CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
So tired. I was just so tired.
I wake up drowsy, almost as if I had been drugged and I wonder if maybe I was because I am back in my bedroom at the house Edward rented. It's quiet and peaceful and part of me for just a second wonders if it was all a nightmare.
I look at my hands and the reality sits there beneath my fingernails. Dried blood.
I get up slowly and walk towards the bathroom. I stare into the mirror and every moment is replayed almost in slow motion like I could go back and change it. The man…I see his face and I know that face. Where have I seen that face? Why would he do this? Every time I picture him, he looks more and more sinister.
I feel lost and unconsciously I rub my stomach which for some reason feels fuller and heavier than before today.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I have pulled you into this life. You deserved better. I can still give that to you. I love you so much baby…and your daddy will love you so much and keep you safe…I know it."
I go to my dresser to find some better clothes and it reminds me of the jeans that Jacob had bought for me. Probably part of some kind of paparazzi online bidding auction now, I think bitterly. The second to last gift that Jacob would ever give me. I can't help but think the worse. Edward would have awoken me if there was better news.
After dressing, I slowly walk down the stairs afraid to alert anyone to my presence.
"When will Uncle Jacob come home?" I hear my youngest ask. I pause, my heart wanting to ask the same question.
"I don't know baby. He might have to stay at the hospital for a little while. But we can go visit him when your mom wakes up." Embry replies.
"She's been asleep for a really long time."
"She needs that sleep so she can feel better." I hear Edward reply.
I see my purse near the door and I need to see for myself. I need to see Jacob. I make my way out of the house and manage to get to my car. I have no idea where the hospital is but the car we rented has all that fancy GPS stuff to help me along.
I drive the twenty or so miles to get there and for a second I wonder if I'm even going toward the right hospital. It didn't occur to me to find that information out. But as I arrive I see the throngs of reporters outside still and I know I was in the right place.
Like a civilian I find myself some parking in the nearby structure and make my way through one of the side entrances hoping that I will go unnoticed.
"Jacob Black….I don't know what room they moved him to." I say to some receptionist.
"Mrs. Cullen…he's still in room six-fifty-three. Would you like a staff member to show you the way?" she looks at me like I'm from the mental ward and I'm sure I gave her good reason to. I nod and thank her for her help.
I see Jacob lying in the hospital bed and just like a scene out of some doctor medical drama; all the machines are beeping or making some noise accordingly. I slowly walk in and can see that he looks as white as a ghost. Even his Hollywood tan does little for him.
He is shirtless and I can see a bandage covering the area where he was shot. The whole scene brings on a fresh wave of tears and I feel the weight of my guilt pressing down upon me.
"I'm sorry." I whisper. "I'm so sorry, Jacob."
I reach out to just touch his hand and he jerks awake, practically scaring me to death.
"Hey….princess…" his voice rasps. "Here for my sponge bath?"
I disregard his attempt at humor. "How…how are you?" Such a stupid question.
"Eh…you know…same ole same ole." He tries to shrug and ends up cringing.
"I'm so sorry." I repeat.
"Not your fault…I just need to remember that shrugs and well anything having to do with my upper body needs to be thought out first." He quips.
"No. Not about that. I'm sorry for doing this to you." I start.
"Doing this? I know my mind is a little fuzzy but I'm pretty sure you didn't shoot me."
"Stop joking around. This is serious. This never would have happened to you if I wasn't there. This is my fault. Things keep happening and it's all because of me."
"Bella…I think you're the one in need of a head deflation…you're starting to sound like a narcissistic celebrity."
"Too many things have happened. Bad things keep happening and everything comes back to me. I can't allow that anymore. I need to be far, far away from anyone I love. I love you…I love Edward, Savannah and Gracie and I need to go…just go away…"
"Stop it. Stop talking like that." Jacob sits up a little more in his bed and his tone of voice changed drastically. "You're not leaving. You're not going anywhere."
"I have no choice." I shudder.
"No choice? What are you just planning on taking off again? Taking your children away from Edward…do you even realize what that will do to him?"
"When I have the baby…I will give it to Edward…I don't want to jeopardize my baby's life by being in it. I would never forgive myself if something happened to it."
"Oh well that's just loads better. You will abandon your children. Wow, smart moves all around."
"I'm doing this for them. For you. You know firsthand how dangerous it is to be near me. You almost got killed." I started shaking my head. "I can't…I can't…"
"You really think Edward's not going to track you down? He will find you, Bella. We will find you."
"He didn't find me last time. In August."
"August…was fucked. Everything about that month was fucked. You, like you always do just run off never giving any one a chance to try and talk some sense into you. August was your fault, Bella. Okay…and maybe Lauren Malloy's but mostly it was your fault because you should have more faith in Edward. I wanted to tell you this but Edward told me to let it go. I'm not going to let it go because what you're doing is fucked!"
"I have to go. I'm glad you're okay." I replied softly. It would be better for him to hate me. I started to turn from Jacob. I didn't have much time. I knew it wouldn't take Edward long to realize where I was.
"No. Bella. Don't do this. GOD DAMMIT, BELLA! I will get out of this bed and come with you." He threatens and it stalls me long enough. "You owe me this. You're my best friend and I took a fucking bullet for you. Come back here and talk to me. You fucking owe me that much."
I turn around and see the covers pulled off him and he is straining to hold himself up.
"Please." He mouths.
I walk slowly over to his bed. "Lie down. I don't need you back in surgery because your stupid ass busts a stitch or something." I sniffled.
"Stupid ass. I'm the smartest ass in here which doesn't say much for your intelligence."
I stare at the foot of his bed and my mind is numb.
"You're being completely irrational. Your hormones are just mind fucking you. You're tired. You have had a crazy couple of days and you're not in your right mind. Just…lay with me."
I roll my eyes. "I'm not going to lay with you…you're all beat up and shit."
"Lay down with me. As your hero I think I deserve… just lay down with me."
He pushes himself over to the edge of his bed and coaxed me over. I sigh and finally give in. I try to pull the sheets up and over just him and he pulls them over me as well. I look over my shoulder back at him and give him a look.
"What? This injury is probably the best thing to ever happen to me…I'm abusing this shit." He cracks.
We lay there in silence and I am just hoping that he will fall back to sleep but I think back and wonder if he is too afraid to fall asleep because he thinks I will leave.
"So…I guess you really are the best choice for godfather after all." I remark, testing to see if he's still awake.
"Thanks but you're only saying that because now you need three sets of godparents."
I furrow my brow wondering if his morphine or something is kicking in.
"What are you talking about? Why would I need three sets of godparents?"
"Well, I guess you could have one set for all three…I just figured that since you and Edward have a lot of friends you would naturally go with three sets."
"All three of what?"
Jacob didn't say anything but I could feel his body freeze. I finally look back to him and I could see that he is looking me over concerned.
"Edward…didn't tell you?"
"Tell me? Tell me what?" I press.
"Fuck me!" Jacob gasped. "Fuck..." he looks down at me and yells out again. "OH FUCK."
"What is with all the fucking? What the fuck are you yelling about?" I'm sure by now I was trembling because I wasn't doing well with putting the puzzle of Jacob's words together.
"Bell…ah hell."
"Just tell me." I practically scream.
A nurse walks in and chastises us for our loud voices. "You're going to have to leave Mrs. Cullen, if you both can't control yourselves."
"Come on Nurse Patty…who's you're favorite celebrity patient?" Jacob goes right into charm and I can see her give him that look of fake disdain because she too is taken by his charm. I just want to tell this woman to get the hell out because I am dying to hear what Jacob is going to tell me.
She finally leaves.
"Tell me, you bastard. Just tell me." I order.
"Bastard?"
"Jacob!" I snap.
Jacob looks like he has a really bad taste in his mouth.
"Edward…he had an ultrasound done on you because he was really freaked the fuck out…he thought with all the stress that it could have caused some…issues. Anyway…I guess you were pretty out of it but before he took you home he came up to check on me. I know I was pretty doped up but I know what I heard and he told me that…you were pregnant…."
Jacob paused.
"Pregnant? I've known I was pregnant." I snapped.
"Will you just give me a second?" He sighed. "Always so damn impatient."
I breathe in deeply and grit my teeth waiting for him to continue.
"There's more than one pea in your pod." He finally says.
"Huh?" I heard what he said but I wasn't comprehending.
"You…you have a couple more squatters in…you then you realized." Jacob tries to explain.
He places a hand on my pudge and looks at me.
"Bella, you have three babies inside you."
Finally, some clarity but then all that knowledge did was turn my confusion into shock.
I'm shaking my head. I don't know why my head is shaking but it's shaking.
"No…no….no…."I start to say. "No…you were doped….no…you…no…"
"I was doped but I know what I heard. I remember feeling incredibly happy. Edward was incredibly happy. You should have seen him…he actually cried."
I slowly stare down at my stomach and for just a second I thought maybe a scene from Alien was going to take place and I was waiting for something to rip out of my stomach and hiss at me or something.
"Three?" I asked again.
"Three…as in uno, dos, thes." He says in the most white boy accent ever.
"Oh, thank god." Edward runs through the door of Jacob's room clearly relieved to see me.
"Dude…thanks a lot." Jacob huffs but I'm still in shock. "You didn't think to tell her?"
Edward looks between us and sees my open display of shock.
"Uh…she was sleeping?" he made a lame excuse.
"Is…he was doped…he…not in his right mind." I try to justify.
And like the Alien scenario actually happened, Edward slowly started to approach looking me over.
"Bella…" he starts.
"NO! No! I mean no! I can't….I don't even have enough tits….no." I kept shaking my head back and forth.
"Honey, this isn't a bad thing….this is a very good thing. It's a miracle." Edward tried to encourage.
"How did this happen?" I ask myself.
"Well, you see when Edward uploaded his…load…" Jacob starts.
"Shut up, Jacob." I snap.
"Save a life, you'd think I'd get a little more respect." Jacob grumbled.
"We are going to make this work. We have no choice. Whether you like it or not, in five or so months…we will have half a Brady Bunch." Edward states.
"Half a Brady Bunch is going to walk out of my whoo who?" I try.
"I wouldn't say walk…in fact I envision lots of screaming and blood…kind of like yesterday but with more cursing." Jacob remarks.
"Jacob." Edward rebukes.
"What? He tries shrugging but realizes that was a stupid move and cringes.
I sat there on that bed and started to really contemplate what this really meant. It was triple everything. Wasn't this something that god should only do to more experienced parents? Edward and I had no baby experience whatsoever. There should be some type of certification courses that a person should have to go through for this.
"Bella."
I mean when you think about it maybe there should be some type of certification course just to have one baby. The population would be better controlled.
"Bella."
"There wouldn't be as much poverty and hunger…"
"Bella." Edward reached out and touched me to wake me from my over analytical thoughts.
I know that I should be happy. This was a good thing but this was also an incredibly scary thing. I plaster on my fake smile, "Yea…uh…this is…yea…"
Okay fake smile works much better when accompanied by silence and a slight head nod.
"We're going to be okay. I know you're kind of freaking out but we're going to be okay." Edward replied.
"Oh….you know it. We…are…going…to be okay." I championed. "In fact, I will be much better after I use the loo. Three babies seem to be pressing down on my bladder and it…needs….relief."
I stumble off the bed and I think I actually feel Edward's heart drop as he goes to catch me.
"Let's be careful, sweetheart." He advises and then I know that three babies mean three times the watchfulness.
I go to the bathroom and just stand there with the door closed. Should I cry? Should I scream? Should I pull that nurse's cord and explain that I think I'm having a heart attack? Instead I just slide down the wall and sit down on the bathroom floor. The peace from questions or reassurements is what I needed.
I start thinking of the number three and looking around my cold small hospital bathroom. I don't see anything in multiples of three. One toilet. One. Mirror. Two faucets. Two legs. Two arms. Two arms!
"Bella…are you okay?" Edward knocks.
"What would be your definition of "okay?"" I ask.
He doesn't answer just pushing the door open and finding me on the floor.
"I only have two arms." I say.
"Huh?"
"I only have two arms which means that one of my babies…I won't be able to hold them all at once and then that means I will inadvertently leave one out all the time and then that poor baby is going to grow up with a complex that they're not loved as much. My baby already has a complex."
Edward crouches down thinking how best he can answer my worries. "Well, I have two arms so technically we could have four babies and be okay."
"What about late at night when you don't want to wake up or if you're away for the day. I am completely outnumbered."
"What about me? I'm always around. You can't get rid of me. Hell, you can't even kill me apparently." Jacob shouts from the bed.
"It's only a matter of time before you move on, Jacob." I sigh.
"We have Embry, your mother, the girls…do you even realize how many people who love you and who will love our children will always be around? You will never be alone and I highly doubt you will be outnumbered." Edward replied.
"And you also have three sets of godparents to depend on." Jacob added.
I started feeling a little bit better.
"You really think we can do this? How are you not freaking out?"
"Yes. I do. Come here." Edward held out his hand and I placed my hand in his. He helped me up and off the floor. "Jacob, we'll be back."
"Where are you going?" Jacob called. "HEY!"
Edward kept walking. Apparently he had gotten the lay of this hospital last night because he knew right where he was going.
"Dr. Zimmer." Edward said to this fairly young woman. "I know that we don't have an appointment but if you could just indulge us?"
It didn't take long for Dr. Zimmer to have me all set up for another ultrasound. I could feel myself trembling but that was usually caused from the fact they always kept hospitals so damn cold.
"I'm freezing." I whispered over to Edward to help calm his fears. Edward took my hands and started to rub them. His body temperature always ran a little colder than mine but it helped.
"Okay, see right there. That is baby Cullen one." The doctor announced. She moved her mouse thingy around on my stomach and found the second baby Cullen and then the last. Sure enough there were three different heartbeats.
"You should have seen me here yesterday. The doctor here wouldn't tell me what was going on and I was panicking thinking it was something bad." Edward said.
"Yes, he was quite the stressed daddy but I think that it was worth the wait, don't you?" she asked.
"Wow. Does this ever get old? Looking at them…just sitting there…it feels like the first time all over again." I marveled.
"See. They are perfect and they're ours." Edward kissed my head and I couldn't help but tear up.
Dr. Zimmer left us alone with the machine and then it dawned on me that I couldn't leave Edward. There would be no way he could handle three babies all on his own twenty-four seven. I guess I was being irrational when I thought it was a good idea to try to disappear. Looking at the heart beats all going at once…it was a moment unlike any other.
"With all the negative going on, there was a silver lining. I can never repay Jacob for keeping you and my babies safe. And Embry for watching after you when I wasn't here. Bella, we are so blessed to have so many people in our lives who love us and we can trust. I honestly believe that it's because of our family and friends we can do this and those three babies will never go a day without knowing how much they are loved."
I could feel my heart finding a steady rhythm and my mind finally able to focus on something. Edward was right and even though I was scared, I knew he was right.
We were walking back to Jacob's room when something caught my eye on the television screen. A news report. I paused watching as the reporter gave details of incidents involving myself and Jacob. The picture on the screen showed that man again.
"Bella, come on. You shouldn't watch this." Edward tried to tug my hand but I was still looking at that picture and running it through my mind. His name plastered below the picture, Laurent…
I gasped and dropped Edward's hand.
"Jacob. I have to get to Jacob." I took off down the hospital halls and quickly as possible.
"What is it? What's going on?" Edward tried to ask while barely keeping up.
"Jacob." I practically shouted entering his room. I went straight for the remote and turned his television on.
"What is going on?" Edward asked again.
"Look at this picture. Do you recognize him? He was at our wedding. He was our driver." I frantically tried to explain.
"Oh my god." Jacob's mouth dropped open as he marveled at the television screen.
"What? What are you talking about?" Edward asked again.
"The day of our wedding we had drivers to take our wedding party up to the castle. I remember him because I didn't feel comfortable about him for some reason so I asked Jacob at the last minute to accompany my mother and me. He gave me shivers."
"Yeah, that bastard tried to protest when I went to get in the car. Do you think he wanted to…" Jacob tapered off.
"I don't know but somehow…something feels very odd about this." I replied.
"What do you think, Edward?" Jacob looked over to him and I could see that Edward was having just as much trouble with all this information.
"I don't know but we're going to find out as much as we can. I think that for now we…we should try to be opened to any possibilities. Be vigilant and accept help…accept that we there may be a lesson we can all learn from this."
I didn't know until later that day that Edward was preparing me for a very important discussion that Embry was planning on having with me. A discussion that at the time I hated but now looking back it was something that needed to be done.
I also didn't know that what had happened with Laurent to make him so desperate to complete his mission. His mission was just a string of three. Three completely separate events that took place in my life. These three events if looked at would just seem like a string of bad luck for me. How was I to know that what happened to me was all instrumented by one man? Jacob was an innocent bystander. He wasn't the one who switched the glasses. For Jacob it was bad luck. For me it was destiny.
AN: Thank you for that amazing response to last chapter. I really didnt think I would get as many positive reviews as I did. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read and review, it means so much to me!