ALRIGHT SO. A little late on this one I know but I've been having a crazy couple of weekends specifically and yeah.
Anyways there's not a whole ton to talk about with this chapter. The last chapter again got some great feedback and I hope to actually begin replying to your reviews soon.
Hope you all have fun and enjoy the new chapter!
Dib had cracked it. He was sure this would be satisfactory for Zim's ridiculously high strung... stringyness. He had spent all week thinking on the rewards he could hand to the tiny alien and at several points concluded that nothing aside from some giant laser beam would make him happy.
However after some serious thought he felt as though he had something the alien would at least be pleased with. Two gifts actually. The first had been pretty easy, after all, it had been Zim's favourite thing about his house. The second was a risk but if Zim accepted it, it could provide some very useful insights into the tiny alien. He patted the plastic bag on his desk and smiled. Yes, he was sure Zim would appreciate the gifts.
The setting was all too familiar. Dib's chilly, damp office on a chilly, damp Thursday afternoon. The clock ticking down to the very moment the door would swing open and, as always, Zim would walk in with some annoyed look on his face to rant about something or another.
And yet the moment the door opened Dib had to stop himself from bursting into laughter. Zim walked in with the usual irritation written all over his green face but it were his clothes which caused Dib to bite his lip. The weather had been turning colder as the autumn had vanished into a swift and bitter winter. It seemed that Zim had decided to go with the changes and as such he was wearing a weirdly puffy red jacket and a black scarf around his neck.
That was fine. It was his hat which was the funniest thing.
It was a purple moose hat. There was no other way around it. It sat on top of his head, his wig awkwardly poking out from under it, poking out with large brown fluffy antlers on either side and some big googly eyes stitched onto the front of it.
On any other kid it would just look like a cute, slightly festive hat. On the perma-grump that was Zim however it looked absolutely ridiculous.
Zim walked over to the chair and sat down. Dib was seriously gripping his desk as he looked at the insanely silly hat.
The alien sighed. "Fiiiiiiine. Go ahead, Dib-stink."
Dib immediately broke out into a very poorly muffled laugher as he tried to keep him mirth under control. Zim however just looked pissed and pouted so much his bottom lip was in real danger of falling off. "Oh yes, laugh it up, human. This is just DOOMING your planet even more! WITH EVERY LAUGH YOU BRING THE DOOMENING."
"I'm sorry!" Dib finally managed to giggle out. "But what in the heck possessed you to wear that hat?"
"Gir. Gir possessed me." He sank even further into his chair and whipped the hat off his head, throwing it onto the desk. "He assured me hats around this time of your planet's pathetic seasons was normal. He also claimed that humans enjoy moose-creatures." He made a little growling noise and mumbled something about re-booting him again.
"Well he wasn't wrong exactly." Dib added with a chuckle, his laugher finally dying down. "But next time, just get something more sensible and less... antler-y?"
"... sure." Zim growled out, still avoiding Dib's gaze.
"Alright, so, did you think about what we talked about last week?" Dib had to admit he had been pretty eager to find out the answer. Zim's whole thing was invading and conquering and defeating people. It had been thrust onto him his entire life. But if you took that idea from him, what would he willingly choose to become?
Needless to say the answer was not one he had been expecting.
"I was programmed to be a frycook."
"You... what?" The laugher had been utterly drained from the counsellor now. "You were... programmed to be a frycook?"
"Yes." Zim gritted his teeth tightly. "But that was a mistake. I realised it once Operation Impending Doom Two was announced. Clearly I was supposed to be an Invader all along."
Dib was actually reeling from this. Zim literally had no choice in his life. None. He hadn't just been told to become something, he'd been programmed to become something. Dib had long since gathered that the weird little backpack Zim always had on was some kind of bio-mechanical device to help him in his mission but now as he glanced to the flash of silver and purple on Zim's back his stomach was hit with a horrible gnawing feeling that it was something far more sinister than that.
Dib sighed softly and rubbed his temple, brushing aside his concern for the moment. "Okay... but that wasn't my question."
"What? Zim answered your smelly question! I demand my reward!" Zim's shrill voice almost hurt his ears, however, Dib simply shook his head.
"No. My question was what would you, you personally, would like to do." He let a weary smile cross his lips. "I get the feeling you didn't much enjoy being a frycook."
Zim was silent and slowly he looked away. It was obvious he wanted to say something but the irken's natural resilience to revealing anything about himself was getting in the way. And yet just as Dib was about to open his mouth to encourage him, something rather amazing happened.
Zim spoke on his own, without any pushing whatsoever.
"My first assignment... it was to a weapon development lab." Zim's voice was... odd. He wasn't sad, and yet, there was a strange longing in his voice. As if he truly, honestly missed those days. "I worked under the best and brightest minds in our entire Empire. I... I really liked that assignment. Almost as much as being an invader."
The counsellor was blown away. This was the first real time Zim had started speaking, telling him his feelings, without Dib having to pry it out of him with a freakin' crowbar.
"Why?" Dib asked as he linked his fingers together and leaned forward onto his desk.
"Why?" The irken looked to Dib sharply. "What do you mean, why?"
"Why did you enjoy the job so much?" The counsellor smiled. "Was it the people?t The research?"
Zim was quiet and Dib could tell that the irken was considering the question carefully. "When I worked there... I was left to work on my own. I was told to think up ideas and make things to please the Tallest. I... could make anything I wanted," There was a tiny pause, "As long as it was a weapon. But my weapons were the best!" He smiled slowly. He suddenly laughed maniacally. "No other invader can match the creative DOOM of Zim!"
The counsellor sat back. Okay, this was not the way he wished Zim had phrased the answer but it was still an interesting answer.
Without any urging, Zim continued to rant on. "They all use boring and reliable methods to achieve their victories but Zim REFUSES to follow their STUPID rules! I will achieve conquest through MY OWN HAND!" And he held his hand up in the air, wagging it about eagerly.
"So you're saying you liked designing things?" Dib mused calmly in the face of Zim's usual loud shouting.
"Not just designing." Zim quickly corrected. "Studying and analysing and doing SCIENCE! I will learn all there is to learn about my enemy and then find the most doom-y way to doom his doomed head."
Dib's smile twitched. He had found it. The path to redeeming the irken invader. And of all things it was science. If his father knew Dib would never, ever hear the end of it.
"Have you ever tried, I dunno," Dib shrugged and hoped it didn't look too obvious. "Using science to study something you actually want to study?"
Zim paused. This idea seemed completely baffling to him. "... what do you mean? I just told you I enjoy using science for the doom, Dib-stink. The DOOM!"
"But before then you said you liked using science to make things for yourself. You can study and research and learn. You can-"
"I CANNOT!" Zim snapped suddenly. "I am programmed for a purpose! My purpose is to destroy and conquer and that's ALL I will do!"
"You can't program someone, Zim! Not even your leaders can do that!" Dib quickly countered. "You said yourself you don't follow their rules. You do things your own way!"
"That- I- YOU ARE LYING!" Zim stood up on the chair, pointing at him. "I NEVER SAID THAT!"
"You said that less than five minutes ago." Dib refused to raise his voice, he couldn't keep matching Zim's shouting with more shouting. "Look, just listen for just a moment, will you?"
Zim gritted his teeth but obeyed.
"You told me that you like using science to create things. That's good! You need to do more of that but not because your leaders told you so. Because you want to do so. You should make something you want to make for yourself. Something important to you." He smiled slowly. "Consider it homework."
"I don't do homework."
"Do this homework." Dib frowned at the irken. "Because I'm asking you to do so. Not telling, asking."
"... If I receive my rewards, perhaps I will consider this request." Zim held his claw-like hands out. "Gimmie."
Dib rolled his eyes. He supposed the session was almost over anyway. "Alright, here you go." And from the plastic bag he had kept them in he withdrew a book and a video game. Handing them over to the alien had announced. "First is that Destroy All Humans game you enjoyed so much." Zim immediately snatched it up with a wide grin. However before he could comment Dib added. "The next is this." And he held out a book titled 'An Illustrated Guide to Myths and Legends'.
At this Zim looked confused. He took the book gingerly. "What is this?"
"It's a book." The counsellor spoke with a small smile. "It's about the myths and legends of humankind's ancient cultures from all over the world. I thought you might enjoy learning something that wasn't just all science and fact for once."
"It's a book of lies?" Zim opened the book and his eyes scanned the inner pages. "What use to me is this?"
"Give it a try, really, you'd be surprised what you can learn from things that aren't true."
Zim seemed to weigh this in his head before shrugging and shoving the game and book into his backpack-device. Dib really needed to ask about that in the next session. "Fine, Dib-stink. I shall study the lessons of this Myths and Legends text. Perhaps within is the secret to mankind's destruction." He hopped off the chair and put the moose hat back on his head.
"Don't forget the homework!"
"Whatever!" Zim snapped back without even looking over to Dib. "You are lucky you have the bound honor of Zim, human!"
Dib had to chuckle at that. Zim's honor may be a little twisted but he had yet to truly fail one of Dib's little tasks.
As the door closed shut the counsellor leaned back heavily into his chair. The session had revealed a few more things about Zim that didn't seem to fit into the narrative of his people. They were all programmed to obey the Tallest, to all work in their one position forever and always. And yet Zim seemed to do things so differently. They had sent him to Earth because he was supposedly useless but at one point they'd had him using his scientifically-inclined mind to their own benefit.
Something didn't fit here. Sure Zim was loud, irritating and rash but he wasn't stupid. Even the most authoritarian of leaders didn't just send their most creative people to the corners of the universe for nothing. He also couldn't help but consider the way Zim had spoken about being 'programmed' to do his job and the realisation he had made concerning that bizarre metal backpack that was always on Zim's back.
Dib needed to find out just what it was... and why he had such a strong feeling it was somehow connected to so many of Zim's problems.
Well there we have it folks! Looks like Dib is slowly starting to put the final pieces together as to why Zim behaves the way he does. He only needs to get some info on Zim's PAK... how he does that though is left until next week!
Again I'm being terrible on references because yeah, but again Destroy All Humans is being mentioned because why not.
Anyways, leave me some feedback and thoughts and tell me what you liked or didn't like or things you would like to see more of or even suggest some references I can throw into the chapters as I write them.
Till next time dear readers!