Summer of Learning – Chapter 7
My heart leapt straight into my throat as my stomach sank down to my feet. My mouth went dry and I could feel all the blood rush from my face. I fought to keep my composure, on the outside at least, looking into my mother's knowing eyes. She knew. She had figured it out about me and Sean. I was so screwed.
I followed my mom through the kitchen and into the walk-in pantry. I braced myself for what was sure to come next. She wouldn't yell; my mother seldom raised her voice, and when she did I knew I had crossed a major line. No, she would talk in that eerily calm voice of hers, letting her disappointment seep in and take hold in my heart until I couldn't stand it anymore and would cave, willing to do anything to keep that sad tone out of her words. She wouldn't accuse, she would wait for me to own up to my actions, to take responsibility.
The thing is, I didn't see what Sean and I were doing as being wrong; on the contrary, everything about being with Sean felt absolutely right. Maybe at first things were a little awkward because of the transformation of our relationship, from friends into something more, but we'd cleared that hurdle quickly, together, never to look back. Would my mother ever be able to see things my way? Something told me that was not likely to happen, at least not any time soon.
I could see it now: not only would she forbid me from seeing Sean again, but she would threaten to pull back any support she and my father were giving me for school, forcing me to move back home, living under lock and key. She would say I'd destroyed any trust between me and her, that I was too responsible to be making such outlandish decisions. She'd say she'd lost all faith in me, and it would kill me. Good-bye social life, hello hell.
We stood facing each other; I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eyes and kept my focus on the floor. Unfortunately, there was so escaping her...literally; she was blocking the way out of the pantry. I knew she was waiting for me to make eye contact; that was her tactic, to get me to open up instead of hounding me for the information she wanted. Reluctantly, I dragged my eyes away from the floor. Her expression was one I couldn't quite place. It was like something between sadness, anger, disappointment, and...something else...hopelessness, maybe?
"Oh, Morgan..." she began, shaking her head slowly. "The guy? The one you were just trying to figure things out with? The one who had you," she swallowed, "glowing?"
"Yeah?" I asked, not able to admit to anything just yet.
"It was Sean? This whole time?" she whispered. All I could do was nod my head, but just barely, my eyes falling to the floor again. "Oh, Morgan, what were you thinking?"
I shrugged. Any powers of speech I may have had at one time had completely abandoned me.
"Oh, no. Don't you start giving me the silent treatment now. How long?" she demanded, folding her arms over her chest.
I nervously played with my thumbnail, closely examining my fingers as they tied knots around each other. "Officially? About a week."
She arched an eyebrow and gave me a very motherly look. She wasn't buying it. "And unofficially?"
Oh...here it comes. She's going to kill me. "A couple weeks before I went to college?" I said nervously, my answer almost a question.
"WHAT?!"
"Mom, I can explain," I started, not quite sure exactly how I was going to do that.
Her clenched jaw showed that her patience was running thin. "I think you'd better start explaining."
A sudden thought came to me, "Do we have to do this now? With the party going on?" That's it. Appeal to her inner hostess, the side of her that never wanted to make a scene if it was avoidable.
She shook her head adamantly. "Nu-uh. You aren't getting out of this one that easy. Talk. Now."
I sighed and took a breath, trying to think of the perfect words. "He was over here for the bar-be-cue. I was up in my room freaking out about going to college. I was scared because I was so...inexperienced."
"So you slept with each other?" she hissed. I could see her jaw start to twitch. Shit she was really mad.
"No!" I replied, trying to keep my voice low. "Mom, up until then, I hadn't even kissed anyone and I was going to be living down the hall from guys. I wanted to go to college with at least some knowledge of what guys would be expecting. All we did was kiss, I swear." She seemed to relax a little. The problem was, I was a terrible liar, and she could see I wasn't telling the whole truth. She fixed me with a glare, narrowing her eyes at me until I cracked. "That's all we did that day, anyway."
I froze as she inhaled sharply, her eyes widening dangerously, and eventually pressed on, spilling the details she needed to know, avoiding anything too intimate. "I saw him again over four-day break. I needed advice about a guy I'd been seeing at school, and he helped me. But with Sean helping me, I realized I really liked him...a lot more than the guy I was already seeing. I broke it off with the other guy. Then last week, we...became official," I shrank back, hoping this simplified version of our story would be enough to calm her down and get her off my case.
It was my mom's turn to stare at the floor as she processed everything I had just told her. The waiting for her reaction was just as bad as having to divulge all of this to her. I felt I had let her down, but not once did I doubt any decision I had made. I decided I needed to tell her so.
"Mom, I love him. I know it's crazy and incredibly unconventional, but I do. He makes me really happy. We already know each other so well, and it just feels...right." Tears began to prick the back of my eyes. It felt wonderful to let this out, but it scared me to death at the same time. "I'm sorry if I'm a disappointment to you, but I don't think I could stop loving him if I tried."
When my mom finally looked up at me, her eyes were glassy with tears, much like my own. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm not disappointed. I'm incredibly concerned, and not just a little pissed at Sean. Your father and I have only ever wanted you to be happy. I'm just...are you absolutely sure about this?"
I nodded fervently, "Yes. I know it in my heart, mom. I love him."
She sighed, "I'm not going to try and tell you that you can't see each other. I know better than to even try to keep you two apart. You've always made good decisions, and we've trusted you so far. I just want to make sure you know what you're doing, what you're getting yourself into." She swallowed and lowered her voice, "You're being careful?"
Oh god...sex questions? I cringed, "Yes, mom. We're careful." Well, most of the time, but she didn't need to know that right now. "Are...are you going to tell dad?"
My mother breathed deeply, thinking her answer through. She rolled her eyes backward, looking up at the ceiling, almost as if she were praying for something. Guidance, perhaps. Her gaze returned to me, "I'm not going to go running to him and tell him, especially not tonight. I think he'd be pretty upset with you...and outright pissed at Sean. But if he asks, or if you two get caught, I'm not keeping anything from him."
I nodded, grateful for this small concession from her. I crossed over to her and gave her a tentative hug, hoping she wouldn't push me away. To my great relief, she pulled me in close. I fought hard not to cry on her shoulder. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course," she replied. I was suddenly very grateful we had such an open relationship...and that she wasn't screaming her head off at me.
"How did you know?"
She pushed me away gently to look at me. A half a smile crept over her face, "Your little stint beneath the mistletoe. You two were way too comfortable for that to be your first kiss. The way you couldn't take your eyes off each other afterwards, I just knew. I didn't know how involved you were, but I knew there was something going on." I nodded and blushed.
Just by that the pantry door opened and Sean burst in, surprising us both; his expression looked equally surprised. He was probably expecting a scene much, much worse. "Em, I can explain," he started, but mom cut him off.
"There's no need to. I've heard all I need to hear right now." She kept her cool, and Sean's shoulders slumped a little in relief. "That doesn't mean I'm happy with it, but you're both adults and there's not a lot I can do to stop you from seeing each other. I don't necessarily approve, but I'm not stupid enough to think I can do anything about it."
Sean and I shared a look, trying to rein in our excitement at the news that my mom was, for the most part, on board with all this, however unwillingly.
"But Sean, I swear to god, if this ends badly, if you hurt her, you will be facing a world of pain," my mother's voice had gone steely cold. She might be a tiny little woman, but she was a force to be reckoned with.
He took a small step toward me, reaching out for my hand, "Em, I swear. I would never, ever, do anything to hurt her. The only way I'm leaving her is if she wants me to go away. I love her." He faced me, "I love you."
"I love you, too," I said softly, wanting nothing more than to lose myself in his arms.
"Alright, that's enough," mom held her hands up and lowered her head, not wanting to look. I blushed and tried to look contrite. Sean had the good sense to follow suit. We dropped our hands and stood in silence.
"Hey, what's going on in here?" Oh god...now my dad had found us. Oh, please, please don't let mom tell him yet. He wrapped his arm around my mom's shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple, then looked at the two of us, clearly wondering why we were all gathered here in the pantry.
God bless my mom and her powers of improvisation, "We were running low on olives out on the condiment tray, but neither of us could reach the jar on the top shelf. Sean had just come in to get it down for me." Sean stared at her, just for a second, before reaching up to the shelf and grabbing the jar in question.
"Oh. Well, come on. Everyone wants you to sing O Holy Night. They're waiting for you," dad replied. "Come on, let's get back to the party." He shot a look over at me, "That's a really nice necklace, Morgan."
I fingered the charm hanging over my heart and smiled and blushed. "Thanks, dad. I just got it." Oh, please god, don't let him ask who gave it to me.
"Well, it's really pretty. It suits you. Now come on, back to the party," he laughingly commanded. Mom walked with him out to the living room.
"Holy shit, that was close," Sean murmured. "I thought I was a dead man."
"I told you they wouldn't kill you with so many witnesses out there," I teased.
The look on his face told me he wasn't kidding this time. "Seriously, Morgan. That was fucking close."
"I know it was, Sean. You didn't have to go through mom's mini-inquisition," I replied, then took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves before rejoining the party.
"Maybe we should cool it, ya know?" Sean suggested, his voice suddenly softer than before.
Fear gripped my heart; I gasped. "What?" I whispered. What the hell did he mean? My eyes filled with tears almost instantly. "You mean..." I began, but couldn't bring myself to say the words.
"No! God, Morgan no!" He cradled my head in his hands, his eyes never leaving mine. "I just told you and your mom I'm not going anywhere. I just mean while we're here at the party. Don't want to draw any more attention to ourselves," he kept his voice soft, and moved his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear.
Relief flooded my system. When my heart finally stopped beating in my throat, I nodded at him. "Yeah, you're probably right," I admitted. "We need to get back out there."
"Not until I do this," he mumbled as he lowered his lips to mine. Our kiss was brief, but still wonderful. Every kiss we shared was perfect and set my heart fluttering and my head spinning. I hated pulling away from him, but knew we needed to get out there before anyone got suspicious. I squeaked past him and walked through the kitchen, feeling his presence behind me. I gave him one more look as we made our way back into the living room and we went our separate ways, mingling with our friends.
The rest of the night I caught up with everyone, some of them friends I hadn't seen since last Christmas. I gave my almost rehearsed report on how all my classes were going, and no one seemed surprised that I was doing well in college. A few asked if I had met anyone special and I would blush and give a vague answer, telling them yes I had, and he made me really happy. If anyone asked if they'd ever get to meet him, I played innocent and maybe a little dumb, saying we'd just gotten together, and didn't want to rush anything.
If they were really paying attention, they would have seen that every time someone asked me about my "someone special," my eyes would drift over to glance at Sean. (Thank goodness for mom's spiked punch, keeping everyone just this side of drunk.) Every time I did so, his eyes would meet mine, no matter who he was talking to. Was he out right staring at me all night? The thought warmed my heart...and had certain other effects on me as well. Man, I couldn't wait for the party to be over so I could talk to him again. It was almost killing me to be in the same room with him and act as if he wasn't there, as if I didn't want to kiss him every time I our eyes met...as if I didn't want to pull him back into my bedroom.
As the night went on, and the party wound down, our guests said their well wishes for Christmas and Happy New Years and made their way back out into the cold and on their way home. Sean stayed later than anyone else, helping us to clean up despite my mother's protests. When he couldn't prolong the inevitable any more, he hugged my parents, my mother more understandably more hesitant than my father, before coming up to me and wrapping his arms around me. It wasn't the way he usually held me, but if he was trying to keep up appearances, especially for my mother, he was doing a good job of it. Just before he released me he whispered, "I'll call you in half an hour. Love you." He fished his keys out of his pocket and slipped out the front door.
I was suddenly grateful for the mood lighting mom had set for the party so my parents wouldn't see my blushing. I worked quickly with my mom to make sure all the food and drinks were put away, keeping one eye on the kitchen clock the whole time. After a good 20 minutes, I gave an exaggerated, but hopefully believable, yawn and announced I was going to bed. I did my best to keep up the pretense that I was tired as I trudged down the hall to my room and gently shut my door. Once inside my room, I tore my clothes off and put on my night shirt, leaving my necklace to rest between my breasts. I wasn't sure I was ever going to take it off. I plugged my cell phone charger in near my nightstand, making sure my phone wasn't going to run out of juice any time soon, then went to the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed. Just as I re-entered my room, my phone started buzzing on my pillow. I answered, "Hey."
"Hi baby. Some party, huh?"
"Ha, I'll say," I chuckled. "It was quite a night."
"It certainly was," he agreed. "Your mom seemed to take everything pretty well."
"Yeah, she did," I replied. "I asked if she was going to tell dad. She said she wouldn't hide it, but she wouldn't out right tell him either."
"That's a relief. Still…either we need to tell him, or he's going to find out. He's not stupid."
"I know, I know. I just don't know if he's going to be as…accepting as mom was tonight."
"Trust me, I read you loud and clear." A brief moment went by without either of us saying anything. "So…"
"Yes?"
"I'm thinking you just need to wear a skirt all the time."
"Oh really?" I asked, blushing a little.
"Well, I'd rather have you naked and in my bed, but you know, when we're out in public…"
"Sean!" I whispered loudly, hoping my parents couldn't hear me giggling.
"What? It's true."
"In your bed, huh?"
"That's where I want you. I told you, I can't get enough of you."
"The feeling is mutual, sir."
"Mmm…god I can't wait to see you again."
"I know…but I think mom and dad would notice if I suddenly disappeared Christmas Eve and Christmas Day."
He sighed heavily, "You know, I usually didn't mind being single at Christmas."
"Well, sorry for the inconvenience."
"No…that's not what I meant. I want you here with me. I hate hiding this…especially from my best friend."
"I know, baby. I know." God, I just wanted to hold him. He sounded so sad. He was silent for a moment. "Sean?"
His voice was low and husky in my ear, "Damn…"
"What?"
"I like it when you call me baby."
My breath caught in my throat. I smiled into the phone, "Oh really?"
"Mm-hmm. I like a lot of things you do."
"Is that so? Like what, if I may ask?"
"Like the way you're probably blushing right now." Dammit. How did he do that? "I like that you're sweet, and funny, and fucking smart as hell. I like that you're real."
"As opposed to all those imaginary girls running around," I teased.
"Shut up. You know what I mean. You don't put on any pretenses, you aren't fake." He paused, "Not to mention you're beautiful."
"Go on..."
"Greedy little thing, aren't you?"
"I just figured you were on a roll."
He chuckled, "See? That right there. You're so damn quick." He paused again, then said in a softer voice, "I love how you feel in my arms."
My heart flip-flopped in my chest. "That's my favorite place to be, you know."
"Me, too. Well...technically second favorite."
"Oh really? What's your first favorite?" My curiosity gets the better of me.
He chuckles, "Oh, I bet you can figure it out."
"Sean...tell me."
His voice drops to just above a whisper, "I love being buried deep inside you."
Oh my god. My breath catches in my throat and a shiver races down my spine.
"You okay over there?"
I swallow hard, "Mm-hmm." My voice has suddenly jumped up an octave or so.
"You in bed?"
"Yes..." I murmured softly.
"Wish I was there to keep you company."
"Mmm...me too."
"I'd hold you so close, feel your body up against mine..."
"Sean..."
"Run my hands up and down your sides...play with your perfect tits..."
"Sean, what are you doing?"
"Next best thing, darling. Want me to stop?"
"I didn't say that."
He chuckled again, "Good. I want you to play with your nipples."
"What?"
"Come on...play with them for me."
I rolled my eyes and fell onto my back, propping my phone between my shoulder and my ear. My hand slid under the bottom of my night shirt and slid up my torso and played with my nipples as he requested. "Okay," I breathed shakily.
"Both hands. I want you to squeeze your tits and then twist your nipples." I did as he asked, trying to control my breathing. His voice sounded so damn sexy in my ear. "I can hear you breathing heavier...good girl." I moaned very softly into the phone. How did he have this kind of power over me even when we were apart?
"Alright, baby...I want you to move one of your hands down over your tummy and slide into your panties."
"Sean...my parents are just down the hall."
"Then you better not make a fucking sound. Come on, Morgan. I want you to play with yourself."
"Well, what about you?"
"What about me?"
"Well...are you...?"
He laughed softly, "Don't you worry, I've got everything well in hand."
Oh my god. There was something undeniably sexy about the thought of Sean getting off just listening to me playing with myself. I took in a deep breath and trailed my fingertips from my breast, over my stomach, and under the elastic of my panties. "Alright."
"Alright, what?"
"I did what you asked me to do."
I could hear the smirk through the phone, "And just what is that?"
He was such a little shit sometimes. I humored him, "My hand is in my panties. What would you like me to do now?"
"Mmm...take one finger and just play along the outside of your sweet little pussy." I shifted a little and spread my legs, giving me a better angle to do as he wanted. I let out a soft moan to let him know I had done it. "Now take that finger and run it up and down between your lips."
"Sean..."
"Please, baby?"
My finger followed his instructions and I let out a breathy gasp. "Shh, sweetheart. Not a fucking sound. Now push your finger in deeper...deeper. Tell me what you feel."
Jeez, now I had to use words? I whispered, "I'm wet...warm...I want you here."
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"I want you to touch me, Sean."
"Is that all you want me to do?"
That was a stupid question. "No."
"Tell me what you want, Morgan."
"I want you, Sean. I want you so bad."
"I know, baby. I want you, too. Until then, I want you to keep playing with yourself. Touch your clit, baby." I did as he said, drawing tight circles around my sensitive pearl. I'd never touched myself before, never saw the appeal of it. Boy was I mistaken. My breath came in hard pants as my finger worked against my delicate flesh. "That's it, baby. Imagine me, licking your sweet pussy, teasing your clit. Move your finger down lower...then back to your clit...and back...and up.
"God dammit I want to fuck you."
All I could do was breathe into the phone. I was afraid to give any voice to the sensations coursing through my body. I could hear him huffing and puffing a little and imagined him jerking off the sounds of me playing with myself. God, this was so hot!
"Come on, Morgan. Cum for me. I want you to cum so hard."
I held my breath, as I had done earlier this evening. My breath rushed out in a whisper, "Oh Sean...oh my god..." before it caught in my throat, strangling a scream of intense pleasure as I climaxed. "Oh my god...oh my god..." was all I could get out as my orgasm coursed through me. I clenched my thighs together and ground my hips against my own hand. I heard his own growl of release from his end and smiled as I realized that even over the phone, we could get each other so worked up that we finished together.
My heart finally began to slow, my legs spread wide in relaxation.
"You okay over there?"
"Oh my god...Sean...that was..."
"I didn't just put myself out of a job, did I?"
I giggled softly, "Most definitely not. Nothing like the real thing, right? Still...that was...oh my god."
"Yeah...me too," he mumbled.
"I've never done anything like that before."
"Phone sex?"
"No...touch myself," I said, feeling myself blush in the dark at my confession.
"No shit? How'd you like it?"
"It was...good. I'd much rather be with you for the real thing, though."
"Me too, sweetheart. Me too. Soon, I promise."
I yawned, not able to contain myself.
"Did I wear you out?"
I giggled softly, "Something like that."
"Get some sleep, sweetheart. I'll talk to you soon, alright?"
"Mm...alright," I mumbled. Sleep was pulling me under very quickly.
"G'night, Morgan. I love you."
"Love you too, baby." I heard him hang up, put my phone on my night stand, and swiftly fell into a deep sleep.
I'm so sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. I felt I'd been neglecting Lady in Red for far too long, and then I just couldn't get these two going again. I hope I got her mom's reaction right - I wanted her to be kind of supportive, but not just accepting them no questions asked. And then, I couldn't just end it after they had their discussion - they were in the middle of a party, after all - and I couldn't just end it with Sean going home. The next thing I knew a 1300 word chapter exploded into 4500 words!
Thanks to Remi Savant, dixongurl and basswipe on tumblr for the kick in the butt to write this chapter. Also thanks to all of you wonderful people who have favorited, followed, and reviewed. It means the absolute world to me.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm not sure when the next chapter will come out, but I've already got an idea for it, so...at least there's that.