Thank you NYG and R-the-R. This chapter goes out especially for you two. Just one thing, Ragni, why did you skip English, :P? Rest all, just a lukewarm thanks for the lukewarm reception. You guys spoil me then pull the rug out. What's that about? Anyway, BJ is back though only in spirit right now. More on him in the next chapter which will be up soon.

Happy reading!

Chapter 79

Margaret returned after a while and all this time, I kept checking kid's temperature. I did not notice her when she entered post-op again but somebody must have informed her of my recent obsession with a thermometer. It was when I was startled by a hand on my shoulder that I turned to see who it was.

"How is he?"

"He is good. Great. I am thinking of enrolling him for Boston Marathon next year." I got up from the stool and moved towards the desk a short distance from him before continuing, "His temp is rising. Its slow and its there." I did not want to chance the possibility of Billy hearing me tell her about the rise in temperature.

Margaret's expressions changed from the early hopeful to those of worry. I was sure she was mirroring mine.

"What are you gonna do now?"

"I don't know, Margaret. I cannot go in again, not for another twenty four hours. And not without a chest film and an abdominal film and if he has shrapnel in both..." I couldn't say what that meant. Losing patients was always tough and I could do without imagining the worst possible scenarios even though right now, it was less imagination and more a matter of time. If only we could enter his chest or belly without having to open him up all over again. I had read about work being done with laparoscopy but it had limitations and in any case, there was no way for a laparoscope to look for a piece of shrapnel.

"What if he doesn't get an infection?" Leave it to Margaret to find a way to be an optimist. Same could've been said about me too, some would argue.

"After Frank's paws all over his gut? And those bullets aren't exactly known for their aseptic shells. And don't forget all the handling and the debris we find in every wound. The only way to not get any infection in this cesspool is to not come here." I was a sitting example. All I did was eat and drink with some locals to land with a decommissioning infection and now this kid was going to die because I was trying to not run over some Korean kids while I was returning from an Aid Station. Why did life have to be this cruel?

So much for optimism, DAMMIT.

Margaret silently watched me as I pushed my hands through my hair a hundredth time. And it was then that I observed Billy's friend, what was his name? watching me carefully with anger etched in his face and body language. He trusted Frank's clusters over my purple robe and part of me found that amusing. Who could blame him really?

"So we give him antibiotics! Everything in max doses."

"Done that. First doses are already in. Penicillin and Streptomycin, both. Send his blood counts, liver function tests, renal function tests, 'lytes and do it every twelve hours." I knew in my heart that if the numbers looked bad on these labs, I could do nothing about it. I also knew that if the numbers didn't look bad, I couldn't just relax either. And short of a lab error, there was no way for those numbers to look good. He was showing responsiveness in his lower limbs but that was no certain finding for us to feel good about his spine, not unless he was fully awake.

It was either going to be a really long battle or a terribly short one.

Sighing, I wondered what the hell was I going to do? I had slept in the day, almost four hours actually and only a few short weeks ago, I would have been functional with that amount of sleep for another thirty six hours minimum but right now, I was feeling exhausted. I wanted BJ back and less so for moral support and more so for the more selfish reason as I could leave post-op to him. Shaking my head, I told Margaret I was going to step out for a few minutes to clear my head.

It was cold outside and looked dreary. Being used to New England weather all my life, somehow, snow and rain and cold around here did not give me any feeling of nostalgia. Here, cold was brutal. Living in tents and sleeping in your outer wear was a new concept when I suffered through my first winters here and this year, despite being mentally prepared, it still felt just as bad. In fact, anticipation of the days ahead only added to the agony.

Why are you philosophizing about the weather?

I knew the reason. Feeling sorry about the weather diverted my mind from my current dilemmas; What to do about Billy Johnson aka little BJ? I could not give up on him but among his three biggest misfortunes, right now, not having a chest X-Ray in time surely topped the list. Of course none of that would have happened if he hadn't been too close to an exploding shell or grenade but who knew Spokane, Washington to be the breeding ground for shell recipients? If he had stayed home, finished school, fallen in love for the first time, gone to college, married and died of old age some seventy years from now, surrounded by a wife, six kids ,thirty grand kids and rest of the family, wouldn't that be the way to go? I knew these people justified these losses as inevitable and a furtherance of our freedom but I still had problem understanding this concept. And what about young kids? Billy wasn't even eighteen, the idiot. Who told him to enlist? Why didn't they send these kids home so they could at least finish their growing up before smelling the pungent smell of burnt gunpowder and flesh? Why did life's lotteries sucked so bad sometimes?

I noticed a small dust cloud some distance away and right away, Radar jumped out of his office to inform me of BJ's return.

A sudden release of some pent up pressure made me realize how much I was depending on him right now.

But what can he do?

I don't know. And I don't care. He's here and that's good enough.

"I saw the jeep." I informed Radar who looked suddenly deflated. "Radar!"

"Yes Hawkeye?"

"What's bothering you, Radar?" I asked Radar whose deflation was pretty obvious.

"Nothing, Hawkeye."

"Ray-Daar! Cummon, its me you're talking to. What is it?"

"Naw. Its nothing. Nothing's worrying me." He was evasive but right then BJ's jeep passed in front of us and Radar went in. I decided to return to post-op myself. Maybe BJ could take over from me tonight. And if I needed to, he could help me go in and explore Billy's chest and belly again. I did not know if Frank was going to do post-op tonight or not but with BJ back in the fray, I had a chance to relax a little.

"How is he?" I asked the ever-present Margaret, realizing time for end of shift was close.

"He's alright. Pressure is stabilizing at over ninety systolic and heart rate is around hundred."

"And?" I knew the shoe was going to drop and I wasn't going to like it all that much.

"Temp is now 99.8."

I looked at Billy and bit my lip and thought about what I could possibly do to make things work for him. Short of exploring his chest and abdomen for any left over shrapnel, there was nothing I could do.

"Get a chest and an abdominal film once his heart rate comes below hundred and his pressure goes above hundred. We may have to go in if we want him to make it. Also send blood cultures. And tell me whenever his labs from earlier return." I told Margaret this time.

"Alright doctor."

"Who will take over from you?"

"Don't worry about that. Shift in-charge will be Able and she is good. Brendt will also be on duty so they can look after him along with the rest. Don't worry!"

"I want updates on slightest change in status soon as it happens. Don't care if they use PA system and wake the whole camp up."

"When do you leave? You've been here for over twenty four hours yourself."

"Soon. BJ is here. I want him to rest a few hours before he comes here."

"I thought Frank was covering the night shift."

I looked at her meaningfully and she nodded realizing the problem herself. Frank wasn't the best hitter in the bullpen even at the best of times and with all the bungling he did on this kid, it was more likely than not that Frank would avoid him just to not be associated with him if things went bad.

"What do you think will happen?"

"I don't know, Margaret. Just don't know."

"I was talking about you."

"Same answer, Margaret. You know Frank and his obsession with military crap and I'm sure I broke quite a few commandments in his eyes. I don't give a damn. Its not the first time and barring his demise, it's not gonna be the last one either. Just so this kid lives..."

"Remember that kid? When he started getting the fever because there was an unrepaired perforation in his sigmoid, right?"

"Yeah, I always remember a thing like that but compared to this one, he was lucky Margaret. He has shrapnel in his belly and chest, he just had a pulmonary artery repair, had his aorta cross clamped and all his organs are suffering from effects of a compromised perfusion."

"He's so young, Hawkeye."

I just stared at the kid, tired of thinking the same things again and again.

Life just wasn't fair!