This is not an original story. It was written during the middle of season 2. The original story assumed a sequel that never happened. So there will be some brand new content in this rewrite and several new chapters at the end.

I still don't own Chuck.

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The Agent and the Nerd

x-x-x-x-x

As Seth opened the door, he took in the sight of Sarah standing there. "Damn," he said with a sigh. "You can look hot in anything." Tonight's the night that I get with that.

Sarah forced the dazzling smile on her face, the one that always made men rock hard in some places and soft as putty in others. "Hi, Seth," she said as she walked in the door he was holding open for her. "Did you miss me?"

Instead of answering, Seth grabbed Sarah in his arms and pressed his lips to hers. Sarah only let the kiss go for a couple of moments before she pulled back.

First it was time to take care of business. "I guess so," Sarah said with a laugh. "Hold on a minute, tiger. At least let me put my bag down. We have all night for that."

Seth grabbed Sarah's bag from her hand and placed it on the end table and quickly kissed her again. This time, after a few moments, his hand drifted towards the front of Sarah's blouse.

Fortunately, Sarah's genuine annoyed tone was appropriate for this circumstance. "Damn it, Seth," she snapped as she broke his kiss and stepped away. "Can you keep that little man in your pants under control for ten minutes? I have something to show you."

"I have something to show you too," Seth said as he smiled seductively. "And I've got news for you. He's not that little. And he's getting bigger. Maybe it's time that I reintroduced you."

Again Sarah's laugh was genuine. Seth Roberts was nothing if not totally predictable. "I don't think that will be necessary at this time," she said. "I remember what he looks like."

"It may not be necessary for you," Seth said as he grabbed Sarah around the waist and pulled her close. "But it sure as hell is necessary for him. He's dying in there. He needs a kiss. And me too, by the way."

Well that was disgusting… so annoyed Sarah was quickly back. "Stop," she said firmly as she broke away and grabbed a manila folder from her bag. "Seth, do you want to be a hero here? I'm not really in the best mood. I've been up all night doing the work that you should have been doing. Now, do you want to see what I have for you or not?"

x-x-x-x-x

Laura Carter was lying in bed silently counting his thrusts and accompanied grunts until it was time for her next moan. She was growing tired of this assignment. Who wouldn't?

Getting close to a small time drug runner by becoming his trophy fuck toy and talking him into taking her with him on his next trip south so she could find out who the cartel supplier was and execute him would have normally been a plum assignment… for a first year up-and-coming agent. After all, he was based in Miami. The weather was great. The hotel they spend a lot of time in was luxury all the way. Whenever you wanted there was always a pile of the highest quality coke known to man available, not Laura's thing, but a lot of young agents would sure feel differently. There was even a private yacht they spent most of their time on, out into the ocean in international waters where she could work on her tan.

But she wasn't a first year agent. She was in the top echelon of all agents. If Laura Carter was going to fuck someone twice a night for her country, it should be a prince or a rogue General in charge of nuclear weapons, right? Not this small time dude. Hello? Didn't anyone remember her mission to single handedly save the Greece government? Apparently this particular low-life cartel had run afoul of some very influential people to get an agent the caliber of Laura Carter assigned to it.

But actually Laura had to admit, this 'small time dude' wasn't all that bad of a fuck, at least compared to the norm in his profession. Most of them were rough bastards who treated you like a piece of meat and made you walk around naked all the time hanging on their arm. Not that he was a misunderstood gentle and loving soul or anything. This was a bloodthirsty drug runner. If she blew her cover, he would take great pleasure in torturing her to death as painfully as possible, tape the last few horrible hours of her life, and send the tape to the CIA as a warning. After all, the poor guy had professional standards to uphold.

But in his defense, it could be and often was much worse. He did always use a condom, wasn't into whips and pain, always took her into the privacy of the bedroom away from the others, didn't demand that she hit her knees to blow one of his workers as a reward anytime they did a good job. All of those things were a distinct possibility in this type of assignment. Oh, and the most important perk… he could fuck and stay rock hard for an uncommonly, unbelievably impressive long time. That never happened. That fact alone passed for a rookie's plum assignment in the spy business.

This was the worst phase of this kind of assignment. The second month was always the hardest. He didn't quite trust her enough yet to take her with him… this group was clearly a particularly suspicious lot. But she was in the inner circle enough so that she had no way to refuse him anything anytime he wanted it.

The anything was sex. Fortunately he was fairly unimaginative sexually. Mostly he just wanted good old tried and true missionary position fucking. That was actually a very good thing for two reasons. First, he was very good at the fundamentals, why get fancy? Second, she dreaded the few times that he would demand something else. Make no mistake. Laura had no issues fundamentally with the idea of delivering a quick blowjob every once in a while. In fact she preferred it in many ways. It normally allowed her to control the agenda. But this guy was something else. His endurance became a distinct liability in that case as she had no choice but to stay down there for what seemed like a fucking hour making her neck stiff and her jaw ache.

That left the anytime. And in this case the anytime was literally anytime, absolutely any time of the day or night, including waking her up at four in the fucking morning more than once. And he wanted it… a lot, never less than twice every night. The man had an almost insatiable sex drive. In that way he was kinda like Seth. He clearly didn't believe in silly notions like foreplay. None of them did… another clear resemblance to Seth. But all he mostly asked of her was to lie there submissively with her knees up while he pounded her. He was more than willing to do all of the heavy lifting. And at least he usually lasted long enough so that she could get herself warmed up enough to think about some of the good times with Seth and seek some occasional satisfaction when the mood struck her.

It was a nice talent to be sure. Not that it was going to prolong his life expectancy any. Laura had already seen enough of his cruelty and just plain viciousness. When you took your enemy, tied their hands behind their back, and dragged them behind a car for a few miles, the bloody, lifeless lump that was left no longer looked like a person. So she was going to take a fair amount of pleasure in ending this lowlife prick the very second she could. But at least she got some small amount of pleasure out of the deal. That hardly ever happened on missions. If she could only meet someone like this that wasn't a scum of the earth type, she'd have someone to work with. Imagine the things she could teach Mr. Rock Hard here, if only he was willing to learn. Some nights that thought alone was enough to get her juices really flowing.

Not tonight though. She was far too consumed by Seth's last phone call. The moron simply had to stop calling her cell just to chat when she was on a mission. Okay, yes, it was nice to hear his voice. She missed him too. But it simply wasn't done. Someday that was going to cause a real problem. But he said he was with Sarah. There was just something that didn't ring true about the picture he was painting. She still thought they were married? Wanted to get back together? Was agreeing to possibly even climbing back in his bed? That wasn't the hothead Sarah Walker that she knew and loved.

So her latest moan was a few strokes late, and came out more like a sigh. If he noticed he didn't say anything. He just grunted a little harder as he kept pumping away. Yes, she said it. She loved Sarah, always had, honestly felt horrible for the way things ended, even missed her best friend terribly. But the thought of her with Seth… that didn't feel right.

Fortunately her mark was leaving in a couple of days and would be gone for a couple of weeks. That would give her enough time to get out to the coast and find out what in the hell was going on here for herself.

She was so consumed by her thoughts that she almost missed the long groan and intensity of his thrusts markedly increase, which were always his way of telling her that he was about done. Sure enough, a few seconds later he rolled off her allowing her to rest her legs. A good thing because the left hip was starting to cramp a little from holding her knees in the air for so long. She reached over and kissed him while he was panting for breath. "Thanks," she said. "That was the best ever. How can you possibly last so long? I'm so lucky. You're the biggest stud around."

Okay, come on, dude. Seriously. Were you actually buying any of this? How could every single time be the best ever? Do the fucking math in your head. And the biggest stud around? Hardly. But men like this ate that crap up. So even though he didn't answer, he clearly thought so too.

She knew from experience that he wasn't into much kissing after round two, or conversation for that matter. He'd just want to catch his breath and go to sleep… which actually suited Laura fine. She had other things to worry about. "You're still leaving in two days?" she asked with a pout. "How am I going to possibly live without you fucking me for two whole weeks? Are you sure I can't go with you? Please? I'll make it so much fun for you." What the hell? Might as well take a shot, right? Maybe she'd get lucky. After all, that would end the assignment.

"Not this time," was all he said. "Soon."

There was no way to argue. Pissing him off would… well, it would be bad. "Okay," she sighed as she thought about the best way to check out what Sarah was up to these days. She had friends that would know. Two days plus another to get out there? That would work. "I'll just go to the store and stock up on batteries," she sighed.

He didn't catch her shot. He was already snoring.

x-x-x-x-x

Seth actually examined the material in the folder that Sarah handed him. That alone was a little surprising. "How did you get this stuff anyway?" he asked in amazement.

"Well, Seth," Sarah said, making no effort to keep the condescending tone from her voice. "I did what an agent would do. I did what you should have done. I took the picture of Agent Lizzy that you gave me and scanned it. Then I went backwards through the Buy More surveillance video using the CIA face recognition software looking for the last time she had been there. It turned out, that was in January."

"Very impressive," Seth said with a smile.

"Thanks," Sarah said shaking her head. That impressed him? "It's actually pretty basic stuff. Then I went back a couple of weeks and found these and many more instances of her and this John Mark guy. They were obviously all over each other. It was actually kind of sweet. So I accessed the Buy More personnel system and printed a copy of his employment application."

"What about the email?" Seth asked.

"Again, standard procedure," Sarah said flatly. "I was doing a routine scan of the Buy More Exchange email system when I came across this message from him. You can clearly see Lizzy in the background. It is obvious that she went off the grid with this John Mark. That was almost a year ago so who knows where they might be. They are long gone. If you're interested in finding this Lizzy, you'll need to track them down."

Seth kept going back to the picture of them making love in the Home Theater room. "Don't they know that there is a camera in there?" Seth asked with a gleam in his eye.

"Apparently not," Sarah said with a smile. "I have to watch my spoiled rich kid in there with her boyfriend about three times a week. It makes me lose my appetite. The good news is that I've lost ten pounds."

"Why did you do all of this?" Seth asked softly.

Sarah paused for a long moment for effect. This was the key moment in all of this stupid charade. She had to sell this or the whole deal was off. "Isn't it obvious?" she asked. "I did it for you, Seth. I did it for us. Maybe now we can go someplace and start over. Are you really going to make me say it? I did it because I love you."

Seth went to grab Sarah again but was stopped by her hand on his chest.

"Come on, Seth,' Sarah said in an exasperated voice. "Can't you seriously be an agent for ten more minutes? You really need to report this information. It's time for you to think about your career for a minute. It's time to be a hero."

As Seth picked up his cell phone, Sarah walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" Seth asked.

Sarah had to fight to keep in the groan. Seth Roberts was really the worst fucking agent on the planet, wasn't he? Did he really not have a clue about this procedure? "I'm going to take a walk," she replied as she shook her head sadly. "You really need to be secure when you report. You might get an order. I'll be back in twenty minutes."

"One thing that I don't understand about this," Seth said slowly. "Are we to believe that this sexy, sophisticated agent went off the grid because she fell for a nerd working in a Buy More? Isn't that quite a stretch?"

Sarah quickly turned towards the door so that Seth would not be able to see her face because she could feel the tears forming in her eyes. "Trust me, Seth," she said softly as she opened the door.

"It happens."

x-x-x-x-x

Sarah was actually gone for a little more than twenty minutes. She was power walking around the grounds, getting rid of some nervous energy, and frankly debating how to proceed. She hadn't been exaggerating at all when she told Chuck that spending the night with Seth would take their odds from 10% to 90%. That was her honest opinion at the time. But she had to admit this was going very well. He was totally buying it. The odds had now improved markedly. So much so that maybe his superiors might buy it as well. If that happened, she didn't need to spend the night. And oh, the look on Chuck's face if she was to walk into that hotel room and tell him it was over. She would kill to be able to do that… quite literally.

But then reality set in. There was probably no way to get out of it now without raising suspicions. And that's the last thing she wanted to do. No, the safe thing was to stick to the original plan and get Seth to set something up with his Fulcrum boss. It was best to not get her hopes up then want it so much that she be tempted to make a stupid mistake. But at least she wouldn't have to put up with anything physical from Seth tonight. More important, she would be able to tell that to Chuck. So she forced herself to calm down as she walked down the hallway to Seth's room. As she walked up to the door, she took a deep breath, put on her dazzling smile, and knocked on the door.

By the grin on Seth's face as he opened the door, Sarah could immediately tell that his conversation had gone well. "Great news, baby," he said as he picked Sarah up and twirled her around excitedly. "My assignment is over. I have to report back to Vegas in the morning."

That wasn't great news. It was more like fantastic. "What did they say?" Sarah asked expectantly. This time the anticipation in her voice wasn't an act.

"It was so great," Seth said in a gush of emotion. "He told me that was the most competent mission that he had heard of in a long while. He told me that he was proud of me. He's never said that to me before. He said that I was being wasted and that they had some bigger things in store."

Sarah didn't want to burst his bubble. He was so proud. Well, okay, she would have loved, loved, loved to burst this prick's bubble. It just didn't fit her mission. But nobody would gush so much over this small of an accomplishment. He was being patronized for some other reason. "That's great," Sarah said with a smile. "Congratulations, baby. I'm so proud of you."

At least Seth did one thing right. "I owe a lot of it to you," he said as he took Sarah into his arms. "We make a great team. We always have." At that, Seth pressed his mouth to Sarah's for a very hungry kiss. Or at least he tried to anyway.

Sarah didn't allow the hungry part to last for more than a couple of seconds. She was expecting his hand to slide inside her blouse. So she was there waiting for it and grabbed his hand well before it got very close. There would be no second base action tonight to have to explain to Chuck. It was now time to set up phase two, the phase that would maybe make all of this angst worth it. For the first time she could see a way out of this, one that even Chuck would wholeheartedly approve of.

"Baby," Sarah said with a shy smile. Sarah Walker would rather poke her own eye out with a stick rather than call anybody baby. But that's what he liked.

"Can we talk for a minute?"

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck knew that he needed to do something to take his mind off Sarah. So he decided to go to Ellie's and pick up some more of his things. As he walked into her apartment, Ellie and Devon were sitting on the couch.

"Chuck," called Ellie in a happy voice as she got up to embrace him. "Hi. It's so good to see you. Where's Sarah?"

Chuck hated to lie to his sister. "She is at a meeting for work," Chuck said with a smile. That really wasn't a lie. "She wanted me to tell you how sorry she is that she couldn't see you." Again, not a lie.

"Aww," Ellie said with a smile. "Tell her I said that's sweet."

"You know, sis," Chuck said with a genuine laugh. "I think that the only reason she's marrying me is to become your sister."

"And don't you ever forget it," Ellie gloated with a laugh. "Chuck, I love her so much. When are we going out on the town to celebrate? Her ankle must be feeling better."

"Yeah," Chuck replied thoughtfully. "It is feeling quite a bit better."

"But I think that she is going to stay off it tonight."

x-x-x-x-x

Seth groaned as he reluctantly dropped the hand that Sarah had kept just inches away from her perfect chest. "What do you want to talk about?" he asked with a huge sigh.

"I need you to be honest with me," Sarah said softly as she led Seth to the couch and sat down beside him.

Seth nodded his head to let Sarah know to continue.

"The intelligence group that sent you here on this mission," Sarah said. "It's Fulcrum, isn't it?"

Seth was clearly trying to charm his way out of this. "Why would you say that?" he asked with a smile.

"Come on Seth," Sarah said with a large disgusted breath. "Please be honest with me here. Is it?"

"Yes," Seth finally admitted calmly. "It is. Does that bother you?"

Sarah got up and walked to the other side of the room for effect. "No, Seth," she finally responded softly. "It doesn't. As a matter of fact, I'm hoping that you will put in a good word for me. What would it take to talk you into doing that? I'd be very appreciative. I'd do anything you ask to pay you back."

"Anything?" Seth asked, clearly surprised by the offer.

"Within reason," Sarah said. "Try me."

"Come on, Sarah," Seth said. "You know what I was always asking for."

Sarah did know. She absolutely knew that sex was the currency that Seth preferred. He was the exact opposite of Chuck. She also knew the specifics of what he would ask for. She knew it before she asked. Now this making it a joke thing between her and Chuck was becoming a little fun. "Okay," she said. "Just so we understand each other, that's a skill that I've worked hard to improve. I think you're going to find that I'm now quite good at it. How many times on my knees are we talking about before we're even?"

Wow. Seth didn't know what to say. He was thinking he'd be lucky if she'd do it once. It was like pulling teeth to get her to do it in the first place. And speaking of teeth, they often came into play. She definitely had some technique issues that hopefully had been corrected. But here she was, asking how many he wanted. It was like money raining down from heaven. How many should he ask for? But Fortes fortuna adiuvat. It meant 'Fortune favors the bold'. It was the only French he knew. "I'm sticking my neck out a mile here for you, Sarah. I'm thinking ten times, of my choosing."

Sarah couldn't keep the snicker in. She actually had to cough a little to cover it. That was Seth all the way… all balls. But it would be fun playing him. "Okay," Sarah said quickly. "That would probably take a couple of weeks. I can do ten, that's fair."

Damn, she agreed far too quickly. "Wait," he said. "I wasn't finished. I need your best effort. You have to get naked creatively to get me in the mood. And after the ten times, I get one whole day of my choosing where I call every shot. I get your full, enthusiastic participation with absolutely nothing off the table."

The sparkle in Sarah's eyes was genuine for three reasons. First, it was funny watching the wheels turning in this moron's head as he tried to press his advantage, almost jumping out of his skin in anticipation. Second, get him in the mood? He woke up in the mood, went to sleep in the mood, and was in the mood at all points in between. Third, there was no way to keep Chuck from reading the transcript of this conversation even if she wanted to. The bug she had planted was picking up every word. And she didn't want to hide anything from him… but she could already see the look on his face. The idea of using sex as currency and bartering it so plainly would horrify him. She would definitely have some splaining to do. "Are your demands finished now?" she asked with a grin.

Seth nodded. "Absolutely nothing off the table," he repeated.

Sarah had to fight to keep from laughing. She knew exactly what he was thinking. Seth was going to talk Laura into joining them. Disgusting, but what the hell, it was never going to happen anyway. "Okay," she finally agreed. "Seth, you're asking for a lot. I think I know what you have in mind. I've still never done that… I would have to force myself. But baby I really need this. So okay, you have a deal. Set me up with Fulcrum and you get me on my knees giving you my very best effort for ten times of your choosing and one full day of nothing off the table. Do you think Fulcrum would be interested in me?"

"Sarah," Seth said skeptically. "Tell me something. Why on earth would you want to join Fulcrum? You're the top agent in the CIA."

"Look around," Sarah said sarcastically. "I have been babysitting a spoiled rich kid for the past year. My career is long over. I'm so sick of the agency. I've learned a lot. It's not the agency that I signed up for. It's corrupt, Seth. You wouldn't believe how corrupt it is."

Seth smiled at Sarah to continue.

"I'm so tired of it," Sarah said with a cry. "I signed up to make a difference. That's not happening. Maybe it can happen with Fulcrum. I need somebody on the inside to vouch for me. Will you help me, Seth?"

"I guess this means that we're not getting back together," Seth said.

"I still love you," Sarah said. "If that's what you're asking. But let's be honest with each other. There is no way for two Fulcrum Agents to be married. I've done a lot of thinking about this. And I know now that I'm not upset with you about the sex with Laura."

"You're not?" Seth asked in amazement.

"No, Seth," Sarah said. "I'm not. I realize now that it's just asking too much for an agent to be married and monogamous. I wouldn't be able to do it either. There are simply too many temptations we run into on the job, too many lonely nights, too many hot guys romancing you. What bothered me is the sneaking around. If we can cut that out, I think I can make you a deal."

"I'm listening," Seth said expectantly.

"Okay, Seth," Sarah said seductively with a sly smile. "I realize that I've been sort of a prude when it comes to sex. I was young and didn't know what I was doing. You tried to teach me but I fought you. I don't blame you for being frustrated and seeking out someone like Laura who was more experienced. But as long as I can trust you, I'm willing for us to be together when it works out. Sort of like you were with Laura. And when we're together, I'll dedicate myself to showing you how much I've learned. Call it an open marriage, call it friends with benefits, even call it fuck buddies if you want. Would you like that?"

"You're kidding," Seth said once he could get the words out of his mouth. "Right? I mean, who are you and what have you done with Sarah?"

"I'm competitive," Sarah said with a laugh. "You've always known that about me. And no, Seth, I'm not kidding. I should have relaxed and let you teach me more. I can't believe what I've been missing. But I've been practicing. The truth is that I've grown up. I'll bet I'm more open about sex now than you or Laura are. I'll even bet that I enjoy it more than you do. My career with the CIA was ruined because I wouldn't party with the higher ups outside of missions. I don't intend on making that same mistake with Fulcrum. I want you to make sure that you let your Fulcrum contact know that I'm going to be willing to do anything to make a good first impression, as you would say… nothing off the table. I really want this. I assume you don't mind."

"Of course not," Seth said with a sly smile. "It would actually be great for my career to deliver such a hot babe. Besides, I can't wait to see you in action. You are the sexiest thing on two legs. You do know what he'll be expecting?"

"I think that I have a pretty good idea," Sarah said. "Tell him that he'll get his money's worth."

"Sounds good," Seth said as he stood up and walked over to Sarah. "So about my payment, how about the first installment right now?

Sarah just shook her head with a grin. "You drove a hard bargain," she said. "You'll get every single one. You know that I always keep my word. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't even looking forward to it at some level. But you have to earn it. I really want this opportunity. I need you burning with anticipation until you've delivered." She walked over and picked up her bag.

"Where are you going?" Seth asked. "I thought you were going to spend the night?"

"I'm leaving," Sarah said. "You're not getting payment until you deliver me a meeting. If I climb into that bed tonight, you're going to talk me into it. Besides, I need a couple of days to prepare to drop off the grid. Where should I meet you in Vegas?"

"I'm staying at the Monte Carlo," Seth said with a disappointed look. "Why can't you just come with me tonight?"

"Seth," Sarah said as if she was talking to a small child. "I need to take care of some things here. If I go off the grid now, they'll catch me. You don't want that, right? Leave me a key at the front desk. I'll see you in two days, three tops."

"One other thing," Sarah said as she walked to the door. "When you set up the meeting with your Fulcrum contact, please don't tell them the name Sarah Walker."

"Okay," Seth said thoughtfully. "But why?"

"Sarah Walker has a reputation," Sarah said sadly. "One I really don't want to live with any more. She is an uptight hard ass who doesn't know how to have a good time. She's also had a few run-ins with Fulcrum, probably has some people who would like to take a shot at her. I'm going to be Sarah Anderson now. Please let him know that Sarah Anderson is quite the party girl. She wants to do anything it takes to make a good first impression, and a second, and if he's up to it, maybe a third."

"What am I going to do tonight?" Seth asked sadly. "Come on, Sarah. Help me out here. I'm on fire."

Sarah really didn't have to take a long look. The bulge in his pants was pretty obvious. She had to resist the temptation to do a fist pump. This had worked out perfectly. So she picked up the television remote and placed it firmly in the middle of his chest. "I can see that," she said with a giggle. "As soon as I get a meeting, I'll put out your fire. Until then, I have four words for you. Pay per view movie."

Seth watched sadly as the door closed behind her. Like he really couldn't think of watching porn all on his own.

"I should have asked her for fifty."

x-x-x-x-x

Chuck was in bed alone looking at the ceiling. He knew that he should be worried about Sarah's safety. And he was, horribly. He also knew that he should trust her, and he did. But he couldn't help wondering what she was doing at that moment. The very thought made him shake.

He suddenly realized that this was the first time that he had been alone in this bed. It was Sarah's bed after all. And this was the first night she had not been there with him.

"I miss her," he said sadly to himself as he continued to stare at the ceiling.

"That's sweet, a little sad, but very, very sweet. I missed you too. But I've only been gone for a couple of hours."

When Chuck looked over, oh my God. How did he not hear her come in? He quickly jumped off the bed to face her. "How are you here?" he asked, still stunned to see her.

Suddenly Chuck was flat on his back, back on the bed, his beautiful blonde goddess on top of him, raining fairly sloppy kisses all over his face. "There has been a change in plans," she finally was able to get out between kisses. "Contrary to popular opinion a good agent is not always on her back, you know? She's also taught to think on her feet."

"So," Chuck said hopefully. "Are you here for the night?"

"No, Chuck," Sarah said as she put her hand on his stomach and slowly slid into his sweat pants until she was holding a handful of suddenly alert little Bartowski. "I'm not here for the night."

"I'm here for the rest of my life."

x-x-x-x-x

A/N: Yeah, I understand that 'Fortes Fortuna Adiuvat' or 'Fortune favors the bold' is Latin not French. Seth is an idiot, lol.