Here is the eighth chapter, named after the song by MIA… And eventually I reached the end of Cissy's fifth year, took me long enough! Enjoy!
"Oh, hello, Narcissa! How are you?"
Cissy turned slowly, raising an eyebrow. She didn't trust Alcyone's voice, high and sickly sweet, nor her innocent face – nor, to be honest, any part of her being at all. The girl was expecting her answer, a huge and ever so smug smile on her face, and her best friends, Smith and Stevens, stood behind her in the darkness of the dormitory like a vague threat – or rather a means of intimidation. Fury flared within Narcissa, piercing through the tiredness. She was a Black. She would not be intimidated.
"Good evening, Alcyone," she said stiffly. "I am quite well, thanks. Yourself?" She forced the last word out, though it tasted sour on her tongue.
"I'm very good, thank you," the girl crooned. "So very happy with Cadmus, as always. It's been months and I still wonder at his perfection." She grinned, eyes glinting. "Oh, by the way, I noticed Travers hasn't been looking too joyful these days," she added with fake concern.
"Why, that's lovely of you, but your overwhelming sweetness makes you more worried than required," Narcissa replied shortly, turning away. "That, or you failed to look around and notice that everybody's been quite tense as of late, what with OWLs coming closer."
"I can't imagine Travers being fidgety about OWLs," Alcyone carried on pensively. "You would, of course. But he… no, he seems to be the confident type. Or maybe he's got reasons to lose part of his airs." She paused for effect. Narcissa had a bad feeling about what was to come next, a gnawing nervousness which made her stomach twist and her hands tremble slightly, yet she forced herself to keep going, ordering her things as though nothing were wrong at all. Turning her head, she met Cassie's eyes inadvertently, from where her former friend sat on her bed, motionless. Rapidly, she turned away.
"Don't you think, Cissy?" Alcyone pushed. "After all, you've been so elusive lately…"
She paused again, watching for the other girl's reaction. Narcissa stiffened and tossed her a glance over her shoulder. "Whatever do you mean?" she inquired icily.
"Oh, Cissy," Alcyone purred, and Cissy very much longed to remind her that she had not received permission to use her nickname, not ever. "Well, you're often off somewhere, aren't you now? Receiving notes… sneaking around, meeting boys in classrooms when your boyfriend is home…"
Narcissa's cheeks were burning. "I don't know what you're talking about," she stammered. Clearly this would not fool anyone.
"Oh dear." Alcyone was wickedly enjoying herself. "It is quite clear that you are cheating on your boyfriend. The question is, why all the dissimulation? One might think it would be quite easy for you to do better than Adrian Travers, after all… Unless…" She had a dramatic intake of breath. "Unless it's a Mudblood you've been seeing behind our backs, darling…"
Narcissa swirled around. Rage and panic were taking over her, enshrouding every other thought. "How dare you!" she snarled, her whole being recoiling from the cursed word – Mudblood-Mudblood-Mudblood –, the insult, and the memories.
"Oh, maybe it's not really a serious thing," Alcyone drawled. "I wouldn't be surprised… You Black sisters like messing about, don't you? Always strolling around with your beauty and all of those dirty little secrets hidden underneath, always cheating and lying…" She had a tinkling little laugh. "Oh, but of course – it must be your father's fault, the deception runs in the blood!"
And blood roared in Narcissa's temples as she threw herself forward impulsively, in a blind bout of desperation. The dormitory echoed with alarmed screams. "No!" Cassandra shouted, and Alcyone and her cronies shrieked in unison.
Narcissa felt Alcyone's shoulders, warm and round under her claw-rigid hands, and the girl thrashed to break free from her tight, enraged grasp. Cissy shook her hard, once, then twice, craving to do more, to tear her apart. "Don't you dare talk about my family ever again!" she screeched.
"Release me!"
Cissy did so, pushing the other girl away from her roughly, and Alcyone stumbled backwards. When she straightened up again, her face was a livid mask.
"You bitch," she growled. "You crazy, frantic bitch. I'm going to have you expelled for this, I swear."
"I did nothing to you," Narcissa hissed in response. The utter thoughtlessness of her move was beginning to dawn on her, and she fought to keep the distress and alarm out of her voice.
"It's been three times," Alcyone told her. "You assaulted me three times. Everyone in this room can bear witness. I hadn't even reported you. But now, believe me, I will." The girl's eyes were blazing. "You are a lunatic, Narcissa. You play the perfect little lady, so in control, but you're just a wild, crazy whore who lashes out when she's feeling threatened. You and your sisters, all lunatics, the lot of you."
"My sisters have never cheated on anyone," Cissy said numbly, "and neither have I." She didn't know how to defend herself further. Frenzy was still reigning, running in her veins, painfully reined in.
Alcyone laughed shrilly. "Stop it!" she exclaimed. "Your slut of a sister attempted to kiss Kingsley Shacklebolt the other day! The Head Boy, that's right! Poor one, he tried to deny it, chivalrous being that he is – but I saw them, and she was positively throwing herself at him! Not so happy in her brand-new filthy home, is she?" She cackled gleefully, carried away with joy at Narcissa's shock. "Perhaps she was hoping she could get her hands on a blood traitor instead, but it doesn't work like that, oh no! How she must regret breaking Rabastan Lestrange's heart! And now everyone can see that Rodolphus gets more miserable by the day, too. Poor, stupid Lestrange boys, falling for the vixens!"
Cissy's head was reeling. "You're lying," she murmured. "You're lying."
"Oh no, Narcissa," Alcyone purred. "It is you who don't want to see the truth, darling. But the truth will come out, I assure you." She eyed her with hatred. "I will make sure of it."
Narcissa slapped her. She heard the screams of shock and outrage as she whirled around, nearly ran into Cassie, who had stepped closer, eyes alarmed and hands extended as though to restrain her, ducked around her and Alcyone's friends and dashed away. Her pale feet were soundless against the icy flagstones of the stairs. She was a shadow skidding in her indigo nightgown, her hair flying.
She was halfway across the common room, mercifully empty at this hour, when reality came crashing down on her. Alone in the corridors, out of hours, barefoot and dishevelled – was she looking crazy? Was she going out of control? She stood frozen there, nearly at the door. It was so quiet – no one came running after her – quiet enough that her ears registered the low intake of breath from behind. Eventually, it reached her conscious mind.
Very slowly, she turned around. At first she only saw darkness. The fire was dying in the hearth, the windows that looked underwater suffused the room with a greenish glow. There was a silhouette, very still, in one of the armchairs. Cissy's feet carried her forward.
The purple nightgown was familiar. She had purchased it herself, a gift. Narcissa stared wordlessly at the shapes and convolutions sketched across the fabric, never at her sister's face. Andromeda's hands were thin and white, tense – they clenched and unclenched slowly, restlessly. She could hear her ragged breathing. It was distant and foreign like the currents outside, pressing against the glass, deep and near and yet untouchable.
Andromeda wanted to speak, quite obviously, but nothing seemed to come out. Narcissa rather preferred it that way. She simply stood there, in the silent forbidden presence of her sibling, and wondered at her own lack of rage, pain or any violent emotion. It was as though anything of the sort had been absorbed by her initial state of disarray, and the feelings had balanced out into some kind of numbness. All the better, maybe.
"It's late." Andromeda's voice was soft and hoarse, incredibly familiar after all this time. "Are you all right?"
Narcissa felt no necessity to reply. The question was utterly irrelevant, asked tentatively, more as a statement than an enquiry. A statement of what, though – concern, or a surviving right to express it? The hope of a bond, persisting still? She couldn't tell, or maybe she could, and merely didn't care to. She stood wordless and motionless, and Meda sighed low.
"I'm sorry," she uttered next. Now that made Cissy blink. Was she, really?
"Cissy, say something," Andromeda pleaded.
"What would you have me say?"
"Something. Anything."
The silence stretched on. Narcissa stared dully forward, unmoved. Andromeda was waiting, eyes alight with a feverish glow.
"I know you hate me," she added after a while, a bit desperately. "I… understand. I didn't expect it to turn any other way. But this wasn't what I wanted, I swear. I didn't want to leave you behind."
"Why did you, then." There was no fury – only numbness, emptiness. In a way, it was very good. In a way, it was frightening.
"Because I couldn't take it anymore," Meda responded passionately. "You could survive without me, so could Bella – you both did. But I was choking, Cissy. I couldn't have borne it any longer."
"And you're happy now."
She had the nerve not to hesitate. "No, I'm not."
Cissy started laughing shrilly. The sound rebounded against the walls, threw faraway echoes into the water, perhaps. Meda was frozen in her seat. "You're so selfish," she declared. "Choking! But I'm choking everyday!" The laughter was tearing through her throat, painful. "And I don't run!"
"But you never said." Andromeda's face, her hands, her lips were white. "You never said anything. Anything. How could I have known?"
"You would have left anyway."
She hesitated. "Maybe."
Narcissa reeled backwards. Suddenly, she could feel the icy stones beneath her bare feet, the chilly air blowing through her frame. "Well, goodbye," she said, her voice light-sounding and too high, almost shrill. It felt like closure – she felt like running. If she had had questions, everything seemed quite useless now. She had all the answers she needed already, summed up in one little word, and all of the rest was irrelevant.
"Don't go!" Meda cried, leaning forward earnestly. But Narcissa padded away, across the room and down the stairs to sit on the last one, curling herself up, in the cold.
Nobody came looking for her.
Knock, knock, knock, knock. "Enter!" a voice called from within the office.
Cissy slipped into the room, shutting the door as she went. Horace Slughorn, her Head of House, sat behind his desk, comfortably filling the available space and her range of vision. He was scribbling on a piece of parchment, and she bit her lip slightly, feeling more nervous than was reasonable. After all, she had been given no reason to believe that the professor wished to speak to her of any unpleasant event that would have been brought to his attention. She stepped forward, slim fingers closing around the back of a chair as she waited for him to acknowledge her.
"Please sit, dear girl," he told her invitingly, and she docilely obeyed, though she kept from expressing a certain dislike at being called "dear girl". Slughorn arranged a few stacks of leaflets that were sprawled before him on the desk, smiling paternalistically. "Let us begin, shall we?" he said. "As you know, this meeting is designed to discuss your future career and your subject choices for the next two years. Tell me, is there any professional path that seems appealing to you at the moment?"
Narcissa cleared her throat, careful to control the wave of relief that washed over her at his harmless words. Only career advice it would be, then. "To be honest, Professor, I haven't given much thought to any work-related prospects," she responded. "I am merely planning to do well on my OWLs so I can continue my education very thoroughly and pass a large amount of NEWTs, but after that I shall certainly marry and lead the life suitable to a lady." She trailed off and stared expectantly at her Head of House, hoping he would get the hint and promptly release her.
Slughorn pursed his lips with a weary sigh. "Ah… That speech is a familiar one to me, I've heard it from many young girls before." He patted his stomach absent-mindedly. "However, you must understand, Miss Black, that it remains my duty to increase your awareness of the various options you still have. No matter how unlikely it is that you may have to find a job indeed, you must be prepared for every possible turn of events – and such is my responsibility."
Narcissa sighed internally, feeling rather nettled. Obviously Slughorn would not simply let her go, regardless of how badly she wished it were so. She waited for the rest, hands folded in her lap, determined to see this through with perfectly appropriate behaviour, no matter how restless the mere fact of finding herself in her Head of House's office made her feel. The teacher's frown deepened at her obvious though politely displayed unwillingness to make his task any easier.
"Very well," he began. "What are your favourite subjects?"
"Charms, Astronomy and Runes, sir."
"Ah, yes. The Blacks and stars." He chuckled. "Runes… Now that is interesting. You could specialize in Runes translation. There are plenty of old texts to study – culturally speaking, quite fulfilling… Are you good at History of Magic as well?"
"Not bad, Professor." It bored her to death.
"Very well, very well," Slughorn declared, though she could hardly see how it was so well at all. "Would you ever be tempted by a teaching career?"
"I think not, sir."
"The Ministry, then?"
She suppressed a smile at his half-hearted attempts. "I would find I lack the necessary ambition, I'm afraid."
Slughorn hesitated. "Healing?"
She stared, shocked. "Probably not, Professor, I'm sorry… Why would you think that?"
Embarrassed, he waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, no matter," he said. "I was remembering there'd been interest in the family before, that's all." He sighed again, obviously wishing this were over with just as much as she did – if any such thing was possible. "My dear, the problem is, you will have to occupy yourself with something once you are married."
"Oh, I would not worry. The life of a lady of standing is not boring," she assured him. He still seemed quite doubtful.
"All right…" he said slowly, and she sensed that the end was near; he would not keep her much longer now. "I suppose Astronomy is an option too. The study of stars… Your family must own a lot of documentation on that subject."
"Indeed, sir."
"Well then!" he exclaimed in relief. "That seems to be the best plan. Keep all the subjects you can, as you said, but if needed, focus on Astronomy." He grinned at her, with all the gratification of a difficult job well handled.
"Yes, sir," Narcissa said submissively. She had no intention to focus on anything but being the best – however, if this helped Slughorn sleep at night and get off her back, all the better. "May I leave now?" she pushed hopefully.
"Ah, just a minute." Hastily, Slughorn proceeded to gather all of his leaflets into one thick pile, which he then pushed across the desk towards her. Cissy raised an eyebrow. "Take this, just in case," he urged. "You might stumble across something interesting or useful. And I'll have done my duty."
"All right, sir," she uttered, taking the papers docilely. "And now…?"
"Now you can go, dear girl," he replied all too eagerly, and she smiled his way before darting from the room.
Well, this had been a mere formality. Narcissa rushed back to the common room, only briefly sparing a thought to pity the unfortunate souls who were struggling to discover the shape of their future overnight. At least she was secure and satisfied. And safe. "Evanesco," she murmured a bit smugly, and the stack of leaflets she was loaded with vanished into thin air.
Travers was waiting for her in the corridor leading to their House, leaning against a wall. He glanced up as she stopped next to him. "So?" he said dryly.
"It went well, though the whole thing was useless, of course," she replied, shrugging. He grunted non-committally.
"Are we going to just stand there?" she inquired. His eyes flashed to her face.
"Yes, probably. I'm planning to, at least," he shot back.
Narcissa blinked. "All right. What's your problem?"
"Oh, nothing big," he drawled sarcastically. "Just had a tiny run-in with dear Alcyone Nott."
Narcissa felt coldness flooding her chest, tightening her lungs as she fought to repress a sudden wave of fear. This was Travers, she reminded herself, not Slughorn – it couldn't be as bad. Maybe there'd be no trouble at all. "What did she say?" she asked, trying hard to sound offhand.
"Oh, many things. That you were sneaking around behind my back, mostly, that you kept attacking her, and that you were a crazy little whore. She rephrased that a few times during our chat to make sure her point was coming across, it was rather funny to witness."
"You let her get away with insulting me?" she picked up incredulously. Attack seemed to be the best line of defence at the moment – easiest, at least, until she could summon her wits again. Her heart drummed anxiously, and she swallowed and squared her jaw, with a defiant glare.
"Oh no, the wisest thing was obviously to throw myself at her and slap her, so I did just that."
"I can't believe this," Narcissa murmured darkly. "You're siding for her. You…"
"Oh no you don't, Cissy," he cut her off. "I spent the whole year siding for you and look where it took me. For the record, I don't give a damn what Alcyone Nott says or thinks about anything. However, I find that a bit concerning when she seems to tell me the truth more often than my very girlfriend does."
"I'm sorry?"
"Well, she would have me believe you've been dating Mudbloods." He was speaking faster and faster, and her heartbeat quickened painfully in response. "But I know you better than that. Did you really think I hadn't noticed anything, when even Alcyone has? Did you think I was that blind? It's not a Mudblood – it's a good spoiled little society boy, I'd bet, but you kept me for venting and tutoring purposes, didn't you? Till the end of the year, then see if you come back in September with a ring on your left hand?"
"Listen," she tried weakly, "please…"
"No," he snarled. "No, Cissy, you are going to listen to me. I liked you – I thought you were fun, really pretty, and just great overall, and I wanted to open up your little mind a little, so badly. Nothing big, I know you've got another future – but at least I was thinking you'd be honest with me." He stared her down. "It looks like you're unable to be honest to anyone, unfortunately."
She was starting to shake. Her whole body shook, shock and hurt and disbelief stirring in her insides with a cold, cold realization. "Adrian," she whispered, "please listen to me."
"Go ahead. What do you have to say?"
He was glaring harshly at her, and her eyes slowly started swimming, blinded with tears. For a minute he appeared mollified, and then he shook his head.
"I'm sorry," he told her. "I thought I could help. I can't, and you're not letting me anyway. I don't know what you kept me for, but it doesn't make sense. We're done."
A little sob escaped her. Cissy didn't know what she wanted anymore. However, she was sure that Travers should not leave her. She would be lost if he did… "Wait," she pleaded.
He hesitated.
"Look," he said bluntly. "Ask him, if you need to talk, whoever it is. I'm sure it's someone… great. It's just not my job anymore, you can't expect me to stick around forever and get this in return." He bit his lip. "We can stay friends. Just… not right away. I have feelings, too, you know."
Narcissa reached out and tangled her fingers with his. For a moment, he paused and looked down at their linked hands. Then he broke free, slowly.
"Take care of yourself," he threw hastily, half over his shoulder, before he disappeared into the common room, leaving her frozen behind.
"Thank you Miss, that will be all," the examiner said.
Narcissa took a moment's pause after she'd left the Great Hall, leaning against the wall and breathing deeply. She reminded herself that it had gone all right, everything had. She could calm down now. Only a few subjects left. Her heart kept on hammering in her chest, and she gave a small sigh.
The door opened again, causing her to jump a little. A Gryffindor, and a Ravenclaw she remembered seeing in Herbology – Buggle, that was it, that was his name. Cissy snorted. The boys walked past her without sparing a glance to the side, and she remained standing there as they disappeared at the corner of the corridor. She waited.
One last time, the door released a student from the tangible reality of OWLs. Cassandra Burke stepped back, visibly shocked to find her still there, to face her so unexpectedly. Narcissa swallowed.
"Hello," she said. "How did the exam go for you?"
Cassandra tossed back her hair, a sharp gesture. "Quite well," she answered dryly, "as you probably saw."
"It was hell to stay focused," she confessed. "I thought I was going to snap."
"But you did all right."
Narcissa pondered. "Yes. Yes, I think I did."
Cassandra nodded curtly. "That's good."
"I'm glad you did well too," Cissy hastily added. "Well, that's hardly a surprise."
She thought a shadow of a smile might touch her former friend's lips. It was short-lived, but real. "Oh, stop it."
They hovered a few seconds, then Cassie started going for the dungeons. Narcissa followed, walking quietly alongside her. They did not speak for a little while.
"Fifth year, almost done," she eventually risked. "This feels so strange, doesn't it?"
"I'd say it went rather slow," was the only answer she received.
Cissy chewed on her lip. "Cassie," she uttered softly.
Cassandra froze and turned her way, just a little. Her face was half thrown into the shadows of the corridor and Narcissa did not really try to meet her eye. She willed herself to carry on, find some strength.
"I…" The words were hard to push through her lips, all of her carefully thought-out sentences seemed forgotten at the moment. "I guess I'd just like to be friends again," she tried. "If you'd like that. I mean – I missed you. It's been a hell of a year, and I know I haven't been… very good to you. Let me know if you think you can forgive me."
Cassandra didn't reply for a while as Cissy waited with bated breath. A low sigh escaped the other girl's lips. "Is this about Travers?" she eventually asked. "Feeling lonely, aren't you?"
Narcissa struggled for an answer. This much was impossible to deny. "I didn't run to you as soon as it was over, did I?" she finally said. "I mean… I've been dealing with it, on my own. The year is almost done, we're all going to get home. I could just leave and see what happens next term. But I know that we would need to talk – now." She paused. "I really want to fix things up. I want our sixth year to start differently." And she dared to look up and meet Cassie's gaze.
The girl nodded slowly, sternly. "Cissy, I got hurt," she said. "I lost my best friend, overnight, for something I wasn't responsible of."
Fear fluttered at the bottom of Narcissa's stomach. "I know," she swiftly spoke.
"I just want to make sure you do. It's not only words. I might need time, too. But…" She paused, seemingly unsure. "I'm all right with the idea of giving it a chance. I think it might be worth it. And I like the sound of that new start, I think."
A smile slowly blossomed on Narcissa's lips. "Yes," she agreed, "there are a lot of things I want to leave behind."
Cassie wrinkled her nose. "Start slow. Those damned Charms books, for instance," she suggested. A smirk was definitely playing on the corner of her mouth now, and Narcissa grinned back eagerly.
The walk from the castle to the train was a quiet one. All around the other students were joking and chatting loudly, but Narcissa preferred remaining silent and Cassandra seemed lost in thought. They had not been talking much since their encounter during exams, enjoying brief moments of companionship instead and allowing the reserve between them to slowly melt away. It was pensive, restful and oddly way more pleasant than Cissy would ever have imagined.
The girls settled in an empty compartment and Narcissa leaned back into her seat with a small sigh, allowing her lids to drift closed. She was going home. Of course the summer would hardly be a lazy one, but the pressure of social engagements and the one of exams stood realms apart, although each was certainly equally taxing, in their own way, as the other. It would be a relief to slip from herself and be out there in the world, playing again. Opening her eyes, she found Cassandra watching her thoughtfully.
"What is it?" she asked. Cassie shrugged.
"Nothing." She turned slightly so she would face the window instead, and it was Cissy's turn to behold her in silence.
"What are you doing this summer?" Cassie suddenly inquired, making the other girl start. She had whipped her head again, abruptly, to stare straight into Narcissa's eyes.
"Well…" She hesitated. "Balls, for the most part, I suppose. And I'll be visiting Bella…" She trailed off, uncertain somehow.
"Tell me about balls. Are they nice?"
"Oh yes. The people are lovely… And hosting one is the most thrilling thing, of course."
"Anyone I know? Well, besides Alcyone?"
"Alcyone and Cadmus, but also many others… Virgil Greengrass… They are mostly older though. Oh, there's Lucius Malfoy – isn't he your cousin?"
There was a rather cold, awkward silence. "Surely. Never met him," Cassandra uttered. Narcissa fumbled for what to say next.
"What about you?" she managed. Cassie just shrugged.
"Probably not much. Cara will be getting ready, she's found an internship at the Ministry in September, so we'll be spending time together as well, I guess. It's going to feel odd without her."
"I understand." Cassandra frowned slightly, but made no further comments.
"Where will she be working?" Narcissa inquired next. She honestly cared very little about Carmilla's career, or anything related to her at all, actually – but a hint of unease had sneaked into her and Cassie's easy quietness, and broken the charm. They had to keep talking now, she was painfully aware of this.
"Minister for Magic and Support Staff," Cassie answered carelessly, with a slightly mocking drawl. "Says it looks pretty interesting, but it rather seems boring to me… I'm not a Ministry kind of person anyway, it's so formal and narrow-minded. I would prefer Gringotts or something similar, something a bit out of the ordinary." She yawned. "How did your meeting with Slughorn go? The Careers Advice appointment?"
Narcissa considered. "Quite well, I suppose. It isn't like I needed it, it was merely a bothersome procedure to go through."
Cassandra had a mirthless laugh. "Did you tell him you'd only be getting married anyway?"
"Basically, yes." Narcissa giggled, a little out of nervousness, as there was nothing specifically funny about the matter.
"Right." Cassie abruptly stood. Cissy blinked, taken aback, staring up at her friend. "I'm going to see Cara. Are you coming along?"
She hesitated. "Won't she be with the others of her year? It is their last train ride together."
"Yes, but they don't want to let it get too… nostalgic – nor to allow everyone to start rambling about their marvelous work opportunities, so it'll be good if there are people popping in and out. Come on."
Narcissa stood willingly enough, and the two girls made their way into the corridor, passing a couple of loud, excited groups. Cissy slipped between a boasting boy and his giggling bunch of admirers. She found herself jostled against a compartment door, and automatically glanced inside as she regained her balance. She froze. For the last time, probably, she was seeing her sister.
She looked up, and Cassandra was staring, a few steps away, half-turned in her direction. They locked gazes shortly. Then, before she had a chance to make up her mind, part her lips in a call or merely start thinking again, the other girl swept on her heel, striding away. "I'll be with the seventh years," she shouted from over her shoulder above the din.
Cissy swallowed convulsively, with another anxious glance inside the compartment. Andromeda hadn't noticed her yet, and already Cassie was gone, out of sight. She had the choice and she didn't. She slipped inside, hardly breathing.
Her sister blinked in shock at the sight of her. "I'm not staying," she spoke quickly, back pressed against the door. "I just – wanted to say goodbye."
Andromeda stood. Slowly, she reached out one hand and Cissy stared at it. She seized it. Pulled forward a bit roughly, she found herself in her sibling's arms, breathing into her perfume.
"Goodbye," Meda said, voice muffled and tearful-sounding. Narcissa squeezed her own burning eyes shut, overwhelmed by the warmth and familiarity of the embrace. She felt something, deep within her, threatening to break – again, all over again. Carefully, she counted ten seconds in her brain before stumbling away.
Andromeda let her go, just standing there, watching – watching her as she fled, once more, one last time. Cissy didn't look back, dashing to the door and through the corridor instead, blindly. Her shoulders hit other students' and she kept her head lowered, biting her lips hard, struggling to remain unconspicuous, if not actually in control. Eventually, she threw herself into the compartment she'd been looking for, located Cassie and dropped on the couch beside her, her pulse racing.
"Hi, Cissy," Carmilla called a little defiantly. She did not look up, and the other girl did not insist. But she felt Cassandra's hand covering hers, squeezing her fingers. She held tightly onto it, clinging to the comforting touch until the train finally reached London.
The air she breathed smelled of smoke and rain. "Take care of yourself," her friend told her as they stepped down onto the platform. Narcissa swayed and avoided her gaze, but gave a tiny nod. She glimpsed her mother waiting alone, a little ways apart from the crowd. Another sharp pinch at her heart, unreasoned.
"You, too," she muttered, and Cassie hugged her briefly before letting her go. Unsettled, Narcissa paused to take a deep breath, square her shoulders, straighten her back and compose her face. Then she walked to her mother confidently, a flawless society girl on the outside and on display – something to be proud of.