Chapter 2
I feel like I've been hit in the chest, all the air gone whooshing out of me. Did Venus really just say my name? Slowly – that seems to be the theme of today, I note distractedly – my family turns to look at me. My mother lets out a shriek.
"Now, Hope, le's calm down. See who Rue's par'ner is," my father says calmly. This is one of his talents. The ability to sail calmly through a crisis and break down later is one I've often wished I have.
"Yes…" I hear myself say. We turn back to the screen just in time.
"And our male tribute iiiis… Thresh Osser!" No one I know. "All right, District Eleven, I'll see you tomorrow! And don't forget, if you got the letter to be in the square at noon exactly! See you there!" She's so enthusiastic. The seal of Panem shines briefly then the screen – and the lights – go black. My father opens the window and a bright square of sunlight falls across my front.
I take a deep breath, ready to comfort my family and assure them I'll come home. Instead, I burst into tears. My mother holds me against her and my father rubs my back. My siblings gather around anxiously and try to comfort me. They have hardly ever seen me cry.
"Rue? Whassa matter?" Jordyn says. He doesn't understand.
"Oh – oh – oh," I sob. "Oh, Jordy, I – I – oh – oh."
I command myself to stop crying. My tears gradually stop, and I sit up, brushing my hair out of my face.
"Jordy, I – hic – I'm in the – hic – in the – hic hic hic." I've got the hiccups. For some reason I find this funny, and start laughing hysterically. Everyone stares at me, is even more funny, and my stomach starts to hurt from all the hiccuping and laughing.
"What? You're in the what?" Jordyn says.
"In the Hunger Games," my father says after a pause where it's clear I'm in no state to answer. "Your sister is a tribu' in the Hunger Games."
Somehow, him saying that makes it more real. I stop laughing.
I have always had mixed feelings about the Pre-Reaping. On one hand, this way the tributes have a chance to get used to the idea, pull themselves together, and enjoy a last night together with their family. They – we – I – aren't shocked when their name is pulled, and can appear strong. But on the other hand, it's a whole nother day to think about their – our – my – fate.
After I calmed myself down, I decided I wanted to be alone. I went to my room, telling my family not to follow, and curled up in my bed. I realize with a start that tonight will be the last night I sleep in it. Even if I win, we'll move to the Victor's Village. I'm not sure how I feel about that either. I kind of like this house. It's cozy, it's home. But the Victor's Village is 100% nicer.
First things first, Rue, I tell myself. Winning the Games is first. Then you can worry about your house. I have to decide my strategy. Just after I rest. I think I'm in shock. I'm so tired…
When I wake up, it's sunset. I've slept the day away. Stupid! You've wasted a whole day! A whole day you could have been deciding your strategy for the Opening Ceremony and the training and the interviews and the Games! I scold myself.
Not knowing what else to do, I stumble toward the kitchen. I'm suddenly anxious for company. Just before I enter, the sound of crying registers. I hang back. I don't want to interrupt.
"Sh-she promised! She p-p-promised me it wasn't her!" Breeze.
"Honey, you know she couldn' promise tha'. She was soothin' you. She didn' know – she couldn' of. Bu' i' was such a small chance, she fel' safe." My father. "She." Already, I was "she." As if saying my name was too much pain to bear.
An unexpected anger surges through me. I'm not dead yet! I haven't given up! Not like them. They've given up on me, think I have no chance. That might be true, but they should support me. Oh – "they." I've done the same thing. As if I'm already in the Capitol, the arena.
I take a deep breath to steel myself, then walk into the kitchen. My father and siblings are sitting at the table while my mother cooks dinner. Everyone's eyes are red-rimmed. Father has his arm around Breeze, who is crying, her nose running.
"Father says you're going away. Don' goway! Don' goway!" Jordy rushes up and clings to my leg. I pick him up.
"I have to. I don't want to. But… you'll see me on the television," I tell him, my voice surprisingly steady.
"I more want to see you here," he wails, then buries his face in my neck.
"Aww, Jordy…I'm sorry. I can't help it." He is so sweet.
"Dinner's almost ready. Go wash up, everyone!" my mother says with false cheerfulness.
When we return from the bathroom, Mother has dinner on the table. Beef stew. My favorite.
"Where did you get the beef?" I ask.
"I went into the merchant area and bought it," Mother says.
"It's good," I say, smiling, and take another sip.
We eat the rest of the meal in silence.
After dinner, Mother asks me what I want to do. I reply that I want to sing all our favorite songs. Mist Rolling Off The Mountain, Fruit Pickers' Tune, Sweet Lily. And my very favorite.
The water is wide, yet I must go
Oh would that I had wings to fly
Give me a boat that will carry two
Then both may go, my love and I
.
Oh love is strong, and love is fine
And love is gold, while it still is new
Yet when love grows old, then it will grow cold
And fade away like the morning dew
.
A ship that sails out on the sea
Is loaded deep, deep as she can be
Yet not so deep as the love I'm in
I know not if I sink or swim
A/N: So, what do you guy think so far? Please leave a review and let me know! I'll try and update again this weekend.