Holy crap! An update! : O Quick! Kill it and eat its delicious flesh!

…okay, I'm finished making disturbing comments now, I think.

Shepard led Alenko and Williams through the Wards, stopping every once in a while to take in her surroundings. After twenty short breaks, Williams began to get suspicious.

"Hey, Commander." Williams narrowed her eyes slightly at her commanding officer as she whirled around.

"What do you want?" She barked back, scowling. Bitch broke her concentration…

Williams tried very hard not to grin. "You're completely lost, aren't you?"

Shepard let out a sharp snort. "I can say with 100% accuracy that I am not, in fact, lost. Know why?" She watched as her companions shook their heads. "Because I forget where I was going in the first place. Kinda hard to get lost when you're not going anywhere, now isn't it? Hah!"

"Are you serious??" Alenko replied, clearly shocked by her answer.

"Completely."

Alenko shifted uncomfortably under the stony gaze of his commander. "Oh. Well, I, uh, just thought you'd have more training in finding, you know…important things."

Shepard blinked a few times, her expression becoming rather nonchalant. "Well, I usually have a GPS or something, but I forgot to plug it in last night, so I figured I'd just wing it." She shrugged. "But seriously, I forgot what we were looking for or how we ended up here." She looked around to find that they had, at some point, wandered into the lower markets.

"You went down the stairs, ma'am." Williams replied with a snarky grimace. "Really, how did you even become a Commander?"

"You'd be amazed at where you can get if you give good-" Shepard took a moment to make a crude gesture with her hands and barely kept a straight face at Alenko's horrified reaction.

"Commander, you don't seriously mean that-"

Shepard burst out laughing. "Hell no! I got here because I'm really good at killing things!" She continued to chuckle as Alenko rubbed at his temples. "So, who are we looking for now?"

Williams let out an impatient huff. "We have to get to Dr. Michelle's clinic to find Garrus Vakarian, remember?"

"Oh! Right!" Shepard promptly turned on her heels and made a beeline for the stairs. "I remember walking past that on my way to wherever the hell it was I was going that one time when I walked past there."

"Good to know." Williams replied, muttering something less friendly under her breath.

"Holy crap! You're Shepard! Hey Shepard! Over here!"

The three of them watched, dumbfounded, as the man standing at the top of the stairs waved them over, even though they were all of five feet away from him. Shepard spared a quick, confused glance over her shoulder before tentatively approaching the man.

"Uh…can I help you?"

"Oh man! It really is you!" The man quickly rearranged his hair and smoothed down the wrinkles in his shirt before offering his hand. "I'm Conrad Verner! It's an honour to meet you, Shepard!"

Shepard paused for a moment before grasping his hand in a quick handshake, making sure to squeeze a little too hard and making a mental note to buy hand sanitizer. Nevermind the fact that she was wearing gloves. "Yeah. Thanks, I guess." She was about to walk away when the man started talking again.

"I heard about what you did on Eden Prime." He pointed a finger at her and she cocked an eyebrow in confusion at the gesture. "They said you killed hundreds of geth!"

Shepard shrugged. "I guess so. The whole incident is a bit hazy."

"Why?" Conrad furrowed his brows in concern. "Did you have flashbacks to Akuze?"

"What the hell are you talking about? I was never on Akuze." Shepard shot him a disturbed glance before continuing. "Anyway, I blame the haziness on that stupid Prothean beacon and its mind rape and subsequent explosion. The whole ordeal was rather unpleasant, I'll admit." She rubbed her head and frowned slightly. "And blunt force trauma to the head never gets easier to deal with."

There was a moment of silence where Conrad just stared at her. "…oh." There was another awkward silence. "Hey, can I have your autograph?"

"Sure! But if I find out that you used my signature for purchasing something or anything like that and I'll hunt you down, reach down your throat, and pull your intestines out your mouth!" She tittered lightly as she signed her name and handed it back to Conrad. "Stay out of trouble now, you hear me?" She clicked her tongue, winked, and pointed a finger at him before wandering off. She finally let the fake smile fall from her face as soon as she was out of earshot of the man. "I hope I never have to deal with that again."

They quickly made their way to the clinic, where they were greeted by closed doors. Shepard pursed her lips. "I really wish we had flashbangs."

Alenko shot her a confused look. "What?"

"Eh, nevermind." She pulled her assault rifle off her back, and the other two followed suit. "On three: one, two….five!"

"Three, ma'am!" Williams barked, clearly not impressed. "That's the number that comes after two."

Shepard smacked the palm of her hand to her forehead. "Way to ruin the reference, Williams. Punishment will be riding the elevator for two hours straight. You begin after we clear this clinic up." She ignored Williams' horrified stare as she opened the clinic door and held her assault rifle at the ready. There were two thugs standing threateningly in front of the doctor, and probably more off to the hiding behind some random crates shoved into the back corner of the room. Shepard thought that was a bit odd, along with the turian skulking behind the half wall that divided the room. but there was nothing she could do about it at the moment.

"Now, if Garrus comes around, you keep your mouth shut or you'll-" The man suddenly noticed the three heavily armed people in the doorway. He grabbed Dr. Michelle as he pulled his pistol out and pointed it at Shepard. "Who are you?!"

"James Dean!" Shepard yelled back, obviously flustered. It was all for the best, however, because her answer caused the thug to cock his head to the side at just the right angle for Garrus to make a clean shot. The thug fell to the floor in a heap, Dr. Michelle looked like she was about to have a mental breakdown, and three other thugs opened fire on Shepard's team. They quickly took cover behind the half wall, where Williams took the opportunity to give her commanding offer an incredulous look.

"James Dean?"

"Shut up, Williams! Make that three hours in the elevator now!" Shepard barked back as she took one of the thugs out with a couple of shots to the chest. Getting rather bored of the whole shooting thing, she chucked a grenade over her shoulder and set it off. The blast took out the remaining two thugs, but left the crates completely intact. Odd.

They did a quick sweep of the room to make sure it was secure before approaching Garrus and Dr. Michelle, both of whom were just hanging out in the corner of the room like nothing had happened.

"Perfect timing, Shepard." Garrus did the weird pointing thing, just like Conrad had. She was beginning to suspect that it was a Citadel thing. "You gave me a clear shot at that bastard."

Shepard shrugged and scraped some flesh off the bottom of her boot. "Yeah. I do what I can. Good thing you took him down clean." She spared a glance at the carnage behind her. "Not speaking literally, of course."

"Sometimes you get lucky." Garrus replied before he turned to Dr. Michelle. "Dr. Michelle, are you hurt?"

She rubbed the back of her head and sighed. "No, I'm okay thanks to you. All of you."

"And James Dean." Alenko quipped as he tried not to smirk. Any joviality in the situation was quickly put to rest as he took in the smouldering gaze of rage directed at him by Shepard.

"You want to spend time in the elevators too?" She seemed satisfied as he shook his head silently, and she returned her attention to the doctor. "Why were they threatening you? Who do they work for?? Talk, bitch!" Shepard raised her hand as if to backhand the doctor before she caught herself and lowered her arm with an apologetic shrug. "Sorry. I got carried away."

Dr. Michelle flinched and gave Shepard a wary glare. "They work for Fist. They wanted to shut me up and stop me from telling Garrus about the quarian."

"Does she have something that will help in the investigation against Saren?" Shepard asked, duly intrigued. Garrus nodded.

"I think it might. Dr. Michelle," he turned to face the doctor once more, "tell us what happened."

The doctor hunched up her shoulders. "It was a dark and stormy night in the Wards. The corridors were completely deserted, and the emptiness left the bitter taste of darkness in my throat. That's when I felt it…something evil was coming. I-"

"Oh, cut the theatrical bullshit and get to the point, or I will backhand you!" Shepard growled, raising her hand once more. The doctor flinched once again and sighed.

"Fine. A quarian came by my office a few days ago. She was shot, but wouldn't tell me who did it. She was scared, and probably on the run." Dr. Michelle did the weird pointing thing, and Shepard furrowed her brow in annoyance. She was starting to get sick of everyone pointing at her. She pushed those thoughts aside as the doctor continued blabbing. "She wanted to know about the Shadow Broker. She said she wanted to trade information for a safe place to hide, so I put her in contact with Fist. He was an agent for the Shadow Broker."

"Not anymore. Now he works for Saren." Garrus cut in. "And the Shadow Broker isn't too happy about it."

"Wait…Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker?" Dr. Michelle sneered. "That stupid, even for him!"

"Yeah yeah, blah blah evidence against Saren blah yak yak something to do with the geth. I got it, I got it." Shepard huffed impatiently. "I think it's time we paid a visit to Foot."

"You mean Fist?" Williams asked while raising an eyebrow.

"Hey. You can correct me after you've been mind raped by a Prothean beacon, okay?" That seemed to shut her up.

"Look Shepard, I know this is your show, but I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you!"

Shepard gave Garrus a scrutinizing look before grinning evilly. "Why, it just so happens that there's an opening in the team." She turned to give Williams a nasty glare. "Have fun on the elevators. Return to the Normandy when you're finished." She watched for a few moments as the other woman stalked out of the room, then turned back to Garrus with a smile. "Welcome aboard, Garrus."

He nodded and shifted his weight uneasily. "You know, we aren't the only ones after Fist. The Shadow Broker hired a krogan bounty hunter to take him out."

"Hmm…" Shepard tapped her chin thoughtfully. "A krogan might come in handy. I hear they're good at…uh…stuff. You know, things." She glanced around the room awkwardly. Thankfully, Garrus didn't seem to care that his new commanding officer was acting rather strangely.

"Last I heard, he was at the C-Sec academy. Fist accused him of making threats, so we brought him in there for a little talk. If you hurry you can catch him at the academy before he leaves."

"I guess that's our next destination then." Shepard rubbed her eyes and sighed. "Let's move out."

Meh. That's all I feel like writing. Review or whatever. :V