Regina rose from the couch and walked over to her liquor cabinet. She picked up a highball, put some whiskey into it and added soda. Then she walked back to the couch and sat down, her back against one of it's arms, her legs stretched out over its length. She pulled a blanket over her legs and sipped slowly at her drink.
She did all of this very deliberately while she felt the inner turmoil of conflicting emotions rage within her. She tried to compartmentalize them as the alcohol started to dull her senses.
She was angry. That had been the first emotion she'd felt. Angry at Emma for lying to her. This particular lie she'd told had cost the mayor a whole day at work where she hadn't been able to concentrate on anything but the question how Emma could have forgotten their kiss.
She was also angry at herself because of the disappointment she'd felt. Yes, she'd tried to bury her emotions deeply, she'd tried to not think about the kiss she'd shared with the sheriff but she had failed miserably. Somehow... it had meant something. Maybe it was just because she was lonely, or maybe just because it had been such a long time since she'd felt any kind of passion but that kiss... it had stirred something deep inside her. Was it physical? Emotional?
The fact that Emma had been so sweet and adorable while she had been drunk hadn't helped at all. She just had to think about the blonde telling her that she liked her and she felt it all again. She hadn't heard anyone say anything like this in a long time. Nobody liked her, she was the Evil Queen. Even accepting something like friendship from any of the people she'd cursed seemed impossible. And she had cursed Emma - to a life without her parents, to a childhood in foster care.
How could they come back from there?
It seemed impossible, any kind of bond with anyone in Storybrooke. And yet... she'd had a confidant in Archie for some years now. There were people who worked for her, looked up to her. If nothing else, everybody knew that she was a dedicated mayor. But she didn't have friends.
She never thought she would miss that, it hadn't seemed all that important in the Enchanted Forest. She'd had allies then, she'd had her guard, her subjects, and, of course, her father. But no friends. Daniel seemed to have been the only person who had ever been willing to make that effort - except for Snow, maybe... and now Emma. Or had she?
Emma had been drunk that night. Yes, she had said that she liked her, and she had said that she wanted Regina to have more fun, to let her hair down, and she had also kissed her. But was any of it even real if Emma had forgotten some of it, remembered some of it incorrectly or blurred or...
And did any of this matter at all?
Did Regina want Emma Swan as her friend? Did she need a friend like Emma Swan? She was Snow White's daughter, after all, what kind of friend could she possibly be?
Of course, Henry was their son and they would have to work out something to... be the kind of parents to him that he deserved but... beyond that?
Regina sighed. She didn't want to have to need anyone - anyone besides Henry. She didn't want to yearn for... a conversation or maybe even a hug. Emma had hugged her last night and it had felt awkward. Why would she want something like that? Why would she even waste time thinking about it?
And yet she did.
It was all a very confusing conundrum of human emotions. Regina didn't know where they suddenly came from, she felt overwhelmed and wanted them gone again. But that night didn't erase itself, the memories were clear in her mind, the emotions just under the surface. She would have to deal with them eventually.
Regina looked up as the clock on her mantle chimed seven times. She became aware of her surroundings again, the surroundings of the mansion where the mayor of Storybrooke lived. She didn't think it possible that the life of Regina Mills would change her so much. She had thought that she would just be the Evil Queen, that she would reign over some amnesiac idiots who had forgotten their former life, that they would look up to her, would fear her. But Storybrooke had changed her. Henry had changed her, too. She was now more Regina Mills than she had ever been the Evil Queen. Whether it was good or bad... she didn't know. But she would probably find out.
Regina sighed again and looked at the book that was lying on the coffee table. She picked it up. Henry had talked her into reading the series and she found that she enjoyed it immensely. Sure, the way they practiced magic seemed... amateurish and foolish but it was still entertaining.
She turned the book to where she had stopped reading and was about to continue when there was a knock on the doorframe.
"Mom?" Henry asked.
"Henry, I... come in," she told him and smiled at her son. "Did you want something?"
"Yeah, I... I'm actually hungry," he told her.
"Of course, you are. I'm sorry. I was thinking about something. You wanna help me cook?"
"Sure," he said and Regina rose from the couch. She lay her arm around him as they left the living room. "What were you thinking about?" Henry asked as they entered the kitchen.
"Just... stuff," she said. "Nothing terribly important."
Emma entered the diner. She smiled politely at some of the other customers as she made her way to the counter and sat down. Ruby nodded at her as she picked up the coffee pot and topped off Grumpy's cup. The dwarf mumbled his thanks but didn't even look up from his paper. Ruby came over to her friend.
"Hey," she said smiling.
"Hey, am I too late for dinner?" Emma asked as she looked at the clock on the wall. It was already after nine. She had driven around town for awhile, not as part of her duties as sheriff but just because she hadn't wanted to drive home, until her stomach had started grumbling in protest. She knew that Granny usually closed the kitchen at nine but hoped that Ruby would show some pity.
"You're never too late. What will you have?" The brunette asked and Emma smiled thankfully at her.
"Lasagna and a coke?"
"Be right back," Ruby told her and went into the kitchen.
Emma looked around a little. She knew most of the patrons due to her being the sheriff but except for Grumpy who didn't seem in the mood to talk there weren't any of her friends around. That suited Emma just fine, she wasn't in a chatty mood either. Or so she told herself.
She had been thinking about Regina while driving around, of course. How could she not? That woman was... infuriating and quite... impossible. And Emma didn't even know why she should care, and yet she did.
She wasn't sure what had changed. Well, obviously a lot of things had changed when they were in Neverland, but how did these changes effect her and Regina? They had fought for their son, they had... magicked an eclipse which was a pretty astounding accomplishment, sure. But they had done it all for Henry, he was at the center of their... complicated... acquaintance. What else could there possibly be?
An attraction, Emma had to confess. Regina was a stunningly beautiful woman and she had been aware of it the moment they'd met. That's why she had been a little tongue-tied at first. She could admit to it, she could say that, yes, she found Regina insanely attractive.
But that hadn't been the reason for her hugging the other woman last night, she now reminded herself and only just remembered the hug in that instance. She had hugged Regina and it had been pretty awkward, mostly for Regina since Emma had been beyond caring. Had she actually suggested that she would do it again, that they were... about to become friends? Emma seemed to recall it but had she actually meant it?
Emma lay her head into her hand and sighed. That was the moment, a plate of deliciously smelling lasagna appeared before her. She looked up at the woman who had placed it before her. She tried a smile.
"Thank you, Ruby," she said heartfelt and the other woman smiled at her.
"I still got a piece of that cherry pie you love so much, in case you're up for dessert," she infromed the blonde with a suggestive wriggle of her eyebrows.
Emma laughed.
"I think I might be," she said as Ruby went back to serving other patrons with coffee and after-dinner snacks.
Emma meanwhile put her thoughts on hold and enjoyed her dinner. Her hunger had her empty her plate quickly and she had only just devoured the last piece when Ruby appeared again.
"Dessert?" she asked and Emma nodded. By now most of the customers had paid and left. There was only one table still occupied and they seemed to be ready to leave, too. Ruby brought Emma her pie after adding some cream to its top.
"This looks like a little piece of heaven," Emma said as Ruby handed her a small fork. "Thank you."
"You're very welcome."
"Bye, Ruby," one of the men that had occupied that last table called out while the other waved. Ruby waved back.
"Night, guys, drive carefully," she told them and they laughed. From their attire they were easily recognizable as mechanics. They left the diner.
"This is fantastic," Emma informed Ruby after her first forkful of pie.
"I know, Granny's original recipe. I try to talk her into writing a cookbook but she says that if everybody knew how to make her food, nobody would come here to eat anymore. She may be right," Ruby said and grinned. But then she sobered. "You looked a little... down earlier or was that just my imagination?"
"Oh, I... you know, I went over to Regina's tonight and told her... that I remembered..."
"And you're still able to walk? I'm amazed," Ruby said and by the look on her face she was only half joking.
"I'm not saying she wasn't angry. I... tried to explain... I mean... it's not like I don't know what the bottom line is here. She's not interested, even if she were she would never admit to it, it will never happen again... and all of that."
"But that's not how it is for you," Ruby guessed at Emma's disappointed face.
"I'm not in love or something, it's just... she's interesting. And she's... attractive. And she can kiss..."
"A little more than that, I would say from the noises I've heard you make last night." Ruby smirked as Emma looked up at her with a surprised expression.
The blonde blushed.
"We just kissed," she defended herself.
"Yeah, for just over half an hour. I'd say that qualifies as a little bit more than kissing, sweety."
"Half. An. Hour. But... no... it wasn't that long, I mean... no way," Emma stammered but Ruby nodded.
"Way," she contradicted her friend.
Emma frowned.
"Really?"
Ruby nodded.
"Wow... I mean, I thought it had been like... five minutes, tops. I mean I don't remember the whole night too well but... I thought I remembered that part... half an hour... there was some groping, sure, I think I almost lay on top of... not that you need to know that," Emma interrupted herself and Ruby grinned.
"Believe me, I already know more about that encounter than I need to. It's not like I can just tune out my ears and I really tried not to eavesdrop but... well, when you moaned her name... I could hardly overhear that, sorry."
"Okay, okay, just stop it," Emma said blusing furiously. "Maybe it was a little more than a simple kiss... I think I may have made it to second base but... it doesn't really matter, does it? We won't ever be lovers, I doubt we can make it to friends," Emma said and she could hear the pout in her own voice.
Ruby must have heard it, too.
"Do you wanna be her friend?" she asked.
Emma looked at her. She scrabed the last of her pie from the plate and put it into her mouth before she answered.
"I do," she simply said.
"Then be it."
"Just like that?"
"Yeah, sure. All you need to do is be nice to someone, pay attention to them, send them a text, make them realize you care. I think Regina couldn't make a better friend and I also think she needs one, desperately. So go for it," the brunette told Emma. "The worst she can do is turn you down... again."
"Yeah, like that isn't bad enough."
"You'll never know if you don't give it a chance," Ruby encouraged and Emma thought about it for a long moment. The brunette collected Emma's dirty dishes and brought them into the kitchen to load into the dishwasher. When she reappeared, Emma said:
"You're right. I will try being her friend."
"Good, maybe you'll even get some sugar along the way," Ruby teased.
"That's not what I'm doing it for. I think you were right about her needing a friend. I think she's lonely... I mean... man, if you repeat any of this to my mom..."
"I won't, Emma. Okay? Your mom is my best friend but you're my friend, too. And I won't tell her anything you told me... at least not things that you don't want her to know. And certainly nothing that concerns Regina. I think that goes without saying," Ruby said a little annoyed.
"I'm sorry, Rubes, It's just... if she should find out about... last night... I don't wanna hurt her."
"Neither do I."
Emma nodded.
"I've got something else... that Snow doesn't need to know just now. I mean, I'm going to tell her but... you don't happen to know about... an apartment or a little house for rent?"
"You want to move out of the apartment?"
Emma nodded again.
"Well, I know about Graham's cottage in the woods. But it's pretty hard to find and not easily accessible. I don't think it would be ideal for raising a kid," Ruby told Emma.
"I didn't even know about that," Emma said thoughtfully.
"I guess it isn't common knowledge though Graham lived there. He was the lone wolf type... if there is such a type. Wolves are actually more the big family-type. Just... well..."
Emma smiled at the slight blush Ruby was sporting.
"Inside knowledge."
"I get it but... well, you're probably right about the cottage, though I would actually like to have a look at it. Do you think you can show me where it is one of these days?"
"Sure, if you're interested. If you want to find something to live in, though, you should probably ask... the mayor."
"Regina?"
Ruby nodded.
"This is not your average small town, Emma. The town was pretty much build for the people Regina cursed and I don't think there is much additional space, you know?"
"I haven't thought about that. I would probably have to build and... well, that's not really in my budget," the sheriff said.
"Regina would know," Ruby said.
"I guess... well, we've already made plans to meet next week to talk about Henry so... I guess I'll find out soon enough."
"I think you should give Snow a warning," Ruby told her earnestly. "She likes to have you around, you and Henry."
"It's so crowded in that small apartment," Emma argued.
"Still, I think you should tell her before you go to Regina. You know how the mayor is... she might mention it to Snow and... well... that would hurt her."
Emma nodded.
"You're right. Thanks for listening... and advising, Ruby. I appreciate it."
Ruby smiled.
"I know you'd do the same for me," she said.
"You're right. Well, I guess I'll go back to the station, see how Tink is adjusting to her new job," Emma said and slipped from her stool
"So you really made her your deputy? Shouldn't she be one of the nuns now?"
Emma laughed.
"I don't think she is nun-material, really. But I think she'll be good at law enforcement. We'll see how it goes. Night, Ruby."
"Night, Emma. Tell your family hi from me," Ruby called after her as she left the diner and Emma raised a hand in acknowledgement.