A/N: Hey, lovelies. Today is a good day for SwanQueen. Enjoy.
They drove in silence with Emma staring intently at the street ahead of them and Regina looking at Emma's stony face. The sheriff tried to ignore Regina but she felt her insides melt and at the same time her anger and impatience increased. She didn't need this, she didn't want this and she feared that it would always be like this from now on. That she would be angry all the time and starting to hate the other woman as much as she wanted her.
Emma pulled the bug into the mansion's driveway and was tempted to heave a sigh; breathing had become impossibly difficult these days.
"Well, that was a pleasant ride. We should do it again sometimes," Regina chirped and leaned over, kissing Emma on the cheek.
"Drop the act, Regina, I know you're not drunk." Emma sounded annoyed and she looked over at the brunette with cold eyes.
Regina already had her hand on the handle to the bug and Emma was sure she would just leave her sitting here but then the mayor leaned back, taking a deep breath.
"I could say I'm sorry, Emma, but I'm sure you won't believe me... and maybe I'm not. Manipulating people is what I do," she said but then she shook her head. She didn't want to act this way anymore, she didn't want to have to act at all.
"I... I can't let go of this..." She pointed between Emma and herself. "Not without having at least... talked about it. And I'm not leaving this car until we have," she added determindly.
Emma leaned her head back against the head rest and closed her eyes. She didn't want Regina to leave the car but did it always have to be this... aggravating between them? She wanted to talk, too. These last few days had been torturous because while she had known that Regina had killed Graham, she hadn't known why or... anything. And she needed to know Regina's side. At first it had seemed irrelevant because it was just wrong but now she needed to know because... she wanted to forgive Regina.
"Henry thinks we're in love," she heard herself say and Regina gasped.
"Did you tell him?"
"No, he... you said it, he picks things up pretty fast. He's angry with us but... well, mostly with me. I told him that you did something that I cannot forgive you," Emma explained the situation.
"You didn't tell him what it was?"
Emma shook her head and heard Regina sniff.
"I don't wanna lie to Henry but... well, after it happened he said that he thought you were responsible for Graham's death. I didn't want to... dig this up again."
"He thought I had... of course, he did. I'm the Evil Queen... I'll always be the Evil Queen," Regina said dabbing at her eyes but trying to put up an indignant front at the same time.
"You did these things, Regina. You're responsible," Emma said.
"I know that. And I'm not running from it... it's just harder to face the consequence when it could mean losing Henry again."
Emma nodded. She reached over and was about to take Regina's hand when she remembered that she wasn't her friend anymore, that they weren't doing the touching and talking-thing anymore. She pulled her hand back and folded her other hand around it.
"What else did you tell him?" Regina asked.
"That... we thought we had feelings for each other but... that we don't now. He doesn't buy it, though. He thinks we're in love."
"Is that why he's suddenly interested in camping? He wanted to get away... from both of us?"
Emma nodded.
"Yeah, I guess. He told me to fix this... but I can't."
"Because you hate me," Regina whispered.
"No, I... I can't hate you, although if we keep this up... I don't wanna play games, I don't want you to try and make me jealous because... I am jealous and then I'm angry with you for manipulating me and... Hook is a friend. Yes, he's sometimes very annoying with the flirting and all but I almost decked him tonight! I don't wanna be that person, Regina." Emma looked at the mayor with desperate eyes, her jaw set in an angry line.
"I needed to see you... I thought it was the only way," Regina said and maybe it was an apology, Emma wasn't sure. "I thought if you... had feelings for either one of us you would come."
"I don't have feelings for Hook, you know that."
"Does that mean you still have them for me?" Regina asked with a hopeful expression in her chocolaty brown eyes.
"I...," but Emma shook her head. "You wanted to talk about Graham," she finally reminded Regina, a frown settling between her eyes.
"Yes. I killed him, and you probably know by now how I did that."
"You crushed his heart... you know I can't believe... how do you even do such a thing? And why? Were you in love with him?" Emma rambled as turned towards Regina in her seat. They looked at each other and Emma could see the regret in the mayor's eyes.
"No, but... I wanted him to be in love with me." she admitted.
Emma looked at Regina questioningly but didn't say anything.
"Graham... he was good. You know, his alter ego, the huntsman, hadn't been. He was a killer but, still, when I sent him to... kill... Snow, he wouldn't do it. He looked past whatever he hated in people at something worthwhile - her sacrifice, perhaps. I wanted him to do the same for me. I wanted him to look past the Evil Queen and see...," she sighed. "The girl Daniel had loved. I wanted to know that she was still there and that somebody could still love her. But I was wrong, that girl is dead."
"Maybe he could have seen her if... you hadn't taken his heart," Emma argued.
"I took his heart because he failed to bring me Snow White's. I kept it because I knew he was the kind of man who would only give his heart to a very special woman, and I crushed it because he was about to fall for that special woman without even having a heart."
They looked at each other for a long moment while Regina's words registered in Emma's mind.
"Were you in love with him, Emma?" Regina asked and the words came out in a breathy whisper. She looked like she feared the answer, she looked like she didn't really want to know but Emma answered:
"No, but I think I could have fallen in love with him if I had known him better. There wasn't enough time."
"That's why you can't forgive me, because I... stole another person from you, someone you might have loved," Regina mused still in that low voice staring at her hands in her lap.
"I have no way of knowing if I'd have ended up with Graham, Regina. I liked him but... things were complicated even then. And I'm not sure I can't forgive you," Emma said.
"You would have loved him, he was your type." Regina said convinced.
"I have a type?"
"You don't know that? Bad boys who... are not really bad, just misguided," Regina explained but Emma shook her head. She looked at Regina wondering if she had even heard her say that she might forgive her.
Emma reached out her hand and cupped Regina's cheek. The mayor looked up at her in surprise as Emma pulled her closer.
"Right now, I'm only interested in one person... a bad woman who isn't really bad. I can see your heart, Regina. I know you regret and I know your love," she said and put her other hand over Regina's heart.
Regina looked at Emma longingly, her heart beating fast against Emma's hand..
They sat with their foreheads touching, once again just breathing each other in, relishing the closeness.
"Is this real?" Regina asked.
"I shouldn't have run away, Regina. I should have stayed and listened to you, and I'm sorry. I missed you so much," Emma whispered.
"You forgive me?"
"Yeah, I think I already have... and I feel bad toward Graham because... he was a good guy and I didn't believe him when he told me that he didn't have a heart... but nothing I feel toward him can make me... unlove you. I thought it would but it doesn't." Emma pushed forward a little, bringing their faces together and kissing Regina's cheek.
"You're not just saying this because of Henry, right? To fix things?"
"No, I... now that I think about it I'm so thrilled that he wants for us to be together but... I wouldn't set either one of you up for the heartache if I didn't love you, Regina. Do you hear me? I love you," Emma said.
"I love you," Regina answered and smiled. So did Emma.
"May I kiss you now?" she asked and Regina rolled her eyes at her.
"From now on you don't have to ask permission if you want to kiss me, okay?"
Emma answered by bringing their lips together in a heartachingly slow kiss. She seemed to just want to cherish the softness, the warmth, the love of them. But the slow burn of her love was soon enflamed by their passion and the kiss got positively fiery.
Emma was leaning far over Regina, pressing her into the door while trying to get around the gear shift of the bug. Regina finally pushed her away enough to breathlessly say:
"I'm not gonna have sex in this death trap, savior. Get me naked and into my bed."
It was a command and, for once, Emma was okay with it. She grinned at Regina.
"As you wish, my queen." She wanted to pull away to get out of the car but Regina held on until Emma was looking into her eyes again.
"I'm not your queen, Emma, I'm your woman. I don't want to be a queen ever again."
Emma smiled.
"Come on, woman, let's make love," she said and Regina laughed.
"Now, that sounds much better."
They were holding each other, revelling in the nakedness of their new relationship. Sweat was lingering on their bodies, their breathing still erratic.
Emma let her right hand glide over Regina's side, feeling the heat of her skin with just her fingertips.
"You feel amazing," she said
"I certainly do," Regina gave back with a wide smile. She nestled closer to Emma, laying her head in the crook of her arm, kissing the patches of skin she could reach from there.
"I'm cooling off. Do you think you could find one of the covers?"
Emma chuckled and turned away for a moment, reaching over the edge of the bed to retrieve a blanket.
"Here you go," she said as she wrapped them both in it.
"Hold me," Regina told her and Emma pulled her deeper into the cocoon of her body. Then she kissed her and once again all their surroundings seemed to fall away while their passions took over. They ignited so quickly and so completely that neither one seemed prepared in another way than that they had been doing this for hours now and just held onto each other. Their bodies rocked against each other in desperate need to be closer, their mouths hardly ever parted to even take breaths. Regina pulled Emma on top of her, her fingers digging into her shoulder blades.
There had never been love like this for her, not combined with the desperate need to touch and be touched, to feel Emma.
There had never been such an intesity of emotions for Emma, nor the desire to care and protect, and to give pleasure more than to receive it.
They spent their bodies, they shared their love, they came together and came again.
Regina held Emma's exhausted body to hers as they both struggled to return to normal breathing.
"How will I ever be able to get out of bed in the morning?" she wondered aloud and Emma chuckled.
"You could call in sick and... wait a second, who would you call if you were to call in sick? You don't even have a secretary."
"Well, I would call whoever I had the first appointment with tomo... today. If I'm not mistaken that's... Leroy at 9.30 a.m."
Emma lifted her head from Regina's chest and looked at the alarm clock.
"Not quite five hours from now. Maybe we should get some sleep. Or are you thinking of cancelling?" Emma asked with a hopeful smile.
"I would love to but Leroy has been pestering me for this appointment for over two weeks now. I'm loathe to put this off any longer, he's kind of my go-to-dwarf whenever anything around town needs quick and inexpensive repairing."
"What does he want to talk about?" Emma asked settling down on her former spot.
Regina's hands started to caress Emma's cheek and comb through her blond locks, eliciting a contented sigh from the sheriff.
"I'm not sure but if he's suggesting the erection of a Prince Charming statue in front of City Hall, I'm throwing him out of my office. Quick and inexpensive, or not," Regina answered with a wicked grin.
Emma laughed which turned out to be contagious and they had a hard time stopping.
"It wasn't even that funny," Regina said as they were both regaining control.
"No... I'm just so happy... honey," Emma said and seemed thoughtful about the nickname. "Sweetheart," she tried.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm trying to come up with a term of endearment that'll fit you... babe."
"Babe?" Regina raised an eyebrow at her lover.
"Sugar pie," Emma tried grinning.
"Now you're losing your mind."
"Don't you like nicknames?"
"I just barely keep from correcting you every time you call our son 'kid,' darling, I don't think..."
"Did you just call me 'darling'?" Emma interrupted Regina who looked puzzled for a moment.
"I think I did. But I've called you 'dear' before and believe me that wasn't meant as a term of endearment."
"Darling. I like it. You can call me that, little woman," Emma said.
"Call me that again and you're gonna end this night on the couch in the living room. And I'm not kidding," Regina gave back.
Emma pushed herself up on one arm, looking down at Regina.
"I called you 'woman' earlier and you seemed to like it. And... well, by the look and feel of you, you're just that. All woman..."
Emma let her free hand wander over the warm plains of Regina's luscious body.
"Would you resent me calling you that, woman?"
"You sound like some drunk in a bar pulling a barmaid into her lap," Regina said and Emma flashed her a smile that was curiously accompanied by a light blush. "It's crude but... just a little sexy," Regina said with a blush of her own.
"I love you, woman," Emma said and it wasn't just to hear how it sounded, she meant it with all her heart.
"And I love you, darling," Regina answered and they kissed.
"Hmmm," Emma sighed contentedly. "We're pretty good at this... establishing a relationship-thing."
"Apart from all the drama we've created around it," Regina reminded Emma.
"Yeah, that... I'm still so sorry for acting... like an ass. I told you to trust me and then... I let you down."
"I kind of... expected that reaction, maybe I even provoked it. I thought if I told you the worst... worst for you personally, that is, and you couldn't take it... then it would end before it really started. I didn't expect it to... hurt so much, though. I could hardly breathe these last few days," Regina admitted.
She pulled Emma closer and the blonde held her tight.
"I have another secret to share with you," Regina said after a while. She could feel Emma tense just a little in apprehension. "It isn't anything about me, nothing about my past." Regina told her and Emma relaxed again.
"Sorry, I just... I don't wanna lose you again. I think I can deal with your past... but only in small dosages. I know I sound like a coward but..."
"No, you don't. There are still things... that will shock you. We're probably going to fight over some of them. I just want you to know that I'm sorry... for most of them, at least. You know how I feel about Leopold's death and there are some things I've done I can't feel any remorse over because I feel they were justified. You won't think so... and I hope we can agree to disagree on some of those things." Regina looked up at Emma hopefully.
The sheriff nodded.
"Yeah, I hope so, too," she agreed. "So what's the secret you wanted to tell me?"
"When I talked to Hook tonight he said there might be something... as I understood it a device or artifact of some kind in Rumple's shop that could help us get everyone home. He wasn't sure Rumple had it but thought it was possible. That's as far as I got with him when we... were interrupted," she said with a meaningful look.
"So you weren't flirting with him to make me jealous, you tried to get information?"
"Oh, I wanted to make you jealous, darling. But it just so happened that the man has information to share. He offered me a partnership," Regina related.
"I might yet have to punch him. He wants to play pirate again, huh?"
"It seems that way. I don't know if he's actively planning on leaving everyone else behind but he wants to get out of Storybrooke and figures I'm his ticket."
Emma sighed.
"Why can't we all just get along?" she asked and Regina laughed. "Is that such a naive question?"
"We're human, Emma, which means we're different."
"We had our differences and look where we are now," Emma challenged with a grin.
"We're naked in my bed but that can hardly be the solution to all disagreements," Regina gave back. "Not to mention that we had to agree on something to get here."
"And what was that?"
"That we're better together, of course," Regina answered with a soft smile.
"That we are," Emma said and leaned down to kiss her lover. "Did you agree to Hook's offer?"
Regina shrugged.
"He thinks I did and I'm sure I'll have to dodge his attempts at a closer partnership but he knows I'm not interested in him. It's just a question of making him think we want the same thing."
Emma nodded.
"You don't like it, do you?" Regina asked.
"I hate it, actually. I don't want for you to have to pretend to still be the Evil Queen. You're not and you said earlier that you don't want to be her anymore," Emma reasoned.
"I know but... I think it's a small price to pay to... help get everyone back home."
Emma nodded but she didn't look very happy with the plan.
"You wanna go to sleep now?" she asked and kissed Regina on the forehead.
The mayor nodded and Emma settled down beside her, pulling Regina more securely into her arms.
"I love holding you," she whispered into Regina's ear.
"Good. Then don't let go."