I'm not one hundred percent sure I handled this chapter right but this is all I have. Hope you all have a safe weekend! Thanks for reading!
Chapter Fourteen
She was terrified. She was afraid to trust him. She was afraid to lose him. At the moment she was afraid to even meet his gaze. Her heart had been broken so many times that if she had to hold it out to him in her hands, most of it would likely drift through her fingers like sand. She wasn't whole anymore. She hadn't been for a long time, but she wanted to believe that this was different.
He had laid it all out for her, probably because he'd drank a good share of the bottle, but everything he said, she believed.
"I want it to mean that you won't leave again," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
He shook his head. "I won't. If I was gonna leave I woulda left when you told me to leave."
She tried not to let his words fill her with so much hope but it was hard. "You need to sleep. You're slurring your words and you look like you're about to pass out," she muttered, sitting back on her heels.
"I'm not slurrin' my words," he muttered, leaning back on his arms.
She snorted delicately. "What are you doing then? Speaking cursive?"
He nodded, the corner of his mouth turning up for a moment before his eyes grew serious again. "You sure about the prison?"
She wasn't sure about anything anymore but she knew she needed to find them a place to stay and at the moment the prison seemed like the best choice. And even if she couldn't bring herself to walk through the gate, if she was even allowed, she still wanted to at least see that it was still standing. But her group couldn't keep running forever. It was too hard and as far as she knew, the men they had been after all these months were dead now. They didn't have a reason to keep running. "I wouldn't mind talking to him. Maybe he's better now. You know how he was after Lori."
His eyes hardened. "Ain't no fuckin' excuse for doin' what he did. I left thinking you were safe there. He threw you to the goddamn wolves."
"Well, he did what he thought he needed to do," she said, dismissing the subject with a shrug. "I don't want to talk about it right now. We'll worry about that when the time comes."
"We sharin'?" He asked, glancing down at the makeshift bed.
She nodded, feeling drained. Images of what had happened tonight couldn't be drowned by the few sips of alcohol she had taken. The past few days had been so emotionally draining that she longed to just go to sleep but almost dreaded the dreams she knew would plague her. And she worried that he would suffer dreams even worse than hers.
She stretched out next to him, her hands resting on her stomach. She hadn't turned off the lantern yet. She stared up at the ceiling, willing her body to relax next to his as that intoxicating woodsy smell of him seemed to envelop her. As she breathed him in, her body grew more lax and the torrent of thoughts seemed to grow still. They were both lying on their backs, both silent as they stared ahead.
She was surprised to find that she felt something else that she hadn't realized had been missing for a long time now. She felt safe. For so many months she felt like she was hanging on to the edge of a cliff, a deep abyss below her that wanted to swallow her up. She didn't feel that right now and it was just one more terrifying thing. She had grown used to the constant fear. The knowledge that at any moment, her life could be snuffed out regardless of how cautious she was.
But she saw tonight the lengths he would go to for her. She still didn't understand how he could have made it in time. What had driven him from sleep and then through the storm raging outside. He hadn't been sure she had been in trouble but he had risked himself to get to her just in case. And it was a damn good thing too. If he hadn't came for her, she knew what would be happening to her right now.
But he had came and he had brought the hounds of hell right with him, unleashing something inside of him that she didn't even know was there. And he did it for her. He was injured, sleep deprived, unsure that she'd ever return his feelings, and yet none of that had mattered when she'd been in danger. If that didn't prove that she could trust him then she didn't know what would. She rolled over onto her side and he turned his head to look at her.
She knew then, just by the look on his face, that he was thinking about what he had done. The way he had handled the situation had been beyond brutal but he hadn't done it because he was a monster. But he'd think about it, probably try to tell himself that he had handled it all wrong, and maybe to anyone else, he had. But to her, that guy had earned the pain Daryl had inflicted on him and she hated to think that Daryl would lose any sleep over any of it.
She raised up on her elbow when he moved his arms, folding them behind his head, watching her carefully. She pushed his hair back from his forehead, meeting his eyes. "Stop thinking about it," she whispered.
"Ain't that easy," he whispered right back, his eyes flicking to her lips and then back up to meet hers.
She watched as he raised up on his elbows, bringing their faces closer. Her lips parted as she gasped quietly when he leaned in even closer. She spent a lot of long hours wondering what it would be like to kiss him. With him, it was hard to guess how he would tackle the art. He was rough, rugged, edgy and sometimes flat out hard, but there was another side to him too. A side that few got to glimpse. A softer man that wasn't as self assured as he pretended to be. A man that saw inside of others easily and kept himself just out of reach, more sensitive than anyone would ever guess. Which man would it be?
When his lips finally met hers she almost smiled at how careful he was, like if he put too much pressure he'd bruise her. She hadn't had very much practice when it came to kissing. Ed was never much for affection and even back before the abuse started, before they were even married, he'd never kissed her like this. None of the other guys she had kissed before that had kissed her like this either.
Her heart was pounding hard and fast, a startling contrast to the way his lips moved over hers slowly. Her body came alive at the gentle sensation of his tongue tracing the seam of her bottom lip before pulling it between his own, sucking softly. A low moan sounded, deep in her throat. None of those late night fantasies had prepared her for the impact that he would have on her body. Her hands were shaking and there wasn't enough oxygen in the room. She followed his lead, keeping the lazy pace of the kiss. His tongue coaxed hers to life as his hand slid up her thigh and over her hip.
His hands were strong. She knew how easily they could wield a weapon, how quickly they could snuff out someone's life but when those hands slid under her shirt, the touch was as light as the kiss had been, careful. A wide calloused palm slid over her skin, ghosting over her ribs, his thumb barely brushing the side of her breast. The contact was jolting to her system and without thought she slid her leg over his. He silently urged her to keep going until she was straddling his hips. He was sitting up now.
That carefully constructed control slipped a little once she was fitted against him. His arms banded around her, hauling her closer and the kiss grew hungrier. His desire was apparent and it went to her head. She'd never felt very desirable before now but the way his hands moved over her back and the desperate way his mouth was moving with hers had her feeling like the sexiest woman left in the world. It was a heady experience.
He loved her. He'd admitted as much, but she hadn't dared believe that his feelings went any further than that. Never believed that he actually wanted this. The idea of being this physically vulnerable wasn't something she thought either of them was ready for, or ever would be. Her hands were moving over him, mapping out the contours of his body, trembling slightly under her touch with barely restrained need. She rolled her hips over him, testing the waters and he tore his mouth away from hers.
He cursed, his voice rough and ragged in her ear as his nose skimmed her jaw. His hands moved to her hips, fingertips pressing hard as he guided her to move again. His erection was trapped between her legs and the thin material of her pants wasn't hindering the sweet friction. Physical pleasure seemed to be a foreign thing to both of them because every small touch was wreaking havoc on their ability to think clearly.
How long had it been since she had even thought about any sort of physical gratification? Since the prison? Before that? She couldn't remember. That part of her life had lain dormant but now it was waking up and it was ravenous. Nothing outside of where they were mattered, not the past, not the future. Only now and them and the rushing of blood behind her ears, the throbbing need that had her body humming, alive and eager, against him. The pain, the fear, the emptiness, the regret and shame and uncertainty were vanquished in a storm of sensation.
"Off," he panted next to her ear.
She pulled back, blinking, trying hard to get her mind to focus on his words. "What?" There was a glazed look in his eyes but they were intense, dark, the pupils wide.
He growled and then rolled, pinning her beneath his weight, claiming her mouth as his body slid over hers, she felt her muscles clench, felt the heat inside of her rush forth as he moved, sliding back and forth between her legs, promising things she knew he had every intention to deliver. He sat up quickly but before she could protest he was hooking his fingers through the waistband of her pants, not even waiting for her to lift her hips before he was trying to rip them down her legs.
His dark eyes stared down at the lacy blue panties covering her now but when she went to shimmy out of them he stopped her with a hand on her wrist. She eased her hands back, watching him as he gripped her knees and pushed her legs apart before running his hands down her inner thighs. He bit his lip hard and then she felt his fingers moving over her slowly. She squirmed, gasping, pushing her hips up shamelessly to urge him on.
His eyes flicked up, meeting hers, his lip still caught between his teeth as he moved his fingers back and forth with just enough pressure to intensify that pulsing need inside her. She wanted the panties gone but for some reason he felt the need to toy with her before giving her what she desperately needed. He increased the pressure of his fingers, circling and then pulling back, his eyes widening at every sound that escaped her, his breathing increasing. His intense gaze never wavered from hers.
She lifted her hips again, her hands moving to push the panties down but before she could he quickly hooked his finger through the lace and tore them down her legs, swiftly tossing them to the side before he slid back up her body, catching her shirt as he went. As soon as it was over her head his mouth was back on hers.
He was struggling out of his pants as he propped himself up with one arm. She was helping and after a few long moments he was free of the restriction. He didn't hesitate before moving, pushing into her eagerly, filling her in a way she had never experienced before. It was a shock to her system as he moved, deeper and deeper, reaching places no one had ever reached.
"Christ," he growled into her ear, his movements slowing.
She pulled his face down to hers, her fingers tangled in his hair, his eyes met hers. "Don't stop," she whispered, knowing that he needed urging. Lucky her, he didn't need much.
He dropped his head, catching her mouth with his, his body moving over hers. He barely pulled away before he was pushing back into her, like he couldn't stand to break any contact. He wasn't rushing and she was thankful. She didn't want to rush. Instead, he moved almost fluidly over her, the kiss matching his pace, one hand sliding down her thigh, urging her leg higher over his hip. His mouth left hers, traveling down her throat, his teeth dragging over her overheated skin before she felt the hot wetness of his tongue sliding up the valley between her breasts.
When he reached up, untangling her fingers from his hair, he linked their fingers and pushed her hand above her head. His grip on her hand tightened, he made his slow way back up from her chest and claimed her mouth again. Every movement he made seemed filled with purpose and emotion and intensity and she was drunk on everything that was him. And she knew then that that was his intentions. Treating her body like something that deserved to be... worshiped. Not exactly tender, because he was still Daryl and there was a roughness about him that was present in everything he did, but it fit. They fit.
She tried to stop the thoughts, knowing that they would ruin her, but she couldn't. Not now, when her whole existence seemed somehow intertwined with his. Not when it seemed like they weren't even two people but one entity, blending together like the colors into a kaleidoscope. Like two souls in sync, every touch, every small caress only deepening the bond. She was lost and she didn't even care anymore.
She took in a sharp breath when she felt her body tense. She wasn't even sure what was happening at first, not until he raised up on his arms, looking down at her with a knowing look in his eyes. When he moved into her again it was with a calculated roll of his hips that had her gasping, her eyes widening. He watched her, repeating that languid motion, hard enough to jar her and she felt her eyes go out of focus. He bit his lip and watched the first wave of release, the first in longer than she could remember, slammed into her, catching her off guard. His name tore from her mouth as her back arched into him, needing to be closer to him.
"Fuck," he breathed, his voice sliding all over her as she strained to keep quiet. It was no easy task because he was moving and her body was trying to pull him in and the heat was ripping her breath away. He dropped his head to the crook of her neck and she felt him shudder, a growl rumbling deep in his chest as a rush of heat filled her, like kerosene thrown on flames, igniting her. She clung to him like if she didn't then she was sure to break apart. He kept moving, refusing to stop until she was spent. His lips were by her ear, shushing her, but she wasn't even aware of a sound with the way her blood was rushing behind her ears. He finally gave up and covered her mouth with his, drinking her in.
When she was finally able to process what was happening she realized that her legs were locked securely around his waist and her nails were digging into his back. She instantly let her legs fall open so he could move but moving wasn't something he felt like doing right away.
He broke the kiss, raising himself back up on his arms and his eyebrows shot up. She was trying to catch her breath and she felt like a bug trapped under a magnifying glass as he stared down at her heatedly. When he moved away it was hesitantly at first. "You okay?" He asked, his voice breathy and rough.
She nodded. She had no idea what that was all about. That wasn't just an orgasm. That was some sort of spiritual out of body experience. That was... "That was fucking incredible," she blurted out quickly.
She felt like a grade A idiot but the grin that her words left on his face was worth it. He rolled off of her, flopping down gracelessly onto his back and then wincing, glancing down at the bandage that was now crimson. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it up, ignoring the wound. "Fuck, I was just tryin' for passin'. But I'll take incredible if that's how you wanna describe it."
She stared at him in disbelief. He looked so... smug. Absolutely proud of his performance. She had been expecting a complete shutdown after being so exposed, so vulnerable, but he wasn't at all. And she realized, with a start, that she wasn't either.
"We need to get some damn sleep," he said with a yawn.
"Typical," she snorted, settling down under the blanket and waiting for the inevitable awkward tension to set in.
He raised his head, looking over at her. "Typical?"
She nodded, staring up at the ceiling, her body more relaxed than it probably had ever been in her life. "Typical. Roll over and go to sleep."
He snorted but scooted a little closer to her as she killed the light.