfortunately I knew that he hated that I would seek out the company of others when seeking council.
"What's going on?"
I could tell that he wasn't making this into one of those Spanish soap operas, thinking that he caught me in the wine cellar with my lover. He had concern in his eyes and I'm sure that was from the splotches all over my face as well as the crazy makeshift bed I had created in the middle of our wine cellar. I could tell he was more worried than anything.
"Nothing." I replied softly letting Jacob go. "Just…needed a minute."
Jacob could sense the room filling with tension so he looked for an exit strategy.
"She..just needed a minute but I…well I think my work here is done and I promised Gracie to put my acting talents to good use and read her to sleep tonight."
Jacob was the favorite when it came to telling bed time stories. Being an overgrown kid himself, he did all the voices and faces to go along. I could record it and that alone would have women throwing themselves at him if he wasn't already such a big movie star.
And then there were two.
"So what is all this?" Edward walked down the couple of stairs to meet me as I started to scramble my way out of the pillows and blankets.
"Just wanted a place to go. Jacob had been bugging the crap out of me all week and I was trying to hide." I explained. "Lot of good it did me."
"I can't keep doing this, Bella. I can't keep sitting on the sidelines waiting for you to tell me what's going on. I gave you time and space and you still haven't come to me. It always seems like you can talk to anyone but me. Why is that?"
"I wasn't talking to anyone. Jacob…he just kept pushing and pushing. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be left alone while I work something out."
"Why can't you just tell me? Do I have to pester and bug you like Jacob to get you to communicate with me?" he argued.
"No…I…I just need time." I huffed. "Just please give me space."
I walked past him and up the couple of steps to get out of my once sanctuary. At this rate, I wouldn't have a place left in this massive house to turn to.
"I gave you space and I gave you time. I'm done, Bella. I want answers." Edward demanded as he followed me through the house. I just kept pushing on trying to ignore him. I could feel walls pushing in on me the louder he became. I started to head for the front door hoping that I could find some peace out of the confines of this house but at the last moment Edward pulled me back by the wrist.
"Talk to me, dammit." He shouted.
"Let go of me." I squirmed trying to get out of his hold but I guess he had enough. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder as he carried me toward our bedroom.
"Edward, stop it." I cried. "Let me down."
He eventually did let me down, tossing me to the bed.
"You have lost your mind." I started.
"Maybe I have. Maybe it's because my wife refuses to tell me what is going on. Do you have any idea what has been going through my mind the last week?" he spit.
I started to push myself up from the bed.
"Bella, you are not getting up from that bed until you agree to talk to me."
I made an exaggerated motion of putting my foot on the ground. Childish, yes but he had lost his mind.
"So help me…" He threatened.
I flopped back down on the bed and let off an exaggerated groan.
"Does this have to do with our marriage? Are you unhappy?" he started after a couple of moments.
I didn't answer.
"Well?" he growled.
"I'm not very happy right now." I stated.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asked.
"Besides holding me here against my will?" I raised an eyebrow.
He did not look amused. He let a couple more moments pass before he sat down near me.
He took a deep breath before he spoke again. "Did…you change your mind…do you not want to have a baby anymore?"
I didn't answer. Instead I held my breath waiting for him to continue on with his guesses.
"It…would be okay if…you didn't want to anymore. I would understand. Don't get me wrong, I want nothing more in this life than to have that experience with you but…I could wait…I would wait, if that's what you want."
I could hear his voice breaking and I was trying to keep myself held together.
"I love you, Bella. We don't need to have children to be happy. I love you and I will always love you even if you…never…"
"I want to have children, Edward." I replied rather loudly.
"Maybe you're not ready…"
I jumped up from the bed ready to tear my hair out; I finally lashed out unable to take anymore. "I am ready, Edward but please for the love of god just shut up about babies."
I walked over towards the balcony and looked down at the peaceful water below but that couldn't calm me. I could feel my skin heat up and angry tears fall.
"I…I can't talk to you…I…it is killing me." I gritted.
"Yes, you can. You will…because I am seriously freaked the fuck out right now. You are holding everything in and you…like this…isn't healthy."
He pushed his way in front of me unable to leave me be.
"Talk to me, Bella."
I focused directly into his eyes as something burned my whole body.
"You want to know? You want to know what's going on in my mind. Sometimes I don't want to share because I know that if I do it may just make me even crazier then I'm already going."
I make a beeline for my end table and wrestle around in the drawer and pull out the bag that I had been keeping all my negative tests in. I was afraid to throw them away because I knew how easily they could be obtained by the people from the press looking to make an exclusive. Nothing was safe.
"Here. Take them. All of them." I dump the bag out and the tests fly down onto our comforter. "All negative. I am doing everything I can but it's my stupid body that is keeping you from this baby."
Just seeing them all sitting there practically laughing at me and nonfunctioning body was enough to drive me momentarily insane. I backed up into the wall and slide my way down it feeling marginally better when the tests were out of sight.
"Bella…"
I wouldn't look at his face. I couldn't bear it. I just kept my head down and focused on my breathing. Looking back it wasn't my proudest moment. I knew I had overreacted but it's easier to see that now when I could see the results of those long months of stress and negative test after negative test.
Edward crouched down to talk to me. I could feel his hands on mine, "Baby, it hasn't been that long. Why are you so stressed out about this?"
"It's been well over a month…you wanted a honeymoon baby…I didn't get you a wedding present after all."
He sat down next to me on my wall and forcefully pulled me to him. I say forcefully because I didn't feel like I had earned his compassion.
"A honeymoon baby would have been amazing…your gift to me was that we would try to I have to admit that trying has been quite fun for me. In fact I wouldn't mind if we had to try a couple more months."
I furrowed my brow and finally had the nerve to look at him, "You mean you don't want a baby right now?"
"I don't know…I think I am more of the mindset that when it happens it happens and I know I'll be happy but I'm not going to freak out if we have to wait a few more months. This whole experience of having a baby is the fun you have when you make the baby…well for me anyways. Besides once your pregnant I hear those first few months are nasty. You'll be throwing up all the time and your breasts are going to be sore. You'll be tired and well I highly doubt you'll let me touch you while all that is happening."
"Gee, when you put it like that…maybe we should adopt." I cringed.
"It's all worth it in the end, honey. I will be there holding your hair, giving you mouthwash and back massages…it will be perfect but it doesn't have to be this minute." He took a hold of my chin, "you need to relax. You are an amazing woman and let's just enjoy this period."
"But what if…it never happens?"
"Then we will make a plan B when the time comes. It's only been a month and a half. I know you are a perfectionist and very impatient and you want things done on your timeline but this is one of those things you can't control so relax already and just enjoy the ride. For now on I don't want you taking any more tests unless you have a missed period. I can't have them doing this to you. No more tests, Bella."
Edward pushed himself up, abandoning me on the floor but not for long as he held his hand out to help me up. He walked me over to the bed and started to lift my shirt up.
"Wha…what are you doing?" I asked stupidly.
"Shh…I'm helping my wife relax. I would give her a chill pill but I wouldn't want to over medicate her since she is rather high-strung."
"High strung?" I mumbled as he unzipped my pants and let them drop to the floor. He helped me out of my panties next and my bra after. I could already feel my body preparing for what was about to happen and let out an embarrassing breath.
He helped me up on the bed and I lay down on my back as I watched him undress himself slowly. I could feel my whole body heat up just like before when I was angry but different. When he was down to his boxers and nothing more he climbed onto the bed and helped me over onto my stomach.
He wants to do me from behind? Well, all right then. Ladies and gentleman start your baby making engines.
I pushed my butt up a little readying myself for the proper position but Edward's hand pushed me back down and then he began…
He wasn't going to make love to me. He was…massaging me. I was confused at first and a little happy my face was hidden from view. Maybe this was foreplay? He's done that before.
But no it wasn't and he massaged every single bone in my body practically until I fell asleep. With my worries somewhat relieved, I passed out good and hard. When I woke up the next morning I felt so amazing that I could have been in a Disney movie with suns shining and birds chirping.
"Have a good night sleep?" Edward asked.
"Yeah, it was. I feel rested." I smiled at him.
"You know you could have felt this kind of relief if you had just come to me with your problem sooner."
"I don't know if I would have listened to you sooner." I answered honestly.
"Bella, you can't just keep me out of the loop. I want to help you any way I can. I want you to be happy not a crazy stressful mess. Why can't you just trust me?"
I started shaking my head slowly thinking of what to say. "I guess I just worry how you will react and part of me thought that I was protecting you from something. I thought if I told you, you would be stressed out too and then that would add on to my stress and I felt ashamed and embarrassed and broken…I didn't think it would take this long. Hell, even Kathryn and Lucas got it done on their first shot." I replied.
"Who's Kathryn and Lucas?" Edward asked confused.
"From that book, Two Moons… the one you read to me on our honeymoon." I reminded.
"Babe, sometimes that happens…fictional characters and all." He rolled his eyes at my argument. "Different things for different people. Stop comparing us. We are not them and you should never feel embarrassed or ashamed. You're not broken and I am not as fragile as you think I am so in the future I would like to be included in your thought processes, understand?"
I nodded my head feeling reprimanded.
"Okay. Well we should get up and get going. You have a lot of work to do today. That video isn't going to edit itself." Edward jumped out of bed.
"I can edit the video after I get morning practice in. After all, you are a tease, massaging me all over last night and not massaging the best muscle on me."
"Your brain?" Edward smirked.
"No. I think we can all agree that no amount of stimulation can bring that back." I quipped.
Edward turned back to me and slowly climbed on the bed, "All right then. Practice does make perfect."
Sitting in an edit studio all day wasn't that bad after this morning's…pep talk. I found myself smiling for no reason and plowing through my task now that I didn't have a massive headache that I had been carrying around.
I locked myself into the editing bay so that no one and I do mean no one would bother me. My friends and family could all be counted on for their "accidental" disruptions. Once again I felt self-conscious watching myself in the video but I was so happy how the footage came out, it was easy to push past my silly thoughts.
At the end of day two I was ready for some feedback.
"If you have a minute...I would like to see what you think." I winced slightly worried about just what would Edward think.
"Sure baby." He got up from his desk and followed me to the edit bay that was next to my office. As soon as he was in, I shut the door behind us and locked it once more.
"Wow. What's with all the tight security?" Edward laughed.
"I didn't want anyone to see it. In fact I only want you to see it before it airs."
I had thought about it long and hard and decided that I didn't want anyone to see this video but then I thought of what Edward said and how I had hurt him with my trust issues and thought maybe in some small way I could make this special for us. I would share this.
Edward gave me a smile and squeezed my hand. I started the video up and took a deep breath. Once again Edward gave me a slight neck massage as we watched.
"So…" I asked anxiously.
"It's brilliant baby. You sure know how to go to war." He noted.
"Thanks…I guess?" I furrowed my brow wondering if that was a compliment.
"The only thing I wonder about is the timing at the end with the fan girls ripping posters down and then the head turns from the music artists. It seems too slow. You might want to try to speed that portion up just a bit so we can feel the franticness." He suggested.
We sat together in the editing bay working on the video together until it was finished. It took a lot less time than I would have thought but with Edward's help it really did make all the difference.
"Sooo…now we just release it." I sighed.
"Yeah…are you ready?" he asked one more time.
I nodded my head as my eyes stayed on the very last image of the disclaimer that I put at the end stating officially that I Can Take It words and music is now property of Isabella Swan and all uses of it would infringe on the rights held.
"Emma created the email to send out to all the major networks and news organizations…I'm sure with Perez Hilton he will be able to reach the largest audience the quickest." Edward stated.
"Okay…let's do this."
With one last determined thought, I opened up the email that was saved to my drive and uploaded the video. All the important press outlets were already on the email and now all I had to do was press send and potentially ruin a career with the press of a button.
Do I feel any remorse?
No.
It was a bitchy move but even now looking back it was well deserved.
Edward held my hand and we just sat in the silent editing room while we waited. It would be only a manner of minutes before the phone calls would start.
"So…pizza tonight?" Edward asked with a smile.
"Hmmm, I was thinking of…room service. Maybe somewhere no one can get ahold of us. Maybe somewhere while WMG and all of Hollywood can't reach us at least until morning?" I pondered.
"I'll make reservations." Edward jumped up.
The moment we opened the door we could hear the calls start coming in.
"The official word is no comment." I stated to the two assistants who looked marginally crazy from just the first few minutes. "In fact…unplug the phones."
"But I have Mr. Vladic on hold. I have Trisha Messer also on hold; no one seems to be very happy at the moment." Emma sounded distressed.
"Leave them on hold and both of you take the rest of the day off. My wife and I have a date." Edward replied.
I smiled even as the phone lines still rang and rang. "You heard the man."
My cell phone was completely blown up from texts and missed calls. I replied to one text; Embry's. I just told him that Edward and I would be going away for a night and we would be back tomorrow afternoon. I wanted to make sure the girls would be taken care of for the night.
With only a small bag of toiletries that we kept at the office, we checked in as discreetly as possible. I walked around the gorgeous suite while Edward made room service arrangements. I could hear him ordering a bottle of champagne in addition to a plethora of food.
I looked over at the big screen television and walked closer and closer to it. My hands fidgeted as I fought the temptation of turning it on just for a moment. All the entertainment news programs would be airing right now and I was just so curious.
"Don't." Edward's voice broke me out of my inward dilemma.
"I just…have to know." I pleaded.
"No. You turn on that television and it could ruin tonight. Don't you want tonight to be just you and me…no stress, no media, no nothing."
I looked back down at the remote still contemplating. I was never one for waiting. Edward walked up and pulled me his chest.
"Come on. I'll make it worth your while." His silky voice invading my head.
"How?" I answered breathless.
"First, I'm going to feed my baby and then we are going to sip champagne in that marvelous whirlpool over there." He nodded toward our bathroom where a rather large hot tub sat. "And then I'll make sure every single inch of you is given proper attention. By the time I'm done with you, you'll think you are in an age before television even existed."
I pulled back from him and narrowed my eyes letting off a laugh, "What?"
"Too far? Yeah, I kind of figured." Edward said popping straight out of the moment he created.
A knock on the door stopped me from making any more fun of Edward as he jogged off to get it. I took the moment to go and wash up before dinner. As I was just finishing I heard a rather loud commotion coming from the living room.
"You hit me and I'll sue you!"
"If you don't get the hell out of here…" Edward yelled.
I walked out into the living room to see Stefan and Edward in some weird sparing position.
"What the hell is going on here?" I yelled over them.
Stefan stood up straight and looked over to me with fire in his eyes.
"How did you find us?" I asked.
"Oh please. You really don't think a hotel guest or employee saw you two? You should look outside, the paparazzi has every inch of this place covered." Stefan huffed.
I walked over to the window and looked down toward the street. Sure enough it looked like a première or something down there.
"How could you do this, Bella?" Stefan started. "We have done everything we could to help your career? Do you realize what your little video means? We need the rights to that song."
"You should have thought of that before you mass-produced Tanya's greatest hits album. Don't you think you should have settled up with Levi sooner?"
"Oh hell, we had no idea that there was an issue with the rights. Tanya's manager didn't tell us shit. You have to sell us back those rights." He demanded loudly.
"Hey, you watch how you speak to my wife. You know exactly why we had to do this. Believe me if I had it my way, your little artist would be in jail for what she did." Edward roared.
Stefan was burning but he controlled his anger enough to not retaliate verbally.
"I'm not going to sell you the rights." I stated.
"Do you realize how much money we stand to lose because of you?"
"Yes. I do. I love Warner Bros. I love WMG but what Tanya did to me was possibly the most disgusting thing she could have. However it is because I love Warner Bros. and have respect for WMG that I will make sure that you are both compensated for your losses. Which I explained to Seth after…"
"I fired him." Stefan spit.
My head shot up so fast I was surprised my neck didn't break. "You did what?"
Stefan gave me a sinister smile. "He knew and helped. He deserved it."
Now it was my turn to boil. I walked over to him and when I was about an inch away I replied, "You better un-fire him or I promise that the money that Warner Bros. will have lost will be peanuts for what I will do to the company. After today's events, I think you'd find I am very capable. You have until checkout time tomorrow to reinstate Seth. Now leave us alone."
Stefan and I had been cool up until that point but he crossed a line and I was damn well sure that Seth would keep his job if it was the last thing I did in Hollywood. I would call on the powers of the Tria Fata if needs be.
Stefan tried to keep as much composure as possible. He straightened up and silently left our hotel room without another word.
Edward let out a huge breath, "Damn, you even had me scared."
"Ooo he just…makes my blood boil." I stomped my foot.
I could see Edward trying to keep the smile from forming.
"Hey, I saw that." I accused.
"What?" He looked completely guilty. He walked over to me and nuzzled his head on my neck, "Now where were we?"
Just then another knock.
"Finally the food is here. I'm starving." I pushed him off to get the door.
I opened the door but it wasn't room service.
"For the love of god! Doesn't anyone understand privacy?" I belted.
My boys, all five of them from Liberty Project were the next to grace our hotel room doorstep.
" . Dude, come on. At this rate, I'll never get laid." Edward was already protesting their arrival.
"Look, I know we shouldn't have come but we have a real issue on our hands. We need your help." Scott looked grave. I could tell that every single one of those boys had this weight on their shoulders. I opened the door and let them file in.
Edward helped lift the weight off my shoulders a couple of days ago but now it was my turn to lift the weight of my friend's shoulders and I truly was the only one who could help them.
AN: Sorry this took so long. It's tax season and my husband and I have loads of work to do and are looking at having to pay the government this year so sorry if updates are random. I wish all of you best of luck with your taxes! LOL! Thank you so much for reading this story and continuing your loyalty to it!