CHAPTER TEN
I made it to my room, closing the door as fast as possible. I slide down the wall next to the door, my tears flowing freely. This is why good things like perfectly great men, never happen for you Bella. The second a man takes an interest you find some way to sabotage it and run away.
Edward arrived he instantly began knocking on my door and calling my name. "Bella? Please open the door. Bella?"
"Please go away, Edward," I whispered. The knocking instantly stopped. He turned the knob and pushed the door open slowly. Note to self be sure to lock the door next time, dumbass. He took in the sight of me sitting against the wall crying. Edward closed the door behind him, I felt him sit down on the carpet beside me.
"I really suck at this whole date thing, huh?" Edward asked.
"What? No, you were perfect. Everything was perfect..." I trailed off.
"Oh, it was so perfect you had to get away because you were afraid of it becoming more perfect?" He raised his voice at the end to let me know he was trying to make light of the situation.
"God, Edward I'm a mess, you don't want to date this. There are so many things wrong with this equation; I don't know if there will ever be a right answer. There are so many potentially negative outcomes and in every single one of them I get screwed."
"So… you went with the one where I get screwed. Bella, you just said potentially negative, would you care to explain what about us has you worried. I've already told you that I would not ruin your career; you have my word on that. So what else is there?"
"Well for one, if people found out about us, they would think I was sleeping my way to the top. Everyone would think it was just a normal thing for you but for me, it could be a career ender. I would be just another Hollywood whore. What little respect I managed to make for myself would be negated."
"Ok…" he began but I cut him off and continued. "Also we have only known each other for a short time, I don't know if I can jump right into a relationship. I've never really been in a serious relationship. I don't know what I'm doing, half the time my inner monologue just spews out all these insecurities that usually cause me to make a fool of myself." I took a brief breath and forged on, "Then what happens if I really start to fall for you and you just end up breaking my heart, I have had to go through so much and I can't stand the idea of losing you because I have really come to value you as a friend and well….you just have all this power to crush me."
"Bella, I wish you could read my mind. I wish you could feel my heart and know my intentions are good. But I will do my best to try and make you feel better about your doubts concerning a relationship with me. If it makes you feel better we can keep this under wraps as long as it takes for you to feel comfortable however I ask that we at least tell our housemates. Would that be fair?"
"Yeah, I guess I can handle Emmett's teasing as long as he swears not to say a word at work," I acquiesced.
"I'll talk to Emmett, he won't be a problem. Now onto the time issue, I know we haven't known each other for very long so we can take this slow. If it makes you feel better you can even continue seeing other people while we date so that you don't feel suffocated."
"Really Edward? Who am I going to go out with?" I said drained.
"The option is open to you. Now onto the whole Edward is planning on breaking my heart insecurity."
"I don't think you are planning on breaking my heart, geez Edward I do think you have a heart."
He started to say some form of rebuttal but then stopped. Edward thought for a moment and then persisted. "There are things about me that someday you will learn some things you may not like but there is one thing I wish I could tell you now. I won't tell you now because I don't think you are ready and it would hold no meaning to you at this point. If you knew this one thing and truly understood it, you would not be worried about my hopes for us and our future."
Wow, I'll take "vague statements" for a thousand Alex.
"And I won't kiss you again until you ask me, it seems like every time I do it causes a negative reaction. You're really starting to bruise my ego over here."
"No, the kissing is fine. I like the kissing you can kiss me whenever you like," I said a tad too eager.
"I don't know Bella, I think I'll just have to wait, I wouldn't want there to be mixed signals." He got up and went to pull me up with him. "I think it's time for bed, we may not have an early call time but I think tonight's events have overwhelmed madam for the evening."
I sat back down on the bed he placed his hand on my cheek and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me when he leaned down bringing his luscious lips to my ear and whispered, "Goodnight Bella, sweet dreams are for the sweethearts." He turned around and closed my door behind him as he went.
It had been a week since we had gone on our date and Edward just like he had promised was taking everything really slow. So slow that in fact he had not even touched me or kissed me or really even talked to me since that night. Edward did manage to tell Alice, Emmett, and Jasper about our little relationship if that's what you would call it. And true to his word, Emmett had yet to actually tease me about it although there was this one moment that we were in the car together and I guess you could sense the tension between Edward and myself because Emmett had no problem stating, "Wow you guys are the most awkward dating couple ever."
Surprisingly Alice had not said a thing to me, although I would catch her smiling at me like she was just waiting to burst with whatever tips or advice she had. And we could always count on Jasper, just going on with life uninterrupted with our dating drama.
Of course, work continued on like normal and we both did our best to focus on our jobs. At least that's what I kept telling myself since Edward hadn't held a conversation with me in over a week and I could really start to feel myself missing him. I had tried a couple of times to joke around with him, but he always seemed more focus on whatever it was he was doing at the moment to pay me any attention. I guess I deserved it, most famous people don't have a lot of patience and instead of saying something they will just move on to the next thing. Apparently, Edward had moved on from this whole notion of dating, and I could already feel my heart breaking for the loss of my friend.
I really started feeling lonely, what was one week of silence turned into two. Even though I had filming to occupy my days, my focus was on Edward and our once budding friendship. Being on set stopped holding the allure it once had and I was slowly becoming a shell of the person I was. I finally had enough one afternoon so I decided to go against his little proposition and completely ignore the nap guideline. I was sure he wouldn't even notice it seemed like he didn't notice much these days. However, come three o'clock a production assistant was sent to summon me to Edwards's trailer.
"Bella? Mr. Cullen says that you need to see him. He's in his trailer." I had been hand sewing a button on for Magda.
"Thank you, but can you tell Mr. Cullen that I will be unable to fulfill his request at the moment. I happen to be in the middle of something." I refocused on the button, although I didn't miss the somewhat surprised look on poor Kenny's face. Kenny retreated. I smiled to myself proud that I managed to stand up to him.
Kenny returned five minutes later, "Bella Mr. Cullen said that it is of the utmost importance that you come to his trailer and he added that if you value your job you will do as you're told."
That had me seeing red. I carefully put the needle and thread down and walked out with my head high. If Mr. Cullen thought he could threaten me after the way he had been treating me he was sorely mistaken.
I pulled open the door to his trailer and let it slam behind me, if I were a cartoon there would have been steam coming out of my ears. He looked up from the table a note pad in front of him.
"You summoned me, sir," I spit out.
"You can watch your attitude, Isabella." His words were sharp and I could tell I wasn't the only one pissed off right now. But I wasn't going to back down. Always being the absolute professional I was,
"My apologies your majesty, whatever can I do to help make your life improved. I live to serve."
Alright, maybe not professional but it did get his attention.
"What is the matter with you?" he asked.
"What's the matter with me? What's the matter with you? Edward, why aren't you talking to me anymore?"
"I talk to you all the time just this morning I asked if you wanted breakfast," He snapped.
"You know what I mean."
"Bella you asked me to take this slow that's what I'm doing I'm taking it slow," He said frustrated
"Yeah, I said take it slow not completely stop… you know what never mind it doesn't matter." I turned to walk away. I was fighting the tears, damn them for betraying me at every turn.
"No finish what you were going to say," He said harshly.
I stood there just staring my back turned to him he was really starting to piss me off. I mean he was the one who wanted a relationship and now he just made me feel like I was…
"Bella," He said softly right behind me.
"Just forget it." I opened the trailer door and walked out. I needed to get away from the set all I wanted to do was just go to my room and sleep away this feeling.
I went to the train station and with the help of a nice English-speaking Italian woman, I found the quickest way to Lake Bracciano. It was only a half hour trip but I decided that the smart thing to do was to at least text Edward to let him know I wasn't feeling well and was leaving early for the day. I turned my phone off quickly; I didn't have the courage to see what he would text back.
I arrived at the little train station and began the long walk home. The train station was a couple of miles away from the house so it gave me some time to think. I didn't have to walk far when James came riding up on his Moped.
"Bella! How are you beautiful?" He said with a big smile on his face. I instantly smiled at him, now here was a man who was always happy to see me and made me feel happy as well.
"James, I'm great. How are you? I'm sorry about the club incident I must have had too much to drink I didn't mean to bail on you." He gave me a weird look but quickly replaced it with a smile on his face.
"That's ok. I'm just glad you're here now. Would you like a ride?"
"Yes, thank you. That would be great." He handed me the spare helmet and I hopped on the back of the bike. He drove us to the gelato place where we first met, helping me down from the Moped.
"Bella I feel partly responsible for the negative experience you had at the club that night, if you would allow me the pleasure of making it up to you, I would like to cook you dinner at my house this evening."
Oh god, what should I do?
"I'd like that, if you give me your address I can be there around, seven?"
"That sounds perfect." James wrote down his address, kissed me on the cheek and took off.
I don't know why I was suddenly nervous, it's not like Edward and I were exclusive, hell we weren't even dating. I arrived home sooner than I had anticipated thanks to my knight on shining Moped. As soon as I opened the door Alice was right there with the phone.
"Yes, she just got here." She held her hand over the receiver and whispered harshly, "Bella what were you thinking?" she continued to talk into the phone to who I assumed was Edward. "Ok sure no problem, see you soon." She hung up.
"Well?"
"You know what Alice, I have had a really long bad day, so if you'll please excuse me I like to go up to my room and rest for a minute." I walked past her heading toward the steps.
"You know he really does care about you," She called after me.
I quickly turned back to her, "Well you know what he has a really funny way of showing it."
"You asked him to take it slow."
"I asked him to take it slow, not to stop talking to me completely. Why does everyone feel this is my fault? Please just leave me alone." I stomped up the stairs slamming my bedroom door behind me. I couldn't focus on anyone at the moment, so I decided the best thing to do was to get ready for my date.
After a much need shower, I blow dried my hair and put on the dress I would be wearing that evening. I heard Edwards car pullup, but I continued to focus on my makeup. It wasn't two seconds later when Edward burst through my bedroom door.
"Excuse me, haven't you heard of knocking? What if I had been naked for god's sakes?"
"Have you lost your damn mind?" he yelled.
"Have you lost yours barreling in here like a damn bull in a china shop?"
"Bella you have crossed the line. What were you thinking, going home by yourself?" he said.
"Gee, I was thinking Bella; you are grown woman who is intelligent enough to find a way home without the need for supervision. I was thinking, Edward has done everything in his power to piss you off and the best thing for everyone is if you left and went to cool down far away," I huffed. "Look if it makes you feel better the train wasn't that hard to navigate and I was lucky enough that a friend picked me up from the station and brought me into town."
That got his attention.
"Who picked you up?" he was staring at me like the next words coming out of my mouth would determine the course of mankind.
"James," I all the sudden got nervous, "He invited me over to his place for dinner tonight, and I've accepted."
"No. Absolutely not. I forbid it."
Now that just pissed me off.
"You don't have a say on whom I date. You have no claim over me; I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and with whomever, I want," I spit out those words with venom.
"Bella you are not going."
I turned back around and continued getting ready.
"You remember that night at the club when you were so plastered you would allow any man in a five-mile radius to feel you up."
I looked at him with my mouth hanging open trying to form words.
"Yes that night, the same night James was pouring drinks down your throat. There was a reason he never made it back to the dance floor, I saw him at the bar buying you another drink but this one he added a fine white powder to it."
Ok, now I was confused.
"He was planning to drug you until I put a stop to it. I grabbed him by the collar and told him that if he ever came near you again, I would make sure to rip his dick off."
Edward looked absolutely lethal. But I couldn't allow myself to believe his words; I mean why keep something like that from me.
"I can't believe you did that? No wonder he looked uneasy to talk to me today. You had no right, Edward."
"Are you fucking kidding me right now Bella? I just told you that the man was planning on raping you and you're mad at me?"
"You probably don't even know what you saw. I know the bar in there and I know where you were sitting there is an absolute possibility that your mind concocted this elaborate story because you just don't like the guy. James has been nothing but nice to me."
"I can't believe your naïvety." He ran his hands through his hair in disbelief.
"Yeah well, I can't believe your absurdity." I grabbed my jacket.
"Don't wait up for me." I walked out of the room refusing to look back.
I heard him say, "Please don't do this, Bella."
Looking back I wish I would have listened.
AN: Thank you for reading and reviewing.
STORY IS MINE. CHARACTERS BELONG TO STEPHENIE MEYER.