Sorry I haven't uploaded for a while guys, I was having problems with the website (It wouldn't let me directly upload files, so I had no way to upload besides copy and paste. There is no way I would use copy and paste). I'm back for now but it wouldn't surprise me if I come across another problem. So, if I don't upload for a while, that is probably why.

Anyway...

Chapter Eleven - Here It Goes Again

It's been the same for weeks now. No changes. Just me. In my room. Writing. Planning. Trying to remember. Days filled with... nothing. So many weeks, gone. Just like that. Precious moments of my life that I'll never get back.

I've pretty much finished my plan. Yet I continue to read through it, checking for the tiniest of mistakes. My confidence in myself is at an all time low, in the time that I need it most.

I'm unsure of the date, but I do know that the victory tour is fast approaching. In one way, I am looking forwards to it. I will be forced to go outside, socialise. Maybe it will even help me remember. I do feel bad for pushing them away, I know that my family and friends are missing me, but it's for the best.

In another way, I am not looking forwards to it. Having to look at the families who have lost their children. Families who have been torn apart. Possibly by my actions.

It also means that the reaping is getting ever closer. That is the day that I start to act on my plan. Everything has to be perfect by then. Nothing can go wrong.

"Phoenix? Your stylists will be here soon. For the victory tour." I hear Hunter say. I jump slightly, I've gotten so used to silence. It's the first time I've been spoken to in weeks. I'm slightly hurt by the fact that she doesn't use my nickname. We've drifted apart.

I know that she doesn't expect a response.

I take a deep breath, and push my head up from amongst the sheets of paper strewn across my desk, a pen still in my hand.

"How soon?" I ask, as loudly as my sore, dry throat allows me to.

There is a moment of silence, before she speaks.

"About fifteen minutes. The victory tour begins today, remember?" she asks, a spark of hope igniting in her voice.

I thought my memory had been getting better, but apparently not. This knocks my fragile confidence a little.

"No. I don't remember anything anymore." I say, my voice cracking slightly as a single tear escapes from my eye. "But I wish I did." I add under my breath.

"We'll make it better. Okay? Just be ready for them." she says. I hear the door creak a little as she leans against it. "I'll see you soon?"

"Okay." I murmur, waiting until the sound of her footsteps have faded before standing up on my weak, shaking legs.

I decide that the first thing that I need to do is hide all things that relate to my plan. I gather up the paper, looking around my room for potential hiding places. I decide that the wardrobe is much too obvious, and that under my bed woukd be the first place they would look.

Eventually, I settle on cutting open part of my mattress with my pen knife and hiding my first copy there, before putting the sheet back over. Of course, I have an extra copy, just in case. I hide that where I hide my morphling. Under the sink in my ensuite bathroom. It's perfect.

I decide that there is no way that I can make myself look presentable in the few minutes that I have left, so I use the rest of the time I have tidying my room. Putting books back on shelves and trying to remember what happens in each story, picking up shards of glass and putting them into the trash can, opening my curtains again.

Just as I wrap mysef in a dressing gown, I hear the doorbell ring, echoing through the house. They're here.

I stay in my room, listening from behind the tightly locked door.

"Oh, how nice it is to see you again!" I recognise Treasure's voice. So it isn't just the stylists.

I can pick out Will's low voice amongst the chatter. I wonder how long he has been here for?

"Alright. It's now or never. If you survived the Hunger Games, you can unlock this door." I whisper to myself, placing my hand on the lock.

I squeeze my eyes shut before twisting the lock and hearing the door creak open. I stand for a second, deciding whether or not I should just run straight back into my room.

I take a small step forwards, another, and another, until I am facing the stairs. Everyone is in the living room, I can hear them. Chatting causally. They've not asked about me yet.

I put my hand on the railing to steady myself and take small steps one at a time. It's so light and open, I'm not sure that I remember it being like this. So light that my head is starting to hurt.

I make it to the bottom of the stairs just in time to hear Stella ask,

"And where is Phoenix? "

There is a moment of silence. Nobody wants to explain my disappearance.

"Right here." I smile, my voice hoarse as ever, as I push open the door.

"Phee!" Ryan yells, pulling me into a bear hug. I hug him back, until he lets go. I really needed that.

My family continues to fuss over me, leaving my stylists very confused. Once I am finally released from Will's tight grasp, my stylists walk over to me. Each one shaking my hand or kissing my cheek.

"Darling, you look so skinny nowadays!" says Marvel, trying to find something to compliment me on. And although, by Capitol standards, this is usually a compliment, I can see the worry in his eyes.

I just nod and try to smile. Everybody still seems to be taken aback by my prescance.

"Nice to have you back." smiles Hunter.

I nod in her general direction, and lean into Will. His arm is wrapped posessiveley around my waist. He is the only thing keeping me from falling.

"It looks like we have a lot of work to do," sighs Felicity as Natalie pours a cup of tea for her.

"Yes, indeed." Stella agrees, studying my condition.

After Will finally lets go of me, my stylists drag me up into my bedroom, and begin to unpack all of their things.

"We must hurry, we have to keep to a tight schedule." Marvel murmurs to himself as they set up a reclining chair.

I stand there, watching them, curious.

There are people in my bedroom. There are actually people in my bedroom. Wow. I guess I didn't realise just how lonely I had been.

"Okay, we are done. Phoenix, come and sit down." smiles Felicity, reaching into her bag.

"We must sort these eyebrows out, what a mess." sighs Stella, running her hand over my face. I move away from her touch, still not quite used to it.

"Sorry." I murmur, watching as she sorts out the tub of self-heating wax.

Eyebrow waxing is the worst.

I close my eyes, and try to block out the pain. I am silent, until my stylists try to start conversation.

"So, what have you been up to recently?" asks Felicity.

"Nothing much. I've been thinking a lot." I reply. It's the truth, sort of.

"About what my dear?" asks Marvel.

"I don't know. A lot of stuff." I say vaguely, hoping that they'll get the hint, and move on to another topic.

They are starting to brush my tangled hair, which unsurprisingly, hurts like hell.

We are silent, and I know that they have accepted the fact that I don't want to talk. I have nothing against them personally, it's just that I haven't socialised in a while.

Eventually, they get me to stand up, and insist that I keep my eyes closed, somewhat of a tradition.

They leave me in the room, alone, while they go and fetch the outfit from one of the suitcases that they left downstairs.

Of course I'm not going to keep my eyes closed.

They have placed a mirror on front of me. I am wearing only my underwear. I can see the dark scar that runs down my side, a reminder of just how close I was to death.

They transformed me, yet again. I honestly don't know how they do it. I look...refreshed, alive. . That's the best way I can describe it.

They have untangled and smoothed my hair, which hangs in loose curls down past my shoulders. It has grown, and is still the same golden colour that I know it to be.

They have covered the many blemishes that were prominent on my face, and somehow, returned my skin to it's beautiful bronze colour again.

They put eyedrops in my eyes, so that the redness would die down. They are now once again that sea blue colour that I know all too well.

My eyebrows are still thick, but seemingly tidier.

They have done my makeup with a heavy hand, but have somehow managed to make it look quite natural. In comparison to most capitol makeup anyway.

I look human again.

I hear footsteps outside, and close my eyes again, not wanting to ruin it for them.

"I hope you didn't look!" squeals Felicity as she enters the room.

"Nope. Not one bit." I say.

It takes quite a while for them to adjust the dress, it is a little too big. Eventually, they are satisfied, and help me into my shoes.

Then, they uncover my eyes.

I am in a white shift dress, shapeless yet beautiful. It is very feminine. The shoes match perfectly, yet again, white.

They have tied my hair into a side ponytail, letting my side fringe fall over one of my eyes. A heavy necklace rests against my chest.

"We thought you might want to be a little more...casual." says Marvel, admiring his work.

I nod. "Yes. Thank you." I smile, turning away from the mirror.

We are silent for a while, before Felicity turns to me.

"Phee, is anything wrong? You seem...off. You're not your usual self." she asks, genuinley concerned.

"No. Everything is fine. Everything is great, actually." I smile widely at her, lying easily.

"Ah, good." she smiles back. I convinced her that easily.

I walk down the stairs once again, to find everyone there waiting for me.

"You look beautiful." Raven says when I reach the bottom.

"Thank you." I smile, little taken aback. "You are absolutely stunning."

That makes her smile. I missed her smile.

"I'm sorry. It's been too long." I whisper to her as the lights are turned on outside.

"No. It's okay. You do what you have to do." she says, looking up to me.

"Trust me, it'll all be worth it in the end." I force a smile.

"Whatever you say." she smiles back at me.

We link hands as we hear the countdown from outside, before Treasure pushes us out of the front door.

Okay, so that was chapter eleven, the next chapter should be up soon. Thanks for reading!