Still AU.
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Balin gave a heavy sigh, and once again wondered how this all happened, and when it had gone all wrong. Thorin was alive but in a coma. Fili was insane, so that left Kili to rule, and Kili, well…he was just a lad. He had no idea what he was doing. The past week had dragged on for him, exhausting him and wishing for the peace of the Blue Mountains. They had taken the mountain back, but there was still a lot of work to be done. Already dwarves were arriving from the Iron Hills, looking for refuge in their capital and for work in the mining shafts. Balin had put Bofur in charge of the miners, and that had eased his plate but not by much. And Bombur-
"Balin! Balin hurry!" a voice cried out, and Balin looked up to see Kili looking down at him from the rooms in which Fili was currently being kept.
"What is it?" Balin asked, quickening his step as he ran up the stairs two by two. Fili had been…..dificult to deal with ever since they released him from the vault. He had spent three days in the dark, gasping for air and breathing in the fumes of coal and dragon fire. In the absence of light, darkness had prevailed, overpowering him and conquering his soul. Some days were good, some days were bad. He had a few lucid moments, enough to know where he was and whom he was with. Sometimes he would sit up, and eat, and talk with Kili but other times it was like he was in his own world of chaos and darkness. He huddled in the corner, murmuring to himself, clutching his short hair. Chanting things from his childhood, rambling on about stories that never happened.
It was mostly the latter now.
Balin knew that being trapped in the darkness was only the beginning. Thorin had cut off his hair. He might as well have raped Fili. It would have been less of a shameful act than what Thorin did. Balin had lived in the Blue Mountains, and served his time in the court of justice. Dwarves had no prisons, as they always valued their honor over anything else. A thief would have his hand cut off, a gossip would be sentenced to a week with a muzzle, an adulterer would have his forehead branded with an A. The worst punishment though, a punishment only suited for the worst crimes-rape, murder, child molestation—was cutting off the hair. A dwarf would rather have both hands cut off than have his hair cut short. It was a public symbol of shame. No dwarf with short hair was respected, as all knew what he had done to have it cut. There were colonies of short haired dwarves, called the Barzûl*, the cursed destined to misery and dishonor on the boarders of the mountain. Death was the better option.
At least, that was what Fili grew up knowing.
Now, everything was different. Fili was the first dwarf in a long time who's short hair did not indicate his crimes. It had been an accident, a terrible accident but that didn't stop the other from looking at the blonde prince with disdain and distrust.
"What is it?" Balin asked again, reaching the room and stepping inside.
"skilf eta zeitmen, skilf eta zeitmen, skilf eta zeitmen…..**" a low whispered mantra carried over the room from the corner under the bed. An overturned breakfast tray lay on the floor, it's contents scattered. Balin looked up and saw Kili his hands shaking and covered in…..blood?
"what happened?" Balin asked, hurrying over to Kili, looking at his hands, and looking for the source of all the blood.
"He was….he managed to get something sharp and he attacked me, as I came inside with breakfast…I cant get him out., he still has it….." he trailed off, and Balin followed Kili's gaze to where Fili was hiding underneath the bed.
"Well, we certainly cant have him under there all day. Did he hurt you?" Balin asked
Kili nodded and showed Balin his cut palm. Balin sighed.
"Go down to Oin. He will help you. I will try to talk to your brother." Balin said
"But-."
"Oh, and if you run into Dwalin send him up, I may need assistance."
"Okay…."
Kili knew he was dismissed, he sat up from the bed and walked out of the room. Balin waited until his footsteps were gone, and then he walked slowly over to where Fili was hiding.
"Fili, lad?" he asked
"skilf eta zeitmen, skilf eta zeitmen, skilf eta zeitmen…." The mantra continued from the vicinity of the bed.
"You know, your Kuzedul gets a lot better when you're upset." Balin said, with a small smile. He knelt down and lifted up the blankets. Fili was curled up in the corner, knees tucked up to his chest, hands gripping his painfully short hair. A glint of light reflected off of a butter knife that was held in his hand, and Balin berated himself for allowing the lad to come within arms length of such a weopen. He was out of reach; Balin would need to move the bed to get to him if he refused to come.
Balin waited patiently for a lull in the mantra, and then reached to touch a bare foot. Fili's breath hitched at he peered at him through his fingers, his blue eyes shining under the short ringlets of hair.
"Hi there, Fili. Good to see you. Things would be much better though, if you were to come out from under there." Balin said
Fili flinched at his name, but the mantra continued.
"No one is going to hurt you. It's just me in here. Why don't you hand over that knife and we'll get you back to bed." Balin tried.
This time Fili stared at him, a glimmer of recognition in his blue eyes.
"Balin?" he asked in a breathless whisper
"Yes lad."
"Balin. Balin. They come at me…. with hot swords… and steaming plates…glaring….asking why and saying my name over and over and over and over and over-."
"Fili. Fili it's okay. No one wants to hurt you. Why don't you give me that knife."
Fili shook his head, "It's mine. It was a present. It's mine. It's mine. It was a present."
"Who gave it to you?" Balin asked.
"The mice. They brought it to me on little furry legs and skittered about the room, over my legs and into my bed."
"The mice?"
"Yes. The little mice that rule under this kingdom."
"Ah. I see. Well, it looks like a very nice present. May I see it?" he asked
Fili hesitated.
"I will give it back, I promise."
Balin heard a quiet hurrumph and looked up to see Dwalin staring down at him.
"The mice?" he mouthed.
Balin nodded, and then shrugged. It was new to him too. He turned his attention back to Fili, who had crawled close enough to scoot the knife towards Balin. As soon as the knife was in reaching distance though, Fili shrank back to his corner.
"Lad, this is a stellar butter knife. Made from the finest of mouse hands, I can assure you. Now, my dear friend and brother Dwalin is here-Dwalin say hello-."
Dwalin knelt down and peered under the bed. Fili's eyes darted back and forth between them but didn't say anything.
"I'm going to let Dwalin take a look at this marvelous present of yours. Is that okay?" Balin asked
Fili nodded quietly.
Balin handed the butter knife to Dwalin, who looked at it expertly before standing back up and—making sure he was out of the lad's line of site—putting it safely in his pocket.
"We'll have to watch what the kitchen staff give him from now on. Only spoons, if we can manage." Dwalin whispered.
Balin nodded. "Good thinking. Now, how should we go about this? He cant stay under there all day."
"Did he threaten anybody with his knife?" Dwalin asked
Balin nodded, "Stabbed Kili, apparently."
"That's not good. Not good at all."
"I know. What do you suppose we do?"
Dwalin shifted his weight from one leg to the other, and then his eyes laid on the leather restraints that rested on top of the bed sheets. Balin followed his gaze.
"Kili hates it, when we have to truss him up like that." He said
"I know, but it's the only way to make sure he—and everyone around him-stays safe. We cannot have him running amok in the mountain brandishing knives, no matter how small they are." Dwalin answered.
Balin sighed, he hated seeing Fili like this. He had practically raised the lad in Ered Luin, he had been teaching him and his brother since they were babies.
He met the eyes of his brother.
"I'll move the bed, and you'll grab him. Strap his arms down first and then I'll get his legs." He said
Dwalin nodded.
"On the count of three." He said
"One….two…..thr-."
With a burst of energy, Fili came scrambling out from under the bed. Dwalin grabbed him around the waist and hurled him onto the bed.
"His arms, grab his arms!" Dwalin shouted as he wrestled with a struggling Fili.
Balin quickly took the leather straps and secured Fili's wrists to the bed, and then moved on to the ankles. Fili wined and struggled harder once he realized what they were doing, but the straps held him down. Dwalin secured the last strap—a leather band across his chest and then stepped back.
Fili struggled, his eyes seeing things only they could see. He whipped his head back and forth, cursing a mixture of kuzzedul and westron and puling against the restraints. Balin reached over and put a firm hand on Fili's leg, above the restrain.
"Fili. Fili it's okay. Just calm down. Breath in, and breath out. No one is going to hurt you." He said.
Eventually, Fili's struggles stopped and he lay still, chest moving up and down rapidly. His eyes went back and forth between Balin and Dwalin.
"There ya' go. Just breath. Its going to be okay." Balin said, watching him. Fili closed his eyes and then opened them again.
"Kili?" he asked
"Kili will be here soon, don't you worry."
Fili's brow furrowed, like he was trying to remember something important.
"I saw red. There was red on Kili. His hands. Was he painting?" he asked
Balin nodded while Dwalin shook his head.
"Kili is fine. He'll be here soon." Balin said.
Fili then struggled to sit up, eyes panicked, "Thorin. Uncle Thorin. It's his birthday, I need to get him a present."
Balin tried very hard not to role his eyes, this—unlike the mice—was not knew. Fili always said this, especially when he was restrained. It seemed to be his way of telling them he wanted to get up.
"Wait just a few more moments, Fili. Have you eaten today?" Balin asked
Fili shrugged his shoulders.
"You got him-oh." A voice made Balin turn. Kili was back, his hand in white bandages.
"We had to, lad. Just for now. They'll come off as soon as hes calmed down some." Dwalin added.
Kili forced a smile and Balin knew he hated seeing his brother like this.
"Can I?" Kili asked, pointing to the bed.
"I don't see the harm of it. I'll be over there, by the desk if you need anything." Balin said.
"Ill take my leave too, maybe go find out about his mice business is anything other than his rabbiting." Dwalin muttered, still holding the butter knife.
Balin watched him go, and then turned back to look at the lads.
Kili had pulled over a chair, and was sitting next his his brother. His dark hair was cascading over his face. Their eyes were locked, and Balin smiled a heavy smile.
Atleast they still had each other to hang onto.
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*Cursed
**I have no honor
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