Title: A Dose of Reality
Author: Khazrn43, taken from a ddh1973 idea.
Rating: Mature
Summary: Takes place after Born This Way. After hearing her boyfriend tell his ex that she was beautiful, Quinn overhears a conversation that affects her relationship with Finn. Starts out Fuinn, ends Finchel.
Disclaimer: The characters in this story all belong to Ryan Murphy Productions and Fox Television. If I owned them, I would have a lot more money than I do right now.
LYRICS FOR LIGHT UP THE WORLD - you and me keep on dancing in the dark-Its been tearing me apart, never knowing what we are- you and me keep on trying to play it cool-Now it's time to make a move and that's what I'm gonna do-Lay it all down, got something to say-Lay it all down, throw your doubt away-Do or die now, step onto the plate-Blow the door wide open, like up, up and away-Let's light up the world tonight-You gotta give up the bark and bite-I know that we got the love alright-Come on and light it up, light it up tonight-Let's light up the world tonight-You gotta give up the bark and bite-I know that we got the love alright-Come on and light it up, light it up tonight- you and me turn it up ten thousand watts-Tell me why we've gotta stop, I just wanna let it rock- you and me keep on staring at the road-Like we don't know where to go, step back, let me take control
I never really listened to the words before, but they go with PRETENDING. I would have to say Adams Anders is a genius. He wrote both and it fit that episode perfectly. Okay I'm rambling but I just noticed this and had to share.
As always my fictions are chalked full of Finchel Smut. If you can't handle it this is not for you.
Honor the Tether! Remember the Drummer!
Chapter Seven: Sunday Afternoon
Rachel had woken up early in anticipation for the day. Even though she knew today was going to be an emotional one, she slept fairly well. Knowing what she need Finn to hear and understand. She took a shower put on some yoga pants and a big shirt over her tank top. Her hair was pinned simply in a ponytail on top of her head. She refrained from makeup; she'd be crying so what was the point.
Once she was certain she looked presentable, she went to the kitchen to prepare a simple lunch of grilled cheese for him, humus for her. She was just gonna nibble her stomach was in knots.
Finn woke up with a new purpose. He had to make it right with Rachel. In the deepest parts of his mind he hoped they could become a couple again. He wasn't holding too tight to that. He knows he hurt Rachel in an extreme way. He will take her friendship if she'll let him have that. He needs her in anyway she'll give him. He has no doubt anymore that he loves her and she him. He wants her to be happy; so if being her friend is how she will be happy then he will do that.
Once he was ready in his simple jeans and black V-neck t-shirt he grabbed his keys and was hopping in his truck when the door to the house opened revealing Burt. Burt walked over to the truck and spoke "How you doing?"
Finn looked at him curiously. "Good, you?"
Burt sighed and continued "Finn, I want you to be happy. You are my son now and I know over the last few months you've had it rough and made bad choices and your mom and I have been tough on you. But I just wanted you to know that over the last week, I've seen the resurgent of the real Finn and I'm proud you've stepped up and changed the road you were headed down."
Finn pulled Burt into a hug then released him "Thanks Burt, it means…I mean…yeah"
Burt shook his hand then started back to the house "Get your girl" he called back to Finn. Finn smiled and drove away.
Rachel was riddle with nerves of anticipation. She had talked to Kurt last night and this morning, him trying and failing to dissuade all of her fears. Telling her it's just Finn, her Finn. He's back from the dick he's been and back to being her Finn. Still the last few months have been so, so tough. He hurt her, especially when he started dating the Ice Queen. Well he did publicly state he didn't love Quinn, that he was in love with someone else. They all have said it was her, but until she hears Finn actually say the words to her, she can't believe.
She's in the kitchen when she hears a soft yet firm knock on the front door followed by the doorbell signally Finn had arrived. Putting the finishing touches on the table she made for the door. Checking herself in the mirror of the hall tree she composed her shakiness and opened the door to find a calm, and dare she say confident Finn.
The door opened and Finn looked down at the little brunette with the big expressive eyes and gave her his heart melting, pantie dropping half smile. "Hi, Rach" he humbly stated. Rachel widen the door allowing him to pass into the foyer. He immediately took his shoes off; her dads didn't like shoes on their white carpet.
"I have lunch ready if you want to go into the breakfast nook." She offered.
"Sure, Yeah…. that's great" He stumbled over the words moving into the kitchen. Rachel on his heels trying to keep herself calm and serene.
They ate of some light conversation about school and shows they used to watch together. The heavy would come in a minute, but for now they were content to share this light hearted moment. The lunch was going well and they even did the dishes together. Some nonthreatening flirting back and forth was had and as the last dish was placed in the cabinet; they knew the time had come.
"Let's go into the den, there is more space and….so yes" Rachel offered. Finn nodded in agreement and the couple moved to the den, where they would talk everything out.
Finn sat in one of the big chairs by the window Rachel sat at yesterday, overlooking the pool and backyard. Rachel perched in the chair opposite Finn and waited for him to start.
Finn gazed at the girl across from him, knowing he loved her. He was as sure as he was his name was Finn Hudson. "I want you to know. I forgave you, the minute you said it. That was never the problem. My pride and the images that wouldn't leave my head were." He looked at her to see if she wanted to say anything. She just looked at him, but with wetter eyes. He reached out and stroked her face. Rachel leaned into Finn's palm, closing her eyes at the feel of him touching her for the first time in a long time.
The tears that welled in her eyes began to fall. "Don't cry Rach, we are going to be okay, I promise" Finn said softly. She composed herself and motioned for Finn to continue. The first time I saw you, my heart whispered 'that's the one'. You were walking down the hall wearing a green and black skirt, so Rachel Berry…he said with a chuckle…and a black sweater. We passed by each other and our arms barely grazed each other. I felt that spark when we did. Then my mind caught up with me but you had already passed so I turned to look at you hoping you would look back, but you didn't so I thought you didn't feel it. I let the feeling go, but then Mr. Shue found the pot in my locker, long story, and forced me to join Glee. You were so bold in your face and scary…they both laughed a little bit so Finn continued…but when you grab my hand I felt that spark again. I tried to hold on to that but you know, baby gate."
Rachel flinched at the mention of baby gate. Sometimes it still hurt to remember how he hurt her for the baby that wasn't his, but then it only makes her love him more. The thought of him doing anything for his baby, makes him the man she wants to grow old with. She lets him wipe away the tears but still lets him speak.
"You know that I'm not one for words, I usually vomit them out before even thinking about what I want to say; I've had so much wasted time away from you that I-I … he is getting choked up, then quickly composes himself. He promised he wouldn't let words fail him, so he trudged along...I, my mom gave me this book of poetry when we broke up. At first I didn't know why, then as I started to read it, I realized she was trying to keep me from forgetting the good between us…he smirks, she smiles…she's sneaking like that. When I was with Quinn…they both shudder at her name…the first time and she told me she was pregnant and I was the father, the first thing I thought of was not holy shit my girlfriend is pregnant, it was I'll never be with Rachel.
"I am nothing without your love but a series of empty spaces that collide in the way we once did. Each lingering pause, a reminder of the emptiness that remains even though the fires in my heart still burn for you" He recites James McInnerney #202 The fire that Burns. "That is how I felt when we couldn't be together. I know I said I saw fireworks with Quinn, but you know what happens after the fireworks fade. Nothing. You know what is left after the sky clears? Stars, though the sky is full of diamonds, you are the only star that shines for me. And you do Rachel, you are the star that guides me home. Without your light I am lost. I'm not me when we aren't together."
"I know you talk to Kurt so he told you what she did, I'm not saying it's all her fault, but she set us up to fail and we let her do it. We…I knew sleeping with Santana was wrong. Not because it was cheating, but because I told you I liked you and that I wouldn't give up on us. But you were with Jesse and I thought you were giving it up to him, I was hurt, confused and I wanted to hurt you, yeah, makes me mean too, but then I saw you there in the choir room, our place, and you acted like it was no big deal, I didn't' want to hurt you anymore so I lied. My first time was ruined and I thought that if I didn't say it out loud it didn't happen. But then we finally got our shot and when you confessed that you didn't give it up to Jesse, I felt that it would just hurt you unnecessarily. We were happy and in love, why blow that up. I was so scared you'd never forgive me. It meant nothing, she means nothing. I don't even like her as a friend. I am sorry, that you had to find out in the middle of the choir room. That was wrong of me. Santana warned me, but I still didn't tell you. But then, and I know now, Quinn was in your ear telling you to go with Puck. See, babe, we let her blow us up. If we could have talked before you wounded my pride, both of our stubbornness, maybe we could have gotten passed it and she wouldn't have been a factor." Finn blew out a breath. He has talked more in the last week than he has in his whole life. His jaw was starting to hurt but he knew he had to continue.
"I don't want to be that guy, Rach. I don't like me when we aren't together. I'm an asshole, douche and that is not me. I hurt Sam, who was nothing but good to me, I hurt my mom, Burt and Kurt. But mostly I hurt you, and if you let me, I'll spend the rest of forever trying to make up for that." He reaches out to the beautiful girl sitting across from him, looking like an angel as the late afternoon sun was settling in the yard, it's light flowing through the window casting an ethereal glow upon her tear soaked face.
Finn waited with baited breath for her to speak. Rachel took a minute to absorb everything Finn just told her. Her whole body ached for him. it had been everything she was wanting to hear, but…" Finn, I love you, I've loved you since the moment I saw you. I gave you every part of me that I could and was ready to give and time and time you threw it back at me. I never felt good enough for you, never felt pretty enough. You help me realize that I am pretty but that was in private. In public Finn, it was almost as if you were ashamed of me…Finn tried to interrupt but she was not having it. She held up her hand for him to stop, then she spoke again… I always knew what I wanted, but I never knew it would include you. You've changed me Finn. I'm not as selfish as I used to be, I'm more of a team player, even if that team only pretends to like me. But with you I could always be just Rachel, not Rachel Berry future Broadway star. I was so lonely before Glee, before you. I was all alone, but now that I've felt your heartbeat, I don't have to be alone anymore. I don't' want to be just Rachel Berry future star. I want to have the love, the safety of someone who loves me and not just my voice. I could never love Jesse, because he didn't know the real me. He only heard the voice, he never saw the woman. I know you love me Finn, I do, but I'm so scared, so scared that you will shatter me and I'll never be Rachel again."
She felt like she was rambling and her thoughts were all over the place. She only hoped he could follow what she was trying to say. She looked at the boy she loved, but saw the man he was becoming. He stood from his seat eating up the small space between them pulled her up from her seat engulfing her into a hug. She wept into his chest and he cried on her head. They held each other for a while until their legs started to tire.
Finn was the first to speak "What now?"
Rachel looked up at him, he was so beautiful, heartbreakingly beautiful "I think we start off being friends. I now in reality we were never really just friends" They both chuckled a bit. "But I think we both have changed since we were last together. You just found out some big news and broke up with…Quinn's name felt like a cotton ball across her tongue…her. We jumped into us the last time that happened with her and after Jesse. We need to establish an unbreakable foundation. Learn to trust each other again." She was afraid he'd say no; he'd want everything right now...
Finn thought about what she said and he was in agreement with her "I think you are right. Be friends so when we get together we will be even stronger."
Rachel laughed in agreement wiping the many tears that were still falling from her wet eyes. She was exhausted from the day's events. She was hopeful. Finn had never sounded so eloquent and put together. He surprised her with the words he spoke.
Finn looked at her smiling that half smirk with love and hope in his eyes. "Just one thing before we can be just friends. Can I kiss you? You know to hold me over" he grinned.
Rachel lifted up on her tippy toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. He lowered his head and their lips met in the middle. The kiss was full on the mouth, tongue sweeping across her bottom lip begging for her to let him enter her mouth. She granted him access. They shared the first honest kiss between them since they've know each other and it felt like HOME.
Rachel broke the kiss and took Finn's hand in hers leading him to the front door. "I'm drained. I want to take a shower and have a nap. Thank you for this Finn."
"You look so tired. Happier than before but tired. I am too, I'm going to go now. But we have a lot left to talk about. We will get together soon for another talk." He grabbed the door and opened it. He stood in the door way then turned to face her "Rach, I do love you. I do. I have a good nap; I'll see you at school." With that he took his leave, Rachel closed the door sliding down with a big smile plaster all over her face.
She just got dressed and laid on her bed readying for her nap when her phone vibrated. Her smiled returned when she saw who it was from
"I'm glad we're talking. See you soon Finn 3."
She text him back with just a smile and heart emoji but that was enough. She was just dozing off when she heard Happy Days are here again coming from her phone. she rolled her eyes and slide the button answering
"Hey Kurt, yes we did, no I'm not…. okay I'll tell you. He said some wonderful things…." She continued telling Kurt the entirety of the afternoon with Finn.
"Now I know why Journey is blasting throughout the house" Kurt laughed.
Okay so there is the long awaited talk between Finchel. There are so many things they yet to say to each other, so they will be building a friendship. Also you didn't think the evil bitch was gonna go quietly into the night did you. She'll be back, but Finchel will have help from a most unlikely of allies. See ya soon.
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