It had been a very long time since I was taken so deep in to Sohma house. From the outside it would seem like nothing but an innocuous traditional Japanese array of houses. But it was set up as a maze of prisons. Stifling windowless rooms and choked courtyards meant to give those trapped here an illusion of freedom. I was here only a few times before, most notably when I was taken to the elders to decide my fate. The only thing that saved me from having my memory wiped was my status as an Utaji, which were just as if not more rare than the zodiac members. Most of the others are much older than me, I met them that day too where I saw my inevitable future. The fate of a caged songbird.
Traditional Japanese music is always required at the Zodiac Banquet for the dance. The only guests are the members of the Zodiac, no family or friends. Only this black chain link of fate. Young Makoto will be administering the ceremony for the first time. I am to meet with her and be officially inducted into their little band of second-bests.
I was brought before the head elder. I don't think I ever learned her name, but she was always the one who managed things and scowled at me when she thought I wasn't upholding the Sohma family image or something.
"The time has come, Utaji. At the request of your foster mother, you were allowed a normal childhood to develop your abilities on your own." The elder said resolutely, hardly even looking at me. "Your private tutor at Kobayashi has many good things to say about you." Her steely gaze finally fell on me. "Naturally you will be our new singer, and you will be further instructed in traditional vocal techniques."
I nodded bleakly, refraining from voicing my very colourful opinions.
"Presently, you will be taken to see Kotoko, the Hashiji put in charge of the Utaji." I was then led even deeper into Sohma house. The dark inner corridors where few ever ventured, though beyond their knowledge, I had been here once before. That memory pricked to my mind, causing me to shudder. I was directed to a room and left there at the closed door. I swallowed, opening the sliding door whilst announcing my presence.
"Welcome, Kanae-san. You have the most musical voice." She turned to me with a milky stare. "Please, sit down." She gestured to the mat across from her.
Kotoko was born blind, that much I knew, and she was always small, but with an oddly menacing presence. She wore an ornate traditional Kimono that was much too big for her, and her pitch-black hair was cut straight and short around her face.
"It is and honour to meet you, Kotoko-sama." I said as I sat down.
She raised a hand. "Please, no need for the honorific. -san is just fine."
"Yes, Kotoko-san."
She tilted her head to the side and smiled, a bit creepily if I may add. "I am so glad that you will be able to join us this year. We have gone far too long without a proper singer. Aiko's passing was tragic, though she did do her best up until her final days."
"So I heard." I remarked.
"I'm sure that you will do wonderfully. Soon you will meet the other Utaji, I'm sure they will be thrilled to finally meet you." I nodded. She brought me into an adjacent room, where four other people, each holding a traditional instrument sat.
"Please allow me to introduce you." She first gestured to a late middle-aged man. "This is Hisoka-kun, our Shamisen player." He nodded in greeting. "Our Koto master is Shigemi-san." A woman who looked like she jumped out of an Ukiyo-e painting smiled at me. "On the Biwa Lute is Tomomi-kun." He was probably not much older than 20, and had a kind look in his eyes. "And lastly, Yoh-san, who plays the Shakuhachi." She smiled. "Everyone, this is Kanae-san who will be our new singer." Everyone applauded lightly or smiled, everyone that is, besides Yoh. She was a pensive-looking girl about my age. I didn't know that there was anyone else that age besides Kotoko and me.
Kotoko smiled again. "Now that everyone is here, I believe we can begin rehearsal now."
I smiled again, sitting down between Shigemi and Tomomi.
"Welcome, my dear." Shigemi said quietly. I couldn't quite tell her age through the thick traditional white make-up. "I am truly so glad, and I am sure that you will do Aiko-san proud."
"Did you ever get a chance to meet her?" Tomomi asked.
"Yes," I replied. "When I was very young, when they first discovered my abilities."
Tomomi nodded. "Same with me, I met my predecessor Kei-san then too, though I was initiated a little younger than you were. You're about to enter high school, right? Where will you be attending?" The politeness was searing. They all had unnaturally bleached-write auras. Like someone had come and scraped out their souls.
"I will be going to Kobayashi Prepatory."
"Is that what they're calling it now?" Hisoka asked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Uh, yes. I assume you're referring how it used to be just the Sohma Boy's school."
He nodded. "Yes, I went there when I was a boy, long ago now." Odd, he didn't seem that old.
"So, you will be taking private music lesson, I assume?" Tomomi asked.
"Yes, with Kusunoki-sensei."
Hisoka chuckled. "Ahh…I remember when she was my student. Couldn't hold a pitch to save her life!" The other two joined in laughing. It was a dead, hollow sound than made me feel even worse.
I turned my eyes to Yoh-san, who hadn't said a single word, or really even looked up.
"Uh, Yoh-san," I began.
Shigemi leaned over to me. "Yoh-san is a deaf-mute, and also a bit antisocial to top it off. She never really makes any communicative gestures, besides playing that flute."
I did my best to extend my senses to see what she was feeling, but she too was scraped-clean and blank.
I swallowed, a sense of foreboding falling over me. Was it inevitable that I would become like them soon? Hardly even a person anymore?
The days passed swiftly as the Banquet approached. Everyone on the Sohma inside was somehow roped into the preparations at one point or another. Making new-years cakes, preparing decorations, or repairing the old costumes that needed to be used again. I was thankfully busy, as my life outside of this place was not really much that I relished either. At least this seemed just a tad less hollow.
On the day of the banquet, all went as expected. Misaki fretted for hours over my hair, and making sure that I wore my Kimono properly. By the end of it my scalp was sore and I had markedly less mobility.
As I did before, I mingled with the other guests before the Zodiac banquet. I met with Haru a few times, with him giving me constant updates.
"Shigure just arrived, alone."
"And I care why?"
"That means Yuki and Kyou are skipping."
"Again, why should I care."
He shrugged. "I just thought you would want to know, since your own brother is going to miss your Debut."
"I honestly don't care. It's not a big deal. The same songs have been sung at the Banquet for years. He'll probably hear me sing plenty of times in the future."
He looked at me blankly, in just the right way that it started to piss me. It pissed me off because I was suddenly calm, and couldn't do anything about it.
We were called into the Zodiac dining hall, where the festivities would commence. The coming year was the year of the Rabbit, and young Momiji was to perform a dance accordingly.
I met eyes with no one and did as was required of me.
I opened my mouth to let the voice of the spirits out. A high mournful sound of ambiguous key and cadence; wandering and lilting to the end of the phrase where the drums and strings began.
My eyes closed as the colour of the music blinded me. There were flashes of vibrant hues, until eventually it all just went white. That same foreboding pristine emptiness I felt from the other Utaji. I stumbled, my phrase ending abruptly and my vision turned to normal. The others looked at me worriedly, but with a distance. They were lost as I once was.
The song wasn't over, so I had to pick it up, but I changed enough notes so that I would see that place again.
I didn't know if it was a spell or what. I didn't care, all I know is that I was scared. The last thing I ever wanted was to become like the others. Blank sheep with nothing to live for but this twisted tradition.
The dance concluded. Momiji bowed and waved ecstatically, we were not acknowledged. We were hardly more than window dressings.
For a brief time after the song and dance, the other Utaji and I were allowed to sit with the Zodiac members for the first course of the meal. I was mostly silent, keeping to myself. Even Momiji was refraining from attacking me, but he did approach me after he finished his dance in a joyous fashion.
It was decidedly not a fun experience for me. 11 stifled, dark, putrid auras all in the same place, Akito's being the worst. But, as I thought about it more, that number seemed wrong. I recounted over and over again. Picking out each individual and even naming them. There was one who slipped my mind, because he slipped everyone's mind. Akito's personal "Assistant" Kureno. The only member of the Zodiac who I have never had any personal contact with. He was always secreted away, and only ever showed his face at the New Year's banquet, and even then only to Zodiac members and those like me and Kotoko.
I caught sight of him through the crowd, hoping he wasn't too far away for me to sense. But, I wasn't familiar with his Aura, so I had no way to be sure. I had an impossible thought, and had to be sure of it.
Our course of the meal was coming to the end, so I quietly excused myself, opting to take the long way around the table to the exit. I stood up swiftly, trying to avoid eye-contact with anyone. I couldn't have any distractions. I calculated my path amongst the servants and variously sprawled dinner guests, until I neared the head of the table where Kureno sat. Akito had left briefly as part of the ceremony for introducing the main course. It was God after all who was to offer this bounty to his beloved Zodiac.
My footsteps were small and quiet, until I purposely skewed my footing, causing me to slam into a servant and then crash into Kureno's back. I put on the required façade of stuttered apologies as I scooted away. Thankfully, he did as I calculated. He stood up from the matt where he was standing, and offered me a polite hand up. I was thankful that Akito was gone otherwise I could be in danger. He was notably possessive of his Zodiac, especially Kureno.
"Sorry miss, are you alright?"
I nodded, taking his hand.
It was all I could do to refrain from crying out as my impossible thought was proven.
Kureno's curse was broken.