Justice League: The Borderlands Saga
Chapter 5: Out ofthe Fridge and into the Jungle
"geez, whoever called this junk heap The Fridge wasn't kidding" Axton shivered
"oh quit your whining, will you? We're almost outta here" Black Mask said when Batman came across an odd sight: a psycho dressed in an absolutely mediocre rakk costume. But the real kicker? His name: Rakkman
"Axton, please kill this imposter" Batman growled, showing his immense hatred for imposters
"you don't have to tell me twice" Axton said, letting a few rounds loose into Rakkman's head
"gee, that was quick" Huntress commented as the heroes entered the Highlands
"wow… this is very beautiful. I actually take back everything bad I said about Pandora" Kara said cheerfully
"really?" Maya asked, when the mood suddenly shifted as a monstrous stalker eyed Kara hungrily, Kara suddenly switching from her childish side into her savage, kamakrazee bestial mode
"…just kidding" Kara giggled before squashing the beast with a mallet and chewing up it's remains
"boy, if that doesn't scream mood swings, then I don't know what else does" Green Arrow quipped
"keep it up and you'll get smacked as well" Kara threatened, before burping loudly and wiping the stalker's blood off on Claptrap
"gee, THANKS" Claptrap said in disgust
"well, isn't this lovely? More frigging robots" Black Mask said sarcastically as they were greeted by a massive wave of loaders with a Constructor 2.0 in the front
"uh… Clayface? Would you care to do the honors?" Maya asked, the giant cracking his knuckles in excitement
"it'd be my pleasure" Clayface grinned, before letting out a savage war cry and started trashing the loaders and constructor until there was nothing but junk
"what the hey is this?" Huntress asked, opening a box, only to scream in horror
"what? What is… oh my god!" Green Arrow gasped as the heroes found Handsome Jack's dismembered, decomposed and disarmed carcass inside the box
"…well serves him right. To be fair, he WAS kind of an asshole" Alex admitted
"yeah. These stalkers look hungry. Let's feed 'em" Kara chimed in, feeding the carcass to the beasts
"…so much for a proper burial or cremation" Batman deadpanned
"hey! You there! Stop and we'll shoot you" a Hyperion official ordered
"uh… not to be rude, but don't you mean OR we'll shoot you" Kara asked politely, all guns trained at her
"oops" Kara said meekly as she felt a sneeze coming on
"ah…ah…AAHCHOOO" Kara sneezed, the blast of the sneeze destroying all Hyperion security and robots all over the Highlands
"…damn" Axton said in amazement
"Excuse me" Kara said sheepishly, blowing her nose with a Kleenex
"...how in the hell did she DO that?" Maya asked Hippolyta
"well, my dear, that's for me to know, and for YOU to find out" Hippolyta said, patting Maya's head gently
"oh son of a Grodd!" Nightwing cursed in annoyance
"what's the situation now?" Nisha asked
"apparently we can't reach Sanctuary 'cuz it isn't installed into the damn Fast Travel!" Nightwing griped
"hmmm… that IS a bit problematic" Hippolyta remarked
"I got it! We can grab that moonshot uplink beacon thingy from that Hyperion outlook over there!" Kara suggested
"Buttercup, that's a great idea!" Alex cheered
"yeah, sure, let's listen to the little blonde girl who instead of burying our enemy fed him to a bunch of weird animals!" Red Hood griped
"Jason, do you wanna go home or do you wanna remain here hunted by vicious near psychotic bandit murderers?" Huntress asked
"ok, ok, I'll shut up" Red Hood sighed
"look! There it is!" Kara said excitedly only to gulp as the beacon then got swallowed by a gluttonous thresher
"I got this" Kara said confidently, then communicated to the creature in its native tongue. The thresher obediently nodded its head and spat out the beacon, covering the heroes with thresher saliva and mucus
"Ewwwww! This is WAY worse than getting covered in slag! Ugh, and now my clothes are RUINED!" Maya complained
"don't worry dear, when we get home, we'll all take some nice warm showers" Hippolyta said kindly
"oof…this thing is really heavy… like Batman's stick up his ass" Red Hood complained
"I HEARD THAT" Batman snarled angrily, Axton separating the squabbling duo
"well, welcome to Overlook. I know its not much and that most of the people stay in their homes 'cuz they got the shivers, but… it'll do for now" Mordecai chimed through their ECHO
"ok, it'll take a few secs or so to have the request approved" Red Hood said, installing the beacon with an impenetrable defense grid
A few secs later…
The Leaguers and Vault Hunters were sound asleep snoring loudly when the Fast Travel Station landed right on the head of a Badass Loader
"hmmm? Is…is that donuts?" Kara asked, half-asleep when she beamed up after seeing the Fast Travel
"ok, come on, let's go!" Red Hood said excitedly, getting in front of the Leaguers
"Jason, be careful! We don't wanna pick the wrong…." Maya said when all of a sudden, everyone landed smackdab in a murky jungle swamplike land
"….location" Maya finished as everyone glared at Jason
"so…where the hell are we?" Athena asked curiously
"I suppose this is some kind of jungle or something" Robin spoke
"what ho, fellow travelers! How fortuitous you decided to join me in my big game hunt! Together we shall trail, examine and bag these ravenous beasts! Come meet me at my cave, would you?" Sir Hammerlock asked chipperly over the ECHO
"oh great, THAT guy again. Well, let's get outta here" Red Hood said when the Fast Travel went on hold
"I think we're not supposed to leave…wherever we are until this big game hunt is done" Batwoman said
"oh joy. So we fell out of Pandora and landed smackdab into this smelly mud pit of trees, wild bugs and… there's something right behind me, isn't there?" Booster asked nervously as a giant borok was salivating over him
"…time to run" Kara squeaked as she let out a bloodcurdling scream of terror as everyone ran for their lives, being chased by the angry wildlife and even more ticked off natives
"Run, run, run, run!" Flash panted, as everyone dodged spears and darts and the like as they all jumped off a peak and landed in a damp cavern
"ah! Salutations, my friends! How goes the mission to retake Pandora?" Sir Hammerlock asked
"well, we WERE gonna head to Sanctuary when SOMEONE got a little trigger happy with the Fast Travel and sent us here instead" Huntress deadpanned
"oh, I'm sincerely sorry about that. Rest assured, once all is said and done on Egres, I'll calibrate the Fast Travel to Sanctuary where you shall be there in no time" Sir Hammerlock promised
"ok, deal" Kara said, shaking Hammerlock's metal hand
"ah, you must be Kara! Roland's been telling me quite a lot about you. If only Pandora had more gentle, loving and pure hearted people like you" Hammerlock said kindly
"so… what are we hunting, Mr. Hammerlock? Those really scary things that were chasing us?" Dinah asked
"precisely, my dear girl. But first, we need to clear my cabin out of these wild natives. Apparently since Handsome Jack died, they formed a cult of sorts and took the idea of wearing masks of Jack's face" Hammerlock explained
"that is kinda scary" Alex admitted
"well no time to dilly dally. Off we go" Hammerlock said
"a hunting we will go, a hunting we will go, high-ho, the derry-o, a hunting we will…" Kara chanted cheerfully until she saw the glare Batman gave her
"Stop…singing" Batman growled venomously
"okays" Kara said, smiling innocently, the Dark Knight rolling his eyes
…
"yeah, that's right, you ugly ass sons of bitches! Get the hell outta our cabin! And if you come back here again, I got a 12-gauge buckshot with all your names on it!" Black Mask hollered as the natives cowered away in fear
"wow! What a nice bed" Kara said excitedly, jumping up and down on a mahogany twin bed
"give her a few minutes…" Alex said to Maya as Kara immediately ceased jumping and fell safely on the bed, sound asleep
"see? Told you" Alex said, gently covering Kara with the blanket
"is it my imagination or is it always raining in here?" Axton asked, as raindrops drip-dropped constantly on his head from above the ceiling
"to be quite honest, the weather here is more different than on Pandora, my boy" Hammerlock said
"great" Axton grumbled, putting on a bandana that resembles one of a certain guy named the Italian Stallion
"ok, we all get some sleep. Then tomorrow, we go hunting and get to Sanctuary and finish the mission" Huntress said, everyone nodding in agreement. If they looked out the window, they could've seen a very tiny, eccentric little man watching them