10 Haring, 9:31 Dragon
The trip to the tower had been tense, and in the ten hours it took to cross Lake Calenhad from Redcliffe, neither Eamon nor Isolde had left their cabins. Both insisted that it was because of the cold, but Arais knew better. Perhaps it would be considered childish to avoid him, but she could hardly blame Isolde for wanting to keep her distance from Eamon.
His attitude when they had arrived in Redcliffe had been nothing short of rude, and there had been more than one passive aggressive assumption that Isolde would not have told him the news, had it not been for his brother. Teagan had steadfastly defended his sister-in-law, and it was likely Eamon was not only avoiding Isolde, but his brother as well. No doubt, he understood where Teagan's allegiances would lay, were he forced to choose.
She only hoped it wouldn't affect Connor, and he wouldn't be used as a weapon against either of his parents.
Isolde and Eamon had agreed to see him separately, so she stood in the entrance hall with Isolde and Teagan, and waited for Eamon to return. He had insisted he be the first to see Connor, and Arais could only imagine what he might have been planning, and none of it was good. Still, Isolde had relented, more than likely unwilling to argue with him.
After quite some time had passed, Eamon practically sauntered into the entrance hall with the templar escort he had been assigned, and Arais didn't like the expression on his face one bit. He seemed satisfied, as if he had accomplished a great deal in the half an hour he spent with his son.
Maker, what had he said to Connor?
"How is he?" Isolde asked, and her voice shook with barely concealed desperation.
"Connor is quite all right." There was a look in his eyes that could only be described as smug. "I think I will return to the boat, and wait until you all have had your chance to see him." Eamon didn't wait for any reply before he left, that self-satisfied grin still planted firmly on his lips.
Arais' stomach churned. The templar motioned for Isolde to follow, and the arlessa turned to Teagan. "Will you come with me? Surely we don't need to all see him separately."
"Of course," Teagan replied, and looked to Arais. "Will you be all right by yourself?"
"Yes, I'll be fine. I wanted to speak with Wynne, while I'm here, to check up on something she mentioned at the coronation." She took his hand. "Go. I'm certain Connor is excited to see the both of you."
Isolde and Teagan followed the templar out of the entrance hall, and Arais waited a moment before she made her way to the library. There she found Wynne, seated at a table as she oversaw the training of a small group of apprentices. She looked tired, more tired than Arais had ever seen her, and she wondered if the spirit keeping her alive was weakening.
"Wynne?"
The elder mage turned, and a smile spread across her face. "Arais, it is good to see you. I take it you are here with the Guerrins?"
"I am." She sat beside Wynne. "Teagan and Isolde are with Connor, now." She fumbled for words. "What happened with the Grand Cleric?"
Wynne tensed, and glanced around the room. She stood and called for one of the other mages to watch over her apprentices, and led Arais into the room just outside the library.
"I apologize; I didn't wish to be overheard by prying ears." She sat on a bench that rested along the wall. "The Grand Cleric has decided transferring Cullen is in the best interest of the Chantry, but it won't be done until spring. We are doing our best to keep it from Cullen, as he has no idea that any disciplinary action is being taken against him. Greagoir, Irving, and I all agreed that would be in the best interest of the mages—something I do not think Elemena had in mind when she made her decision to have him remain in Kinloch Hold until his transfer."
"The Grand Cleric didn't seem overly concerned with policing her templars behavior," Arais said, and sat beside Wynne. When the older women glanced up at her, eyebrow raised, Arais fished through her pack to find the letter Elemena had sent her, and handed it to Wynne. "I received this letter the morning after the coronation. There's no doubt Elemena is unhappy with my choice of boon, but as it is, she's allowing some concession so she can ignore the rest, for now."
Wynne perused the letter, and passed it back to Arais when she was finished. "I'm hardly surprised. Elemena has never been a friend to the mages, and she has ignored more than one complaint from the common folk when her templars have been heavy handed. Or so the rumors have said; I can't personally attest to the truthfulness of those claims. Though they certainly seem more valid, if she's willing to allow the templars to go on as they are."
"I'm surprised she's not worried about political blowback from the nobles if Connor were to be harmed any worse than he already has been."
"It is likely she thinks removing Cullen from Kinloch Hold will pacify those who don't know any better." Wynne sighed. "Most of the templars serving here now are new, however, and are less likely to act as Cullen did. The others who were here during the coup have fared better than Cullen, mentally. Cullen's transfer may dissuade any cruel behavior, in the future. Perhaps it will set an example that such things are no longer going to be tolerated."
"We can only hope." Arais noted the dark circles under Wynne's eyes, and changed the course of conversation. "You seem tired, Wynne? Has your condition worsened?"
"I am no worse for wear than I was during the Blight. Though I'm beginning to wonder if I should have returned to the Circle." She looked past Arais, toward the hall that held the apprentice quarters. "It seems as though your companions have finished with their visit."
Arais turned and saw Teagan standing in the doorway, a templar not far behind. "Is everything all right?" she asked, her brows furrowed.
"Yes, of course," Teagan said. "Connor is asking for you."
A hand rested on her shoulder, and she turned to Wynne, who smiled at her. "I should return to the apprentices. It was good to see you again so soon, Arais."
"And you, Wynne." The two women hugged, and Arais watched as Wynne returned to library, her shoulders more relaxed, though it was clear she carried a heavy burden. When she turned back to Teagan, she offered him a small smile. "How is Connor?"
He motioned toward the door, and they walked, the templar falling into step behind them. "He is well. He mentioned a few friends he has made, but mostly he just wanted to hear about the coronation, and how everyone has been since he left."
"How is he handling his parents' situation?" she asked.
"As well as can be expected, given the circumstances." He stopped in front of the entrance to the dormitories. "He didn't dwell on it. I suppose he is just happy to see his parents, together or not, so it doesn't surprise me."
"That does make sense. If I had been able to see my parents, it's likely I wouldn't have talked about their divorce, either. I would have just been relieved to see them at all." She saw Connor sitting alone when she glanced into the room. "Did Isolde return to the boat?"
"She did. She would have stayed longer, if she could, but she grew weary. Connor insisted she rest." He frowned. "He has become very observant."
"The curse of spending so much time in the same place," she said, with a half-hearted smile. "The first thing we learn as mages is to focus, and that can bleed into other aspects of our lives. We become better at reading people, some more so than others."
She looked back to Connor. "I should go in. Are you coming?"
"He was rather insistent that he speak to you alone." He kissed her cheek. "I will wait out here."
"I—okay." She walked into the room, ignoring her confusion, and sat beside Connor on the bed. "Hello, Connor."
"Hi." His voice was barely above a whisper.
"Your uncle said you wanted to talk to me?" He nodded, but said nothing. "Is something wrong?"
"I . . ." he started, but trailed off. His eyes met hers, and there were unshed tears welling there. "I think so. Mother tells me everything is okay, but . . . I didn't like how Father acted, when he visited." He looked away, his cheeks slightly pink. "He tried to tell me that he and Mother not being together anymore was her fault, that she did bad things." His arms crossed over his chest, and he seemed to hug himself. "I know what my mother did. She was trying to help me. It wasn't her fault that Jowan was a bad man and tried to hurt Father."
"Oh, Connor." She put her arm around him, and held him close. His shoulders shook slightly, and she could feel the anger bubbling in her chest. Maker curse Eamon. What could have possessed him to try and pit his son against the boy's mother? "I'm not sure why your father would say such things." She fumbled for words, her thoughts a jumbled mess in the haze of her outrage. She had to force her voice to remain even, lest she betray her true feelings. "He was sick for a long time, and sometimes that can change people. I do know he still loves you very much. Both of your parents do. They were so worried when you were taken away."
"I know," he said, his voice shaky. He wiped his face with the back of his hand. "I just want Mother to be okay. She was so sad, and I could tell she was worried Father might have said something. I felt bad lying to her, but I didn't want her to think Father hates her." She was quiet, unsure what to say. "Do you think she will be okay?" he asked, and gazed up at her, hopeful.
"I do." She smiled. "She has a lot of friends who are going to be there for her. Your uncle, and the queen."
"And you?"
"Yes. And me."
"Good." He hugged her, and rested his cheek against her shoulder for a few moments. Then, he stood, and glanced toward the other side of the room, and a smile spread across his face. Arais turned and saw the young Antivan girl who had sat with him that first day in the doorway.
"Connor, are you going to miss all of your lessons today?" Vitalia asked with a smirk, and began to walk over. She froze mid stride when she noticed Arais, and stood still, her eyes wide. "I . . . I remember you. You are the Warden who helped Wynne stop Uldred."
"I am." Arais smiled. "If I remember correctly, you asked to help."
"Petra kept telling me I was too young." Vitalia walked over, and stood beside Connor. Arais noticed that Vitalia was shorter than Connor, though now she could tell the girl was definitely older. "But I knew some spells I taught myself. I could have helped, and they wouldn't let me."
"You were only thirteen, Tali," Connor said.
Vitalia waved her hand, as if his words were a bug that had flown too close. "What does that matter? I still could have done something!"
"I'm sure they were just trying to keep you safe," Arais said, and pursed her lips to contain a grin.
The elven girl let out a disgruntled sigh. "You sound like Connor."
"Hey!" Connor said, and nudged her with his shoulder. Arais' resolve broke, and she smiled. This was a side of Connor she hadn't ever seen, and it was heartwarming to know he had made such a close friend in such a small amount of time. "Is it so bad that they didn't want you to get hurt?"
"Hmph." Vitalia folded her arms across her chest. "Senior Enchanter Marianni wants to know if you will be coming to your lessons later, or if you would rather rest."
"I'm not tired; I can go." He turned to Arais. "Are you going to come next time?"
"Of course."
He smiled and hugged her. "Thank you, Arais. I know you didn't have to come, but . . . I'm glad you did. I missed you."
"It's true," Vitalia said, and that smirk pulled at her lips again, her dark eyes glittering with mischief. "He spoke of little else besides you since I met him."
His cheeks turned pink, and he turned on her. "Quiet, Tali."
"What?" She held up her hands. "It's the truth."
"It's okay, Connor." Arais put a hand on his shoulder. "I missed you, too. I'm happy I was able to see you."
The smile returned to his face. "I should go. There isn't much time left for lessons today before dinner."
"Go. I'll see you in a few weeks."
He moved towards the door, Vitalia close behind. Arais heard him whisper, "Sometimes I wonder why we're friends," to the girl, and Vitalia giggled.
Arais shook her head, and was reminded of herself and Anders, and even Jowan, before he had . . . changed. Jowan had teased her just as Vitalia teased Connor, about boys, about her magic. Everything had changed when she had been taken for her Harrowing. She only hoped the same fate didn't befall Connor and Vitalia.
They deserved to have some happiness inside the hold's towering walls.
The boat rocked gently on the water, and Arais leaned against the railing, allowing the brisk winter wind to sting her cheeks. Her hands rubbed her arms beneath her cloak, though she found she didn't mind the cold as much as she used to. She spread her fingers out on the railing, and looked over the edge. Lake Calenhad looked dark and sinister where the moonlight failed to set it alight with its eerie luminescence. She heard footsteps, but didn't turn around.
"Would it be all right if I joined you?" Teagan asked, stepping up beside her.
A small smile played on her lips when her eyes met his. "Of course."
"I checked your cabin first, and found it empty." He took her hand in his, and rested them atop the railing. "You couldn't sleep either, I take it?"
"Not the slightest bit."
His eyes filled with concern. "Is there something troubling you, that you can't sleep?"
"Nothing in particular." She frowned, and cringed. Why not be truthful? There was no point in keeping it from him. "No, that's a lie." She took a deep breath. "Do you remember the templar I mentioned? The one who hurt Connor?"
"Cullen?"
"Yes, him. Wynne told me he is being transferred, but they are waiting until after the winter to make it final." Her brows furrowed together, and she looked across the water, to where Redcliffe Castle was beginning to come into view. "The Grand Cleric insisted. I wonder if she grasps just how dangerous he might be. They're keeping it from him, for now, but to what end? I think Elemena knows he is a threat to the mages, but she's using this to send a message to me. That she won't tolerate criticism of the templars and their training, as it is overseen by the Chantry."
"Would she truly be so careless out of spite?"
"From what Wynne has said of Elemena, the woman has never been kind to mages. It's likely she doesn't care if a few mages get hurt, so long as she can say she resisted my request."
"I would never have expected the Grand Cleric to be so vindictive."
"Nor would I." Arais sighed. "If something happens to Connor, or any of the other mages, because of something Cullen does, I will see to it personally that she be removed from her position."
Teagan's hand came up to cup her cheek, gently urging her to face him. "I have no doubt you will." His eyes were warm as he looked into hers, and his lips pulled into a soft smile. "You really have come to care for Connor, haven't you?"
"I have." She glanced away. "I told you once that releasing him from the demon created a bond between us, and that was why I helped to escort him to the Circle. I've no doubt that has affected how I am with him, but . . . I don't think that is entirely why I feel so connected to him. I—Being in the Fade with him, I got to know him far better than I may have otherwise. I felt his concern for his father, for his family, as if those feelings were my own. And even afterward, it was overwhelming just how much I understood how he felt.
"When I was taken away, I thought I would never see my family again. And then my siblings were taken to separate Circles, my father left, and my mother . . . passed away. It is very likely I will never see my brother and sister again, and I didn't want Connor to go through that. Especially when he would have grown up knowing his family was such a short boat ride away."
"Arais, I . . . I can hardly express just how much all you've done for my nephew means to me." His hand tightened on hers. "I confess, I overheard some of what he said, about Eamon and Isolde, and the way you handled it . . . I don't think even I would have been able to defend my brother after hearing what he said."
"I didn't do it for Eamon." She drew a deep breath, a meager attempt to temper her anger. "Maker forgive me, I wanted nothing more than to find Eamon and tell him exactly what I thought of his actions. But if what I experienced being in Connor's mind, seeing his thoughts, proved anything, it was that he loved his father, and I don't think anything could hurt him more than thinking all Eamon cared about was having the upper hand."
"No doubt you're right."
His arm snaked around her shoulder, and he pulled her close until she rested her cheek against his chest. "Teagan, I . . . I'm sorry if anything I've said is out of line. I just don't want Connor to have to worry about anything outside of his life in the Circle. He has enough to contend with."
"Your concern for Connor is just as valid as Isolde's or mine. And I don't deny that my brother's behavior is problematic, and needs to be dealt with before he can be trusted with Connor again. I fully intend to discuss that with him as soon as we return to Redcliffe.
"But that isn't why I came to you tonight." And here, he paused, and pushed her away to hold her at arms' length. His eyes were impossible to read, shadowed as they were by the night. "Arais, whether you realize it or not, you have become an integral part of my family. That Connor has chosen you as a confidant is proof of that. He was always shy, and if he had concerns, I was the one he came to." His hands moved up; he held her face so tenderly, her heart ached. "But now he comes to you.
"I don't know what will happen with my brother, or Isolde, or after I become the arl of Redcliffe. One thing I do know, however, is how I feel right now, in this moment." He rested his forehead against hers. "I love you. More than I have ever loved anyone. You've given me so much, and asked for nothing in return. So, if you will have me, I offer myself."
"Teagan, I . . ." She shook her head, and even as she realized what he was saying, she asked, "What are you asking?"
He tilted her head up, and she saw the love he professed, even through the darkness, and her vision swam with moisture. "Marry me, Arais."
She choked on a sob, and tears trailed free and quick down her cheeks. A smile radiated across her lips, and she leaned up and caught his in a soft, yet urgent kiss. She grasped his face in her hands, and she nodded. "Yes," she whispered against his lips. His arms wrapped around her waist, and he held her so tightly, Arais felt herself nearly lifted off the deck of the ship. She laughed, her giddiness overflowing, and the sound rang out across Lake Calenhad.
Still, anxiety threatened to rise in her chest, her mind telling her that this may not be possible, that she was the Commander of the Grey and her duty would always be to the Wardens first, but she attempted to push those thoughts away. Maker damn the Wardens and their politics, she deserved this—both of them deserved this—and she wouldn't deny herself happiness any longer.
But could she truly shirk her duties, even for a little while? Her arms tightened around Teagan's neck when she remembered the Wardens who would be arriving in Amaranthine. Maker only knew how much time she would need to spend with them, rebuilding the order in Ferelden. And there was no guarantee she would be able to handle the responsibilities that came with being an arlessa.
Her feet now firmly back on the deck of the boat, she stepped back and looked up at Teagan. His smile was warm even as he noticed that hers had faltered, and took her hand in his. "Is something the matter?"
She hesitated before she nodded, slowly. "The Chamberlain at Weisshaupt sent word before the coronation that more Wardens would be arriving in Ferelden, pending Anora's permission to cross the border from Orlais. I assume I'll be needed in Amaranthine until they've settled, and I have no idea how long that will take." She looked down at the wooden planks beneath her feet. "I probably won't have time for much else."
"Arais, you needn't worry. I will wait as long as I must; no amount of time is too much."
"But what will this mean for Amaranthine?" Arais knew little about politics, but it hardly seemed possible for her to be arlessa to both Amaranthine and Redcliffe. "If I marry you, who will take over for me as arlessa?"
"Anora will appoint someone, if you don't find a suitable successor yourself. Again, there is time to work all of this out." As he stared at their joined hands, his brow furrowed as if he was in deep thought. He released her hand and slipped the signet ring from his little finger, and when he slid it onto her ring finger, he looked her in the eye. "Whatever troubles you, I will do my best to face it with you. Know you will never be alone, so long as you have me."
Her lips turned up in a small smile. She reached up to kiss him, and her arms snaked around his neck. He was right, she knew. It seemed no matter how often she doubted herself, or whether something would work out in her favor, Teagan was there to remind her that there was always hope. Perhaps one day she would no longer need him to, and as she absently twirled the ring on her finger, she realized that it might be the only reminder she would need. He was her second chance for love, and for happiness.
Who knew what her life with him would offer in the future?
Again, a huge, huge thank you to Herebedragons66. She betaed the crap out of this and made it wonderful. Another thank you to Jordan A. Masters for putting up with my rambling while I wrote this back in February/March and all the times I've talked her ear off since editing it, and of course for looking it over every once in a while. And of course a huge shout out to the artist who claimed my story, Mena. You're a star and I can't wait to show off your artwork to anyone and everyone.