Emma was already in her bedroom, tearing at the bottons of her shirt and slipping out of those goddamned slacks, when she remembered that it was Tuesday evening, and that she had been supposed to take Henry home that night.

"Damn, damn, damn... that woman!" she ground out and started searching for her phone in her pants pockets. She found it and dialled Henry's extension but there was no answer.

"Come on, pick up, kid. I'm sorry," she said into the device even thought there was no one to hear her. She finally hung up and contemplated her next steps. She could dress and walk back over, it wasn't that far. But she seemed to lose all her energy at the mere thought of it. She lay down on her bed in her underwear and stared at her phone, at the icons - one of them showed her Henry's face, another her sheriff's badge. Those were the two lines of communication she always wanted to keep open and now one of them didn't answer.

Emma sighed.

She opened her phone directory and skipped to 'M' finding 'Mayor Mills' just under 'Mary Margaret.' She had saved these contacts after she'd first come to Storybrooke and she had never bothered to change them... into 'Regina' and 'Mom' or 'Snow.' And there were no pictures next to them, either, just their names, their numbers.

Emma tapped at the display and held the phone to her ear. It seemed to take half an eternity for the call to get picked up but it finally was.

"Was there something else you needed, sheriff Swan?" the snide voice came over the line and Emma was clenching her jaw to keep from answering in the same fashion.

"I tried to call Henry, I... was supposed to take him home tonight and I... forgot. Now he's not answering. Would you tell him that... I'm sorry and that I'll pick him up before school tomorrow? Please," she added.

The other end of the line remained suspiciously silent but Emma could hear Regina breathing.

"Regina?"

"We've made quite a mess of this, haven't we?"

Emma could have argued that it was mostly Regina who'd made the mess but she felt too emotional right now to be even sure that this was true. Maybe she had been pushing too hard, maybe they did indeed need a time-out, some space to overthink all of this.

"Yeah, we have," she answered instead.

"I will tell him."

"Tell him... I love him, okay?" Emma asked of Regina.

"I'm sure he knows that... but I will."

"Good," and then there was another prolonged silence but neither woman was disconnecting the line.

"I meant to ask," Emma said after a while. "how did your conversation with Belle go?"

"It was... difficult. She's quite broken," Regina said slowly, thoughfully. "I asked her about the library and she didn't... seem to respond at all. I was surprised she even let me in, to be honest. And then she asked me... she asked about Daniel..."

"That... that must have been hard," Emma said.

"I thought so, too, at first but... I guess she needed to hear that it gets... better. It was easier to talk about him than it's ever been," the mayor said but she sounded a little sad.

"Are you still missing him?" Emma found herself asking and closed her eyes unsure of whether she wanted to have an answer.

"I will always miss him, Emma. But..." she stopped. "He would want me to be happy," she said after a longer pause.

Emma contemplated this but felt unable to respond. What was she supposed to say? That she wanted for Regina to be happy, too? That she wanted to make her happy? She didn't quite feel that happiness was in their cards right now, she felt that whether they were together or not, it wouldn't make them entirely happy. There were too many obstacles... it wasn't wise at all to even want to be together, much less even considering it.

"Do you think that it helped Belle?" she finally asked.

"I'm not sure. I want to think there was some life in her eyes by the time I left but... maybe that was just me wanting it to be there."

"Well, I hope you got through to her. Ruby was pretty hopeless when we last talked about Belle. She wants us to... find a way to cross realms so that Belle would be able to... travel, have some adventures. She wants her to get out of here so that she wouldn't be reminded of Gold everywhere," Emma told Regina.

"Does that mean that Miss Lucas wants me to help? That she wants me to have access to Rumple's shop?"

"Yes, that's what it means. She'd do anything to help Belle," the blonde said.

"I see," Regina said after a short moment.

"Do you?" Emma asked.

"She loves her, doesn't she? Like a friend AND a lover," Regina surmised but only silence was her answer. "I'm not surprised and I'd wish for Belle's sake that... she could be able to... receive that love."

"It will take her a long time to... get over Gold."

"If she ever does, but then...," but Regina stopped herself once again.

"What?"

"I'm... not sure she'll have to."

Regina couldn't see it but she suspected that Emma was frowning right now and she was right. The sheriff looked at her phone questioningly.

"What are you taking about?"

"You can't repeat this to anyone, it's... just a hunch I have but... I think it's possible that... Rumple and Pan aren't dead," she finally said.

"What! How do you... why..."

"I told you, it's just a hunch but... think about it: they're such powerful men, their magic... endured for hundreds of years. I can't imagine it or them just dying. It doesn't make sense to me," Regina argued.

"But the dagger," Emma gave back.

"I know. It was supposed to kill the Dark One but... as far as I know, no Dark One ever attempted to kill themselves, not to mention another powerful... magical creature at the same time. It could have failed, there were no bodies."

"You didn't tell Belle that, did you?"

"No, of course not. It would be cruel to make her hope... I should know," Regina said.

"Have you... done anything to... confirm your suspicion?" Emma then asked.

"I'm not sure how to do that. There might be something in the shop that could... help but I'm not even sure about that."

"Would you want to... look for him, Gold, if you could?"

"That's a good question and I'm not sure. He's Henry's grandfather... Belle is lost without him. I might do it for them... but I wouldn't want them to know. On the other hand, Rumple might be even better equipped to help everyone get home. He was, after all, the one who created the curse that brought us here."

Emma contemplated this and then she noticed something else: they were talking. Just talking. It felt so natural to be doing this, even at this hour and with her lying in her underwear on her bed, and them both being frustrated with their own situation. And yet they were still able to talk. Emma smiled at this realization, she thought it was a good sign.

"He might be able to help, but what about Pan? Would we be bringing him back, too?"

"We? I thought this was something I was maybe able to do."

"Don't you want help?" Emma asked.

"I might need it... but there's still the possibility that we might fail... or that I'm wrong. Maybe they are dead," she contemplated.

"I have an inkling we're going to find out... together."

"Yes, we probably will," Regina said once again thoughtful.

They were quiet for another while listening to the other woman breathe, to the rustling of sheets, to whatever sounds they were making or not making. And they felt comfortable. But Emma also detected a sense of... longing and loneliness in herself she'd never known, not even in those first weeks after she'd gone to jail or after she'd given up Henry. Maybe it was different because she had thought that she wouldn't see either Neal or Henry again but she knew she would see Regina... she would see her and not be able to... be with her. The realization seemed to rip her heart right out of her chest and she barely kept from moaning at the sudden sensation. She closed her eyes tightly and clamped her mouth shut but her breath now came rapidly through her nose.

"Emma? Are you alright?" Regina asked.

"I... I miss you already," the blonde managed to utter through welling tears.

For a moment it was quiet on the other end, Emma couldn't even hear Regina breathing and she thought she'd hung up on her. But then the slightly raspy voice came back to her:

"I miss you, too. I wish... there was a way to solve this without... hurting each other or ourselves, I do. But... you're the savior and I'm the Evil Queen. We're not meant to be."

"And yet it hurts to not be together. How is that possible?"

"I don't know, Emma. I wish I did... I wish...," but then she didn't and maybe it was better this way because all magic came at a price. Wishing might make it so but who knew what they would have to pay for a wish that would change their world?

"I'll see you at the council meeting on Friday," Regina said next and after another long pause.

"Yeah, I'll see you there. Don't forget to tell Henry..."

"I'll do it right now," Regina assured her and then disconnected the line.

Emma lay the hand with her telephone between her breasts, for a moment just breathing. The pain in her chest seemed to dull to a throbbing ache. She felt empty and yet full of feelings and emotions and pain. And she couldn't help knowing that this was not how it was supposed to be. But was there even such a things as fate? Did it create her for Regina and Regina for her? Or was this all coincidence, were their feelings just picked out of thin air and did they just need to stop... feeling!

Emma wished she knew how this was supposed to work. Love... possibly even True Love... or lust... no, not just lust. It was love - seemingly unwanted... but not unrequited because she was sure that Regina felt it, too.

Before Emma went to bed that night, she went down to the living room and retrieved a photo from the mantle. It was the photo Regina had given her as house-warming gift, the one of Regina and Henry. She placed it on her nightstand and she looked at it until she fell asleep.

When Regina left city hall on Thursday evening, she took a moment to breathe. It was a lusty night, the smell of spring was all around her but there was something more than that. Breathing had become incredibly important these last few days. Deep, even breaths to calm her heart. Because it was hurting, and then it was burning and she needed to cool it, beating wildly and she needed to calm it. Deep, even breaths helped - for a moment.

Regina walked to her car and didn't even see the plastic bag hanging from the side mirror at the driver's door until she had pulled out her key. She looked around herself, seeing if anyone was watching her.

Who would...? But she knew who would leave her something by her car. Someone who hadn't come near her for the last 48 hours.

Regina pulled the bag from her mirror and got inside the car before she opened it. It took considerable patience to even wait that long but she had to be alone, she knew. There was a note inside, and an ipod.

'A while ago, I came by the mansion and saw you through the window. You were listening to music and you seemed so wrapped up and content. There are some songs on the ipod I thought you might like. You probably think me sentimental, and some of the songs are. Others are danceable. But mostly, they are songs that make me think of you.'

The note wasn't adressed and it wasn't signed but it didn't need to be. There was only one person in this town who would care enough, only one person who would watch her through a window - though Regina felt that she should probably talk to Emma about that.

Regina sighed.

They hadn't talked, not even on the phone. They hadn't texted and only seen each other from afar. And it had been so hard. Receiving this, a present, a thoughtful gesture... was sweet. But it was also hard. Regina yearned for Emma, that was a simple truth. She wanted her, she felt she needed her. And by now, she was almost sure that she loved her.

'Almost,' she thought as she unravelled the headphones of the music player and put the buds into her ears. She smiled a comical smile. She knew better than to lie to herself. And as the first chords of her favorite song filled her ears, she sat back in her seat and just listened.

She listened for almost an hour before she finally started her car. She listened to songs that were romantic, and heartbreaking, and sentimental, maybe, and some were indeed danceable. But all were from Emma to her, and they had been chosen with care. They told a story of love... and desire. And they filled Regina anew with both for Emma.

A/N: I thought you might like to see that playlist. But fanfiction net makes it hard to post a link. If you go on my tumblr - cardenio tumblr com (there are supposed to be dots between those words) - you can find it there. At the moment, it's the latest post... easy to find. If not use the search on my blog, type in 'playlist' and it should be the only post.

As an explanation (or an excuse): I took these songs from my favorites and I'm kinda old school. Some 70s, 80s, 90s stuff among more recent songs. You may disagree. I'm sure you have your own favorites, your own perfect swan queen songs... these remind me of them. And I am VERY sentimental.