A/N: You didn't think the night was over yet, did you? ;) Anyway, this is a long one and it contains mention of an abusive relationship (possible trigger warning).

It wasn't even half an hour later when the door to Regina's bedroom opened and the silhouette of Emma Swan stood in the doorway. Regina looked at her, surprised to find Emma wearing only a tank top and briefs. She worked her jawmuscles in a desperate attempt to tell Emma to leave her bedroom.

"May I come in?" Emma's small voice came from the door and Regina wondered if she would go away if she pretended to be asleep. But Emma just stood there and after a minute of it, her feet started to rub each other in an attempt to keep warm.

"Come in," Regina whispered and Emma slipped into the room. She closed the door behind her and walked to the bed, not quite as gingerly as she probably had hoped but without falling down, either.

Regina sighed before she pushed herself up off her side of the bed to make room for the blonde. She lay back down on her stomach on the cooler side, pulling the pillow under her head, not once looking away from Emma as the sheriff slipped under the warm covers. Emma mimicked Regina's position on her stomach but lay her hand between them. Regina lay hers next to Emma's, only their pinkies touched.

"Have you been thinking about what David said at the fair?" Emma asked after a while and to Regina's surprise.

"I have been thinking of little else. That's why I'm still awake at..." she lifted her head to look past Emma at her alarm. "2.30 in the morning."

"Should I talk to him? Tell him...," but she wasn't sure what she should tell David. To back off, maybe?

"I do want to help, Emma. If there's a way I can... undo what I've done, I want to do it. It's just..."

"He should have talked to you first, give you the heads up. It was stupid of him to do it like that," Emma said and she sounded angry at her dad.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it to be as intimidating as it was... for me," Regina said.

"That's just so... Prince Charming. He thinks he's got a sway over these people, with his smile and boyishness. But he forgets that these people are not just... fairy tale characters who hang on his every word, they're also the people who live in this town and... he underestimates their anger and frustration. It could have become dangerous. I'll have to talk to him," Emma argued and was surprised when Regina didn't fight her on this.

"Thank you for understanding," the dark-haired woman whispered and her pinky ran lightly over Emma's.

"I was scared, too," Emma admitted.

"Is that why you were drinking tonight?"

"Dad was pretty... obnoxious about it all. People were slapping his shoulder and mom gave him a kiss. You can probably imagine it and... I just went to find Ruby and we got good and drunk," she said that last part proudly and grinned into the darkness.

"Mhhhh," Regina made and buried her face in her pillow.

"Don't you ever just let go, madam Mayor?" Emma asked and watched Regina turn her head back to her.

"Of course, I do. But I make sure that nobody sees me at those times," she told Emma.

The sheriff seemed to be contemplating this.

"I would like to watch you let go some day," she said her eyes penetrating the darkness and staring into Regina's. "I want to... touch you so bad."

"Emma," Regina breathed the name into the small space between them and Emma lifted herself up to close it, to take Regina into her arms, to kiss her but Regina held her hand up. She laid it on Emma's shoulder, feeling the muscles jump under her touch. "Please, don't try to... seduce me tonight," she asked of the blonde.

"Why not?" The question came out raspy and breathless.

"Because I won't be able to say no," Regina answered just as breathless, just as wanting as Emma. "And then tomorrow I will be a bitch to you and... I don't want to be a bitch."

Emma took a deep, trembling breath and lay back down on the bed. She took Regina's hand from her shoulder and laid it back down on the matress between them, placing her own just beside it.

"Okay," she said.

Minutes passed as Emma tried to slow down her heart beat, make herself not reach out to Regina and pull her close. She wanted her. She knew she could blame it all on the alcohol or on Ruby teasing her earlier tonight. The waitress had grinned at her in a knowing way all evening and told her to go straight home tonight, no detours by big houses... and all Emma had thought about was to walk right here, to the mansion and see Regina. And it was all about that, about the dark-haired beauty she couldn't stop thinking about.

"Will you tell me something?" Emma heard herself asking just to keep from thinking about... what she had thought about all evening.

"All my secrets?" Regina teased and smiled.

"Just one tonight," Emma answered.

"Which one?"

"The one about you and another woman...," the blonde said and felt her blood shoot from her body to her head and make her light-headed. She hadn't known she would say this, it hadn't been constantly on her mind since Regina had told her about it. But it had been at the back of her mind, it had conjured up pictures of Regina and a... voluptuous redhead... a feisty blonde... a dark and mysterious brunette, all on different days but about the same time - when Emma was lying in bed, unable to sleep at night.

"Do you think that's... wise? I..." Regina licked her lips looking up at Emma through long lashes.

Emma just barely suppressed a moan at the sight but she knew that Regina wasn't doing it on purpose this time. She was actually being... shy.

"I'll behave myself if you do," Emma promised with an easy smile. Regina answered it.

"All right, but it's not... it's not an altogether nice story, Emma. I was married when I... was with another woman. Married to your grandfather," the former queen reminded Emma.

"I sometimes forget about that. I mean, I've never met him," Emma said.

"I can never forget about him." Her voice sounded sad, at the same time angry and... full of pain.

"If you don't want to talk about..."

"It's okay. I already agreed to tell you. But I have to... tell you a little about my marriage first so you'll understand."

Emma nodded in the semi-darkness they both could see through at this point and look at each other.

"I was very unhappily married. I guess that's no surprise... you know the fairy tale and you know about Daniel... You have to understand that Leopold was a much loved man, among his subjects, his peers and, of course, by his daughter. But I hated him... more than I have even words for." Regina closed her eyes for a moment, just breathing as she felt some of the feelings she'd had for Snow White's father coming back to her. "He was good to his people, he was a good father when he was around. I don't know if he was a good husband to his first wife but then... I'm sure he ever considered me more than... his possession, his whore."

Emma let her hand slide over Regina's then turned it around so that their palms touched. She entwined their fingers and Regina squeezed hers tightly.

"I was barely 18 when we married, he was 56... much older... and not really good looking. His first wife had been younger, I was much younger and he... enjoyed my company... often in our first year of marriage. When I wouldn't get pregnant and... my doctor told him that I was... barren... he still visited me... but he was... not gentle anymore. I became even less of a woman to him because I couldn't be a mother."

"I'm so sorry," Emma whispered. She had tears in her eyes but by the detemined set of her jaw Regina could see that she was not just sad, she was angry, too.

"You know what I did, don't you? I had your grandfather killed," Regina said very slowly, very deliberately and without remorse.

"He wasn't my grandfather, Regina. If I'd been there and known what he did to you I would've..." but Regina silenced Emma with a finger to her lips.

"Shhh, you would never kill anyone, much less someone who meant so much to your mother," she said and Emma knew she was right. But she was so angry at the man.

"I hate him," she said with a pout and Regina smiled.

"Don't tell your mom that, though. I think she has a right to the memories of her father, just as I have a right to mine and my hatred for him."

Emma nodded.

"Now... there were always entertainers coming to the castle. Musicians, clowns, actors. She was one of a group of travelling actors, her father was... their leader, so to speak. They came to a town, a castle and asked if they could play for the people. These actors were very good. If Shakespeare had been known there, they would have performed his plays," Regina told Emma of a world so different from the one they now lived in. "She wasn't a beauty, really, but she was a great actress. Young and vivacious, full of life. You just couldn't look away from her. Leopold, he loved all things theatrical, the costumes, the drama... and often enough some pretty young thing with half the talent of... Sandrine, that was her name. I had never enjoyed plays much, they usually bored me. But even I was... enchanted by her... as was Leopold."

Emma's brows rose at this.

"I know," Regina agreed. "But it didn't turn out as dramatic as you might think. As I said, she wasn't really a beauty. She had strong features, a square jaw, big teeth and a lot of them. She had the most brilliant laugh. She also had dark blue eyes and beautiful brown hair, also a lot of it," Regina remembered and there was such a wistfulness in her tone, a yearning almost, that Emma felt her chest tighten in a sudden attack of... jealousy. She squeezed Regina's hand unconsciously.

"Emma?" the dark-haired woman asked.

"What?"

"You alright?"

"Did you love her?" the blonde asked and felt stupid the next moment. She knew that she wouldn't have asked this if she had been sober but drunken Emma had no such restrictions and she'd wanted to know.

"No... or... no. But I had a crush on her. It was the first time I had felt anything like that since Daniel died... it confused me but I let it happen. I was so lonely."

Emma nodded but wasn't really reassured. Her chest still felt tight but she losened her grip on Regina's hand and let her continue. She had, after all, asked for this secret.

"As I said, Leopold liked her but only as long as she was on stage. She lost all her magic to him when he saw her without her costume and make-up. She wasn't pretty enough for him. But I found her... wonderfully refreshing when she sat next to me at the dinner table. We talked... for a long time after dinner... everybody else excused themselves. I'm not even sure who Leopold spend the night with and I was usually very observant after whom he left a... party, gathering. These things weren't especially formal, a little like... you see in movies about romans, when they were just sitting around settees eating grapes - without the grapes... we were there after everyone else had left. A single servant girl remained and I told her to go to bed. It was late, we didn't need anything more..."

Regina paused at this point. She was aware of Emma's rapt attention, the light touch of her fingers around her own.

"Sandrine surprised me. I had just told the servant girl to leave us, the door wasn't even closed yet, when she took my face in her hands and... kissed me. When I say I was surprised then I was surprised at her timing, her... abandon. not at what she did because I knew... deep inside, I knew that it would happen. If we were happening to be alone together - which was in no way a sure thing, it was actually rather surprising considering I was a married woman and she had a protective father and three brothers she travelled with - I knew we would... kiss, at least. And kissing was really the least we did," she said, blushing lightly.

"You're not gonna let me hang there, right?" Emma asked quietly and Regina laughed.

"Are you asking for details, sheriff Swan?" she asked teasingly.

"You bet I do," Emma gave back seriously, staring into Regina's eyes.

"It was... passionate. I've never felt so overwhelmed, so needy, so... aroused."

Emma closed her eyes, her breath ragged.

"It was different from when I was with Daniel," she heard Regina say and opened her eyes again. "He had been... loving, tender. and it had been beautiful, like a fairy tale. I felt loved... with Sandrine, it was different. I felt wanted but not oppressed. There was only passion, not love, but need and want... and she was sooo good at it!" Regina exclaimed and then clamped her mouth shut.

Emma grinned at the blushing mayor who listened to any sound that might be coming from beyond her bedroom door. But all was quiet.

"You've got to be really quiet," Emma teased her.

"Stop it, you," Regina warned and laughed into her pillow. She looked back at Emma smiling.

The blonde unclasped their hands and pushed a strand of hair from Regina's face.

"You're so beautiful when you're laughing," she said, her hand lingering and caressing Regina's cheek.

"You promised not to seduce me, remember?" Regina asked in a low voice.

"I remember. I'm gullible when I'm drunk," she added and grinned. But she also took her hand away from Regina's face and laid it back into the brunette's. "Did you ever see her... Sandrine again?" she asked after a while.

Regina shook her head.

"Distances were pretty far in the Enchanted Forest and they travelled by foot. Years would pass before you watched the same company of actors again, unless they had a place of their own in some city or were employed at a court. When the actors came the next time years later, her father told me that Sandrine had died a couple of years prior of pneumonia... which could, of course, mean any number of things. Not that pneumonia was unlikely given their way of life but it was also a ready-made lie. She could have run away and her father might have been ashamed of the circumstances... which would mean that it involved a young man or a young woman she ran away with. I'd like to think that she did. She could also have died in childbirth, again, unmarried... I don't know what happened but I never saw her again. We had one night but it was... perfect."

Regina smiled into the dark.

"And you've never found... another woman you wanted to be with?" Emma asked in a small voice. She didn't want to be needy and jealous but she also couldn't fight it. She wanted to have that kind of perfect night... but not just once. She wanted it every night... and that realisation took her breath away.

It couldn't be, could it? It was only an attraction, they wanted each other. It couldn't possibly be that... Emma was in love?

Emma closed her eyes but then she felt a hand on her face.

"You know there's at least one other woman like that," Regina said as Emma's eyes blinked open.

"But you won't let me have you," Emma argued.

"Because it could hurt more than it might... satisfy us. We could hurt our son... your family and friends. It could... ruin your chances to be with... Neal or Hook or whoever you might want to be with in the future."

"Or it might simply make us very happy... for one night, or... two...," Emma said but felt her throat close over what she really wanted. One night, two nights weren't nearly enough for her.

"I... I'm not ready for that," Regina said with a note of desperation in her voice that neither woman could explain or interpret. It left them silent for a long moment.

"Tell me about your first time," the mayor asked of Emma breaking the silence.

"You wanna hear about me and Neal?" Emma asked.

"No, your first time with a woman, sheriff," Regina said with an small smile. She knew that Emma was just teasing, trying to lighted the mood. And it worked.

"My first time of many with a woman... I see," the blonde mused.

"How many exactly?"

"Are you jealous?"

"No, I thought I just give you the chance to impress me with your sexual prowess," Regina gave back chuckling.

"It was millions, actually, but who's counting," Emma said in the same light tone and they lay there giggling for awhile. "No, there were a couple of women... I... it wasn't like it was for you with Sandrine. It was never perfect. It was just sex."

Regina didn't say anything to this, even though Emma waited for her to comment on this confession. After a short while, Emma continued.

"You might think that it happened when I was in jail but... it didn't. Jail was... rough but I got through it without...," she broke off and shook her head. "Not that kind of story, sorry," she finally said and grinned.

Regina looked at her seriously and for a moment she just looked back, feeling secure and... liked if not loved.

"I was 23 and working for a P.I. in Texas. He was an ass, mostly, but it was relatively easy and good money. And I got to... work on some angerment issues. Most of the job was scoping out cheating spouses and there was this one woman... Georgia Sykes, she was... a tall redhead, very sophisticated but kinda cold. She hired us to find out if her husband was cheating. There were ominous payments on one of the credit cards. But Mr. Sykes wasn't cheating, not at the time, at least. He visited strip clubs a lot... also illegal gambling venues where scantilly clad women served drinks. And he looked... a lot and lost a lot of money, too. I guess it was only a matter of time until he would... pay another woman for sex but he hadn't as of yet. So I went over to their suburban house to tell her. She was... emotionless about what my boss and I had found out. That's the best way to describe it."

Emma made a pause, remembering.

"Well, I thought that maybe the lack of emotion was just an act. Sometimes these women just waited for the husbands to come home and go all psycho on their asses, you know. And he had lost a lot of money gambling, after all. So I stayed a little, talked to her. To be honest, I was intrigued by her. She was... attractive, in her late thirties... reserved, kinda untouchable. She told me that she had hoped that he would cheat on her so that she could... do something, you know. Divorce him, probably, or just yell at him, get emotional. She wanted to see if him cheating and her knowing would... make her care. She didn't care about the strip clubs, that was obvious. And they obviously could manage without the money... but she was unhappy..."

"A desperate housewife?" Regina asked into a pause that Emma made.

"Yeah, I guess you could put it that way. It was a mistake, of course... but we talked and I.. I felt like I owed her... those emotions she was seeking. She started talking about her sex life, about a college experience she'd had with another woman. And she told it in... excrutiating detail... and before I knew it I was lying on top of her, my hand up her skirt... fucking her."

Emma looked unblinkingly into Regina's eyes.

"That's all it was," Emma said.

"Are you looking for a reaction?"

"You could at least pretend that it affects you in some way," Emma gave back and there was a noticable pout in her voice.

"Do you think that imagining you... doing another woman leaves me cold?"

"I can't tell," Emma answered honestly.

"It doesn't," Regina simply said.

"For most of my life, I had sex with people. The only person I've been with and loved was Neal and that was a long time ago..."

"And can you see how that might give me pause?"

"You didn't have a problem with it when it was Graham," Emma said.

"No, I didn't because it was all I needed then," Regina admitted.

"What is it you need now?"

"I don't even know but... I think it might not just be sex. Or maybe it is... maybe it is with someone I don't care about. I care about you, Emma."

"The bottom line is we're never gonna do it, right?" Emma asked not even registering what Regina had said to her.

"That's the bottom line," Regina confirmed.

They lay in silence for a while, thinking about this, thinking about things to say to this.

"Isn't this the moment where you tell me what I'll be missing?"

Emma shook her head.

"I want you but I'm not gonna talk you into it. If you want to sleep with me you'll have to come to me now," Emma told Regina who looked back at her surprised.

"I hear you," she then acknowledged Emma's words. "We should probably go to sleep."

Emma nodded.

"Goodnight, Emma," Regina whispered into the night and leaned forward, pressing a kiss on the other woman's lips.

It was more than a simple goodnight kiss but it was less than both women wanted and when Regina pulled away Emma followed, ready to recapture those elusive lips. But once again there was a raised hand that stopped her.

"Goodnight," Regina repeated and then turned onto her side, away from the blonde who once again had to reign in her emotions and her wildly beating heart.

She lay down, looking at the pyjama-clad back of the mayor, her dark hair. She could smell the residue of the shampoo she used, could feel the radiating heat from her body. And she could feel the soft fabric of her pyjamas where her hand touched Regina's back.

"Goodnight, Regina," she whispered into the darkness before she closed her eyes to sleep.