Just a warning, there's a bit of swearing in this chapter. I like this chapter and once you get to the end, I think you will too
I looked back inside at every one then down at my phone, my finger hovering over Emily's name. Grow some balls Jareau! I press call and listen to the ring
"Prentiss" my heart jumped up into my throat
"Hey Em" I try and sound a bit more casual
"JJ? What's up? Is something wrong? Is Henry ok?" she spat out
"Whoa calm down, everything's ok, I just wanted to ring" I laugh
"Oh ok. So what's up?" she asks a bit surprised
"Nothing, we are all just spending the weekend at Rossi's and realised that there was a person missing"
"Oh ok" she whispers, probably not expecting that
"I miss you Emily"
"I miss you too Jen. Can you hang on a sec" I heard her talking to someone and I realised she's at work "Sorry about that" she says when she turns her attention back to me
"Oh I forgot you would be at work, I'll let you go" I say
"No! Wait!" I smile at her urgency "I mean you don't have to, I can multi task" she nervously laughs "Unless you have to get back to everyone"
"Nah I'm good, they are all watching a movie. So how much trouble did you get in for borrowing the jet?" I sit back in the seat and get comfy
"Not too much, just a couple of weeks suspension starting Monday, that's why I'm in today, tidying up some loose ends"
"Ohk, what are your plans for your two weeks off?" I ask, hoping it involves a little visit
"I've actually got a lot of things that I've been putting off so I wanna get some of that done and I told my mother the other day so she wants me to go to Italy but I don't think I will" she states and her voice changes to proper etiquette whenever she talks about her mother and I laugh "whats so funny?"
"I just forgot how you go all daughter of an Ambassador whenever you talk about your mother" I hear her laugh and it fills my whole body "Do you know if you'll make it over for Henry's birthday? I get it if you can't, it's a long way to come just for a birthday. I'm sure he'll be happy just to see you on Skype" I said, knowing she would try her best to be here but if she has 2 weeks off now she might not be able to get time off for his birthday
"I hope to be there. He asked me the other day and I've already missed a few big things. So are you feeling any better?" I could hear the sadness in her voice and I knew the reason why she changed subject, she loves Henry so much and she hates letting him down
"Yea I'm a lot better, sure it's only been a few days but my ribs are better, my legs are still sore from the electric shocks and I've still got bruises around my wrists but mentally I'm pretty good, I don't think it will all hit me until Will takes Henry and I'm all on my own but I'm hoping I see the psychologist before then and work through some of it. I know the nightmares will come but while I'm snuggling up to Henry at night they are keeping at bay" I tell her the truth because she's the only one who knows what I've truly been through.
"Aw that's my little man, did he bring you breakfast in bed? You know because breakfast in bed is way better than breakfast at the table" she laughs
"Yes I did hear about that, we had cereal, after he went and got my pain meds and a glass of water. I think he remembers what to do from when you got shot in the shoulder and we looked after you"
"Oh yea, I actually forgot about that" she laughs
"Who forgets about getting shot?"
"Puh-lease who remembers a through and through? It's not very memorable, just a few stitches and a couple of weeks in a sling" we laugh and talk for a while longer and I realise this is the longest we had talked in almost 2 years and my laughter died down as I spaced out for a bit
"You alright Jay?" she asks, concern filling her voice
"What? Oh yea, just spaced out for a second." I said, trying for my voice not to be filled with too much emotion and there was silence on the other end
"How come you never told me about Will?" she blurts out and I stutter for a moment
"Um, well, I.. hmm.. I don't know. I did try a couple of times but you would ask about Henry before I got the chance. I'm not blaming you or anything, really I could've just text you but I didn't. I don't really know why I didn't tell you but I have now isn't that all that matters?" I sigh, I knew this would come back and bite me but I hope she would understand
"How long?"
"Um, 9 months. I know I should've told you sooner but I didn't even tell Penelope until about 5 months ago." I hope she could hear the regret in my voice, hear how sorry I am that I didn't tell her sooner.
"Oh ok. How did you go coping with the break up?" I smiled, of course she would wonder how I am more than holding a grudge
"Actually pretty well. He moved into a place a few streets away so he can be close in case I got called to a case in the middle of the night and I usually have Henry during the week and Will has him on the weekend and when I go away. The separating with Will part didn't really hurt or anything, we actually get along better now we are just friends and aren't pretending to be in love and I think Henry is happier without the tension around the house" I say, knowing that it is what we both wanted actually helped in the matter
"Well I guess that's good. As long as you're happy"
"I'm not completely happy, don't think I really have been for 7 years" I whisper into the phone and I hear her sigh "sorry, I know I shouldn't have gone there"
"No it's ok. I don't think I have either. Where did we go wrong Jen?" I could hear the emotion in her voice and tears started to well up in my eyes
"I don't know, I guess we took a break then life got in the way and before you think I'm blaming you for that you know I'm not, you know I agreed to it. I know it took us a while to become friends again and the I thought we might've been getting somewhere the night Pen was in the hospital but then I had to go and shoot Battle and I couldn't really deal with everyone hovering and that time I pushed you away. Then that incident happened and everything went downhill from there. The only thing I don't regret about that year is getting pregnant" I had thought about this a lot over the past 9 months
"Yea, do you know how much I wish I had never gone out that night? That I had just gone home after dinner with my mother" I could hear her crying now
"Yea I think I might" I sobbed as the memory flashed through my mind
**Flashback**
"Come on Jayje, let's go out tonight" Garcia came rushing into my office
"Nah, I'm not really up to it tonight, don't you have plans with Kevin?" I ask, sitting back in my chair and stretching. All I want to do is go home, pour a glass of wine and watch something stupid on tv
"Nah, he had to go home for the weekend, his cousins birthday or something"
"How come you didn't go with?" I ask, they had been dating for a few months now, who would've thought getting shot would lead to a perfect relationship
"It's too soon for meeting the family so lets go out, we haven't been out in months" she was practically begging now and I think she's just lonely after spending nearly all her time with Kevin lately
"Who else is going?" I ask, I don't really want to go out if Emily is. We had finally been getting along enough to flirt a little and the odd touch here and there, I even told her I could see her with kids but in my mind it was me and her with kids I just didn't say it. I didn't want to blow the last few months of whatever we were now by getting drunk and saying or doing something stupid either to or in front of her.
"Morgan and Reid, Rossi has a date and Hotch wants to see Jack and Emily said something about dinner with her mother, you think that would require a drink" she joked and I laughed, it was true Ambassador Prentiss was one scary lady
"That's true, after anything with that lady requires more than one drink. Alright I'm in, meet at your place around 9?" she squealed then nodded and ran out of the room
6 hours later we had rocked up at this new club Morgan had wanted to try out after having pre drinks at Penelope's. We grabbed a table and while he went to get us a round of drinks Reid started spitting out facts about nightclubs and Pen and I just nodded along not really listening. When Morgan came back we sat around drinking and laughing and I spent a bit of time looking around the bar, working where we work you tend to take in your surroundings. The club was pretty big, we sat at table at one end of a bar that went for about 20 meters, at the other end was more tables and a bit further up was a dance floor and then some stairs that went up to a second floor that had another bar and a few couches and more tables. After a few more drinks, Morgan had gotten up to dance and Reid had found some people to talk Doctor Who with it was just Pen and I sitting at the table doing a few shots she had gotten.
"Bathroom break sweetness, let's go" she grabbed my arm and we started walking around looking for one. After finally finding one and spending another 5 minutes of her doing touch ups of her makeup we walk out and I stop dead in my tracks, pushing someone up against the bar, tongue down a red heads throat was Emily. I felt my heart break and all I wanted to do was run but my legs wouldn't move, Garcia saw and was trying to pull me along but I stood still as a statue. Emily was still dressed up in what I'm guessing she wore to dinner and the woman she was with was dressed up as well, I knew I was staring but I couldn't turn away, they had stopped kissing now and the woman had whispered something in Emily's ear that made her laugh, a laugh that I use to give her, and was running her arm up and down Emily's side and had her thigh pressed between her legs
"Come on Jay, let's just go somewhere else" Pen said still trying to pull me along
"She said she wanted a break because of Strauss but I guess it was just me she didn't want" I cried and at that moment the woman said something to Emily and her demeanour changed and grabbed her hand pulling her towards us but stopped dead in her tracks
"Jennifer" she gasped
"No you don't get to call me that anymore" I turned around and ran off, out of the club, heading towards Garcia's apartment just around the corner when someone grabbed my arm and I turned around thinking it was Penelope but came face to face with Emily
"Jen-"
"JJ" I snapped and pulled my arm out of her grasp and started walking away from her
"JJ wait, it's not what you think" she begged
"Not what I think? You had her pressed against her bar, tongue down her throat and probably ready to go screw her in the bathroom if you didn't see me. Also guessing by the way you are both dressed she went with you. Look I get it Em, you don't want to be with me, I just wish you didn't have to make up some bullshit about it being because of Strauss and for the team and what not" I turned around and started walking off
"That's not it at all. I still love you Jennifer, I think I always will"
"Don't, don't say that" I turn around crying my eyes out and I can see Reid Morgan and Garica standing behind her "If you love me you wouldn't be with someone else, you would've come to me"
"That woman back there is Serena" she says like its suppose to clarify everything
"Your ex? Like that's supposed to make it better" I scoff
"She's good at these dinners with my mother, she likes her and with Serena there it takes the attention off me. We just decided to get one drink after and before I knew it one thing turned into another. I didn't mean for any of this to happen" she had started crying but I couldn't deal with it
"Just, leave me alone Emily, you broke me and I'm not sure if my heart can be fixed, just fuck off back to your woman back there" I yelled at her and her demeanour changed to anger
"Like you can talk Jareau, I saw you last weekend with Detective Crawfish laughing and flirting and touching, bit hypocritical much" she spat at me
"He's a friend, he was in town and wanted to catch up so fucking sue me" I yelled back at her, realising it was her I thought I saw when we went to the movies that weekend
"Please, I saw the way he was looking at you and how you were flirting with him"
"I was being friendly, I'm sorry if your jealousy makes you think you see things but I don't get with people when I'm patiently waiting for someone else. I just guess I was waiting for no reason. See you at work Agent Prentiss" I turned at started walking back to Garcia's, I could hear the others talking to Emily then I heard Garcia's heels clicking behind me then felt her standing next to me but I just kept my head down and ignored all my feelings, time to take a page out of Emilys book and shut off my heart when it concerned her, it hurt too much.
**End Flashback**
"You told me to go after Will two days after that" I said "I only did because it was you that told me to, if it was anyone else I wouldn't have but you said it and I did because it hurt too much" I cried
"I know, I was stupid. But if I didn't then you wouldn't have Henry" she said like she was trying to reason it out.
"I know, things went down from there. Will moved up here and you moved on with your life"
"I never moved on Jen, I just had to accept what I had done. That was until you had Henry and I couldn't stay away" I could hear her smile, she would stay over on the nights that Will would work and was a babysitter whenever we needed one.
"Yea, I've been telling him about us" I said, hoping she wouldn't be mad
"Yea I know, he told me" she laughed
"Really? What did he say?" I was shocked, hoping he didn't know it was her
"That you're telling him a story about how you fell for a beautiful woman, he seems pretty enthralled in it. Where bouts are you up to?"
"I just finished telling him about our first date, I'm just going to skip over everything until Paris, things got better from there" I smile
"Until you got married" she whispered then quickly stopped talking, I think she didn't realise she had said it out loud "shit"
"No that's ok, it's true but I'm not married anymore Em, I'm free and single and I know what I want"
"And what's that?" I could hear a bit of curiosity and hope in her voice
"You Em, it's always been you" I take a breath, I just did the thing I've been wanting to do for the past 9 months and put all my feelings out there and all I got back was silence until I heard some muffled voices and Emily started talking to someone else
"I'm so sorry Jennifer but some shits hit the fan here, I need to go but we're not finished talking ok" my heart drops a little but I knew this could happen when calling her at work "oh and Jennifer, same" I smile just as she hangs up and I do a little happy dance and walk back inside to everyone nearly passed out in the living room, it's then that I notice it's nearly 1 am and I had been talking to Emily for nearly 3 hours. I pull a blanket over Garcia and Morgan then climb up the stairs to the bedroom and find Henry asleep in my bed, I change and climb in next to him and cuddle up to him, falling asleep with a big smile on my face.