(a/n) So I'm probably only going to be updating once a week now. As I originally intended. Chapter 16 is no where near done, but I didn't want to be gone for more than a week, lest that length of time become so long that you all forget about me!

Please enjoy, review please!

It was Friday, but I didn't go to school, at the behest of Tohru and her inevitable panic attack if I over-exerted myself. I spent most of the day sleeping as Hatori insisted.
That afternoon, when the others returned from school, I somehow found it in myself to get up and eat a small early dinner with Yuki, Kyou and Tohru. Shigure thankfully had gone out for most of the day. Though I wasn't assured in his motives, I was grateful enough. Shigure's Aura had to be the worst, second only to Akito. I could at least stand the others. Tohru still perplexed me thoroughly. I was intrigued to learn more about her.

"Kanae-san, I'm glad to see that you're doing better." She smiled as she finally sat down with us after buzzing about in the kitchen for what seemed like hours. We had all mostly finished eating already.

"Yeah, thanks. Your cooking really helps. It tastes like actual food." I gave her a polite smile, before slurping the remains of the stew she made.

Kyou was mostly silent. Slumped on the other side of the table. Yuki was smiling gently as he sipped his tea. Like I had heard, Tohru had really helped them. Yuki was at least at the moment, clearer than he had ever been. Kyou was still a mess, but…a better mess.

"Tohru-san," I began, "I've only heard rumours about you up until now. So I hope you can clear some things up."

"Of course!" She said sunnily.

I picked up my tea. Letting it warm my hands. "Is it true that you lived in a tent?"

I felt the air in the room suddenly become strangely tense.

"Y-yes, I did. Until, a landslide destroyed it, and Shigure-san was kind enough to let me stay here!"

Hearing "Kind" and "Shigure" in the same sentence always made me a tiny bit nauseous. "Is that so?"

"And, Kanae-san? They told me that you live on the Inside?"

I sipped more of my tea. "Yes, only barely though. My house is still more-or-less isolated from the actual main house. But it's within the walls alright."

"You've known about the curse this whole time? Is it because you are so closely related to Yuki-kun?"

I coughed a bit, and I felt the tension rise.

"You could say that."

"Oh, is that so?" She replied.

"Yes. Our mothers were sisters."

"Oh? What is your mother like? Is she at all like Yuki-kun's?"

I straight-up choked on my tea that time. "Y-yeah…I suppose…I don't exactly live with her. And I hardly ever see her."

"Oh, do you live with your father then?"

Yuki's fist even clenched then. He himself hardly mentioned out father. "N-no. I live with a foster mother. Her name's Misaki. She's good friends with Kazuma-sensei. You might have seen her around."

"Ah! I would love to meet her!"

"I'm sure you would."

I saw Kyou shift. "Tohru, I think the laundry's done." He said.

"Oh!" She started, whizzing off in an instance. I sipped the remainder of my tea placidly.

"Damn she really is like a house slave." I said without much humour. I turned to Yuki. "You okay?"

His face surfaced, bright and smiling. "Yes, I'm fine, Kanae."

"You just seemed kinda tense. Even more so when she mentioned our father."

"Well yes I-" He paused, looking at me. "Kanae, have you ever even met him?"

I shrugged. "No. I don't ever feel the need to. Kazuma fills in for most of the father-like things. I'm surprised that he and Misaki just haven't gotten married yet." I looked up at the celling ponderingly. "Maybe he just doesn't like woman…"

Kyou and Yuki both jumped a little.

"N-no…" Yuki said nervously. "I don't think it's quite like that…"

Kyou straightened, placing his arms on the table. "It's quite the opposite, actually."

I looked to Kyou. "How so?"

"I heard them talking once. They were talking about some "Shiori-chan" who was a friend of theirs. And, Misaki was refusing to go to her wedding anniversary. I was pretty young, so I didn't fully understand it then. A few years later I asked Kazuma honestly. And he told me, that Misaki had been in love with Shiori, and their family thought that was wrong."

"…what? Why wouldn't she mention any of this?"

"I guess it never came up." I wasn't mad about her being into women or anything, it made quite a bit of sense actually. It did make me a tad bit sad. As I child, I had naïvely hoped that Kazuma and Misaki would have gotten married, then me and Kyou could have been actual siblings.

Yuki paused before speaking. "Are you…are you gonna ask her about it?"

"No, it's not really my business." I said, standing up. "You guys want more tea?"

"I'm fine thanks." Yuki smiled.
Kyou stood up with me. "I'm gonna go outside for a bit."

Yuki got up too. Helping me clear the table. "I think…I'm going to go out too."

"Where to?" I asked idly.

"I have some business with Haru." He said almost in an almost sinister tone.

"What, you're not going to kill him are you? I thought that was Kyou's job."

He chuckled. "No, no…I just," He looked off, a tad wistfully. "I need to…" His brows creased. "I'm worried. After what he did to you…he might just be getting out of control."

I nodded. "I'm going with you."

The look in his eyes told me that he wanted to protest. "But…okay. You seem so sure."

"I am sure. I want to go. He's not gonna do anything. And if he does, you can help me get away before I lock up."

"Alright." He still seemed a bit nervous. "You sure? You're not feeling sick or anything?"

"I'm sure."

Despite my insistence to my decent health, Yuki insisted on me bundling up at least a little, since he figured that it would be good for my throat. I borrowed one of Tohru's scarves. It was a silly bright yellow with pom-poms on the ends. It definitely suited her and not me.

We didn't really know where else to look for Haru, besides his house. It was a gamble since Yuki said that he had been skipping school since the incident.

We couldn't find him at the house, or anywhere nearby. Yuki was ready to give up, but I had one more place in mind. I tugged him by the arm. Leading him around by the wall.

"Huh? Where are you taking me?"
"We just need to check one last place."

And sure enough, he was there. Sitting on the old branch over-looking the pond. The memories of the many times we spent there flooded to mind, and it made me sad.

"Haru!" Yuki called. He turned to us, hopping down from the tree and walking towards us looking utterly impassive.

I felt some dread flare up in my heart.

"…why is she here?" He wasn't reproachful, he sounded really concerned actually. "Kanae you shouldn't be out of bed. I'm sure you caught a cold." His hand reached out to me out of habit. I smacked his hand away, clinging to Yuki.

"Haru, don't come any closer. Please. Just stay away." I turned my eyes from him. "I'm only here to make sure that you and Yuki don't fight or something. Just ignore me or I'll have to leave." I only hated half of him. This half really did care about me, and I'm sure he hated how he hurt me. I could feel it tearing at him.

Yuki placed a protective arm in front of me. Looking at Haru sternly.

"Just ignore her. I'm the one who came to see you today."

Haru blinked. "And why is that?" He still didn't emote, but I could sense the minute shift in his stark white hue.

Yuki continued, looking at him firmly. "Haru, I know that you can't control yourself when you go black, but, I think that this has gone too far."

I held on to Yuki, trying to separate myself from what was happening. I hardly even listened to what they were saying. I didn't want Yuki to have to fight this battle for me. But it was that I just wasn't willing to face it on my own.

Haru only blinked, and Yuki took a deep breath to calm himself down. "I know that, but I want to believe that you can prevent it if you try. I mean, what better incentive is there than..." He gave me a solemn glance. I averted my eyes again.

"I know. I know I hurt her, and it's something I won't be able to live down."

"That's not the point Haru. The point is making sure you won't hurt anyone else."

Haru's Aura suddenly fluctuated. I winced as if he had slapped me.

He grimaced, his fists clenching. "It's not like…I even know what to do about it. I guess," he brought a hand to his face, running it through his hair. "Y'know, when I was with Rin, I felt like I could be okay. I just thought, that eventually it would all go away." He gave me a meaningful glance, I held it, remembering what I had said that had pissed him off so thoroughly. "Kanae…what…what did you say to me? What possibly could have made me hurt you like that?"

I felt like that was more of a question for him. "Why would I tell you again? You could blow up again."

The little hope that graced his face melted away. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. But I just…" He looked down. "I honestly don't remember. And it kills me. I really don't feel like I could even do something like that!"

"But you did." I said firmly. Standing up straighter and moving away from Yuki. He was a little reluctant to let me go. "It doesn't matter if you regret it, or if you couldn't control yourself. You still did it, and that is something you can never undo."

He grimaced. "I though Yuki was the one here to lecture me." I knew he meant no malice. I knew that he was just re-stating fact. But I detected just a hint of malice and annoyance. That was enough to put that last piece in the puzzle. I realised, that, I don't love Haru.

I love the way he makes me feel. I love that he makes me feel normal like an actual human being. Like, everything that I'm not.

"Yuki lets go back. I've had enough." I said, tugging on Yuki's sleeve like a child.

He looked at me solemnly, complying without another word. I let Haru's aura fade into the back of my mind, where it would remain, no matter what I wanyed.

I was a bit fatigued, so Yuki suggested that we rest at a near-by park. We sat down on a bench together.

"Kanae, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"About your… Empathy?"

"Yeah," I shrugged, "that's the word for it." I looked at him. "What do you wanna know?"

"Well, I'm just curious, since, I suppose it's never been explained to me. It's not like you're a psychic, right?"

"Yeah, not really. Not the same as that Hanajima girl if that's what you were wondering." He nodded. "It's not really that complicated…It's basically another Sense. To me, people's emotions are just like a smell, or a light emanating from a person."

"Oh, I see."

"And like any other sense, I can't just stop. I mean, you can cover your eyes, or pinch your nose put the sound or smell is still there."

"Okay, I understand." He gave a pondering look. "So, if it's not too much to ask, what do you…feel…from me."

I bit my lip, not sure how much I should reveal. "Well, the most annoying thing for me is your Spirit. He's very loud, and he's basically the only reason for my ability."

"How so?"

"I can feel the spirits' wills. People like me have been born in the Sohma family for generations, just like the Juunishi."

"Huh. Yeah. I've heard them mentioned before, but not too much."

I nodded. "I find it funny that the elders treat us so poorly. Most of the house-servants and what not were born like I was, and most have some sort of special ability. The abilities can be anything from photographic memory to telekinesis."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Hatori in technicality is one of us. People in the Sohma Family with special abilities, but he's also cursed. So his father was really the Kiireji."

"Ah, I think I understand."

I paused, remembering his original question. "Now that I'm getting to be around you more, I'm able to see your aura better." I said. He looked at me, seeming interested. "It's still difficult for me to grasp, as it's changing and clearing up more and more." I turned my eyes to him. "There's still something that you're holding onto though. Some pain, and some confusion. As well as some unrequited feelings."

"Wow…" he said. "You can sense all that?"

I nodded. "It's not that special really. Everyone's like that to a certain extent." I turned away, looking wistfully back at the sky. "You may still not believe it, but you have a kind heart. That's something I've come to believe." A kind heart, so shackled and tortured, that it almost broke.

"Well," I heard him give a gentle laugh. "I'm glad to hear that, from you particularly."

"Huh?" I turned back to him.

"I know you denied it many times, but, I still always thought that you hated me back then."

I shrugged. "I probably did to a certain degree. I mean, how could I not? When you're young you tend to absorb the sentiments of the adults around you, since you think that's what you're supposed to do and think. Everyone around me pitied me, saying that it was such a strange. There were even some that thought I would have been a better rat because of your weak fortitude." My eyes drifted again. "The servants seemed to have nothing better to do than gossip. They act so high and mighty, feelings like they're a part of something grand and important." I stood up, stretching, I was already feeling better. "Sorry, I have a lot of anger towards the Sohma establishment as you would expect."

He stood up to join me. "I can imagine."

My eyelids lowered. "But it's not all bad I mean, I'll never want for money or food for the rest of my life, and I have family and friends." I tried to inject as much life and happiness into my words as possible, but they still fell flat.

"I suppose, if that's all you really need to be happy." I forced a bright smile, turning to him.

"Of course it is!" I quickened my pace, walking ahead of him. "C'mon, let's go back, I'm getting hungry."

When we returned to Shigure's house, the door burst open before we even had a chance to enter. There was a small commotion and before I knew it Misaki had emerged, grabbing me forcefully in her arms.

"Kanae! Why didn't you call me? I was worried!"

"I'm sorry…I didn't want to bother you on your business trip…" I said as I gasped for air.

"Nonsense!" She cried, pulling back to look at me. Her face creased in angry worry. "You're lucky that it was Kazuma who told otherwise I'd be ever angrier!"

"Mom…" I groaned. "Well…I was going to call you…" That was my justification for coming to Shigure's in the first place, right?

I heard Shigure approach. "You should be grateful Kanae-chan. I'm the one who called Kazuma-dono in the first place!"

"Shut up, idiot." I spat.

"Is that anyway to treat the man who was so kind to open up his home to you?"

"Even if you didn't I would have pried it open. Yuki and Kyou would have helped." I shot a glare at Shigure.

Misaki patted me on the back. "I've raised you well."

Kazuma joined us as well. "Now, shall we take you home? I'm sure you still need more rest." I nodded, looking back to Misaki, I remembered what Kyou had told me. It was a shame really, Kazuma and Misaki already worked so well together. But, Misaki just couldn't return his feelings.

I found it perplexing. Because to me, I'd always felt feelings of devotion and trust being reciprocated between them. Perhaps I was still too young to fully understand.

We said our goodbyes, and the three of us left, Kyou apparently still able to get a bit jealous over Kazuma. It was almost as if we were actually a family, though no close bonds of blood existed among us. Kyou remained behind, something I found strange, as I could feel some resistance from him…

But, I also felt something else…something that was…drawing him away. For a brief moment, I felt only his steady orange glow. I felt what I was always meant to feel from him. The light of someone who loved and enjoyed life; of someone who was fervent in his feelings for others. But alas, that moment was far too brief. It was not the distance that darkened his light, but the…spirit.

There had to be something I could do. It was a curse, a spell. Wasn't there always ways to break those sorts of things? I knew that Kureno was already free, and as far as I knew Akito was the only other who knew. I let it slip from my mind all these years, as I knew how dangerous it was, how toxic, but it seemed now that I had built up a tolerance to it.

I focused my mind then on the pure warm Auras of Misaki and Kazuma. They always held hope in their hearts, not a vain hope, or selfish aspiration, but a kind gentle wish for the happiness of their loved ones. It was a tiny, gentle flickering light, which in the darkest nights I hoped would always be there to guide me.